Hello, I live in Tennessee. About 10 years ago, I had a slightly similar situation, but it was with my sister, my only sibling, and my two (over age 18) nieces. My sister lived in another state and became totally disabled mentally due to a complete psychotic break after the death of her oldest daughter, my sweet, sweet niece. It totally devastated my other nieces. So, I had three adults that we had to take responsibility for everyday necessities of life: food, clothing, shelter, transportation. I won't sugar coat it: I found absolutely no help here in Tennessee from disabled and homeless organizations. All of the charity organizations were overwhelmed (due to the Great Recession) and the government agencies were totally uncaring. HUD? They don't even take applications for our area for the last 10 years; most landlords won't accept HUD anymore. Since it was my sister, my family did accept full financial responsibility. Our house was too small but we found them a small apartment and paid rent for a time. They came to our church and found some fellowship there. We joined a grief support group and that was a wonderful group that helped us all. I did all the paperwork for Social Security Disability for my sister. She went from being a nurse to being totally unable to work and in and out of psychiatric hospitals until they got her on some good medications. My sister did qualify for disability, and when that started, it really helped to have that monthly income, but it took about a year to get it started. Between my sister's savings and our help, they were just able to make it until disability kicked in. Before Obamacare, people who qualified for disability had to wait two years to get Medicare, which made no sense at all considering my sister's extreme medical situation. I found more help in just contacting companies directly: pharmacies help me with reduced medication costs, doctors agreed to decreased fees, found the food banks, and got information about education assistance for my nieces. I realize that I'm not being much help in your questions, but from our experience, Tennessee is no help at all for people who are facing homelessness or disability. I doubt it's changed in the last 10 years. Since you don't live near your relative, I would recommend trying to contact a local church. The churches in our area are great sources of information about food banks, rental assistance, etc. My SIL recently needed to help a friend with a similar situation to yours, but she did not want to give money directly to her friend. So, she gave $500 to her church, and they "gifted" the money to her friend in the form of a rental voucher. Your are so nice to try to help. In our case, my nieces are doing wonderfully. They are now late 20's and working and both have new cars and went to technical training schools. They were able to rebuild their lives. My sister is still in the "valley of the shadow of death" as she struggles with the loss of her eldest daughter still, but she is on a good regimen of medications and has been able to live on her own and babysit her grandson. I still watch over her finances. If anything, this whole situation taught me that the majority of people seeking assistance as not welfare queens or scammers . I met so many people who have full time jobs but ended up still in my sister's situation. Good luck and God bless your relative.

Mid TN-near the Kentucky border. Things have normalized here somewhat. Flour is still sparse. Yeast nonexistent in most stores that we shop at. We shop at small Amish owned and local markets for most of our meats and staples. And a small town grocery store for everything else. Summer is coming so we are really looking forward to fresh veges and fruits from our local Amish farmers. We've avoided Walmart for six weeks now, but I should go as Walmart still has the best prices on vitamins. We go to Krogers once a month for prescription refill. It's hit and miss at stores about masks and gloves. I do the shopping as DH has an immuno compromise health condition. I always wear a mask and glove, but only about 50% of the people are also masked and gloved. Our Amish friends do not wear masks or gloves, but their stores and homes are spotlessly clean so I guess they feel safe in that respect. I know a lot of our hometown Facebook boards just want everything to open and caution be damned. The shut down has hurt small businesses here tremendously.

We are long time dog owners. Our BEST dog ever was a beagle mix, Daisy. She was loyal and so gentle. We had her for 13 years before she passed. Only problem that others have mentioned about beagles: Daisy roamed a lot. We had trouble keeping her confined but she finally stayed close to home as she got older. Right now, we have another mix dog - not sure of her breed. She is a medium sized dog - probably part retriever/lab mix. She is not a roamer. We named her Lady, and she loves to be outside patrolling the perimeter of our property and chasing birds. She loathes the UPS driver, however, so we have to lock her up when expecting a package. She's a sweet heart. She sleeps all night inside and circles our property all day when not sleeping. My oldest son owns a Doberman. I have to tell you: I LOVE this dog. She's a velcro dog - right by your side 24/7. She's imprinted on my son to the point that she watches him ALL THE TIME. Born to obey and just a big love bug. They are definitely not an easy dog to own in the fact that they need company all the time. They love their humans. Your kids are old enough to provide the company, but Dobies are great with young ones. My 5 y/o granddaughter is a tyrant with this dog, but her Dobie just gently endures. I can see why people get so attached to these dogs. They are wonderfully loyal and so intelligent. I'd get one in a heart beat, but they are also neurotically needy and clinging to their humans and my husband can't deal with that. My MIL has only ever owned Yorkies. Holy cow, they are great dogs too. She has done Yorkie rescue for 50 years. I can't own one though. Very sweet but yappy as all get out. We owned two Shelties years ago. Loved, loved, loved these dogs too. They are great dogs for first time dog owners. Loyal and independent and rule the house for sure. But we have found that the best dogs for us in our typically sedentary retired lifestyle is the medium sized mix mutt female. My son is very active and the Dobie fits him. My MIL needs to baby something and have companionship, and the Yorkie is wonderful for her. Think about your lifestyle and the time you can devote to your new fur child.

In my area, all-purpose flour and yeast are very hard to find as well as alcohol and hand sanitizier. I stopped by Kroger on the way home today from my chiropracter appointment. Supplies were limited on paper products but absolutely no sugar, flour, or yeast. I normally shop at our small local markets. We live near Amish farms, so we get our eggs from them as well as fresh fruits and veggies in the summer. We also shop at a small family owned grocery store. They have done a wonderful job of keeping meats in stock, but they ration chicken and ground beef strictly to one per person. This store is low on flour and yeast but alot of sugar. I plan to drive to a small Amish owned store thats about 45 minutes away later this week. We shop there notmally twice a month. They sell the handy dandy 50 pound bags of flour and sugar and yeast by the large containers. If you hit it right, they also have baked goods and fresh range frozen whole chickens. We enjoy the drive through beautiful farm lands. Its our only entertainment these days. We stay away from Walmart at this time. I usually buy our vitamins at Walmart, but its been crazy full parking lots here.

My now 22 y/o son had severe speech deficits as a child. He made no babbling sounds as a baby, and by 18 months we started with speech therapy. He was evaluated for everything, and we even took him to be evaluated at Vanderbilt in Nashville. They were no help. He didn't fit any parameters of autism. His hearing tests were normal. Tongue structure normal. He just could not talk beyond grunting, although at age 4 he could say Mama. We continued with speech therapy through age 14. It was a long process of basically teaching him to talk - how to place his tongue, how to make sounds, how to be aware of his speech so he talked slowly and clearly. He is now in graduate school and has normal speech. There were many times i would get very discouraged when he was younger. We homeschooled him because of his speech issues all through high school. I am not sure that your child’s issues are the same, but I wish someone had been able to be more encouraging to us years ago. If there are no underlying issues for speech impedients, it might be that your child just needs help in learning how to talk. Not all kids learn speech in the normal manner. From what I experienced also, this speech delay seems more common in boys.

I have not had good experiences buying a car through private transactions lately. Back in the 1980s, we bought and sold several cars through newspapers ads, and we always had a positive experience: people were honest about the conditions of the vehicle and we also sold cars to people who showed up on time and did not try to cheat us. But through CL, no. Tried to buy a Subura Forester, cash in hand, and the owner was so picky about where to meet us and what time to meet us. Finally we settled on a McD's near her home at 10 a.m. Saturday morning, but it was an hour drive from our home.. She then texted me while we were on the way that she overslept and can we come later? I texted back that we could not and sorry, no longer interested. Then I tried selling a cute Hyundai on CL. Got a couple who seemed nice. They wanted their mechanic to look at it. OK, so I meet them and then sat for TWO HOURS waiting for my car at this mechanic's. I was so angry because they knew I had appointments and I kept trying to leave but the mechanic said my car was torn apart. Then, I get a list of about $1500 repairs that needed to be done. This was a good car that we kept in good condition but was 10 years old. This couple then wanted me to lower the price of the car by $1500 or pay for the repairs. I knew at that point that I was probably being taken for a scam. I took the keys and left. Then I started getting emails and texts - threatening me with legal sued and then begging me with a sob story and then calling me all kinds of names. It was so bizarre. I blocked every communication and quit responding. I took the post down from CL and kept the car. Now, we only buy through dealers. We basically now keep our cars until we have to sell for parts. I am driving a 10 year old Honda Oddyssey with about 300,000 miles, 20 year old Ford E350 for the husband with 200,000 miles. I hope to buy a CRV next.

Hello, I hope that this situation can resolve, because weddings can be so stressful. And in addition, being the MIL (groom's mom) is especially hard relationship! I have a little experience - sadly, very similar to your situation. It did not end well. My oldest son married 2013, baby 2014, separated 2015, divorced 2016, and still dealing with the financial aftermath. At first, we loved our ex-DIL - she really made us her family. I look back though and can see the signs - all financial. We were upper middle class, not rich, but comfortable, thanks to my husband's hard working. She thought we were rich for some reason. The wedding was supposed to be a mini-royal wedding. Her family did nothing, other than contributing a nice sports car to drive her to the wedding and host the bridal shower. We did the food and even paid for the honeymoon. She had a honeymoon baby and then life got really unhappy. She was not happy about the demands of being a new mother as well as being tied down. The other grandma and I watched the baby a lot, because my DIL went back to work quickly. We had no idea though how bad things were getting as we tried very hard to stay out of my son's life - until early Sunday morning he came to me and just had a mini-breakdown. She was spending thousands of $ on a new idea for a business she wanted to start - all funded by him. He was maxed out on credit cards and the house was going into foreclosure because she wasn't making the house payment! He was really stunned by this, because he loved and trusted her so much. She had all control of finances. I spent the day planning steps for him to take, and thank God, he listened to me a little bit. I had some experience because my mother went through a horrendous divorce and I remember the problems she had with finances. Then it got bad - really bad. People listened to her story of our family being horrible to her. My son had been in counseling for several months before he made the decision that he couldn't do this anymore. He made the decision to divorce her. In the process, she had called the cops on him, busted out the windows of his house, told everyone he was beating her, and on and on. The one thing I can say is that she never kept our grandchild away from us - probably because we were free babysitters. The other grandma (her mother) had gone back to work. It's a long story and I'm trying to condense it. My son is financially trying to rebuild his credit. It seems like he can't catch a break though as the bills from their marriage keep coming. Close to $30K in credit cards she took out. She did open her business. They do share custody of their child. He still pays for everything for the child, and we get her all the time anyway for babysitting. My poor grandchild has really been put through a lot. Funny though - she quickly remarried - not sure why as she told everyone she hated being "tied down." But her family and the new groom's family must have not paid anything as it was a small wedding by the lake. They live with her mother. He doesn't work. You get the picture, I think. My son has PTSD - literally traumatized by this divorce. He dates but is very commitment shy. He says he will never, ever marry anyone every again. He is only 29. My advice to you after telling you our story is this: Try to stay out of it. I had a hard time doing this. I could not keep myself from giving advice to my son, but he didn't want to hear my advice except that one day he came to the one person on this planet who he could trust - me. And cried and cried. But after that, he wanted me to stay out of his life and was very insistent on the things I could and could not do towards him and his ex and my grandchild. Of course, it was hard, but I know he is a grown man who needs to work through this on his own. So, I have to trust him to find his way and help when he asks for it. The other advice is to stick to your guns. DO NOT pay more than you can for anything. I think the demands on you guys financially is ridiculous. You have offered help - learn to say no to everything else. As far as the hurt feelings, just realize that it's not going to change anything. The bride will do this her way. My niece refused to invite her grandmother (my MIL) to her wedding. It shocked all of us, and my husband and I refused to go if my MIL was not invited. My niece said it was because grandma was "mean." But grandma paid for college and gave her a car to go to college! It was stupid. We sent a small gift and stayed home. Grandma cried for weeks about it. Then, when my niece divorced after six months and wanted to remarry another guy, grandma (tough old lady) basically told my niece don't invite me again. No one in the family went to that wedding. She had hurt to many feelings with her diva demands. (Her own father and step-mother paid for all the first wedding $20K, and said no to the second wedding.) Good luck. Put on your beautiful dress, dance, and smile. Then go home and pray real hard that your son will do good in his new life. It's a rocky road being a MIL!!

In my homeschool career, I met mostly parents who were responsible and dedicated. One of my sons had a girlfriend whose mother was an English teacher at our local high school and totally anti-homeschooling. She'd tell me all the horror stories of the homeschooled high school students that were barely literate. However, i think getting to know our family she saw thst homeschooling could work, but I think she was surprised at the sheer hard work i had to do as well as the scope of the studies that my kids did. There are homeschool parenting failures, but luckily most of the homeschooling families we knew were successful. What I see happening now in our area is that homeschooling is now a business. No more free get togethers in the park as we used to do or even get togethers to study something fun. Now these co-ops that are for-profit are everywhere.

Hello, I am Sweets and I apologize for the quote from Junior. I had used her post to answer the questions and totally messed up on the posting I guess. Sorry for the confusion.

My second son just graduated with a Bachelors in Engineering. It took him five years, but he did it! He is working now as a project manager, a job he had started about six months ago. Truthfully, college was a struggle for him. He was more worried about his social life than his grades, so he had to catch up on his GPA. My youngest - the one with the speech problems - is now in college and majoring in History. He loves college, but he still is not sure what his life’s occupation will be. He is the only one left at home. As for me, my life really changed once we were done homeschooling four years ago. I babysit my grandchild a lot and have a small online business. I enjoy having more free time to pursue my interests now. I have enjoyed reading about the other high school graduates!

After I retired from homeschooling when my kids graduated high school, I started an online summer-based business. It's been almost five years now. The first year was very successful, but Amazon has really cut into my business and I am just limping along now. I make a small profit but it all goes back into the business. I will probably shut it down at some point, but honestly, I really enjoy doing this business. It keeps me busy in the summer, and I design and make all my products in the winter. My husband built me a "studio" at home where I work. This is work I really love so I enjoy this business, but a family business for sole support? No. My in-laws have had a large business (think 30 employees) that has been going strong for 45 years. They started the business in the early 1970s when the economy was bad and my FIL was laid off. The business has been successful, but it's worry, stress, and long hours. They have always made just a modest income. Everything goes back into the business. Their employees make more money. And, it's destroyed relationships on that side of the family. It's hard to employ family members. Some are great workers and some have had to be fired. And add on to that problem is that you are firing your son, daughter, grandchild, niece, or nephew so your business and family relationships are very intertwined. Half of the family won't even talk to the other half now. My (now ex) DIL has her own business, which I hope will be successful since it's her sole support now. It was one of the reasons that the marriage ended. She racked up thousands of dollars (over $20,000) of debt to start this business, and my son was left paying off this debt in the divorce settlement since he made more money working for a large business as an employee! The mediator considered that my DIL was basically unemployed since the business was not making a profit. It has left my son very bitter and feeling like she only stayed with him long enough to get her inventory and business started and then she demanded a divorce.

Hello, I live in Nashville. I would not retire here. The cost of living has risen so much that it is impossible for an average family to afford rent or buy a home. My sister moved here 8 years ago when she retired. She decided to just rent since she no longer wanted to have the responsibility of a house. Her rent for a very nice and newer 3 bedroom/2bath apartment was $575 in 2011. In 2016, when her lease was up for renewal, her landlord raised the rent to $1200! She had lived there five years already and was a good tenant, but the landlord said that he could get the $1200 in rent. We scrambled trying to find her a place to rent, but the landlord was right - rent has tripled here. She was finally able to find a place - a very small 1 bedroom (about 500 sq ft) for $500 in a 1950s style home that was turned into a duplex. Ironically, she likes it better because of the small size. Another example: My son in 2013 bought a cute 3-bed 1200 sq ft home for $94,000. That same home appraised for $204,000 a month ago! He got all excited thinking he could sell until he started shopping and realized that he could no longer afford to buy in this area! So, he's stuck where he's at. The traffic in Nashville in horrendous. Avoid the highways at all costs. We are basically turning into Atlanta! We would sell in a heartbeat and move when we retire, but I won't leave my grandkids just yet. If/when we do move, we will stay in Tennessee but move to a very rural area around the Crossville, TN area. The cost of living is still reasonable there, but you are close enough to Nashville and Knoxville. No jobs though in these areas. The upside of Tennessee is the no state income tax, but the sales tax is almost 10%. Nashville has great universities and medical hospitals. Homeschooling in Tennessee is easy as long as you are signed up with an umbrella school. I no longer homeschool, but in 2011 ran a local homeschool group. In 2012, this group shut down due to lack of interest. A mom restarted the group in 2017, and now there are 150+ families! Homeschooling has really grown in this area. We also really like the Lexington, VA area if we move out of Tennessee when we retire and the grandkids get grown.

We also had a great family vacation to Hawaii! We rented a condo in Waimanolo in Oahu. Far from the crowds but close to the beach. Our kids were 8, 9, and 16 then. This was the first vacation where we literally did not want to go home.

Hello! This is my first time to post on this wonderful site! I have been a long time lurker but now I am a retired homeschooler. I homeschooled two of my kids from K-12. I have a 28, 22, and 21 y/o and one absolutely beautiful granddaughter with gray eyes. Right now, we also have three college loans although we pay off the 28 y/o college loan this year. I am so excited to read this thread as my DH and I are going to Rome, Paris, and London in October this year for our wedding anniversary also!! We have traveled a lot through Canada and Mexico and the Caribbean and the USA but never to Europe. I have a whole folder for planning for our trip, and I really appreciate the tips and suggestions that everyone has provided. We have been wanting to do a trip like this for such a long time. It will be for our 41st wedding anniversary!! (We got married at 18 and 19 so won't tell how old we are now!) We are going on a tour group holiday for two weeks. We spent a couple of years looking at the differences in costs of a tour group vs going on our own, and we decided to go with the tour group. It is a modified travel group in that you spend four days in each city but two days are all on your own, so we can do what we want. Our very favorite vacation was to Hawaii for our 25th anniversary (Oahu and the Big Island). Our kids went with us on that trip. I hope we enjoy this vacation to Europe just as much, and I honestly am happy that we will be on our own this time. Just my DH and me. Our next bucket list vacation is a Mediterranean cruise.

Well, I have to vote no to cruising. We went on our first cruise to the Caribbean in 2010 for 7 days. We were in a comfortable cabin, beautiful ship, great food, nice people, lots of activities, but we just did not enjoy it. The reason is that we are jus too independent. We didn't like being "herded" to off-boat activities. We don't gamble or drink much, and there is an emphasis on this on the boat. We did NOT want to dress up to eat with the captain. In fact, there was so much food we were literally saying nooooo to more food! Also, on a cruise, the requests for tips were rampant. Bring lots of money for tips. The positive aspects were getting to see the islands and we did relax. However, we had taken a trip to Hawaii in 2006, and we had arranged the whole trip ourselves. We had a blast. Did what we wanted and when we wanted. We stayed in a house rented on VRBO and had a wonderful experience. We will probably not do another cruise.

This is good advice especially if it is your only sibling. If I can share my story? Very similar to yours but I am older. My parents divorced in 1976 when I was 15, and I have not seen him since. My mother was the one that stayed and made sure my sister and I were fed, educated, and loved. It hurt to be abandoned that way. I think my sister though suffered more than i did. Then our mother died of cancer in 1986, and basically I was an "orphan." Then in 2008, I get a call from out of the blue that my father had a heart attack and was not expected to live. My reaction? Like you, just no feeling. I did learn that he had remarried and raised two stepsons and had grand kids. Really? He has 7 blood grandchildren that he has never seen. Neither my sister and I went to see him. Luckily, he survived. Then I get a call from a daughter-in-law who proceeded to blast my sister and I for being so heartless. He wanted so much to see us when he thought he was dying. I live 1500 miles away; my sister lives 700 miles. It is not as if we were in the same city. I listened to this lady I never met for a while and then calmly gave her the truth. This paragon of fatherhood divorced his first wife and turned his back on his two daughters. We tried several times, my sister especially, to reestablish contact, but he wanted nothing to do with us. In the meantime though, I had sent a picture of my kids in a get well card. A few weeks after the phone call, I got a letter from my father! It was basically a hurtful attack on my mother and he wanted nothing to do with me or my sister. I sat on it a while before responding. Finally, I sent a carefully worded letter back and sent a picture of all 7 of his grand kids. I wished him well but told him that I had no more time in my life for bitterness. Again, my sister was deeply hurt by all this and we are in our late 40s. The hurt never really goes away but it becomes less acute. It took me a while to understand my father's actions. He is not a bad man, but my parents had a bad marriage. Alcohol and spousal abuse; you get the idea. He left all that behind. He literally walked away from everything and moved away and started a new life. My sister and I were a part of his life he wanted to bury and forget. He was successful and happy with his new life. I don't think he really wanted to see my sister and I though when he was dying. He just had regrets that he had kicked us out of his life and wanted to see how we turned out. Since my sister is the spitting image of my mother, I don't think he would have enjoyed seeing her. This is very long and I apologize. I don't mean to hijack your thread. Just be very patient with yourself and keep close to your sister. Good luck!

I honestly had no idea what it took to pass the GED test until my youngest niece and my sister came to live near us. My niece began homeschooling in 9th grade but then got lazy in 11th grade and never finished high school. She turned 19 last year and decided to go for her GED. It took her one year of classes 3 times weekly and then 5 times to pass the test. Seeing her go through this process made us all realize that the GED is not a simple test. If someone passes the GED, it is quite an achievement. They even did a wonderful full-blown graduation ceremony, and it was the happiest graduation we had ever attended. The valedictorian was a man in his late 30s who gave a short talk about how this had changed his life. The salutorian was a single mom in her early 20s who gave a talk about how everyone thought she was a stupid loser until she walked into the adult education center. There is a real need for the GED; however, I would encourage any teenager NOT to go that route unless absolutely necessary. It is not easy. In fact, my two boys in high school decided that high school was easier than what their cousin was going through. My niece told me that the test was getting harder to pass starting next year. I think this is a mistake. If my niece (who is quite intelligent) struggled to pass this less rigorous test, I can imagine that a harder test would not necessarily be an improvement on what they have now.

I always thought he treated Nicole Kidman so badly, and now it appears to have happened again.

I think it best to just let things go for a while and minimize contact. I think everyone is still very emotional about the whole situation. Three years ago, we left a coop for basically similar reasons. My feelings were deeply hurt by the actions of two or three people. The more I tried to talk it out, basically emailed apologies if I had hurt feelings, or just tried to stay out of people's way during coop did not make any difference. I was frozen out. It was all very high school drama, IMO. Now that my kids are in high school, we have no time for coops. I think this is actually a common occurrence with a coop that feelings get hurt. In the past two years, two local coops have failed, one for stress and one just because no one wanted to take over running it. This has also caused a lot of anger because the kids are the ones hurting. I hope you work this out but IMO just let the whole situation drop with regards to your friend. Try contacting her again in a couple months just to chat but don't mention coop. She has already said she doesn't want to talk about it.