Thinking about this some more... I was reading one of Michelle Garcia Winner's books with dd today (Social Fortune or Social Fate). This one is a graphic novel geared at teens and tweens. The intro made the point explicitly that excessive laughter is not socially acceptable for this age group. So, I wondered if your dd understands that on an intellectual level, and it's just the physical/emotional control that is lacking, or if the social ramifications still need to be explicitly taught. The rest of this book does not deal with the laughter issue, but it is very good at showing social consequences of different choices. As a bonus, dd thought it was (mildly) funny, so she didn't reject it out of hand. Anyway, if you haven't seen Winner's materials at Social Thinking, you might find something useful there, especially if this isn't purely an emotional regulation issue.

Yes, we have the same sort of reaction from dd. We had ABA for about 18 months, and it helped a lot, but our funding ran out. Insurance won't cover it for us. We did private pay for a while-- ouch. I'm not sure we could do that again, but it got us past some serious safety sorts of issues. I'm really hoping Mighteor makes a difference.

Sounds like we have similar issues! Did you see my thread on humor and mood? It's all really emotional regulation for us. The outer manifestation might be hard to control if she can't calm herself internally. Have you seen Zones of Regulation? It's a curriculum geared at emotional regulation. We have had a very hard time getting dd to use it, but she does at least understand the vocabulary, so that is helpful. Others have had better luck with it.

OhE and Lecka, thanks for all that. I'm going to have to spend some time reading and absorbing. I just ordered Mighteor and it ships tomorrow. Hurray! But she's already decided she hates the whole idea, and I didn't even mention anything like emotional regulation. She just says she only likes Minecraft. Sigh. Yes, she is getting older, and emotional regulation and social skills need to be at the top of the list.

Oh, yes, I know the giddiness is red zone. We have talked about that. She does not respond well, even when we talk when she's genuinely calm at another time. Yes, you are right, trying to interrupt and redirect before things get to the red zone is the best solution, but sometimes it happens so fast. What you wrote just crystallized for me why her reaction to my interrupting her horseplay is so strong, though. She IS already in the red zone, and red-zone play is closer to red-zone anger than it is to the green or blue zones. I wish I had one of the cheerful, relatively compliant spectrum kids I hear about who are happy to take advice in order to improve their functioning [kidding, kind of]. Her reaction to any mention of, say, Zones of Regulation is to shut down. In essence, she goes to the yellow or red zone just because I bring the subject up. She feels under attack, no matter how gentle or non-confrontational I am. It makes it hard to accomplish much. Mighteor is in our plans, and I need to do that soon. As in, today. Thanks for the reminder. ;-)

Not really looking for suggestions here, though I'll be happy to take any; just wondering if anyone else sees this pattern of behavior. Dd12 (ASD) has a really strong sense of humor, and very often it's perfectly appropriate. But we have a persistent pattern where she gets kind of punchy and over-the-top in a way that no one else in the family is acting. She often begins to act out physically, like picking her older sister up and carrying her around (the kid is strong) or swatting at her, all while laughing uproariously. She clearly is not being malicious, she clearly thinks everyone is having fun like she is. Her sister sometimes indulges her a while, sometimes not. I always end up having to intervene, and when I do, dd12 gets offended and angry. She seems hurt that others don't want to play, even if we try to explain that we want to spend time with her, just not in that way. She does this with other family members too, though not generally as physically. If we aren't in the mood for rollicking humor because we're trying to fix dinner or whatever, she gets upset and goes off in a huff. I know I've seen in something Michelle Garcia Winner wrote a reference to kids having a hard time adjusting their mood to the moods of people around them, and I'm assuming that's a big part of what's going on here. There's probably a bit of black-and-white "if you aren't with me, you're against me." We are trying to work on perspective-taking. That's a slow process. Anyway, just wondering if anyone else sees this sort of thing, and if so, how you handle it.

OneStep is so very right. It's not about a label; it's about solutions that help kids have better lives. I wish we'd gotten ours sooner, too.

'60s.

Does she understand pennies, dimes and dollars? Ten dollar bills and hundred dollar bills?

Yep, I've got one of those. ;-) Best advice I've got is to praise good behavior as much as possible, even if it took her a few minutes to get there. It'll get better.

I'll second Maize's recommendation, and add The Explosive Child. And, in case it helps, the fact that your dd can calm herself if she has some time suggests that she'll be able to do that faster as she gains some maturity. So, the omens are good. :-)

Makes sense to me, thanks. That is useful.

I would only add that it's important to find out what is actually available in your own state, especially if moving is not a viable option. Make sure that you also ask if there is an age cut-off, after which even obtaining an autism diagnosis does not qualify you for services. That might either motivate you to move faster or suggest that less help may be available even with a diagnosis. Establishing a paper trail is a good plan regardless, but each state's rules are different about who can qualify for services. ETA Talk to the psychiatrist recommending diagnosis about the services she has in mind, but also talk to your insurance company about what they will cover. Find out what laws mandate in your state.

That's wonderful!

Thanks for this. Hope your ds is doing well!

Sorry it took so long for me to get back. We spent several hours at the ER, but are home at last. Dd is doing much better. She had a ct scan, which showed no problems. Her head still aches, but not very badly. She probably does have a (hopefully mild) concussion. She's thoroughly bored with brain rest already, and frustrated because she has a ton of work to be doing. My biggest problem may be enforcing rest for the next 24 hours. ;-) I really appreciate all the support and good wishes.

Waiting at ER. Thanks, folks!

Dd fell off the horse she was riding. She's got a headache and has been repeating the same question. She says her vision is "funny." Where would you take her? Needless to say, ER is much more expensive, but I don't want to fool around if she needs help.

Good point. These are problems that take several lines, but certainly not a page. So maybe no partial credit is appropriate. I just checked, and the quizzes cumulatively are worth 20% of the grade, and the tests 45%. The teacher seems to be dropping the lowest quiz grade. Dd may just need to make sure she's paying attention and doing her best. I think we will ask about a way to check her understanding of all the problems. Thanks for the feedback.

Thanks, I appreciate the ideas here. These are algebra problems, and no, there isn't any partial credit. Dd has been panicking a bit seeing several quiz grades that are way lower than she is accustomed to getting, based on a small error. She may just need to do better, but seeing a small mistake at one stage of a problem bring the grade down to a 75 is hard. I need to find out how heavily the quizzes are weighted. There is no way to check answers for half the problems. The book gives final answers for odd-numbered problems, but no intermediate stages to show how the conclusion was reached. And, except for the few problems the teacher checks, there is no answer provided for the even problems. So that sounds like a legitimate issue to bring up with the teacher. The point about having dd contact the teacher herself is a good one. She does need to do this herself.

What do you consider a reasonable number of questions for weekly quizzes or tests covering several weeks' material? Dd has an online math class which has frequent quizzes of 3-4 questions. A test contained 13 questions. Dd is upset because one mistake brings her grade down so significantly. For instance, a mistake on a recent quiz resulted in a grade of 75%. Homework is checked for completion, but again, the teacher only actually checks work on 2-3 problems each day. Dd thinks the teacher's goal is to reduce time spent in grading. Dd is accustomed to making very good grades, though math is an area where she has to work hard. She spends hours on the assignments, and is furious that a single mistake can bring her grade down so far. But I'm not sure if this would be regarded as a reasonable complaint, or as an area where the teacher is exercising her own choices which should be respected. I suppose if dd really knew the material well enough, she wouldn't make those mistakes. Would you contact the teacher about this?

I think I'm going to try this for dd12. The emotional regulation has always been her biggest hurdle, and while that's already gotten much better, I think Mighteor will be worth a try. It's a different approach, and one she may accept fairly easily. So, I'll report back, too.

I'm so sorry.

Our state fair used to have a big (BIG) box of dry corn, like a sandbox, with agricultural equipment-type toys. It must have been 10-15' square or so. Hay bales all around for parents to sit on. It was always a hit with younger kids. A petting zoo. The standard baby chicks hatching in an incubator and ducklings with the slide. A straw bale maze. Pony rides, or pony-cart rides. And, you know, the old standbys are still new to the kids. ;-)

Minimus was a good start for mine at those ages.