This is going to be hard. The outside time isn't a problem except in extreme weather, but both girls have a lot of screen time which isn't entirely discretionary: online school for both last year, and for one this coming year. I can let them know that this would be beneficial, though. One at least would be happy to hear that more outside time was recommended. Older dd's myopia is already worse than mine, which is far worse than dh's, so I understand the suggestion to slow the progression. I'm just sceptical about how effective it will be. I appreciate your thoughts.

We just saw a new optometrist who is suggesting this. The idea is completely new to me. My initial reaction is that the three options which were presented (soft contacts with reduced peripheral vision, hard contacts worn overnight, and dilute atropine drops at night) don't sound great for older teens who are up late (early am) studying routinely and are relatively new drivers. I want them to have all the peripheral vision possible, lol. Also, I gather they are older than most kids who start this treatment. Both are pretty myopic already and their vision is changing enough to require new glasses yearly. Seriously, if glasses weren't so expensive and if she had been driving more over this last year, one should probably have gotten a new prescription after six months. She won't need to drive much for the next few years, though. I found this information online, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4542412/ which suggests that it's not clear whether the benefits will continue long term once any treatment stops. Does anyone have experience with this?

I think the regional variations are significant. Here, over 70% of adults are vaccinated. We aren't seeing much delta yet (though it's been a few days since I looked at the numbers). I do expect delta to increase, but hope the vaccination numbers will prevent hospital overwhelm. Places where most people aren't vaccinated will likely be more heavily affected. My impression is that the vast majority of vaccinated people don't get very sick, but a few do. I don't think we have really good information yet, since this is so new. I've barely stopped masking, did enjoy a few indoor restaurant dinners lately, but will probably mask more again and be more cautious as delta moves in. I will be watching how things go. We're still trying to enjoy summer. Supply issues may still cause disruptions, but at this point I'm feeling pretty philosophical about that. We have some supplies, and we can be somewhat flexible. We're doing the same as @prairiewindmomma, taking care of dental appointments and eyeglasses. I may lay in a few Christmas presents in case of problems later, but nothing extreme. I never know what people will want months in advance anyway.

For a whole cohort of older workers, retirement is an option. My sample has been taking it.

Regarding former employees choosing not to go back, a few examples: My own former employer is desperately trying to hire people for a front-lines position dealing with the public. I did the job for years, had planned to return after kids were present ages, and would be rehired without a doubt, but I'm choosing to stay home. The extra money would be fine, but why would I put myself in a room with lots of other people right now? I can go back later if I want. Several former coworkers from the same job have chosen to retire over the last year. High public contact positions really aren't very attractive at the moment if one has alternatives. My cousin, a nurse, retired early in 2020. She and her husband are in their 60s, and he has extra risk factors. She hadn't planned to retire that early, but says she loves being retired and has no intention of returning to work. I do know a young man who isn't working and probably has been collecting benefits. He didn't work for years before the pandemic, either. He's got multiple personal issues, some consequences of bad choices, some he was never in a position to control. He's actually applied for several jobs this summer without getting hired.

Good luck. I hope they show sense and require masks.

Hugs. That sounds incredibly stressful. I hope the fire stays away from your area.

I would give both sitter and parent copies of Ross Greene's The Explosive Child. I might even go through and highlight relevant sections first, because I'm getting the feeling that no one in this scenario has done much reading about child development, and maybe they don't read naturally to analyze and solve problems. Make it easy for them. Scarlett, I feel for you. This has to be a hard situation to navigate. Thank goodness the babysitter is willing to take advice from you, though.

I'll second the suggestion of a good, tall fence around the property, including across the driveway. Since you're thinking of getting a big dog, it'll be great for them to have the room to run, and you can worry less. Or if the property is too big, then still fence the area around the house and driveway. Maybe even put a sign on the gate saying not to open because the dog might be outside. Maybe one of those speaker systems where they can buzz you from the gate to identify themselves? Most of the things you list seem fairly normal to me: certainly we get sales visits and religious groups, and the odd person just stopping for random reasons. I tend to assume they're answering the phone, or something innocent. We're in a low crime, stable area, so nothing has really made me suspect worse motives. The driving behavior does worry me, but as you say, pretty much all you can do there is try to avoid the worst times. Is your new house far enough from your old house that the driving behavior is significantly different? I'll also agree with pp that, er, communication techniques go a long way towards getting the necessary medicine.

For this part, get him a wheelchair that can be easily folded and put in the trunk, so someone else can just wheel him right out to the van and then into his destination. A volunteer or paid driver should be able to do that. I would think a van driver taking people to the senior center would be accustomed to handling wheelchairs. By all means pursue the PT, but the social stuff is just too important to leave waiting for PT, kwim?

Yikes! That's scary! I hope he's been able to recover fully. @Spryte, I'll be thinking of you and hoping your liver tolerates the doxy well. Glad they're going to be watching it closely. You really don't need any more medical stuff for a while.

Are there any options for transportation other than you driving him places? Maybe someone at the church he'd like could come pick him up, or maybe there's a community service that can get people to the senior center or something. Cobbling together as many social outlets as possible for him, and as many supports as possible to reduce your load, would make life easier all round. You're balancing so many people's needs, in such disparate stages of life, I think you need to find all the help that's available. Would he be more receptive to help if someone from church stopped by to visit regularly? Maybe someone there would like an occasional job as companion, which could morph into more help as needed. Or several people, filling different roles. I think what you're doing for him is great: how lucky he is to be with his family, and even to have a youngster around. It's bound to have some difficulties at first, but I hope you find a way to work those out.

Thread drift, but I've been missing @Dreamergal too, and now I can't even find her user name to link. Hope she hasn't left. My impression has always been that Bill was here somewhat erratically, but I may be wrong. Maybe he'll pop in to reassure us.

I am so sorry. That is an outrage. I hope you can take further action of some sort.

Holding you and Marley in my thoughts.

So, here... just so the OP can mull over the ways things might look... demanding an answer in no way guarantees getting an answer, not because the dc is defiant or anything one could call a bad character trait, but because the ability to articulate thoughts vanishes under stress. Adding to the stress is counterproductive, and does not produce an answer. For us, this is part of the ASD. Again for us, it has no relationship to intelligence or even verbal comprehension, which are both high. It's expressive language as opposed to receptive language. I like the ideas of modeling possible answers, in an uncritical way and at a neutral time.

@Seasider too I'm torn between "horrified", "thank you", and "this times 1000" reactions. Thank you for posting.

Also, add me to the list of people wondering if the dc is really completely neurotypical and agreeing that communication skills are important. How does communication go with the dc in other situations?

I love this.

Yeah, following her was a good idea. It's just so hard. I wish (for many reasons!) our society weren't so dependent on cars. Removing access to driving does remove independence, and I completely understand why people are loathe to do that. I'd hate it too.

Yes! Definitely worth a check.

This makes it so hard, it's true. When we're talking about an activity as dangerous as driving, I think some sort of temporizing approach that gets them off the road, but doesn't feel as scary and permanent, is justified. At that stage my mother's doctor decided her shoulder (which had been injured in a fall) needed to be stabilized by having her wear a sling/brace. The injury and pain were real; in their absence, I'm not sure what we would have done. But they provided a reason for her not to be driving, which the doctor reinforced for a *long* time. She gradually accepted life without driving-- never willingly or happily, but she did get accustomed to it. Family needs to be on board with whatever approach you take. After the car sits idle for a while, the battery might just run down (don't replace it). Or maybe a college student needs to borrow the car for a semester while she can't drive (don't return it)*. Or maybe her keys just get lost (darn!). Or you could substitute a different key, which obviously won't work (what on Earth could be wrong?). Everyone needs to be supportive of her wish to drive, sympathetic about her predicament, helpful in driving her where she needs to go (except for buying a new car). You're absolutely right about the bar for controlling another adult's life being high. There's a conflict with the (also very high) responsibility for safety inherent in driving, which is a privilege, not a right. I think we have to navigate these shoals with compassion and care. Of course taking the ability to drive from a competent adult would be criminal, but when someone is as clearly impaired as the OP's aunt, I think there's a duty to intervene, in a compassionate and supportive way. When we face these decisions, I think we have to ask what the person we're concerned about would have chosen on their own in their prime. Most of us would want someone else to prevent us from driving if we were impaired. Most of us would be horrified at the prospect of causing death or serious injury to others. I think we have to judge others' wishes based on *them, when they were at their best*, rather than on *them, when they are clearly impaired*. *I'm not suggesting stealing her car. She retains legal ownership. But she really needs to not be driving.

Absolute favorites: The Big Red Barn, Goodnight Moon, and Mem Fox's Time for Bed. But, gosh, there were so many we loved. Owl Babies (Martin Waddell), and The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Peek-a-boo (Janet and Allan Ahlberg) were up there on the list.

Me too! I feel like I heard about it very late, but I just saw it mentioned by a naturalist I follow on Twitter the other day.

I've been wondering what the limits are. The birds have to forage somewhere, so I don't know why foraging from garden plants would be any worse, kwim? I haven't brought in the shepherd's-crook type supports for the feeders, and the birds were hopping on them. But they also perch on any available branch, so... Idk. I guess removing the feeders means removing places they tend to congregate, like telling us all to stay out of the grocery store. Then hopefully they forage in a more dispersed pattern. Eta that maybe I'll at least wipe the feeder supports down with the bleach solution they mentioned. After the feeder's been gone a few days, they won't land on it much more than on any other good landing spots.