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Everything posted by hjffkj

  1. we as a society try to control people's bodies constantly: seat belt laws, alcohol consumption laws, drug laws, vaccine mandates to continue being employed, etc. Control is not the end game for many pro-life people, it is protection. The protection of another human being that has no control over their own body. The control that a previous poster suggest is certainly the motive for many people but it is not black and white like you say.
  2. I understand that completely. We had a medical emergency in our family that required so much of my energy to help run a second household so my brother and sil could be in the hospital with one of their kids. It is draining. But I'd say if you always feel that way and it is not just situational with what your mother is going through that you need to learn to set boundaries and expectations that it can't all be on you. That is an unhealthy dynamic. I hope your talks with you mom about what she wants goes well and that tending to her care gets easier.
  3. OP, are you trying to figure out what to do with your mom or figuring out what you'd do or both? If it is your mom, just be there with her and allow her to control how the end of her life plays out. For yourself, if you truly want to be alone in your hypothetical last 6 months of life then prepare your family for that expectation. If that is what you envision but don't really want that but can't picture it any other way maybe therapy will help you weed out what you want out of life in general. For me, my life is exactly what I want it to be so the idea of spending the last 6 months of it alone would be torturous for me. The only thing I'd change about my life right now if I could is having enough money that dh never had to work again unless he wanted to. That way we'd have even more time together and could both pursue our hobbies even more.
  4. Didn't mean to quote. What I'd do with my family is the things I do with them now: go hiking, play boardgames, read, clean the house as a family, play videogames, watch shows and movies, go to museums, go to theme parks, and so much more. I would just continue living my life but cut out all the unnecessary things that get in the way of spending time with the most important people in me life. Sometimes that'll involve spending time doing my own thing while in the same room as them. Like now for example, some kids are watching Hocus Pocus, one is on the PS4, dh and I are both doing things on our phones. But I'm cuddled up with 2 kids(who keeps rotating) and dh and I are holding hands. Dh is cuddling 2 kids as well. One kid is drawing while watching the movie. This is quality time
  5. I'd have dh take those last 6 months off of work and just spend that time with him and the kids. I don't need to go anywhere or see anything specific. But I'd just get as much time with them as I could. They are my world and I wouldn't want to be away from them for a second
  6. This hasn't been my experience, from the perspective of not fitting in or the perspective of excluding someone. For me, I fully accept that my inability to fit in is on me. I do not know how to make those connections within a group that fosters lasting friendships. So, while everyone is doing it around me I'm sort of always the odd one out. Accepted in the group but only at the surface level. I have gotten a lot better over the years learning how to bond deeply in group dynamics. From the perspective of excluding someone (in terms of deeper relationship not in terms of actually not letting them in the group,) it has always been multiple people having the same type of issue with that person that keeps them at arms length. For example, we have a friends group and there is one person who is just incredibly negative all the time. She is always invited to big things but most people are happy when she doesn't come. No one talked about the issue on the first occurrence of negativity, not even the second. The rest of the group didn't start talking about it with each other until it was starting to bring the group down. Now she doesn't get invited to smaller group things because she just hasn't bonded in the same manner with people as everyone else does due to her negativity. I think what you describe is more common in highschool and college. But maybe I'm just not in the type of groups that have that dynamic. I don't seek out relationships in homeschool group because while I home school it is not an interest of mine so I can't bond with people over it. My groups of friends heavily revolve around my personal interests: playing boardgames, martial arts, writing, exercising. With kid centric activities I don't seek out deep relationships unless an individual has the same personal interests as me. But then we take that friendship outside of the group dynamic.
  7. I could only read part 1. It sounds too familiar to the story my mom tells me of my brother's death. Just replace botulism with meningitis and the fact that waiting for a day or two was what ultimately killed him. Thankfully, my sil knew from the cry that there was no way in hell she was going to wait it out. And thankfully the nurses line told her to go to the ER so she didn't need to second guess her instinct. The OT told her that she basically got the baby to the hospital at the earliest they possibly could have. The last time I held the baby was a few hours before she went to the hospital and we all commented on her floppy neck but at 4 weeks old and sleeping it didn't seem to out of the ordinary. The cry is what tipped them off.
  8. Thanks. She has safely taken half an ounce via bottle, so she's getting there.
  9. Thanks for bumping this, I actually only signed on tonight to update this thread. She is home as of a few hours ago. She is still on a feeding tube and is doing OT to learn how to eat again. They taught my brother how to feed her and change the tube. Since him and sil were able to care for her for 4 hours in the hospital by themselves and he could change the tube they released her since she has gotten a lot stronger. Dh and I are actually away tonight and tomorrow. I'll be happy to get home a snuggle that lady
  10. It's a neat concept but not for that price!
  11. That is the drying rack my sil has and what she recommended but didn't actually know it was ikea. we hadn't gotten that far in the convo because she is still dealing with a baby in the hospital. Thank you for your help
  12. I will be near an IKEA on Friday when I visit my friend in Baltimore so thank you for the suggestion. We'll be good with a few drying racks, my parents dryer at their house until settlement mid Nov and my brother's dryer across the street. Just what a pain.
  13. The washer and dryer set I want are backordered until Dec 😓 since the washer is usable it just requires more hands on work I think we will order them and just make do. We'll use my brother's dryer and line dry. Normally I wouldn't wait but the things available are not things I want to waste money on
  14. Sadly, the Miele washers don't seem to be big enough for our family of 8. Neither does the speed queen 😞
  15. oh and I forgot we still need to replace our tires. I'm so overwhelmed with all the high dollar items we are replacing right now.
  16. sadly I'm way over the trifecta. our oven is broken and both of my vacuums are not working properly. The Roomba is under warranty so I gotta make that call real soon. At this point I don't think anything else could break in this house
  17. Haha, I love the Cabrio when we had it. With I could get SQ.
  18. Last time I researched washers and dryers I ended up going with top loaders that I LOVED. But those stayed with the house we sold and the new house laundry room is designed to require front loaders. Well both washer and dryer broke within the last week so now I have to deal with getting new ones. So, can the hive help me out with picking a good high capacity front load washer and dryer set.
  19. I hate playing Kohl's coupon game. It turns me off so much that I no longer shop there. I was shopping there once a year for new bedsheets and other things around Black Friday. But the last sheet set I got doesn't actually fit our king size mattress so I've decided I'm officially done there
  20. They are old enough to be replaced but also potentially have many more years. I just am in no mood to deal with them anymore, ha. Technically our oven is also broken. It will randomly overheat. But we've been dealing with that for like a year now.
  21. Our washer is not not working right!!! So, we're cancelling the dryer repair and just replacing both. Plus, the freezer is broken again, ha. So, October is the month of the appliances. Maybe November will be the month of saving, ha.
  22. No, I see the two as separate too but the idea that she was able to sacrifice herself and be at peace with her life, which is the feeling I got from End Game negates the need for her to atone personally on screen, at least for me. I did enjoy the movie to some extent, just didn't feel like it was a necessary movie to make once End Game had ended her storyline. That is of course unless her story isn't actually over
  23. But the fact that it was created after her death washes out any need for her to atone, because us as the viewers have already seen her ultimate sacrifice for humanity. So for me, that part of the film had almost zero impact.
  24. I would honestly make it a condition of you visiting and speaking to him that he consent to you being able to talk to his doctors. You can not have any construction communication or any form of relationship if you are not in the loop with his medical care.
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