My Dad was called up for Korea, but rejected because of a health issue. It was actually one that the military offered to fix - Dad had a certain skill they really wanted to utilize. But he was under 21 and my Grandma [his only parent by that time] refused to give permission, citing religious exemption. She was a practicing Christian Scientist and, by default, so was my Dad. Now Dad is a firm evangelical, but he has nothing bad to say about those practicing Christian Science. As he's pointed out to us many times, those beliefs may have saved his life. ETA: and I totally agree with Ravin on the view of the modern day draft.

We had a beagle for almost 17 years. She was a sweetie and SO good with cats......but not with other dogs. It sounds as if your beagle doesn't have a problem with other dogs, so I'd say introduce them and see what the reaction is. A younger/older dog combination can be a very good thing!

I second the idea to talk to a social worker about this. We just had this happen with a great aunt who lives away from all the rest of our family. She, too, is a hoarder and we were astonished at the amount of STUFF we had to wade through in her apartment and 5 [FIVE!!] storage units. In the end, we're hoping we got out any and all of the family stuff. Then we just had to walk away from it. We can't pay the fees and she couldn't keep up with the rent. A social worker in her area helped us find a care-home for her. It took some doing, and it's not really what any of us wanted, but none of us have the ability right now to take her in, even if she had been willing to travel across the country [doubtful]. We tried to take her feelings into account, while at the same time being realistic about what was possible. Many times, those two things clashed greatly and we had to chose the most realistic solution. (((Hugs))) to you.....I know this isn't easy.

After thinking over what I would have done if this had been my family..... I would probably talk with dd and ask how she would like an at-the-table correcting in the future, acknowledging that she is getting older and needs to be treated as such. This is not to say that you'll stop parenting.....but that it will slowly be turning into a kind of partnership as she starts to take responsibility for policing herself. Second, I would write my mother-in-law [or, in my case, my mom] a short note, apologizing for the high feelings and tension at the table. In my family, a conversation, whether it's face-to-face or over the phone, is seen as an invitation to justify your own [mil's] actions and point out all the things you are doing wrong as a parent *cough*. I wouldn't give Mom or MIL that opportunity and by writing a note [not email - too easy to hit "reply"] and sending it in the mail, you can say what you want to say and be done with it [ideally].

Everyone on here has good words of advice, so I won't add to that. Bolt, I only want to say that I could totally see that situation playing out in my house. Totally. (((hugs)))

At that age I would have told you I wanted to be a teacher and a mom. Then I took an aptitude test in high school and was told I would make a very good forest ranger. Yep - sign me up!! That did NOT go over well with my parents [Mom, specifically] who made it her mission to talk me out of it. She also talked me out of the working for the FBI one summer, by letting me know I could not use the family car unless I worked in the Valley, doing something else [FBI office was in Westwood - an hour away]. Though I would have only been doing go-fer work, I have always wondered if that summer job might have led to bigger and more exciting things.... :coolgleamA: I still think I would make a good forest ranger.

No, you're absolutely right. I've venting a bit here in cyberspace, because I know how much she really does want to help, irl. It's just that, in this particular situation, her suggestions are starting to cause some hurt. I've been thinking for a while that I need to talk about this with her.....but I know then that she'll be mortified at the thought that her helpfulness caused pain, and *I* don't want to cause that! However, this is one area of my life that I have some control over and I know that the best thing to do is just pull up my big girl pants and speak frankly to her. Things will be better in the long run.

It's been a bad two years. I've been told to "put things in perspective". Ok. But it's still bad for ME, perspective or not. I have three friends who know most of what's going on - only one who knows all of it. She's going through similar things in her life, unfortunately. One friend who means well, but hasn't been through this and keeps offering suggestions of things I/we could do. As if we've never considered all the options before?? For me, writing it all out helps a lot. I'm able to see patterns and think through actions. I remind myself that in 5 years, these current problems will have changed. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worst.....but they won't be the same as they are right now. They probably won't even be the same a year from now! I know that sounds fatalistic, but it's comforting to me. :blush:

I had mandatory rest time for the kids every afternoon from 1-3. I told them they didn't need to nap, but they did need to be in their rooms doing something quiet. Since two of my children are IN-somethings, it worked really well with them [hence the reason they shared a room]. For my extroverted daughter it was sheer torture. But, being the dictator that I am, I enforced it every afternoon possible. It was needed to maintain my sanity. I also had hidden chocolate. Everyone knew the bottom drawer in the fridge was MINE and no one was to take anything from it. As the girls got older, things got a lot better. They knew and liked the routine [did I mention two of them being IN-somethings?] The downside is that I had to make sure that any deviation from the routine was shared well in advance of the event. My oldest now has a household of her own and an active three year old. She has started the mandatory rest time with her child to save her own sanity. I suspect she has also taken over the bottom drawer of her fridge. Checklists were a big help, though when the kids were older I did away with them to keep the peace. Apparently some teenagers resent the fact that you think they don't know what to do! :glare: Alone time. Preserve your alone time!!

Yes! Yes! So many times yes!!!

My daughter is a cashier at our local grocery store. She says this happens [in a lesser degree] pretty much every day. Our area has both the very wealthy and the very poor. "Mom, you would not believe how rude people can be to other human beings!"

Mainly voice, nowadays. My "other" is handbells. I played in a handbell choir growing up, and when we moved to this area I was lucky enough to find a really good handbell choir in need of a bass bell player. I also play the tin whistle and fife.....but only for my own enjoyment or when I want to torture the cats a little.

I got DD's sheets from LL Bean, just as my mom did for my brother and myself years ago. Those sheets LAST.

I totally agree with this! Two of our kids have anxiety issues [which manifested itself differently in each child]. And they were both like this pretty much from birth. I also have a niece who has anxiety, while *her* two siblings are social butterflies who don't seem to have a care in the world. Niece has never been homeschooled and, in fact, attends a very nurturing private school. My girls and my niece are learning/have learned different ways to cope. At some point two of them may need to go on medication. Sis and I are taking it one day at a time. But it does help to have it in the family and to be able to share about the kids. It also helps the girls to know that they aren't alone and it's not because of a "situation"......it's just who they are.

Yes, quite frequently. For the past week it's been handbell music. We have a concert coming up and there are some difficult passages in many of our pieces. I usually wake up with a few of those running through my head. This morning it was page three of "Glorioso". I would like to wake up to songs with lyrics......you know, something I can actually SING!!

The year was 1987. Oh how I loved my prom dress! It was a Gunne Sax, found at an outlet store [back when they really were a bargain] for $25. Totally Scarlett O'Hara, right down to the exact print of her first dress in the movie [though the skirt wasn't quite so poofy]. I also went full-on Princess with the lace gloves [thank you, Madonna for bringing those back!]. My mom loved the dress, too, since her tomboy daughter actually wanted to look like a girl [even wore makeup - Mom's greatest triumph!] I wore that dress 4 times in 6 months. Two dances [different schools], and two events with my Dad [film industry]. The dress is still with me - in the old dress-up box. ;) It's seen a lot of use over the years.

Congratulations on the weight loss!! I still have nightmares over the last bridesmaid dress I wore. I love my sister-in-law, but she picked out the most snooty store in her area in which to find our bridesmaid dresses. AND all the rest of her bridesmaids were these skinny little minnies with no waist and no bust. Enter moi. 6 months postpartum and still nursing about every 5 hours. Add that to the fact that my bOOks are on the well-endowed size anyway *cough*. Everyone else gets the skinny dresses. Shop lady looks at me {and by "looks at me" I really mean she focused in on a very specific part of my body] and says, "My......you are a BIG girl, aren't you?!?!" I was feeling pretty good about myself up until that point. I mean.....I had found my waist again. *That* was quite the accomplishment! Sis-in-Law saw the look on my face and said, "She's just had a baby and is still nursing her...." Shop Lady: "I should say so!" Let us draw a curtain over the rest of our visit. The numbers on those dresses mean NOTHING!! I think current sizing practices are a crock and hate having to try on every single item I buy,. Even if I just bought the same pair of jean in the same size a year ago - apparently things change!

DH and I are technically in the same party. But we may end up voting for different people in the national election come November. I know for sure we voted for different people in our primary a few months ago. He is very vocal about his beliefs. I am not. And, as many have suggested, I try to change the subject if things get a little too heated [ie: most of the time]. It's a matter of respecting your spouse and respecting yourself. I know that, for me, arguing about politics is the surest way to get me to shut down. DH loves to debate. Loves. To. Debate. I hate it. So, if I can steer him towards a topic that I either agree with him on, or don't really care about the outcome, we do fine. But, especially with this election year, that is getting harder and harder to do. I do have to remind dh that we need to agree to disagree and DROP IT NOW. Sometimes that works.

I'm so sorry, Dawn. Also so thankful that your dh was able to deal with the physical aspects of saying goodbye.

"...that was a REALLY long time ago...." I think you can extend the grounding time just for that remark! :001_tt2: I'm sorry your day has started out this way. :grouphug:

My mother-in-law insisted on me calling her "Mom" once DH and I were engaged. I wasn't comfortable with it, based on comments my own mom had made over the years, but it was easier to go along with MIL [with whom we were closer, location-wise during those first years of marriage]. Now I call her "mom to her face, and by her first name when I'm talking about her to others [especially my own mother]. My mom made it very clear to my sister-in-law that she was, under no circumstances, to call her "mom". Jen has a mom already and my mother was not it. My son-in-law asked if he could call me mom after he and Pookers got married. My own children actually call me by another name most of the time, so "mom" doesn't have the same intimacy for me as it did for my mother. Some of my girls' friends have called me mom over the years, and that's just fine with me. I would have preferred my mother-in-law wait for me to ask, or even ask, herself, if that was what I wanted to call her. But after 25 years of marriage, I don't think this will change.

I asked my teen photographer and she said the third one would be her first choice. I would have thought it would be the first one, but she liked all the extras on the Samsung.

I discovered homschooling when I was in college, in a class for teachers, and the professor was deriding this "new trend" of parents actually thinking they could teach their own children....AT HOME [oh, the horror]. I remembered seeing about about homeschooling in our college bookstore, so went straight there after class to buy it. It was the Colfax book, and I was fascinated by the many different ways their kids were learning outside of a classroom. My mom had "supplemented" our education with the subject she thought were important, but weren't covered in the schools, so in a way, I grew up part-time homeschooled. Charlotte Mason was probably my biggest influence during the early years.

Pippen's suggestion above was what my anxious child needed to have when she was in situations that seemed over her head. She *still* needs to have a Plan B and even a Plan C to help her cope with situations today that may seem perfectly normal to many people, but cause a great deal of anxiety in her. She also says it helped when we acknowledged that we may not understand her source of stress, but that it was legitimate and we wanted to help her. Other family members may not have been so sympathetic [telling her it was "all in her head"......as if: POOF! - that'll solve everything!]

Oh no - I got sucked in!!!