You will get very different opinions from mine, but I feel that 7 hours of work at that age is too much already, so I wouldn't be adding in homework. My 14yo dd does about 4-5 hours work and reads in the evenings (plus does many extra curricula activities and household chores and also some paid work). Sometimes she doesn't finish her work in time...lately it has happened a couple of times.....but homework becomes a drag because that's family time, that's reading in bed time, that's watching a tv series together time. I like to make sure our lives are balanced and I feel homework is a scourge that interferes badly with family and relaxation time, and just because schools do it, doesn't mean I want to being that particular toxin into my family. I don't plan for homework. It only happens if a) a child is being particularly slow or unfocused b) I have misjudged how long something is going to take and don't want to back down c) something interferes with our normal schedule. I don't subscribe to the idea that because they will have to do something in college they should be doing it now. I would rather they are children while they are children and adults when that time comes.

My first thought is Scouts- it is so good for leadership, and community service. But I know you may not have access to that. Ithink here in Australia there is a correspondence Scouts for isolated kids though. My second thought is...if you cant, you cant. And it's ok. You provide so many things for your children, in terms of a work ethic, a farm life, that us city folk cant possibly give our children in the same way. No one can do it all. We only have them for 20 years or so. They still have the rest of their lives to learn.

I am watching the whole boy/girl thing closely because my son is 12 and my daughter is 14. For me it would depend entirely on the whole situation, our relationship to the other parents etc. I could say, oh, I would never allow my children at this age to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but I am not going to say that, because if they came home and told me they did- someone at Scouts or whatever- I would work with it, not go against it. I might well try and discourage it, but I doubt I would just say "no". In my reality, in my situation, no, I probably wouldn't allow them to spend the whole day together at the other parent's house unless I knew the other parent was completely freaked out and over protective as I am. Probably have to be another homeschooler, because it seems pretty common for schooled kids to have boyfriend/girlfriends at that age. I would chaperone. I would invite the other child to my own place.I might allow them to go to a movie. No, I wouldn't allow a holiday together. I know what i was like as a teenager. But, I couldnt possibly say what someone esle should do...I am on the overprotective side, but everyone knows their own child best. its an area that is going to be different for each family. I can also imagine a rare situation where a boy and girl have been friends for years and obviously have a deep bond....I could see that being different to the normal scenario. I am sooooooo glad even my 14yo dd is not there yet.

I wish we would outgrow the whole eye for an eye thing. I can't understand, myself, how a supposedly Christian culture can actually support the killing of anyone as punishment. Kind of goes completely against what Jesus taught, surely. Sure I support putting people away from society, for life even, to protect the innocent, but killing them just seems absolutely barbarious. But then again, so do many things. We think we are civilized, but we are not.

I think I would find it hard to do from the book, but my son practices at home every school morning and truly the exercises are quite simple and could be learned form a book. We will continue to do them long after we finish our sessions with the kinesiologist. I think its the sort of thing that wont work for every child but for the ones it will work for, it can be very, very good.

I am not sure. Brain Gym is part of Educational Kinesiology.

Raw sweet potato is incredibly sweet.

I am happy with my progress. Shiny sink. I haven't done much extra today, but I am treading water, not drowning in my mess, and I got my son to do his washing today which is just as good as doing my own! I have had a headache all day, which is unusual for me, so I am being kind to myself and not pushing myself much. I have been dressed to shoes all day. I had a walk. I was always sporadic with the shoe thing. We kind of have a shoe free house, but I am not strict about it. I have worn shoes all day and I do think it helps give me energy. Its winter too and we have marble floors. Shoes keep my feet warm.

The knot in your lower back and the pain shooting down your leg suggest to me than some spinal adjustment might do you some good. I would go see a chiropractor- they can help with more than just back issues. They will deal with you as a whole person.

Well, "I" have quiet time after lunch and it doesn't much bother me whether the kids read or continue with schoolwork, as long as they give me some space from them. I usually read then nap and they are good about not bothering me. I draw my curtains so my room is very dark, and they can see under the door whether I am available or not. I growl when disturbed for minor reasons! I wouldn't allow electronics. They have a schedule to do, and often they finish soon after lunch anyway, except for reading. The older appreciates the quiet time to finish her work, if she hasn't finished it already.

I dont normally visit this board...but ds12 was diagnosed with dyslexia in January. I sohuld have had him seen before but for some reason was in some denial! It was helpful for him to be labelled. he realises now he is not stupid. it broke my heart to hear him say it. But what I want to share is that I decided to try Brain Gym with him, with a kinesiologist. I was very skeptical, and it is very expensive. I was going to give it about 3 weeks trial. But every session, he came out such a different kid to the one who walked into the session (I stay with him) I have always said "just one more week". This woman has worked wonders with my son. He has gone from barely being able to type half a page assignments to regularly typing 2 page ones, since February. He is happier, and feels more mature, more grown up, better able to handle his emotions, more confident in his abilities. He is still going- 2 more sessions then he will finish. I know it can be a hit or miss thing, brain gym, but I just wanted to share a success story.

I am so glad I popped over to this board and read this thread. My ds12, dyslexic, is the same. Capitalizes in the middle of sentences, particularly the letter P, and often forgets at the beginning, and for proper nouns. The thing is, he doesn't do it when he does dictation, because he is concentrating on things like that. He does it when he is writing a sentence for grammar or some other subject where he is not focusing on the punctuation so much. He just cant do it all! I don't know what to do but be patient and keep reminding him.

I hadn't thought about it before, but this is why I like having my very own kids to read aloud to. We literally just finished Theseus, the same edition as the OP. It was our first Plutarch story. I could not have read that to myself, I would have died of boredom and fallen asleep within minutes! But reading it aloud to my kids over 9 weeks was fine, they never complained once, we all got something out of it...still pretty dry but we had some good converations over it. On the Ambleside website it says (something like) not to worry too much about the names and places and just keep going with the flow of it. I did that, and I was surprised how much the kids actually understood what was going on. They have good narrations. (Maybe better than I could have!). That's why I love homeschooling. I get exposed to things I would never normally push myself to read. We are going to do a Roman life next term.

I never read everything here anymore. I like the new format because I actually spend less time here and am more selective about the threads I read and respond to. I find it a less "addictive" format...or maybe I just changed while I was having a board break. However, I am on a heap of CM Yahoo groups nowadays so I am getting more emails than I used to. Apart from all that, I am reading a lot more books than I used to. I am prereading the kids CM books and loving them.

I don't mind using the medical terminology at all, and we do, but I dont mind using euphemisms either and they are not derogatory. We often call a penis a 'willy',sometimes even a "dick", and we call a vagina a 'fanny'. For breasts we have always used "titties" or "tiddies" because I breastfed long after the kids could talk and that's what they called them! They feel like friendly, affectionate words rather than clinical. I don't know if the words we used would be "ruder" in the U.S.- slang words can change cross culturally- but here they are not really rude words. Neither is "pussy" for a vagina, which some people use. The "c" word however is a much cruder and harder word and I don't like it.

We have only started formal nature study recently and we just make the time to go for a walk, take cameras and sketch books, and have fun. There was a bush fire near us a couple of months ago and we went last week to see the regrowth (Australia here, the bush loves fires! Fire is needed for many plants seeds to germinate), and we ended up spending 2 hours for our 30 minute nature walk. Just the act of getting out with the intention of noticing our surroundings- whether we draw or photograph or not- feels like a great thing to do, and we always see something of interest...usually many things. The fact we do this during school time, for my kids, who are older, is a thrill for them. I think the act of noticing and commenting on the surroundings in a way that is more focused than normal, is more the point, that drawing, myself, so drawing and taking photos are the icing on the cake here, and if we don't get to them, I don't feel the walk has been a waste. Just noticing the seasonal changes...for us, the winter rain brings wildflowers and it's such a buzz to take the time to just go and see what flower is out this week. I will have wonderful memories of this time in the bush with my kids, since we live in suburbia, and I am glad to be carving out the time in our busy week to do this with them.

Um, not true. Plenty of good secular texts out there for the homeschooling market. Story of the World can be used by most secular folk, as can many other approaches that are not me-centred ( I do know what you mean by that approach to history). Singapore maths and science products are excellent. Secular does mean evolution to most people though, but that is a separate issue to early logical thinking- Singapore does do that, but in a gentle way. Sorry, your post just seemed quite prejudiced to me, but perhaps you haven't really looked at secular homeschooling material before and equate it only with poor quality public school curricula and approaches, but that is not a valid association.

I read a book recently called Sleep, Sugar and Survival and it convinced me we probably need (as humans) more sleep than we think, particularly in winter. Lots of research to back it up. So, its winter here, and I am trying to get more sleep than the 8 or so hours I am used to and which I thought were adequate. I feel so much better! I didn't realise. I am often skipping my afternoon nap now because I just don't feel tired, if I can get at least 9 hours sleep. I am going for 9.5 though! Hard when I have a good book to read though, and cant bring myself to turn out the light.

Wow that sounds so beautiful. (OP) I live in suburbia, wealthy, riverside suburbia,(we are not wealthy, we just like living here) where neighbors generally don't talk to each other. We do know our neighbours a little- enough to wave every now and then, and an occasional conversation. There is hostility with two neighours unfortunately. However the good aspect is that it is a quiet street, quiet enough for the kids to play cricket on, lots of nature walks nearby, and lots of kids. It makes the world of difference for my son to have have kids on the street to play with after school.

I don't require my kids to read books they really dislike, but if I think they are important, I will read them aloud. They have books assigned each day to read, usually about a chapter a day from each, but if a book comes up that they really dislike, I will shift it over to the read aloud pile. My kids are 12 and 14. I don't personally feel that 12 is too loud to be read aloud to and I read aloud to my kids every day, mainly books that are a bit more difficult. Also, it makes great bonding time. Have you read the books? Sometimes when I read the books myself I understand why they don't like them. But if she is just being difficult, I think all the other suggestions are valid.

I am on a roll and feel like I am clicking back into my better housekeeping self- I knew it was in here somewhere. I have kept the sink shiny (and dh noticed) and caught up on washing all the way through to putting in drawers. I have tidied a bookshelf I have been meaning to tidy for weeks. I have washed the kitchen floors (last time was I dont like to remember when, well, I cant remember when, it was so long ago). Thanks for starting this...I was teetering on the edge and now I am back on the Flylady bandwagon. I love that I dont have to do it all today.

Well, here are some of my favourite ideas: Routine and order- lack of routine and order makes everyone load and noisy around here, and things are much more likely to get on my nerves, and then I am less likely to handle things well and consistently. Consistency- it is essential to mean what you say and follow through, every time. Never make idle threats. Often, you only have to get up and follow through once or twice to get the message across that mum means business, every time. Make the punishment fit the crime- I am very much in favour of immediate consequences rather than delayed ones. I never deny my kids outings, or things in the future, or punish them for long periods of time. I would rather an immediate, severe punishment than a mild, drawn out one. (Unless it's something like weeding :)). I want to "make up" with my kids as soon as possible, and I want them to be able to let go of things quickly. I cant stand hardening my heart against them so that I can implement a drawn out punishment. It hurts my heart and it has never been necessary. By this I mean things like keeping a child home from favourite outings for weeks in teh future because in a moment of anger you told them you would, or even staying in their room all day, or take away a favourite toy or game. I can't do it. I would rather give them a hard chore, or fine them, or spank them, or have a full on yell and get it over with. When the consequence has been given and the child is remorseful (if the child feels no remorse and is still angry, reconsider the consequences you give), make sure you reconnect and completely forgive the child and let go of the past, and any leftover resentment. Let them know they are completely loved, in this new moment. I think that's an area some mums find hard...they get run down and feel an ongoing underlying resentment and never get to a completely fresh feeling of forgiveness and love with their difficult kids, and then it becomes a downwards spiral because the kids don't feel quite accepted, loved and forgiven, ever. Make sure you have fun with the kids often so you are not just the mean, strict or nagging mum. Maybe they need to wrestle with YOU, or have a tickle or a walk together to burn up some energy. I dont try and lecture my kids when they are being badly behaved. I save the morality and the advice and the explaining for when I am not upset, and they are not all worked up. I don't see much point in trying to teach them to be kind to each other when they are being mean- because they really don't care at that moment. I try and teach it at other times and just tell them off or give consequences when they are mean. Don't sweat the small stuff. I don't try and interfere with every argument my kids have with each other. Thats not always going to be appropriate for everyone's situation, but my two just bicker at times and i am not going to try and adjudicate. Sometimes i help them talk through it, but often one or the other is too emotional to rationalise with, and it just needs to be waited out. If my kids get too noisy for me and my nerves are ragged, I leave the room or insist they leave the room. When my smart mouthed son goes too far, I tell him, and if continues to do it, I give a consequence. Mostly, he knows when he can get away with it and when it steps over the line, but I have to keep drawing a line. Personally i think thats an important thing.....I want my kids to know when it's appropriate to be "smart". I have a very strict husband who always backs me up (well, usually). And our kids are not badly behaved, but still, I think most families have these issues and it is possible to work with them. I dont want to give the imporession I have it al under control though...my kids certainly bug me at times and I have been known to lose my temper :001_smile:. Pulling them into line BEFORE I get to that point is my ideal :)

Family of 4. Everyone now does their own washing, about a load each a week, really, because the kids arent so good about doing theirs every week until they have run out of clothes, then they need to do 3 loads. So its a bit erratic. We don't change the sheets weekly, or even the towels, I just tend to rotate and do them on beautiful sunny days, but not everyone at once. Ideally, we do a load a day (or, at least someone does a load each day), but when I do that, I usually run out of things to wash, so it's definitely less than 7 loads a week total. Probably more like 4-5.

:iagree: I don't have an Aspie kid but I do have a LD kid with many of the same, perfectionist tendencies, and I learned the above lesson too. Actually I don't mind continually tweaking my program to match my child, however I try to do one term of each new approach before changing, because if I change because of his whining, he feels he has worn me down, and I felt continually worn down. I learned I had to win and make him do it, and change the program as an apparently independent decision nothing to do with him, at another time. Have you asked your son what he wants? Since he is so strong on his opinions and preferences, perhaps you can sit him down and tell him a lot of money is at stake here, and talk it through with him. Show him the program samples online. Negotiate up to a point beforehand, then hold him to it once you have come to an agreement. Usually when I have made the effort to do that with my kids, and I actually don't like to do it much because *I* like making the decisions :001_smile:, I get more cooperation, and I save heaps of money.

I have a now 12yo LD son who has only recently been diagnosed with dyslexia. The woman who tested him was amazed at how well he could read and spell, for someone who has distinct signs of moderate to severe dysexia and she put it down to homeschooling and told me no school could do what I had done with him, and just to keep going (in other words she didn't want to design a program for him since he had come so far with what I was doing anyway). I have struggled no end with this child, mainly with his self esteem, and just getting him to be willing to try to do something new has been a major achievement, he was so afraid of failing- he has a very capable sister only 17 months older. His strong point is now his reading which helps him feel a bit better about himself. I have really only bumbled my way through though, with TWTM as my foundation or sometimes just inspiration for the last 5 years- much of it has been "too much" for him. When we used Rod and Staff English, we did most of it orally, and used only the worksheets for written work. I then moved on to programs with much less writing- programs where he just needs to mark up sentences work better than ones where he needs to rewrite them. For Latin and French, we do most orally. Much more is covered orally than I would have preferred, or needed to do with my other child, but it allows us to cover more material. We have done LOTS of copywork and dictation and we have continued to do that right up to the present and will probably continue through highschool. Apparently dyslexic kids cant visualise very well if at all....after listening to your (Susan's) tape of writing over and over, I just got the message that this inner visualisation of words is vital, so I kept working at it with him, not even knowing he was dyslexic, just intuitively feeling this is what he needs, and I think that has been a key for him. We have used Spelling Power (for a long time, we did it orally, then with Scrabble tiles). Spelling workbooks were a waste of time and he really doesn't handle any type of workbook, which makes many of WTM recommendations not workable for him. It was when he started taking an interest in spelling correctly that his spelling improved, and I also think its part of his high reading ability. His vocabulary is fantastic. Programs like Writing Strands don't work for him because he has to think too much about content. Imitative writing programs have worked wonders- so CW Aesop was fantastic,( Homer got too much) but also just having him rewrite something in his own words has been great. Then we work on the grammar, spelling etc. Typing has been essential for getting the quality and quantity of his writing up and just this year he has gone from being able to write half a page to one and a half pages- so, a big leap. He taught himself to type. Oral narrations have been fantastic as a stepping stone but we still do them and don't write for every subject every week. "Freewriting" has been a great way to get him to feel less inhibited about writing in general, particularly creative writing or writing about something from his own experience. He loves fantasy fiction and freewriting has helped him write some great stories and helped his self esteem about his writing. He enjoys creative writing, sometimes. Outlining has been a surprising success because he likes the minimalist concept! All in all, I think your foundational suggestions for writing have been great- copywork, dictation and narration (outlining has never been an issue for some reason)...but we continue to do all three, with oral and written narrations continuing. And we will continue to do them as long as I feel he is benefiting. His oral skills are excellent and in seems like a good idea to strengthen what is one of his strengths, particularly if he is always going to be weak in written skills. I have found it is better for me to translate/filter writing exercises for him rather than try to get him to follow instructions. This last month he has worked on writing a 5 paragraph essay- but I have broken it down for him and explained it to him. He couldn't have done it from reading instructions at this stage but he responded well to my "teaching". With maths, translating word problems is an issue, as he tends to only "guess" what they are asking him to do, so helping him break them down into parts, even using a highlighter, has helped him. Logic programs- I thought they were ridiculously easy, so did dd, but not for him. Very difficult. And lots, and lots, of one on one attention. There seemed little point in having him work alone, if he was only going to get it wrong or do it badly and then feel bad about himself, even if I knew he was capable. Helping him to focus and take his time, take the stress off, feel he was supported, and also having me "teach" him rather than learn things from the books, have all been important. It has frustrated me no end. Having a diagnosis has made me more patient and understanding. Now he is 12, he is working much more independently but still needs lots of hand holding, whereas his sister worked independently at that age. Your advice about writing a bit each day, which we also did with reading, rather than 'waiting until maturity' as is so often recommended in homeschooling circles, has been very valuable and I really took it to heart and am grateful for it. I have friends who left it till later and can now just not get their teenage sons to do anything, least of all write or read. I am so glad I have just patiently and consistently plodded along with him... Susan, thankyou for asking. I am sure many of us are touched that you have asked. TWTM sets such a high standard it can feel very disheartening to have a child who struggles with basics and most of us are 'just' mums and don't have anything to compare our kids to. It really helps to accept your own child for who they are and help them with where they are, rather than compare and idealise. The last thing my child responds well to is me pushing too hard, and it has been such a journey to learn not to do that.