I've watched this recovery. It is long, and rough the first couple of weeks (well it was for the extensive one I witnessed). But very worth it.

Praying

We live in an area with regular rolling blackouts. It's really not so bad, though I don't have anyone dependent on medical equipment that runs on electricity. If I did, I'd have a generator. Funnily enough our neighborhood does not get cut off ever. Apparently we are on the same circuit as the emergency shelter and the hospital. We didn't know this when we bought the house. Our neighborhood takes in people from other neighborhoods during blackouts. I"ve lived in other neighborhoods where our power was shut off. As a person who lives with chronic illness, I have to adapt every day. So I think that power outages don't bother me so much because I never have expectations that life will go on as normal. When the power is out, I just take a holiday. This is a privilege, I know. We keep on hand food that doesn't require cooking, we have a camp stove and fuel. We have a Berkey water filter. To me, these are normal measures for any sort of emergency.

Thank you for all replies so far! She is 22. Just at the stage where she'd like to be self sufficient and managing it all on her own, but really too sick to do it. She works full time (through enormous strength of will and some work from home options) but she is losing weight, and spending all free time resting so that she can work. Not sustainable long term.

My daughter is very ill. It's probably autoimmune-she has test results indicating that. But the worst symptom is constant and unrelenting severe nausea for the past YEAR. We have Kaiser and they have shuffled her from one appointment to the next, each one revealing abnormal test results, but they each shrug and say they don't know. She is now so weak and so very ill that action needs to happen. Has anyone had any experience it getting Kaiser to "get it done". All I can think of is going to ER and refusing to leave until they figure it out. She needs doctors and test results in the next few days, not spread out over the next year (as has been happening up until now). Are there any keywords I need to know to get some action? I would deeply appreciate any advice, and also prayers and good thoughts.

I'm not whining about the privacy act. I'm upset that even though we have done the proper paperwork, it appears that most providers cannot locate that paperwork. So it feels like doing the paperwork is useless. And yes, I believe in adult kids being adults and responsible for their own stuff. I was on my own at 15. However, there are times that they can't advocate for themselves, as there are times that I can't advocate for myself. THOSE are the times that I'm talking about. If the paperwork has been filled out, then the provider had better locate it. That's all I'm saying.

You need wifi or data for What'sApp. Or a burner phone bought in whatever country he is in.

"Can I still get Social Security benefits from my own work? The offset applies only to Social Security benefits as a spouse, or widow, or widower. However, we may reduce your own benefits because of another provision. For more information, go online to read Windfall Elimination Provision (Publication No. 05-10045)." I am have been to retirement seminars put on by the state, my husband will receive a state pension, and it appears that MY OWN social security based on my OWN earnings could be affected. I hope I am wrong, but this is what we have been told.

What do you think? Personally, I separate some things out, but I don't want a million categories either. If the soda was sort of one-a-day then I'd keep it in groceries. But if it was more than that, I'd want him to see what that habit adds up to. Just like I wouldn't put a starbuck drink under groceries if it was a daily habit, so I wouldn't put lots of soda drinking under groceries. But I do like to see what percentage of my budget is going to FOOD specifically and what percentage is discretionary (soda).

What'sApp is the app through which we communicate with people while travelling. I have direct experience that it works from US to UK, Asia and Africa. There's always the option to buy a burner phone in the country he's in-probably at a newsagents or some such place in the UK https://www.tripsavvy.com/pay-as-you-go-cell-phones-1583353

I second having her look at the requirements. I would guess that she would not meet them (at least not for any significant scholarships if she did happen to meet the program requirements), but that's better for her to find out for herself than for you to tell her. It seems she has been looking for her thing, you share a lot of different ideas that she has had and they are all over the place. All 3 of mine really didn't know what they wanted to do. The first went to community college, because my opinion is that I'm not paying $15K+ a year for any student to 'try out' classes/subjects. Community college is a wonderful place to explore without financial pressure. Plus it gives exposure to vocational programs that a student wouldn't find at a 4 year college. Our next 2 kids got full ride scholarships to 4 year university so they got to go explore classes/subjects for free. All 3 of them changed majors many times. All of them finished in 4 years. Only one is working in the field that she studied. All 3 are professionally employed directly after college. College paths are as varied as there people. We had overriding principles that helped us stay focused, and helped us facilitate our children's paths. #1. Do it in a financially responsible way (ie minimal to no loans). State schools are absolutely perfect unless one is choosing one of a few majors that "where you go matters" or your parents are wealthy enough to pay for it. #2. Do something that you like/are interested in. Again, many jobs are not major specific, many jobs have their own training you just need to hold A degree, and if you find your burning passion, you can always do that in grad school. Most of us at 18 don't know what we want to do, we don't even know the breadth of jobs out there, and we certainly don't know what life will bring us (illness, injury, special needs, etc). So a degree that is of interest, done in a timely manner (time in college=money), in a financially responsible way, sets one up for many available choices in adult life. I know this doesn't take into account the person that knew they were going to be a professional ballerina from the time they were 5, but those are the exception. I based my decisions on the most likely scenarios, even though I did have one exceptionally different student.

It's called the Windfall Elimination Provision. We are affected by this. My husband is a teacher in California. Teachers here don't pay into SS. So any social security he would be eligible for is reduced (and in his case eliminated) by the pension that he receives through the state teachers retirement. This can also affect the SS of a spouse of a state worker. So my SS is reduced because of his pension. I can see it affecting his SS, but I think it is absolutely unfair that it affects mine. "The family benefit payable to the spouse of a retired worker subject to the WEP is also reduced, but only while that worker is alive." https://www.aarp.org/retirement/social-security/questions-answers/does-my-government-pension-reduce-spouse-survivor-benefit.html

I haven't read all of the responses, so forgive me if you've already heard this. I.ve had the same issue in the past and currently have it with Dd #3. And I've also done it for kid in college with college bills. Yes, I understand that some kids need protecting from their parents/guardians, but give me a break-I'm just trying to pay the bill for my 15 year old in college (apparently once they become a full time college student all the privacy rules apply, never mind that the kid isn't even old enough for a drivers license) and I'm not signing a blank check. Yes, I do want the bill explained to me. There's my vent. My solution: get the kid to sign the release (as you have done) and THEN, when I get an agent on the phone I give the kid's name and ask them to look up, or go get, the signed release. If they can't come up with it, I speak to the supervisor. And then the supervisors supervisor. It's doesn't take many calls like this until my/my kid's account is flagged, and a note made where the release is. The agent must have eyes on the release before I will explain anything that I want. I won't waste my energy telling what I want, to then have them knock me down. I use up THEIR time and energy by making them locate the release form. Then we can all get somewhere. Good luck!

I have many regrets and not continuing to earn is one of them.

If your husband earns $100 too much per month for you to qualify for benefits, might you be better off for him to work slightly less, earn $100 less and qualify for the benefits? I don't know how much the benefits would add up to, but you might want to do the math on this. I know it seems counter-intuitive to say "earn a bit less" but sometimes it works. I agree on selling at least one car. Maintenance, tags, insurance-they all add up. It's not just about the price of the actual car.

Former OT here. I'd keep asking for an OT that dealt with his age group. They are certainly out there, and it's certainly in their scope of practice.

Do you have good insurance and access to an OT referral? They may have some really helpful suggestions about safety and also things to do.

I always cover my brassicas with insect netting the very moment that I plant them. I have also cut the bottom off a 1 gallon plastic pot and put it over the seedling and put netting over the top of the plant. It keeps everything away until the seedling has had a chance to grow bigger. I find that insects don't eat my tree collards, but they do eat my kale. Basil might want some afternoon shade if you live in a hot place. I know it's supposed to be a heat loving plant, but there is such a thing as too much heat (I know, I've lived in one of those places-any plant that said it needed full sun really needed late afternoon shade).

Any bulk sources of compost? Or have you heard of the Berkley method of composting? It produces finished compost in 2 weeks (I haven't done it in that time, but I did it in 3). I got huge trash bags of leafy greens from the grocery store when they do through and throw out the old stuff each day. Browns are the hardest for me to find, but I shred free newspaper if I get desperate. It would take a bit of scrounging to gather the volume needed to produce a good bit of compost, but it could be done. I got a compost tumbler this year (free through Buy Nothing) so that I could consistently produce my own compost and be a bit more self provisioning.

No-till is the way to go. Especially with clay soil. Just layer compost/amendments on top. The soil is it's own ecosystem. The most nutrients are in the top 4 inches of soil. When that is tilled, it disturbs everything good, plus it bring up weed seeds from the depths. Plus it's extra work.

The dean should be able to help with the university policy on who is able to walk in commencement ceremony. Hopefully she will be able to walk even if this assignment is not yet finished This does seem to "above the pay grade" of anyone in her department office. Who has authority to give an extension on the work sample is a different story. I don't know if that's a department thing or a state thing. Whoever gives the grade for that assignment should be able to tell her who has the authority to grant an extension. That's what my son always asks first-who is giving the grade. That's the person that matters.

Perhaps sheet mulching and putting a raised bed on top of it? Or containers for this year while the sheet mulching does it's work for next year? https://extension.oregonstate.edu/gardening/soil-compost/sheet-mulching-aka-lasagna-composting-builds-soil-saves-time If you scroll down to the bottom of this page it talks about raised beds on top of existing grass. We've done it with 3 layers of cardboard and we haven't had any weeds come up through it (2 years). You might ask/look around for places that do bulk loose compost-either pick it up yourself or have it delivered.

Would you mind sharing what podcast you like? I want to get into podcasts, but I just can't seem to

My mom was the opposite as yours and only did grandkid stuff. Now grandkids are all grown and she’s a bit lost. I am trying to have a bit of balance personally. I took some time off after homeschooling. Now I volunteer and have a part time WFH job that is ultra flexible. It doesn’t pay great, but I’m learning a lot and the people are great and it gives me something on my resume for if I ever did need to get something bigger/more full time. So I feel it’s a good middle ground.

I would guess that too. I’d follow it loosely and plead ignorance otherwise 😊