I think it sounds like you are on the right track, myself. I sat my two teens down yesterday and had a talk with them. An "attitude" has been showing up aroudn here lately- they want lots of freedom, yet they dont keep up their responsibilities. My 14yo loves to go to bed late and sleep in- but it means she doesnt do her chores till lunchtime and will likely not do them at all because she knows no one will notice till the evenings. Meanwhile animals starve, the kitchen is a mess, etc So the talk was gentle and loving and firm- you are not yet an adult, you are living under our roof, you live by our rules, and its time to give back. As a kid, mostly things get done for you. As you grow up, you learn to take your part in helping the family system function- you pull your weight. In return, your parents slowly hand out more freedom as we deem you capable of managing it. If you stop pulling your weight and become a burden on the family system, you lose your freedoms until you show you are responsible enough to correct your side of things. They both saw what I was getting at. I also told them that if they really felt we were being unreasonable, we were ready to listen and negotiate. But I am trying to nip this in the bud- it has become an issue but its not too bad yet. Does your daughter have many friends? Mine has many but on days she is not with them- and being with them usually involves me driving her somewhere- she is on the computer talking to them, too. I limit it, and I keep her in the main part of the house so I can glance over her shoulder. At one point it was getting too secretive. We just dont do online games. I have heard bad things about World of Warcraft by adults who told me not to let my son play it. I dont think your daughter is too young to impose your rules upon, but I do agree its about relationship, and working on that. I was a nightmare 16yo- I have compassion for the age :) My poor mother. She actually kicked me out. I didnt deserve it, but she just didnt know how to handle it. In retrospect, some firm rules and guidance and less freedom was probably the answer, but also lots of respect and love. She was too distracted with a relationship to manage me.

I always have that crash, and I dont eat sugar or white flour, eat plenty of fruit and veg, not too many grains and only whole grains. Always have protein for brekkie. I learned to live with it- I literally schedule our day so that I can go and rest in the early afternoon- mid afternoon at the latest. I am a morning person and we start at 8.30 so we can get some solid work in- then the kids can read in the afternoon while I have a rest. On days when I am out at classes for the kids- I have been known to have a nap in the car. Its not such a bad lifestyle anyway, having afternoon naps :) My dad is English and he and all his English relatives always had and still have naps, so it seems to be a family tradition. Its a nice time to curl up with a book, too.

Lol, that is funny, I agree though. I do make the kids get dressed in clothes, but I dont mind what. I wont let them do school in pjs because I did Flylady for years and it just got drummed in to me- get dressed to shoes each day (not that I make the kids wear shoes) because it kind of energises you. I find it to be true for me, I just feel better when I put clothes on rather than stay in my pjs.

I have to agree with the others. I do find that if I am around, in the room, I can do my own thing at my desk for an hour here and there, but so far I havent been able to leave teh room for any length of time and not have the kids lose focus. I am sure some kids are different and very motivated, but even my good student is not that motivated. Constant checking on her, giving praise for this assignment, going over wrong answers, helping her understand what she is supposed to do for that assigument- it doesnt really stop. And I dont expect it to. My other child needs me a lot as he has learning difficulties. However, we do minimise our school hours so that we might spend our mornings doing "work" and they will have afternoons for an hour or two of reading, which is independent (I still do read alouds in the morning though, with my two teens. Sharing books is one of the joys and benefits of homeschooling for us). I feel I have plenty of time to do other things, but for now this is still a huge committment. Having said all this- I remember when my son a few years ago- he needed me to sit at his side for just about everything. Those days did eventually pass and he can often do several things independently each morning while I do a few chores.

I think Chris's ideas are good. I would say- without you taking care of yourself, the whole family will fall apart. You are the centre pin around which the household turns. You are putting yourself too low on the priority list- you give yourself time when everything else is done, but how about iving yourself some time as a top priority and then see. It's like the airoplane oxygen mask thing- put your own mask on first. Of course thats not easy, but mentally reprioritising yourself in the scheme of things might help you find a way to balance the rest of things.Say no sometimes. Get take away sometimes. Ask for what you really want. It also helps you see more clearly, puts things in perspective. Your dh may not be espcially supportive in the way you want, but that doesnt mean you can't run a bath, or get up earlier, or take an afternoon nap- whether he likes it or not. We have cereal or egg nights here when I am too tired to cook. The only thing dh cooks is eggs. Dog training would be a biggie for me- I could only do it if it fitted in with my daily walk, which is how I trained my dog. Dh bought a 2nd dog recently and it barely gets walked because I just don't have the patience or time to train another dog- and this one is a hyper little thing. So its dh's responsibility. Good luck finding a way to balance it all...dont undervalue yourself and what you are doing for your family.

I have mine in plasic folders in a 3 ring binder. However, that is not allof them- I save quite few on my computer and only print them out when I really need to, and I have another manila folder full of unsorted recipes. Ideally, I like the binder the best, with divisions.

I have organic coffee with raw milk and agave syrup. Yum. Oh, but I only have a coffee maybe once a week.

Right now it is the end of summer holidays here, and I have suddenly become absolutely crazy about fermented drinks and foods. I have made real ginger beer, grape cooler, apple cider, sauerkraut, baked capsicum pickle and lots of kefir. Oh, and I have a big jar of mead brewing away too. The book Nourishing Traditions has been my main inspiration but I have also joined lots of Yahoo groups on the topic. Other than that, I play on the computer, read, go for walks, and play on the computer some more.

I think many people feel inadequate at providing the best education for their kids once they get a bit older, and a charter school or whatever is a compromise. Many people didnt receive such a good education and just dont feel they can do highschool. I mean , homeschooling is not a religion one commits to or "believes in" or anything- everyone does what they feel is best easch year. You dont get brownie points from the homeschool police for "finishing all the way through". It's expensive, and the truth is it is a huge sacrifice for the mother to make for so many years. It's not for everyone. But, apparently, it is for me :)

I plan for the next year anwhere from the beginning of the previous year. I like to buy 2nd hand books so it gives me plenty of time to look for them. Its probably a bit over the top really, since a lot of what I plan never eventuates- but I really enjoy the planning side of things and I spend a lot of time sitting around while the kids are doing their work- may as well plan ahead!

I am not sure why there needs to be a particular age- to me "16" or "18" or whatever seems arbitrary- or simply useful for postponing teh whole issue-but what matters more is the maturity of the child. Plenty of people in history married young, although they didnt do the whole dating thing our culture does. My dd is 14.5 and in the last 6 months- whew, what a change. Truth is, I set boundaries, however she has friends and a life away from me with Scouts/Venturers, is very socially extroverted and gorgeous looking to boot- I think I would destroy my relationship with her, and her own natural development, to place too extreme restrictions on her. I mean, I don't want her to grow up in some ways- it was so much easier when she was younger- but she IS growing up, boys ARE interested in her, and she IS interested in them. But there is not a lot of space in her life for a "relationship" so it is self limiting. I won't drive her all over the place and no one lives close to us, so even though she is playing with having a "boyfriend" it's not really going to go anywhere yet. But restricting it would create a big deal about something that really isnt. A friend who is Anglo Indian- Indian parents but she grew up in London- was discussing with me the whole "arranged marriage" thing. She said one of the benefits of a culture where they do that is that you can let your daughter go and stay with another family, and you know that that family has the same values as you- as in, they wouldn't dream of allowing your daughter to be alone with their son. Nowadays in the West, everyone has such different values and it's difficult to navigate the whole boy girl thing. I have had issues lately with my 14yo going on camps with boys with Scouts and there being no direct adult supervision- although I think the boys are respectable and am sure "nothing happened", I dont want to put my daughter in that position very often at her age- and I think I am pretty liberal and not conservative. But in the end, I think as a parent the best you can do is do your best- and be ready to be wrong, to humble yourself, to say sorry, and sometimes to let them see that its not so easy for you to be the bad guy when you really really want to just love them and be the good guy, but within your integrity you feel to set a boundary.

I wake up early- sometimes 5ish, often 6ish- depends when I went to bed and what time of the month it is- I tend to wake up really early premenstrually. I never use an alarm clock. I need 8 hours sleep. I tend to go to sleep around 10pm. I nap many afternoons.

I think of contentment as a peaceful acceptance of life as it is, and a state of not wanting much- content with what I have. Happiness is something that more comes and goes according to whether I get what I want or not, or am happy with what life brings me.

I dont think that type of lying is normal...and I clicked on this thread thinking, oh yes, lying is perfectly normal. It is- it is a sign of intelligence in fact in children, apparently- but if you are right and the chid is lying and the foster mother doesnt hit the child- I woudl say the child is seriously disturbed and probably needs more than normal help.

:iagree: 100%

My 13 and 14yos have both decided that a sign of growing independence and the freedom that maturity brings is....going to bed relaly late and sleeping in really late. Both are allowed to do this when they visit friends, and on a Scout camp recently dd14 stayed up till 3 or 4am every night and got up before 9am so that she would get breakfast which finished at 9. SO when she got home she slept for 15 hours straight and cant seem to go to bed before midnight! Since its summer holidays here I am flip flopping about whether to be tough or jsut let it be- but dh and I both find it annoying and have started waking her, and her brother for whom this is a very recent habit- at 8am. Our holidays are getting near the end and I feel justified winding in the freedoms that holidays bring so that its not too much of a shock when they have to be up by 7 and starting school by 8! You know, its ok to change your mind- if your son is not better starting an hour later- may as well go back to the earlier time and tell him sorry, it didnt make a difference for him and it's less convenient for you. Then at least if he is late- its not as late in the day. I KNOW my kids need 9 hours sleep minimum, but they can go to bed earlier as far as I am concerned. I do feel mean but its just practical and its what works in this family, because *I* am a morning person and crash in the afternoons, and I run this homeschool!

I am exactly at my happy weight! And yes I am pretty happy with it.

Perhaps write a list of things you could do, including taking a nap or watching a good movie together (as well as all the "productive" stuff :) , and then see what you actually feel like doing on the day.

I just use water, have done for years, and my skin is excellent. I use moisturiser (either a cream or sometimes a little coconut oil) after the water.

I haven't found it gets easier as they get older, however I have found my expectations have become a lot more realistic about what I can and can't fit into an average day and stay sane! I did used to be a shouter I confess- really, my son was most challenging in his resistance to everything, but I have learned to handle it better over time. My direction in homeschooling is to simplify, simplify, simplify- better to do what we do do, well, than try and do too much and fall in a heap. Yes there are many things I am not going to get around to teaching them that I wish I could- including some things they may well learn in school that they won't learn with me- however the overall benefits of homeschooling are obvious in this family so I don't concern myself too much. I think its important to have a good "tone" to most days, so that life is rolling along fairly happily, even if there are challenges- a stressed out mum sets a bad tone for the whole family. I think that's a priority so I do what I need to do to keep things in balance, including cutting out subjects and having an afternoon nap! I feel that if I am stressed out and the kids are not generally, overall pretty happy, who cares if they get straight A's? Who wants to remember their childhood with a stressed out mum, sacrificing herself for the good of the family? Enjoy your kids, have fun, and have a routine and cover the basics. Your kids are young.

Just a wafer thin slice, sir? I see dead people

I have two teens but I am finding that altough I am running around being a taxi for them- they also go stay with friends more often, do camps, and entertain themselves when at home. I definitely cannot handle being too busy, I fry rather easily. I have been known to have naps in the car waiting for my kids- proper ones, stretched on the back seat. I cut back. I try things for a term, and if its too much, we cut back. Its always a relief. yet we do plenty- but the balance has to be right. Yesterday dd14 wanted me to take her to meet some friends 20 minutes away, and I just didnt feel like it, so I said no. She is learning to ride her bike further distances than before to give herself more independence. I will only book one off things some days- I always keep some days- more than one- relatively free.

I make the recipe in Nourishing Traditions- i soak for a night or most of a day- several hours. Then I cook with a decent dob of butter, and salt. its yummy. the pre-soaking definitely helps it cook to a softer consistency that my family prefer. I cook mine in a rice cooker, but it takes over half an hour, wheras white rice is only 15 minutes.

I much prefer email too, but I force myself to speak on the phone because its the only way to stay in touch with some people. Once I get going, I am ok on the phone, but I tend to avoid it.

My daughter's name is Genevieve and we used to call her Genna-bubble a lot when she was a baby, and we still do at times. However her younger brother was a late talker, and he couldnt say Genevieve for a long time- he called her Didi for several years, so we did and do too at times. I found out later that Didi is an affecitonate Hindu word for big sister. Maybe he was Indian past life, who knows? It took until she was about 10 or 11 before we shortened her name to Gen- once her friends were doing it we started. So now she is Gen. My son- no nick name I can think of.