Hurray, what wonderful news! I'm so happy for you all.

Bump, with hugs.

For more winter data, I've always wanted to go to the Up Helly Aa festival in the Shetland Islands. http://www.uphellyaa.org I volunteer to cover that, as soon as funding is secured.

Thinking of you. Best wishes for good exams and good health.

The Age of Reason appears to be over.

Taking the dog was our first plan. The paperwork is cumbersome but not impossible, and we found some dog-friendly flats; the real trouble is that we need to travel in the summer, and the temperatures at the airport and in the cargo compartment may be dangerously hot. Quite apart from dd's attachment to him, we all love Dog and no one wants to put him in a situation that might not be safe. At the moment dd is saying that she does want to go, she just doesn't want to leave Dog. I'm hoping a few short trips where she enjoys herself and comes home to find Dog safe may ease her anxiety. I really appreciate everyone's suggestions!

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the feedback and ideas. We're going to spend some time thinking things over and try to plan an overnight trip or two soon. After we see how that goes, we may have a better idea about longer stays. Exercise guru, I think I'll try to find a little stuffed animal to take along. Thanks for the idea!

Okay, so I'm thinking about the possibility of leaving her. She actually says she'd probably prefer that depending on who we could get to stay with her. Next question, how do you find a person to do this? She has a history of aggression during meltdowns. It's been a while since she did anything more than tear up paper and bang on walls, but still. She is adult-size. She could easily go three weeks with no problems of that sort, and she has never had behavior issues in classes, etc., but... You just never know. And we'd be completely unavailable, except (maybe) by phone. I can really see that this is something we may need to figure out, for the future even if not for now. Just not sure how to do it. I'm thinking of liability issues, among other things. Somebody with training? A special-ed background?

Oh, yes, he could. But the rest of us would like to go too, if we can figure this out. It's a trip we've talked about for years. Before we got the dogs, we talked about boarding costs. We just never expected dd and Dog to be inseparable. I should add that I don't think dd would spend the whole time there miserable. I think she'd enjoy a fair amount of it, and we're used to planning activities she likes, plenty of down time and separate space to recharge. It's really the initial stages of leaving the dog and boarding the plane the concern me.

Oh, you are so right about the adult thing. Let's just say heredity plays a role here, and leave it at that. ;-) He will yield if it becomes clear he must, he'll just be very regretful. No, there's no one we can leave either girl with.

Thanks, Maize. At the moment she doesn't have a therapist. We could try to start that up again. Yes, we've talked about short trial runs. She's already on anxiety meds, and we could ask about increasing them if needed. We've been talking about finding new dog toys over there, too. At first she sounded fairly receptive, then less so as the whole idea sank in more. Maybe therapy and trial runs are the way to go. But we have to make reservations soon if we decide to try this. We need to do a self-catering flat with space for the girls to be apart, and they fill up pretty fast. I'm supposed to be chopping onions and celery for stuffing, and I'm worrying over this instead, lol. Anyway, thanks for the ideas. They're good ones.

Anyone ever travel with a deeply unwilling 13yo? I mean, we're loony to even consider this, right? I could sure use some sympathy and advice from those who "get it." Right now I'm so frustrated, and I really don't know the best course. Dh has earned three weeks of special vacation time that must be used during summer 2018 or summer 2019, or it will be lost. It's a big deal. He really, really wants to go to the UK. Older dd and I would love that also. Dd13 cannot bear to be parted from her dog. Her dog is the center of her world. When asked about where she'd like to go on vacation, she says "somewhere I can walk Dog." When asked what she wants for her birthday, she gives me a long list of precisely-named dog toys. Dog acts as an emotional support dog, but I can't figure out a way to safely and appropriately get him to and from Britain with us. There is no one with whom I can leave dd and Dog. Dh does not want to go on a dog-walking vacation in the US. Dog is not a service dog, nor do I think he can adequately be trained as one. If we make reservations, and then can't get dd on the plane, we lose a bundle. I have researched animal activities in Britain, and dd is mildly interested, but says she wants her own dog. I can't even say , "Well, we'll do it when she's in college." Because there's no reason at the moment to anticipate her going to college. I don't know when, or if, she'll be independent. We've talked about waiting a year and trying a shorter trip first, but dh is afraid she'll miss her dog and be even more adamant about not going in future. His attitude is that this may be the only chance we get, so we should go for it. But I keep picturing her refusing to let go of Dog and the ensuing chaos. How does one get an unwilling, adult-sized 13yo on a plane? Dd13 varies between being reluctant but compliant about the trip, to being (very) mildly interested, to being depressed, curled up in bed hugging Dog.

Dd is newly 13, and very fond of Minecraft. She's played other games, but doesn't care much about them. Mighteor goes into the second category. They have adaptations of a few other games I've seen her play, including one sort of like Temple Run, and another like dh's old arcade favorite Galaxion. After five weeks or so, dd has unlocked all the games and started to grumble that they need to update. We make it work because in our routine, it's part of school. She'd rather do Mighteor than math. (Obviously, math comes later.) This week, I've traded her usual job of dealing with dishes for continued Mighteor while she's on Thanksgiving break. So, no, it doesn't thrill her, but she's willing to work with me and do the routine. She doesn't loathe it.

That's so hard to deal with. You have my sympathy. Can you tell the neighbor the cat's getting under and around the car and is not safe?

Actually, yes, this. We did this for a while with a neighbor's cat which was always in our yard.

Are you *sure* that the cats have fleas? As in, you've seen the fleas on them? They could be scratching for other reasons. But, if you have seen fleas on the cats, talking to the neighbors would be my next step. Find out if they are treating the cats, and explain how bad the problem is. Next step, ugh. Maybe the traps. But I'd want to be really sure the cats were at fault first. What about all the local squirrels, mice, raccoons and such? Here they often support the flea population. If it *is* the cats, how can the neighbors stand to be in their own house, kwim?

If there's a male anywhere nearby (and in the mid-Atlantic/ southeast there probably is), that should be sufficient, always assuming you have enough pollinators. Hollies are a major source of nectar for bees. Any idea how the local honeybee population is doing?

Yes. I would speak to the owner of the company.

I'm afraid I know nothing about either book, but thanks so much for bringing them to my attention. The I Hate to Write book looks like something that might be useful for us.

But that's just exactly what the fact that dogs can't generalize does mean. A class at the local training club is a vastly different environment than my street at home, and both are different from the grocery store. Most (not all) humans generalize pretty easily, but dogs don't. You're right, the trainer has to make sure the dog gets the point. It takes practice in new environments. There will be mistakes during training.

Okay. Yes, I also think there should be a permit. But, what substitute would you suggest for public access training? I think every reputable group uses it. If a dog is going to need to function in a grocery store, he has to be trained in a grocery store. He should have basic obedience down first, but then he needs to learn that "heel" still means "heel" in a store, and how to deal with carts, and so on. I'm just not sure this could be omitted. That does not mean spurious service dogs should be in stores. It's just hard, as a practical matter, to regulate. I guess ideally it would be a two-tiered certification: first "ready for public access training", then "certified service dog".

Seven.

Hugs. That sounds awfully hard.

So, again, this is the point I tried to make before (and Murphy, please forgive my using your post as a springboard): There *is no* permit showing minimum service dog training. It doesn't exist. Individual organizations train their own dogs, and lots of individuals who are disabled train their own dogs. There is no national certifying organization, and self-training is perfectly legal, but no organization exists to certify those dogs. The best that individual trainers can do is, first, have their dogs pass the Canine Good Citizen test. We have two dogs who have passed it, and the training and testing standards varied widely between the two groups administering the test. It by no means guarantees perfect public behavior, though hopefully it might weed out some basic temperament issues and complete lack of training. And, secondly, do lots of public access training, which requires public access as a service dog in training. By this stage the dog should be identified by a vest. I completely agree that dogs don't generalize well. We've needed to retrain almost completely in different locations (we are not doing service dog training at this point, just obedience). Ultimately, ideally, individual trainers should have their dogs pass a public access test supervised by a neutral trainer, and video that test so they can produce it if needed as proof of training. But that video is all they'll have as proof, and there isn't any law about the video. There's really nothing they can whip out to prove they have a "real" service dog. Of course, for a very reasonable sum [/sarcasm], several internet companies will be happy to sell you a certification card, and some perfectly legitimate organizations may provide them for their dogs. A card, unfortunately, proves nothing. I do think we need some national testing standards and certification, but they do not exist now. And that allows people to abuse the system.

Hugs. I hope the next stages go well and you can relax soon about the pending issue. And I share the outrage about Twin1's untreated club foot. Poor little guy!