This is what we had initially planned, until our vet expressed some concern over leaving the dogs for more than a few days, given all the opportunities for mischief inside the house. She was concerned that our younger dog, especially, might end up getting hurt by amusing himself in dangerous ways while alone so much. Once I started thinking about that, I could see her point. There's lots to chew. Also, our older dog would need to be carried down and up steps outside, and it will be awfully hot. I 'd really need to be comfortable that others would care for him carefully. He isn't really infirm, but has an old injury and is getting older.

Ouch, I hadn't even thought about barking. We did drive by when we had hoped to visit last week. They had said in the morning that coming over was fine, but to call first. Well, when we called, they weren't there, and after calling a few times over about 45 minutes I was running out of time and just drove over hoping we'd meet them there. They were not home, but the dogs were visible at the ends of their runs, "greeting" us. They were wagging their tails and barked a bit. I didn't see any evidence of discomfort, and they soon settled down. Since the owners weren't around, I didn't leave the parking area. By the time we got home the owner was home and had returned my call, but it was too late to go back.

The family-run place has a total of something like 15 runs. They have a separate cat area as well. Dogs are out in supervised groups, but they said they could give our two their own separate playtime. Since one of ours is older, I like that. As far as I can tell, care is comparable. They've said they are happy for us to stop by, just to call ahead, but when we tried last week they were out. Hard to tell how often they are really gone. We're going to try again today.

We're considering options for boarding our dogs when we're away for a vacation. What would you consider most important when boarding dogs for a multi-week period? This is the first time I've had to leave them this long, and without the possibility of family members caring for them. :-( The choices: Their vet, who we love, has a boarding facility. Runs are inside, roughly 3x5, with an outside exercise yard. Facility is staffed during normal office hours, no one there overnight or part of Sunday. $$. Another vet has a boarding facility which is similar but staffed 24 hours a day. $$$. A family-run kennel, older (1980s), with inside runs about the size of the first but connected to individual, 12' long outside runs. They also have an exercise yard which is smaller than the others, but have said they could give our dogs their own separate playtime, which would definitely be best. The family lives on the property but is not home 100% of the time. They have limited (12) reviews on Facebook, all of which are 5 stars. I'm not sure how much weight to give that. $. Assume all facilities look clean and safe. All indoor spaces have heat and a/c. Which would you pick? What else should I be asking?

Poor dog! I hope you've gotten good news from the vet.

I'm fine with either option.

I'm interested!

Hugs. I'm a bit unhappy about this too. I know I should always assume nothing in the internet is truly private. But I was comfortable with the set up we used to have, and never envisioned the current situation. Until this is settled, I'm not posting in a couple of groups. Maybe not then... not sure yet.

I'm a member of the middle/high school learning challenges social group. Is that the one you mean? It shows up with my other "clubs" now, but I can't seem to get to any content. I'm still hoping more work is being done to resolve all these issues, so atm I'm just trying to be patient. There are some significant privacy issues that don't seem to have been resolved yet in the clubs. Until that gets fixed, I'm debating about involvement in a couple of cases.

I'm so sorry, Barb. You must feel sick. Might family members have pictures they could get copies for you?

Advocates: http://www.specialneedskidsdirectory.com/educational-resources-p3 Fyi, I have not used services like this, I just know they exist. But I'm thinking very seriously of using one when we go through this process again, probably next year.

Wright's Law book: https://www.amazon.com/Wrightslaw-Emotions-Advocacy-Education-Survival/dp/1892320096/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1523800725&sr=8-2&keywords=wright's+law+special+education+law

For background, I have a 13yo dd with similar diagnoses. We are struggling with what to do for her high school years. I understand very well the difficulty of managing your son's education at home. Teaching my dd has meant outsourcing all her sister's educational needs. It has been an imperfect solution, but the best we could manage. I think Peter Pan is right that you need to find out what the public school education would actually look like for your son before you can make this decision. You can make a formal written request for evaluations, go through the IEP process, and see what school for him would involve. Until you know that, you don't really know what the options look like, kwim? I'd quickly get hold of the Wright's Law book, learn about the process, and maybe think about hiring an advocate to help. If I'm remembering correctly, you've had some difficulties with the local school system, so having an outside professional involved might help even more than it usually would. You want the school system to take your requests seriously.

I'll second the beagle suggestion. One of ours is a 30 lb beagle mix. He is smart, happy, funny, and a total couch (dd's bed) potato during the day. He does get walks and training pretty much every afternoon, and needs that. He tends to get very active around 7-9 pm, which has led to our acquiring a stupendous collection of puzzle toys. Food motivates him very effectively, so he's quite good at obedience work (this may be more the "mix" than the "beagle", not sure). He sometimes barks, never bays or howls, can be stubborn, loves people, is exceedingly gentle, and generally is a joy to have around. Our vet, who helped us adopt him, said beagles are a dime a dozen among local hunters. They are often neglected or lost during hunting. The local shelter, oddly, does not have many, but the rescue groups in surrounding counties are overrun with them.

This is a very valid concern. I do think a cat would be a safer choice, though it would not be likely to be a walking companion. What are her typical days like (just for you to think this through, not necessarily post here? Before I was married I lived alone, and I did have a dog. The house had a dog door leading to a fenced area, so the dog wasn't stuck in the house. My schedule let me be off by 2:30 each day, so we went on lots of long walks and did lots of training. I still came home to chewed books and spilled garbage regularly. The dog loved to lounge half in and half out of the dog door, lol, so flies got in the house constantly. That dog was great. She alerted me if anyone was around, and looked imposing, so I felt safer with her there. I think I'd do it all again, knowing the difficulties. Just make sure she's thinking this through and honestly has time in her life for a dog, if she goes that direction.

One more thing... I'm assuming this dd is a young adult. You're probably already thinking of this, but if kids are a possibility within the dog/cat's lifespan, making sure the pet would be safe and happy around kids might prevent serious problems later.

I've referred to this book repeatedly over the last couple of decades as we selected several dogs, and really appreciated its information. We've never gone to a breeder and bought a dog, but having an idea of what might have gone into the dogs at the shelters was very useful. There is a newer edition, so I'm not sure what may have changed, but this is the old one we have. https://www.amazon.com/Right-Dog-You-Personality-Life-style/dp/B000Q938AY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1523618159&sr=8-2&keywords=The+right+dog+for+you I've had good luck selecting adult dogs from shelters and rescues. They're past the puppy chewing and their temperaments have been more obvious. If the dog's going to be alone for hours every day, I'd strongly recommend an adult, maybe even toward the older years. Around here it's mainly pits, too, but I find that planning on spending several months on selection gives time for various other types to surface. Looking on Petfinder.com is helpful, too. Even though at first glance the shelter is filled with pits, a little exploration shows a lot of different dogs available. I know that may not be true for you, but perhaps it might be.

We have just been dealing with this again lately. Both my girls have had repeated patella dislocations. Their orthopedist had suggested the lateral release for dd13, but just yesterday the new physical therapist said that would make matters worse. The ligament is already too loose, so further loosening won't help. She said the more complicated surgery to reattach the ligaments would eventually be necessary, but needs to wait until dd is at least 16 because it interferes with the growth plates. She said dd's muscles are already strong, so no need for further work on that. As a focus of physical therapy, she suggested practice falling safely. :-( She did say the ortho we've seen is more of a shoulder guy, and suggested another knee specialist. Since she sounds like she really understands what's going on well, I appreciated all her feedback, and will follow up on her recommendation for the knee guy. So maybe a physical therapist could refer you to a good person in your area, too. We've used braces, one bought locally at Dick's Sporting Goods, one fitted by a specialist and one ordered online. None have prevented dislocations even while the braces were on, but they do seem to provide some support.

I was subscribed to WTM Politics, Middle and High School Learning Challenges, and Moms of Kids with Autism (not sure I have that last name right). There were also a couple of others I don't remember clearly or don't need to rejoin. I'm now assigned to Praying for our adult children, Vegetarian and vegan, and Instant Pot WTMers. Thanks so much for the help!

This might not appeal to him in the least, but the connection to falcons made me remember that years ago my cousin's husband, who was in wildlife management, supervised interns in similar positions every summer. They basically camped out and kept an eye on young peregrine falcons, protecting them as they grew up in the wild. Typically college students are hired, but his experience might make him a good candidate, and it might give him ideas on how he could use his volunteer interest in other ways. Unfortunately the deadline for this year is past, but maybe something for the future? https://wfscjobs.tamu.edu/jobs/ace-epic-nps-va-shenandoah-peregrine-falcon-restoration-and-wildlife-management-internship-americorps-virginia/

:-( That's a shame.

I'm sorry school has ended this way, at least for now. But it sounds like he's doing well in so many ways. Any chance he could get a job at the volunteer place? Or in some associated field?

And, if he behaves for others, that may just mean that when he tries *as hard as he possibly can*, because he's on his best behavior, he can manage to keep it together. But no one can sustain that degree of effort forever, so at home he relaxes. He trusts you most, so you see him at his worst. At least that's how it sometimes works.

Well-- since no one else has answered-- My ODD kid started to turn around when she got complete evals, an autism diagnosis, and ABA. My problem with ODD as a diagnosis is that it's basically a list of symptoms. It doesn't really provide an explanation. I always wonder if there's been a complete evaluation that starts to get at *why* a child is acting this way. Sorry, I know that's not very helpful. But-- has he had evaluations? Do you know specific areas of weakness for him?