Just your 2 replies made me cry and realise this is an area I need to treat myself with more respect. I was doubting myself yet my hurt was/is genuine. thankyou.

I read this the other day form this website: http://www.ravediet.com/raveintro.html "We live in a strange world when it comes to weight loss. Imagine if you will, someone who’s overweight giving advice on how to lose weight. Sounds ridiculous, right? Yet, what we have today are a bunch of fat doctors telling people how to lose weight. In fact, the most successful Diet Doctors seem to be the most overweight. In the year 2000, long before the controversy about his weight after his death, Dr. Atkins exceeded federal guidelines for being overweight. One doctor, who saw him many times over the decades, estimated he was 40 to 60 pounds overweight.1 Barry Sears, Ph.D., author of the hugely popular Zone diet, was also overweight in the year 2000. Sears even states he’s overweight in his own book! 2 Yet despite this admission, millions of copies have been sold. Am I missing something? How can people who want to lose weight follow the advice of someone who proclaims, in his own book, that he’s overweight? Perhaps the answer lies in some of the statements Sears makes, such as “You can burn more fat watching TV than by exercisingâ€3 and “About one-third of Americans are … suffering from protein malnutrition.â€4 The last statement5 is like saying Americans are suffering from fat malnutrition. As a matter of fact, the average American eats enough protein to fuel a champion weight lifter. (See Notes – Protein.) But burning fat while watching TV and getting too little protein are the things Americans love to hear because it justifies eating the very diet that has made us the fattest nation on the planet. "

I seem to get very hurt easily over food issues in my home and i really need to see if I am being treated ...perhaps not quite kindly....or if I am really over sensitive here. This evening I made a green smoothie for us all while I was making dinner. Same ingredients as the other day....a little apple juice because we dont have much fruit in the house right now, frozen blueberries, baby spinach and water. Tastes great to me and both teenagers drink it happily (and one is very fussy). Dh however says "that smells off, sorry, I cant drink it.". I said "what smells off about it? " He didnt know. Just smelled off to him. It was all fresh ingredients, definitely nothing off. So I said, "would you prefer I not make you green smoothies any more?" and he didn't answer. IN the past he wanted them. He just repeated that he couldn't drink it. This sort of thing happens a lot. When it happens with the teenagers, I can handle it much better. When it happens with dh...I don't handle it well at all. I felt hurt. He didn't want me to be hurt...but I get hurt anyway. I dont know what it is, really. I guess I don't feel appreciated..but its also somehow that I don't feel respected either. Would you feel hurt? Would you handle it well? I don't really understand why this issue- and it happens around food a lot- a lot of rejection and complaints, even though I try hard- affects me so much. It feels like it cuts me to the quick every time it happens.

Well, "opinionated" has a rather negative connotation. Perhaps we are more likely to be "independent thinkers" especially in regard to education? The "normal" way of thinking about education is extremely institutionalised and I find actually that most people are very opinionated about it without realising that they are just regurgitating what they are taught- rather than having thought about it much. Was Gallileo "opinionated"? No, he was right! :) Everyone has opinions. Since ours are different from the majority in the area of education- since we have to be fairly strong characters to take our kids of "the system" in the first place and stand up to relatives and various other people who might see us as bad parents when we are only doing what we reallyl feel is right....I guess we could come across as "opinionated". But heck, I dont shove my "opinion" down other people's throats regarding homeschooling unless they are genuinely interested- yet it seems many people feel quite willing to express their completely unconsidered, uneducated but strong opinions about it to homeschoolers. Most people are sheeple. If you stand up for your child, especially in a system where we are taught to obey and trust authority and keep the peace....we might be labelled. I don't care. And i wont label myself like that- thats how they try to get you to tow the line, to get back in your box, to undermine your self confdence.

Yes, really I think that is my favourite go to book about what and how to eat right now. The mass of information out there is incredible- so much of it conflicting, badly researched, some of it making its authors very rich. What I have found is that on the internet, people take information they find somewhere else that sounds authoritative and they just take it as fact and it spreads all over the place (such as soy is evil)- but no one is really checking the sources, the studies, for themselves, or trying the approaches for long enough. If they lose a few pounds in a few months they say it works...but I prefer to look at whether an approach is sustainable and healthy over a lifetime and I dont think most are. The way I handle that is to read widely and follow my interests. So for the last year I have had an interest in raw foods- and I believe that is really a cutting edge of nutritional research right now (in a very alive sense rather than clinical sense). I was into the whole Nourishing Traditions thing before that- which I now see big holes in but still think it has some good concepts and I love playing with fermented foods. I recently read The China Study and that is fascinating and even had my dh give up a lot of his dairy and lose some weight- just form me sharing some of the information with him. But a lot of the information is conflicting even in the best works- I do think Food Rules is the best, simplest, life long ,common sense healthy approach to eating. The author has been researching this stuff for a long time now. But if you want to keep reading, you can read- Michael Pollan's other books, (which I havent read but will get around to one day), The China Study by Colin and Thomas Campbell, Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, and The Sunfood Diet Success System by David Wolfe. These books all have conflicting information but I think all also have valuable information. I like to go online and find conflicting reviews after reading a book. But I dont mind holding all the conflicting information in my head and just letting it conflict :) If you just want one approach- my favourite is Food Rules.

I agree with Melanie- no sugar, and probiotics. However, if its really an issue, I really recommend the strict candida diet for a while. (you can google that). Around here though dh is a sugar addict and if he gets a flare up of something like candida he just backs right off on his rather excessive sugar intake for a while and it usually does the trick (enough for him to be happy). So if your dh is addicted to soda or something obvious like that- lots of coffee with sugar, bread, whatever, even fruit- just cutting that out may be enough to bring his system into balance. In other words- first, stop doing what is causing the problem in the first place (or in his case, feeding the problem). If thats not enough..well, the system needs more help and a more thorough protocol for a while.

Makes me feel awful.

My chiro doesnt do that. In fact I went to him last week, he told me to come back in a couple of days, then he said to me "its not good to keep using chiropractic for this issue- you need to walk more and don't sit so long, take better care of yourself". He knows I have scoliosis and need to take care of my back. When I went to him with a bad issue a year ago, I had to come back a fair few times- and my daughter did too for some issues- but he never asked for a payment plan. I wouldn't do it, personally. I wouldn't use a chiropractor that asked me to commit to a payment plan 6 months ahead, because I would want to try and see if what we was doing alleviated my symptoms before making such a big commitment. Also...i had a VERY severe acute neck issue when I went to this chiro first...and it did NOT take anything like 6 months to fix. I wouldn't say it's shonky...I would say its probably great business practice. And if you can afford it, why not. But I am very careful about handing over money or making long term commitments like that, so I would go to a different chiropractor. But I am fussy. I also chose the chiro I did because he DIDNT automatically take xrays. I have had way too many xrays already in my life and it costs hundreds of $ to get them done for a chiro to look at them for 5 seconds, then do the same treatment he does every time anyway! But thats not for everyone. You are the customer. Ask for what you want.

I LOVE baths. Ever since when I was a kid my mother used to have deep baths with Avon's Skin So Soft bath oil in it. And then she would call me and my brother to come and have a bath after she got out. Just LOVED that smell and the deep bath and have loved baths ever since! Something about immersing myself in water (and maybe mummy energy? :) ) . This house the bath is marble and rectangular- I cant get comfortable. But I still have one now and then. But we have a therapeutic spa out in the garden that we have on a timer to get heated up morning and evening, so dh and I have a hot spa twice a day most days. That satisfies my love of baths mostly (although I love to add essential oils to my baths and I cant do that with a spa). Baths also really warm me through thoroughly when I get cold to the bone in winter.

I agree that it tends to even out by the end, however if you need to transition before that, it can be more tricky. It was always a dilemma to me, because I wanted to use U.S. programs, or programs recommended by TWTM, but I also knew I couldnt guarantee that my kids would homeschool all the way through and i didn't want to disadvantage them. So Maths is one area I looked for the best Australian programs I could find- and there are plenty, IMO. I used Singapore up until 6 for one an 5 for the other, too. As Rosie says, they tend to spiral here and go over the same things at a deeper level each year. I don't really have a problem with that, and Australians do pretty well at maths internationally, so I used local programs. I think I would do the same again- we did change to MATH U SEE for my son for Pre Algebra because I felt it covered a wide enough range of topics and i was trying to find a program that supported him well. He is about to go to highschool for the first time, so we will see how appropriate my approach was- although he has never been a brilliant maths student. I know people who just use Saxon here, though, and it hasn't been a problem because they have never gone to school.

I am hopeless just before my period- it doesn't matter what diet I am on or how great I have been eating all month.for a couple of days there, I will eat anything I want, if its around. I have no self discipline at all. Chocolate and corn chips are two of my worst indulgences. So for me the key is to make sure its not around, and to make sure I am eating proper meals so I am not actually hungry. But then, I often don't feel like making meals then, which doesn't help, because if I let myself get hungry AND its that time of the month...I have no boundaries whatsoever. And then the next step is to make sure if I am going to eat it anyway that it is the BEST quality chocolate or corn chips I can find. So rather than buckle and buy a full bar of some family chocolate- I will make my own raw chocolate. Or, what i have done lately, is make a healthy raw chocolate pudding (which really wouldnt cut it for most people but sometimes is enough to satisfy the chocolate cravings for me). In other words I guess I am minimising the damage. Not that I think chocolate is bad for you- I don't- its all the other stuff they add to it. Why not consciously PLAN for those times when you are going to lose your ability to do anything but make it from one minute to the next? Plan what you can eat ahead of time, write it down or store it somewhere so you can remember when the pain hits and you cant think of anything but trying to escape. So you have something to fall back on. Would that help?

Well, at least it rains in NZ :) Here in south east W.A. we always celebrate the rain. We barely get enough. I woke to gentle rain this morning and it was beautiful. Its not so normal to get much rain in summer here. However, I am wary of what we wish for now, considering what happened on the east coast. :) TC rarely reach here either. Its kind of exciting ( I love the weather).

Not directly. However, dh, while not exactly a gentleman in the traditional sense (not a door opening kinda man), provides an example of male leadership and care that our son has naturally absorbed. I have heard ds say to his friends things like "guys pay for girls, right?" in regards to taking their girlfriends out. I am quite surprised sometimes by this because ds is not the most generous person at home, yet to his girlfriend he is very kind and generous, and they have been together for several months. And I myself come from a feminist background- my mother earned a higher wage than my father (which probably contributed to their marriage break up) so it never occurred to me that men "should" support their wives completely, yet that is what my dh does. And I am glad for that model for my ds. My dh is quite old fashioned in some ways, but not really a gentleman. Can be gentle, but its not his normal modus operendi!

Mine are a little over 17 months apart. It really is great, but those first years are just intense. Even so, at least you are not so far out of baby mode! I really cant remember much else than what you are doing. Its kinds of all a blur now :) Accept help when it is offered. I think we hired a housecleaner for a few months at once stage, as well as got a nappy service just for the first few weeks. It is a season, and it will pass all too quickly. Enjoy !

Hi Negin, I want to blog too- I have started a couple...even started another one recently..and then I seem to run out of steam. Not sure why. I really like the idea of a blog. And i have time to devote to one. I think I just dont have a clear theme or something. I enjoy my SIL's blog where she just puts up photos of her family and keeps extended family in touch- since I rarely see my brother and his kids, its nice. But I feel somehow..I dont know. I don't have the energy to do that. I want to do something different. Not sure what. SO yes- I fall into the category of someone who has started blogs but not really maintained them. And i am not even sure why.

I asked dh. He said "I cant answer that". Then I said, well, just say something. He sat there. His eyes glazed over. Then he got up and walked off. I said to his back "cant you say something?" and he said " I will think of something." I will keep you posted! I am sure its a guy thing. He tells me how great I am regularly. But when put on the spot, he went blank. :lol: ETA: He just came back in and asked me what the question was again (its at least half an hour later now). I read it to him. And the same thing happened. His brain fried and he laughed and said- I cant answer that- and walked off again. He really does love me :) Its just that...his brain doesn't work like that. Apparently :)

Lol, I cant believe this thread is still going and still on topic!. I was suspicious when I first read it. I mean, who actually buys rags online anyway? Or diapers to use as rags? FOr a church? Wouldnt a church have enough members to contribute stuff as rags? Thats just weird but I guess it wouldn't bother me- no way would I feel comfortable sending my old undies to anyone, though. And I am not so easily weirded out.

I see lots of people take some sort of sedation. I think thats what i will do next time- take some sedation before I go (and I dont take that stuff lightly- but will make an exception!). I think what shocked me more is that at 43, I didnt really have a fear of dentists. I hadnt really had a bad experience- till now. But now that i have...wow, it changes my feelings about going again!

I think you place way too much faith in me, Negin :) Really! But I do have an opinion on this one :) Fruit is a food that digests very quickly. It will leave your stomach in 15 minutes if eaten alone. I am talking stomach- not intestines. Meat and other heavier foods can be in there for an hour or more. So it makes sense that fruit eaten with meat, for example, will be "held up" in its fast transition through the stomach. During that time when it is in the stomach along with the other foods, its hard to say what happens exactly..and I think it does vary from person to person. I am not sure "ferments" is quite the correct word, but it may perhaps begin the process of fermentation- and in that case, the sweeter the fruit, the more likely that would happen. And the food that is eaten with it, will also matter. Many many people find that eating fruit with meals gives them indigestion. I do think there is something significant to it. However...many people have poor digestion, too. ANd many peopel so take their poor digestion for granted that they are not really aware of how what they are eating is affecting them. SO they may not realise its the fruit. There is a whole study- you could call it a science- of food combining. Melons are the worst for causing digestive issues when eaten with anything else, and so should always be eaten alone, or 15 minutes before anything else (within 15 minutes they will be out of the stomach. Most other fruit can be eaten with leafy greens- but not starchy vegetables or protein. So fruit with a salad is usually ok. Starches and proteins should not be eaten together- so there goes your typical meat and potatoes meal. Having said all that- some people have cast iron stomachs and I tend to be one of them. I have been doing the No S diet for a good 3 weeks or so now and it really went against my grain to eat my fruit at the end of my meal rather than between meals. However, I wanted to give it a try (partly because I love to experiment with myself) and the truth is, the only fruit I have found in the last 3 weeks of eating summer fruits, that gives me gas if I eat it with other foods, is grapes, which is the sweetest fruit I eat. So I think that that is too much sugar somehow. But the rest seem fine. The email I saw actually said eating fruit with meals gives you cancer. That is just nonsense- however, I would say that not paying attention to what you eat, including what affects your particular system, might contribute to cancer. Many people are way out of touch with themselves. The French eat fruit with cheese. Thats a classic no no as far as food combining goes, but if a culture does it traditionally, I take notice, because traditions dont survive generations without having something to them. They may just have strong digestion. SO...its one of those things...many people's digestion is definitely sub par and they should really take better care of themselves and trying the whoel food combining thing can really help- such as eating fruit between meals . Especially don't eat melons with meals.Try it and see. Its not religion. I think a really healthy digestive system can handle a lot of things that a not healthy one cant. Mine seems to. But its worth a try if you have any digestive issues at all.

Yes, just when I was thinking how lucky we were in Perth not be having catastrophic weather like they have had up north and over east. We don't *normally* have cyclones here, by the way.

It would really depend on how motivated I was. I could probably do it in a year if I had to (just by saving very strictly). I could do it in less if I really had to i.e. get a part time job or sell stuff. On my present saving rate, with no extra efforts, 2 or so years.

You know, as a mum of "only" 2 kids, who didnt start homeschooling till they were 7 and 9 years old.....even though my younger was a very high needs child and I had to sit next to him most of the day till he was 12 or so......I still had a fair amount of free time. Way too much free time, really...so I came here, got organised, researched etc. For years. And I had time to clean house too. The thing these threads bring up for me is......if you have younger kids, of course you are going to be more tied up with the day to day activities of younger kids..it will pass, but for now, this is the season you are in. Dont be envious of those with more time on their hands....one day, that will be you too. People dont write what they are doing just to annoy you. For many of us it has been beneficial to see how organised some people can be. Dont take it as a personal slight, for goodness sakes. You dont know whats going on in their homes at all. They may be locked in their bedrooms making spreadsheets while the house falls apart around them. That may be one area of control they have in a chaotic home. Or their house may be spotless but they cant stand everyone piling in their beds for a cuddle and readaloud. YOu dont know. And if you have 6 kids....what did you think? Having 6 would be as easy as having 2? I don't understand that one at all. If you have many kids, you will have more work on your hands, a wider age range, more people to tend to, more housework, more to cook for, more appointments to attend....it didnt just happen by itself. You chose to have 6 kids, didnt you? I guess thats not a politically correct thing to say on a Christian message board, but still....I am often surprised. Some people have 10 kids and are very organised and disciplined and others with 3 or 4 can barely manage. I know poeple on these boards who have many more than 6 kids and i never see them complaining about the sorts of things people complain about with far less kids. I think it pays to give grace to other families who are organised, disciplined and whose kids are doing well. It doesn't just happen by itself...they worked at it. And I believe for many, it happened because they were motivated by something...they probably started out chaotic and disorganised too. I certainly did. But the homeschooling journey exposed me to so many great things....parenting methods, homeschooling methods, organisational methods...that over the years I learned from those who went before me, and I grew, got organised and at the same time- my kids got older, which is kind of intevitable! Its ok to be where you are at...and its great to come here for support when you are feeling a mess.....but one of the best things I read over the years here was mums saying "homeschooling is my work, my job, and I treat it as such- I don't take days off lightly" and "your kids need an education- give them one, or they should be at school". Its controversial, but I tend to agree with it. I remember one mum who came here looking for support for not educating her kids for many months- and the response was tough with some mums telling her straight that they felt her kids would be better off in school. It sounds tough, and we all need a soft approach at times, but there is a time for toughness too. Spreadsheets are not a sign of a good education, but don't be envious of those who are successful and together. Instead, learn from them.

I recommend Flylady for getting a handle on your lifestyle issues- clutter, procrastination etc I could not homeschool in too much clutter either. Your littlies will be ok, but you need to feel you are going in the right direction, that you are going to get a handle on it, and right now it seems you are not- you are drowning. Homeschooling really is work- a full time job, and it needs to be treated as such. Its hard work and it takes discipline. But you have to discipline yourself first. I found Flylady first- otherwise I could never have homeschooled- I was too chaotic and undisciplined. Flylady gave me both the compassion to reailse I didnt have to do it all at once, and that I wasn't alone- and the kick up the butt I needed. flylady.net ETA: To get jump started in the mornings- I get up before my kids and take care of myself first (a walk, cup to tea while checking email, meditation)- then I wake them up at 7am and supervise them. By 8.30 we started school, and we finished by early afternoon. Then I would have a rest in my room and get some more alone time. I set up routines but the most important was starting the day right- I am a morning person and i HAD to get school done in the morning, which meant waking the kids up, which meant making sure they went to bed early enough to get enough sleep. Others are fine to work in the afternoons so they do it differently. FInd what works for you.

I used to bribe my son at that age. He had to do his work (very short lessons and minimal work- very reluctant writer) then I would take him up and buy him something at the shops- a treat. ANother common bribe was to go and kick a soccer ball with him in the park. It was hard for him. He was traumatised by school already (he started homeschooling at 7). He hated doing schoolwork. I kept it minimal and I also did a lot through read alouds, which he liked. Didn't even SWB talk about giving jellybeans or smarties for work finished? I am not even into sugar but I appreciated her approach- to keep it light and fun, to reward. Kids that age do not have the ability to think long term- they are very much in the moment. I also had him do things like recite his times tables while jumping on a trampoline. I think boys need extra tenderness, along with the firmness.

My mother has had fibro and various other conditions- which I think are all related- for over 20 years. She has tried all the medical suggestions and is so frustrated with the medical system- she was sent from one specialist to another and they all had their area of supposed expertise- giving her a specific medication for a specific symptoms- but nobody had a clue about treating her as a whole person. She has tried many natural therapies over the years, with various levels of success. At the moment she has found a brilliant naturopath who is taking her off (along with a good doctor) the way too many medications various specialists had put her on- which all had their own side effects. She is feeling better just from what she is NOT on any more (she sometimes gets so bad she has to go on steroids, which are very hard to get off but the side effects are bad). Anyway....what I suggest is that you get on the internet and do the research yourself and become your own expert. Try things. Read, a lot. The truth is that doctors do not know how to treat fibromyalgia- there is no known cure- they can only throw things at the symptoms- but whenever you get given a medication- do the research yourself- look up the side effects. Diet, herbs, massage, everything others have suggested- various things work for various people. There is no one approach that works. And what works for a while may not work always. I have been doing a lot of research on raw food diets in the last year and that is one area I suggest you have a look at. There are many success stories- from arthritis to cancer, and definitely fibromyalgia, that a raw food approach has completely cured. But that is pretty radical for most people- but I just put it out there for your own research.