One of my boys was like this, to the point where I was utterly completely exhausted, and is still kind of like this, but the situation has improved immensely. It started at age 2 and now he is 8 1/2 and seems to be outgrowing it.
He used to be completely contrary, would not do anything he was supposed to, even if it meant punishment, even if his twin brother was begging him to cooperate. I researched ADD, ADHD, and ODD. Sometimes I felt that if I didn't medicate him soon, i would go crazy. Friends and doctors gave me discipline advice that totally didn't work.
Life has been a great deal easier lately. I don't know what happened. I started homeschooling last spring, but I'm not sure if that's a factor. I had to homeschool because he was getting into trouble in school and I could barely get him to school. Would not get out of bed, would not brush teeth, get dressed, put on shoes, go to car, get out of car. everyday battles. I think he likes our change of schedule. No morning rush. He gets to study interesting things he likes. Or maybe he just would have outgrown it anyway. I'll never know.