I think some of this depends on the norms in the group you hang out with, and wide variation will exist. But if the op's dd finds that she's being misunderstood in her circle, it's worth explicitly making the point that, like it or not, people may interpret her actions that way. More than that may or may not be needed.

As a parent of one kid on the autism spectrum and another who is just past the diagnosable range, I'm reading this as difficulty understanding the social norms and expectations that actions carry. I know that may not apply to your situation. But-- I also know that when social thinking instruction is given to entire classes, including kids with and without diagnoses, teachers often find everyone benefits. So, I'll offer two books from people who do very good work on this topic. I don't know either book, because my kids are younger, but I know most of their materials are extremely useful. They are purposely designed to be useful to people with and without various diagnoses. https://www.socialthinking.com/Products/Socially Curious and Curiously Social A Social Thinking Guidebook for Bright Teens Young Adults https://www.socialthinking.com/Products/GoodIntentionsAreNotGoodEnough ...and for some reason those links won't work right, but they will give you the website and titles. Pulling them up might be worthwhile. Hope you find something useful!

I keep hoping for better emojis and simpler access to social groups. The color doesn't bother me once I'm signed in, because I've changed the "theme", but yes, the light blue is hard to take initially. And constantly needing to sign in is irksome, too. Still... It's kind of SWB to provide the forum, and I'll gratefully use it as it is. I'd also be happy to chip in toward the cost of working out these bugs. I've wondered if the lengthy process of changing platforms led to unexpected expenses, since a lot of support seemed to vanish immediately afterward.

I have no opinion on whether surgery would be a good fit for Scarlett's son, but found this article interesting. It emphasizes the emotional elements which can be underlying and contributing to weight issues, and how important addressing them can be. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-44685874 My weight has always fluctuated. At my heaviest, I was 35 and a half stone (222kg). Before then, I was working regularly and I was walking to and from work. But then, I lost my job and I stopped playing football. When the weight started to pile on, that was when my mental health really went down. It's a vicious circle. When I'm depressed, I eat - and when I eat, I'm depressed. I've never had any support for my depression. I've just been put on antidepressants and sent away. I've had to handle things myself and I think my eating is my way of handling it. I knew I was doing damage to myself - but I couldn't stop myself. Quote over, back to my own comment: If I heard the interchange between the two young men who were both overweight described above, I'd be wincing. Many truths are spoken in jest, and many jokes are ways to approach subjects which are too painful to speak of seriously. Editing to add that Scarlett clearly saw the awkward nature of their jokes, and tried to address it. I just personally wouldn't assume they really find the situation funny.

That's great!

Dd got a 4 in psychology. This was her first AP, and she's happy.

I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of all of you.

She is beautiful! Congratulations!

It sounds like you know exactly how the day is likely to go if you make the effort to visit. But what will your mother herself feel about the situation? Does she have a healthy understanding of how messed up the others are, even if she doesn't set boundaries for them? No need to answer here, of course. Actually, regardless of the answer, I'd say don't go. But if your mother understands the situation, I'd add, maybe try to make the drive and get together with her alone, no sister or niece, before the day of the procedure, if that's practical. Or phone her, or whatever would work best for both you and her. If she "gets it", she'll understand why you shouldn't make the drive in that day. You can talk to her again after things have calmed down. If she's tangled up in sis and niece's mess and doesn't understand, all the more reason to stay far away. You have been picking up the broken pieces they've dropped for a long time. Give yourself the gift of grace, peace and sanity, because your life requires uncommon quantities of all those attributes. Send flowers, cards, whatever would mean something to your mom, and stay away.

Also, dd reminds me to ask if DE at the local community college looks better or worse than a co-op AP class. We really appreciate the help!

The only other biology option would be human anatomy and physiology, which might be fine. There are cell biology, genetics, and other options, but they have the Bio 101 class as a prerequisite. The course descriptions for 101 and 102 don't say if they are for majors or non-majors. The catalog does list a basic Bio 1 option for students who have not had a strong background, but otherwise it's just got 101, 102, Human Anatomy and Physiology, and then the more advanced courses.

We're going in to register dd15 for fall 11th grade dual enrollment classes tomorrow, and ran into questions. She has already taken honors biology during 9th grade and regular chemistry during 10th. We had planned on physics for 11th grade, and then an AP Biology class for 12th, but we've shifted to planning for her to do almost entirely dual enrollment. Her current long-term plan is a biology major and then veterinary school. But if she's doing mostly dual enrollment, not high school level classes, how does it look to repeat biology? In other words, to do a dual enrollment biology class instead of an AP bio class? Given that she has already earned an A in honors biology, is the dual enrollment biology likely to be sufficiently more difficult to justify doing biology twice? And, a related question: is there any problem doing her biology DE class in 11th grade, before physics? She is relatively weaker in math than in other areas, and will be doing precal this year. Waiting to tackle physics until she has finished precal seems to make sense. Both of those classes intimidate her a bit. But, again, it just seems a bit odd to do biology again in 11th grade when she just did it in 9th. Am I over thinking this? What would you do?

Wow, that is very interesting.

So glad to hear that! Best of luck to him, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

For myself, I'd want to consult a vet before making that decision. If the dog is in pain, he might react uncharacteristically, but the pain might be treatable. Extra children around do compound the problem. Could the dog stay at the vet's office for observation for a few days? The hind leg issues are a problem, I know, but how big a problem depends on severity, and I'm not sure exactly what your situation is. We have one dog currently with leg issues which don't cause any real problem: he slips sometimes, and we give him a bit of help with stairs, but he's small enough that we can carry him easily. But I've also dealt with a large dog who lost the use of her hind legs suddenly, and when the vet saw her, the vet basically told us it was time. That dog did have other issues as well. Once you consult with the vet, assuming she agrees with your assessment, I'd tell the kids she advised euthanasia because the dog was in pain and confused. This is always hard; best wishes as you work it out.

I'd prefer four rails with small children around.

I am so very happy for you all. Sending all sorts of good thoughts your way.

Lots of hugs. I'm so sorry.

Sorry, you're right, I mixed up the standard score with the percentile rank. TOWRE sight word efficiency ss 117, %ile 87 Phonetic decoding efficiency as 101, %ile 52 This was in 2014, when she was not quite ten.

Okay, I pulled out the old testing. Elision is the only category on the CTOPP which is listed as below average, but phonological awareness is right at the lowest point for an average score. Everything else is solidly average. i also noticed again that her Test of Word Reading Efficiency scores placed her sight word reading at 117 (mean=100, avg.=90-100) but her phonetic decoding efficiency at 52: so, average, but decidedly lower than sight word reading.

She was about nine when she had the CTOPP. I would have to check, but I don't remember them reporting RAN/RAS.

Okay, still need to finish that article, but I got to this part: People on the autism spectrum have brains that favor shorter connectors. The longer ones seen in the brains of people with dyslexia indicate an easier time with big picture thinking and abstraction. And I can say she has serious problems with abstraction. We have to use concrete terms often, to this day, in talking about division, for example. Like "there are twelve horses in the barn, can you divide them evenly between three pastures" type examples. And big picture thinking? There was a test I remember in her evaluation where she had to look at a drawing. It was basically a big grid of four squares, with lots of smaller shapes superimposed on the grid. She was supposed to copy the drawing. The evaluator said dd never even realized the big grid existed. She worked hard trying to copy the image, but the fundamental organization completely escaped her.

Hmmm, that's really interesting. Thank you, I'll look into that. But wouldn't the CTOPP have shown dyslexia of it were present? Is that not reliable?

Yes, we're sure. I was only asking about the speech part, which is actually pretty common in ASD, so I didn't mention other elements. Multiple evaluations have confirmed ASD. But, like PeterPan said, lots of other issues are often comorbid.

Spelling has always been a huge problem. We just finished Apples and Pears, and have moved on to Megawords. I do see progress. PeterPan, that testing might be useful. I should look into that.