Yes! Only one sibling here, but two teen girls, closely spaced in age, with similar interests, rivalry, and not a lot of flexible thinking anywhere---> lots of stress. But, they *both* want to be up at night. Oy. One can handle it, get roughly adequate sleep, and manage her assignments. The other can't. Got to go get them moving now... 😀

Lots to think about there. I'm going to have to mull it over a bit, but thank you.

Thank you for this. I think it's very pertinent for us. After all these years, and even though I should know better, sometimes I have a hard time moving past frustration with behavior that seems-- and is-- inappropriate, and focusing on just how hard stress and social demands are for dd.

I'm sorry, that sounds so disappointing. Will your dd be able to visit at some point, at least?

I can say first hand that, even dealing with younger teens, if they don't want to change sleep patterns it's really hard. We are living this now. Dd14 wants to stay up all night and sleep all day. She does not see why she should have to conform to society's schedule or the family's. Left alone, she drags herself out of bed around 5:30 pm, walks her dog as it's getting dark, then stays up until around 6:00am. Obviously we aren't letting this happen, but it's the pattern she started to slide into over the Christmas break. She is still homeschooled, but has a few outside classes. Getting her moving is murder. And to cap it all, she refuses meds, so no more melatonin, though it can help. The heart of the matter is that she does not want to change. So, we're approaching this from multiple fronts, and I'll be glad to get any other suggestions. But atm I'm trying to make sure she has things going on that she wants to be awake for, make sure she has time outside and exercise, and have consequences in place if she doesn't get moving and do the things that must be done in the morning hours. Getting up and facing schoolwork is no fun, but morning is the time I have available, so that's when we need to work. Results so far are mixed.

This is an aspect I had not considered, but should. Food for thought, so to speak.

Just read the care instructions for the enameled cast iron. I may just stick with my old pans...

Yeah. Agreed. But bowls on plates, so there's room for a roll. And to catch the sloshes. 🙃

If I tried to leave the pot in the kitchen, everyone's soup would be sloshed all over the plate before it got to the table. We're clumsy. Last night I just put the old aluminum pot on the table. Makes second helpings easier. So, my standards are not really very high, but I aspire to better things, lol.

We have a couple of ceramic tureens, but they're so cumbersome to wash that I always worry about breaking them as I wash them. Frankly I find them a nuisance, so I don't use them. We have a bunch of useful but ugly pots, aluminum or stainless steel. I cook in these, but don't really love putting them on the table and serving from them. I'm wondering about something like a Lodge enamel pot that would work for cooking and serving. On these winter days when soup is the main item on the menu for lots of meals, how do you serve it?

Bill, thank you so much for linking this. I've looked all over locally but can't get plates like this anymore. I miss our old feed and seed store!

This is huge in our house. If you have any way to access it, I genuinely, strongly would recommend a good ABA program. It provides the support *you* need. It means you aren't eternally being the meanie who has to insist Kid behaves. You will have to insist, yes, but in a structured way and with really good help.

I'm not sure I understand. Did sister #2 put the books up for consignment because sister #3 asked her to do so? Or did #2 get tired of storing the books and put them up for consignment without asking #3? But, you know-- in either case, really -- people before things. Most books, even signed, aren't worth much. If these were, and #3 wanted them back, she should have made arrangements and gotten them back. It would have been best for #2 to give a final warning before selling the books, but both sisters need to realize the relationship is more important than the books. #3 should say "I'm so sorry I made you haul them around, of course you should keep the money." And # 2 should say "I'm so sorry you still wanted the books, I had no idea." And that should be the end of it.

I have no experience with BJU, so can't help there. But Dd16 did take several classes from Kolbe, with fairly good results. If you'd like a Catholic perspective, you might want to check them out.

Thinking of you.

I don't have the recipe, not can I get on Pinterest, but if you can, maybe this will have it? I can't see more than a few ingredients listed. Good luck! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/201395414557528124/

Thanks, everyone. Lots to think about here. She and I are looking into the details of the various programs. I've also suggested she take advantage of a volunteer program at the local hospital this summer and see if she can get a chance to shadow a sonographer.

And yes, she is sounding exceedingly practical. More than I ever was at her age. Kind of stuns me.

(Trying to quote Rosie here, but it isn't working-) Yes, I guess it does boil down to that, doesn't it? I'm not even sure the traditional dorm would be a good fit for this kid at all. She has a very hard time focusing on work in noisy environments. She has always had a hard time fitting in socially when she's been enrolled in public or private schools. But she has wanted to make friends, we've had a hard time connecting with people as homeschoolers, and I had been thinking of college as perhaps a place which would finally let her find a peer group. I think she's thought through her priorities and aptitudes quite well. This is just an unfamiliar path for me. Editing to add that of course she would be in a peer group in the sonography course, so that is still a route to friendships.

Dd16 says she wants the shortest route to independence and financial security. She is bright and a good student. I had always pictured a typical four-year college path for her, likely at a selective school, maybe followed by grad school. But she saw information about diagnostic medical sonography, and she thinks it might be what she wants to do. She is thinking of enrolling in a community college medical sonography program a couple of hours from us after high school graduation, getting an apartment there, and getting an associate's degree before going on for a bachelor's degree in sonography. Job prospects for medical sonography are supposed to be excellent. She likes the idea of having the ability to earn reasonable money after getting the AS, while continuing her studies for the BS. She has been saying for a while that she wants to be in a medical field, but I don't think she'd like the stress and intensity of medical school. This year she has been taking a human anatomy and physiology class at the local community college. She's doing very well and loves it. So-- this idea actually sounds good to me, but I'm wondering if there are drawbacks I'm missing. For example, I think about the opportunity to make lifelong friends at a traditional college. I think about the weight a degree from a respected college can carry. The schools which offer degrees as specialized and career oriented as medical sonography are not the ones people recognize. And a degree in a specialized career path is perhaps not as flexible later as a more general degree. I don't know. I'm mulling this over, and wondering what others think. Ideas?

So many others have said it already, but I find this BIL's behavior both cruel and outrageous. The initial encounter with your son over the joystick showed immaturity and poor judgement. But continuing to argue and insisting that his view must prevail over a child's pushes it over the edge into an area of deep concern for me. He is trying to use adult power to discredit the word and feelings of a small child. He is using anger and bluster to try to force you to agree with him, instead of respecting the word and feelings of your small child. He is showing zero concern for your son's actual feelings. I think your dh has made a good call. I would not trust that BIL around my children.

What everyone else said. Magic sounds like a sweetheart. Give her some space, some calm time and a sense of security. She's supposed to belong to the 13yo, is that right? I'd have that child look after her and you tell everyone else they may not approach the dog and touch her.* They may hold out their hands and call, and see if Magic wants to go to them. They may pet gently if she does. They may offer toys, or throw balls. But no chasing her, picking her up, etc. Give Magic a bit of control. Let her feel safe. She's in an overwhelming, very new situation with lots of new people. Later (weeks later), as you see her settling in, you can decide if those rules should be relaxed. Personally, I'd let her sleep with the 13yo, but that's me. You might see if Magic prefers being crated in that room or on the bed or crated in another room. *ETA: Actually, I probably wouldn't be picking her up at all unless really necessary, or letting any kid do so at this point. But I would give her owner responsibility for feeding, frequent trips out and generally watching over her.

So glad he's home! What good news! Have a wonderful Christmas.

Sounds like a good plan! Hope you have fun.

Okay, thanks, all. I'll tell dh we need to back the kids up and stop the photos.