I think Paige hit the nail on the head here. The dog's owner, if she has autism, *has a disability affecting social interactions*. So, no surprise if navigating this situation was hard for her. The mom has no idea what kind of stress the dog owner is already dealing with, and no idea how difficult interactions may be. If the dog owner does not have autism, the mom still has no idea what her disability may be. Service dogs exist because people need extra help. Disabled people do not owe the whole world complicated explanations of why things are hard or why kids shouldn't pet their dogs.

If an uncle (dh's brother) predictably.wanted to take candid photos at holidays, but your teenaged kids had repeatedly told you it made them uncomfortable, would you tell them to put up with it or ask him to stop? The uncle sees the kids two or three times a year. He's never tried to really interact with them other than brief chatting on those occasions: "what grade are you in now?" , etc. That's fine, but they don't have the sort of close relationship where he would realize they don't like the photography or where they would feel comfortable asking him to stop. Actually, no one likes the photography, but if we object, he says we'll be glad to have the pictures one day, and he wants them to show cousins who can't be at the gathering. Well, most of us have no relationship with these cousins, and don't really want pictures exhibited. I do understand the value of family photos. Somehow this just feels so awkward and unwelcome. He tends to swoop in for closeups of faces. Dh prefers that we just accept it gracefully. I'm not feeling so graceful. Would you ask Uncle to back off, or let him take pictures?

I think your concerns are perfectly reasonable. Can you just explain as you did here? The schedules others just suggested sound good. I'd probably go for dinner and try to leave by 6:00 or so.

A Twitter update... Glad to hear he's improving!

Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol is a much-loved tradition here.

I've kept an eye on Twitter, but there's nothing new there. Maybe someone who's on Facebook could check there?

Smithfield ham, scalloped potatoes, green beans, maybe some cinnamon apples, Sally Lunn bread/muffins, and trifle.

This just turned up on my Twitter feed, and I thought folks here would want to know. Susan, I'll be thinking of you, your husband, and your family. Hope he recovers quickly and you can all enjoy Christmas at home and healthy.

Just wanted to say I liked this because it's interesting to me, not because I think it pertains to Ktgrok's ds. I hope you can get this figured out, Katie. I know the whole situation is concerning.

Two thoughts here, though I don't get the sense that the second applies here... First, matching pajama cards would be eternally off limits for us. But that's just us. More importantly, the one time I *would* include a bf/gf of that age is if their own family situation was lacking, and they were being folded into ours, regardless of the permanence of the gf relationship. They might just need to be part of a family, and that might include being on the card.

I just looked at Petfinder for the Las Vegas area. With the search filtered for small, kid friendly, house trained dogs, several reasonable choices came up right away, and I didn't look past the first page or two. Now, caveats-- a bunch of dogs listed were chihuahuas, which I personally would avoid with a house full of young kids. But there were also other breeds the OP mentioned. Also, these are adults, not puppies. But adults are *good*. They're housebroken! 😉 They have documented good history with kids! And so on... And, these dogs were with a rescue group, and I didn't investigate criteria for adoption. And one at least had diabetes. But there are dogs available in the OP's area, of the small breeds she wants, with known good temperaments, for reasonable cost, waiting for homes. It's worth doing the search.

How old is this dd? Is she old enough to appreciate that selecting the right dog is a process that can take some time? There's a really important learning opportunity there for a child who loves animals. Yes, it's hard to walk away from a sweet dog, but it's so important to demonstrate that, as you say, the decision is best made with careful thought and a cool head. Falling in love with the dog is easy; living with the wrong one is much harder. Christmas can be an overwhelming time for a new pet to come home, as well. Exciting presents to get on Christmas morning could include a good book or two, a leash, and a bed. There are some really good documentaries about dogs, including some from Nova: https://www.amazon.com/NOVA-Dogs-More/dp/B00018U9AW/ref=pd_bxgy_74_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00018U9AW&pd_rd_r=61b0e81f-fe81-11e8-8914-2fb3f3301291&pd_rd_w=R29uX&pd_rd_wg=8mAyh&pf_rd_p=6725dbd6-9917-451d-beba-16af7874e407&pf_rd_r=WVHKT7C08Y3M2NEWM1DJ&psc=1&refRID=WVHKT7C08Y3M2NEWM1DJ Yes, shots are yearly. Also look into the cost of flea and tick and heartworm treatments, which are monthly and can get pricey, though local conditions may let you avoid flea treatment in winter (maybe). Calling a local vet to get an estimate of yearly costs could help you plan. I hate to diminish your enthusiasm, too, but having had dogs throughout my life, I worry when I see someone think choosing a dog is a quick and easy process. Think of the time you put into planning and selecting the right one as an investment. It will pay off richly over the years of ownership, if you do the thinking carefully now. When my dds were old enough for us to let them each adopt a dog, we talked *a lot* about what a big responsibility the selection process was. We talked about how we'd visit lots of dogs in shelters, not expecting to bring them home, but because we wanted to learn about different dogs so we could recognize the qualities we needed and the qualities which were not a good fit. We talked about expecting to wait several months to find the right dog. Yes, we had some tears after one visit. But each girl ended up with a dog which was right for her, and they have an important life skill as well. I'm not implying your dd needs to be this much a part of the selection process; that may not be right for you and her. But-- I know it's hard-- think it all through carefully yourself. Rushing into selecting a dog may or may not work out. And-- I just read your post about the puppy. Do you know how much work puppies are?

Ruth Chew was my absolute favorite Scholastic Books author when I was a kid, but this is one I never read. Her books were such fun. Glad you were able to solve this mystery for your dd!

Yes. This is sound advice. eta: In the midst of everything else it might seem impossible, but I'd think about counseling for the kids. Depending on their ages, they might be more or less aware of what's happening, and reactions could come out in all sorts of ways. But mainly, make sure they're safe.

We were supposed to get an inch and then rain, but it's easily 4-5 inches, depending where you measure. I just heard a big branch crack and fall when I went outside. Power has flickered repeatedly. Guessing no school tomorrow, though they haven't called it yet. I can't believe we've gotten this much snow before Christmas -- it usually wouldn't show like this til January or February here, and not often then.

Thank you all! I'm getting several of these.

Dd16, who is a new owner of her first horse, could use some good horse reading, anything from all about horse care to engaging science writing. She's interested in psychology and animal cognition in general, but books don't need to focus on that area. She's also toying with thoughts of veterinary medicine. If it makes a difference, she rides at a hunter/jumper stable, but she isn't really focused on showing. Books we already have are limited to my ancient Pony Club Manual of Horsemanship, c.1970s, and an updated version of the same. Anything we should read or have on hand for reference?

Thanks! I've been playing around on Familysearch.org since you mentioned it, and it seems very useful. I'll check out the others as well.

Is Ancestry.com good if you aren't going to get a DNA test? We actually have a lot of information, most lines going back to the early 19th or mid-late 18th centuries, but I'd like to try to figure out some missing bits and take some lines farther back in Britain. Is that the best website for that purpose, or are there others that would be better? Something that would let me connect our information with research others have done would be great.

Thanks, Lanny. The modem has been in a central area heretofore, but needs to move. Younger dd is having a hard time self-regulating sleep vs. internet, so it needs to be under our direct control. Thanks! I'll explore what's underneath and proceed accordingly.

Okay, thanks. Guess I'll have to move the heavy furniture to check this out.

My older dd loves Oliver Sacks books: The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat, etc. They focus on case studies in psychology and neurology. Great reading not just *to make you think*, but *about thinking*.

Yes, sorry, a landline. Actually I'm trying to plug in our modem there. I just can't figure out why the blank plates would be there. Getting to them is not easy, so I was wondering if this is some standard practice and if there's any way to guess what's behind them before I strain my back hauling furniture around.

I feel like an idiot, but help me out here. In our master bedroom, we've never needed to plug a phone into a jack before. Now that I'm trying to find one, I see two blank plastic plates at appropriate spots on the walls, but...they're blank. No way to plug in anything at all. Two little screws, top and bottom, that's it. What on earth am I seeing? Why would someone do this? And, if I drag the massive ancestral Victorian furniture aside enough to remove them, will I be able to put a phone jack there? (Architecturally speaking, this is definitely intended to be the master bedroom, and the house is of an age which suggests there should have been a jack there somewhere.)

Thanks for all these great ideas! We did try Inkheart with no success, and Gregor the Overlander offended her deeply because of the negative depictions of rats (which she had as pets). But Ranger's Apprentice sounds like something she'd like. I'm going to have to look up the others you've all mentioned. I enjoyed LeGuin but it's been years.