Hugs. I get it.

Ditto. My mother was 39 when I was born, and 43 when my brother was.

My grandfathers were born in 1887 and 1890. Neither family had lots of children; my father was an only child, and my mother (also born in 1927) was, like your father, the middle of three. Both my grandmothers, though, were well educated and had careers (one fairly short, one longer) before marrying and having children. They were about the same ages as their husbands, but married relatively late, in the context of the time. It always amazes me when I see adults whose grandparents are living and thriving. My last grandparent died, in his mid nineties, before I graduated from college. My kids' grandparents had all died (at good old ages) before they entered their teens. Long generations are kind of neat, in the stories that get passed down: that grandfather talked about having met a veteran of the Battle of the Crater; the other knew a cousin of Queen Victoria. But it kind of stinks, because you don't get much time with them. I'm always a bit jealous of those with big, living families.

This varies with climate. In our (increasingly hot summer, but mild winter) region, transplanting most perennials works best in fall, like shrubs and trees and bulbs. They experience more temperature extremes, and thus more stress, in summer than in winter, so planting in the fall gives them a chance to get established before facing the heat. Tender, borderline hardy plants of any sort are the exception. They need to be planted in spring to establish themselves before winter. In other places the stresses are different. It's all about which plant, in which place.

I'd say it would depend on whether there's much difference in the temperatures and general weather between the two locations. Snow can actually protect plants from more severe temperatures. If the two houses are in the same region, and experiencing similar weather now, I doubt the snow would harm the plants more in their new location than in their old location just because they had been transplanted. If one region is still in the nineties and the other below freezing, I'd anticipate more trouble. Violas may be biennials or short lived perennials, though, so depending on where they are in their life cycle, they may die regardless. They might drop some seeds first, with luck.

Yep. Same here. Different state.

Me too, please? My older dd just turned 17.

These were one of my first thoughts! Lingering among pastries for a moment, if I could, I'd bribe someone to bring me Eccles cakes. Lovely puff pastry and currants, and completely unavailable on this side of the Atlantic. Look in a bakery/confectioners shop, not in a grocery store. Bounty bars, like Mounds, or Cadbury Fruit and Nut were my favorites. Yes! I'm hungry now. 😋

Station 11 was one of those books that gripped my imagination for weeks after I finished it. I still find myself drifting back to it, months later. For those who liked Poisonwood Bible and Prodigal Summer: Barbara Kingsolver's most recent book, Unsheltered, is one of my favorites. It shares some themes with Station 11, as both are concerned with the fragility and beauty of our natural and social worlds.

Taking precautions isn't dumb. Did they offer any sort of help? I hope they at least said to stay home and rest.

Gentle hugs, Terabith. Take care. Seeing the doctor sounds like a good idea.

Can you just go to bed now and get your dh to drive you later? I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks so much for this. I think dd will be interested in the research opportunities and the insight into the school.

Yes! These are great points. I really do appreciate all the thoughtful posts here.

Dd did one AP test in her 10th grade year, but won't have any others. She's been doing DE part time 11th grade and full time 12th grade, though.

Are the writing labs you all are familiar with staffed by students? That's how they seem to be run here. And in a community college, with only two-year programs, the help available wouldn't have much more experience than dd herself. It's still worth a try, and might be useful. She did try to go to office hours, but the professor wasn't where she said she'd be. So far she's turned in two assignments, has two more due Monday, has not gotten anything back, and has not gotten any comments. The other students were trying to work out meter and rhyme scheme; dd had those. They told her that her language was sophisticated. That's all she's heard from anyone. She's worried about coming across as thinking that she's better than others, but just objectively, she is better prepared for the class. Meter and so on are pretty easy for her. She does need help, and she cares about this a lot, but so far the class is not offering much.

Thanks again, this is all helpful. Can anyone else speak to the degree of academic pressure at any of these schools? (Thanks, Mom0012.) I know this is experienced differently by different students, but does it seem more intense at particular schools, or is this really just impossible to measure? Has anyone gotten a sense for it by visiting? I guess, to get a little more specific: if a student's stats put them above, maybe even well above, the middle range accepted at a given school, would you expect that to mean classes might be too easy? We have that tension where we're looking for "just right", neither too easy not too stressful. High academic ability, but enough pressure is already applied internally. We don't need more. But then there's a current CC class which is really frustrating dd because she knows how to do what they are teaching already, and because she's at that level now, she isn't getting any help with learning more. We don't want that experience repeating itself over and over in college.

Thank you both. Taking notes.

I think CC could be a great path. This is very much the sort of thing my dd was talking about doing til she just reversed course. It took me a while to get used to the idea, and then I was enjoying the thought of the money we'd save and the financial security she would have at an early age. Now we're back to uncertainty. As long as the student has a rational plan and is moving forward, I think both choices, CC and four year school, are good. Two paths to independence, both valid, with intersections along the way to shift course.

I'd be grateful for any insight into what recent students think of any of these schools. Dd prefers to stay in Virginia to keep costs down. She likes the sound of larger universities, especially Virginia Tech, because of all the programs and opportunities available. She wants classes that challenge her, but not a pressure cooker atmosphere. She does not want a party school, and is saying she won't apply to JMU because she's read it has that reputation. But no one can count on getting into UVA or W&M (she's not sure she wants to go to either, anyway, because pressure), and even though her stats would suggest she could easily get into Tech, nothing about this process is certain... So any experience with JMU, George Mason, Mary Washington or others would be welcome. Additionally, any help interpreting academic ratings on sites like Niche would be great. How would you expect the difference between an "A" school and a "B" school to manifest in actual life? How much attention would you pay to that? What she wants is to have lots of opportunities, classes that challenge her, but not an atmosphere of stress and pressure.

I'll get her to check for a writing center, thanks.

This is helpful, thanks. I'll tell her to make use of office hours. We did already talk about that, dd was just worried about turning up often and having the professor feel she was a nuisance.

Dd is taking a creative writing class at our local community college, and came home disappointed today. Her teacher is apparently not giving any constructive criticism or suggestions at all on students' writing. They turn in a first draft, go over it with classmates, then take it home again and compare their own work to a very general set of guidelines provided by the teacher. They do their own revisions, then turn it in again for a final grade. At no point does the teacher do more than check to see their haiku has the correct number of syllables (and they had been assigned three poems, of which the haiku was obviously the shortest). I'd love to get a reality check on what expectations are appropriate for such a class. Is it reasonable to ask a cc professor to comment on students' writing and offer suggestions for improvements? I know she is probably teaching a number of classes. Maybe this is just how it's done. Dd is thinking about going to the professor's office hours and asking for suggestions. If she does this repeatedly, is this going to be a nuisance? Dd is so disappointed. She is a good writer, and she loves writing, but she has lots of room for improvement. Yet every single class she has been in before, from online writing class to public high school class to hs co-op class, she seemed to do just well enough that the teacher focused on students who needed more help. She could do the things they were asking her to do. But she has never gotten the critiques she needs to improve her own writing. Now she's in a CC class, and the professor seems to not intend to even comment on work beyond issuing a grade. I'll admit I'm frustrated too. These classes are not cheap, and students put a lot of time and effort into their work. How do they learn without help? What gives here?

What other elements of her identity get attention? Does she enjoy sports, reading, pets, other things? And do people express the way they value those parts of her? This is something we had to really work on for my anxious high achiever. She needed not to be known merely as "the smart one". That label carries with it the fear that she might someday do something dumb, and then who would she be? Being "the smart one" is not always a benign label.

Charlottesville or Asheville? Avoiding temperatures over mid 70s might still be occasionally dicey at that point, but on average it would probably be okay. Lots of cultural and outdoor activities in both regions.