No, because I have nothing to be ashamed of that I would need to try and behave any different from "normal". Our normal, everyday behaviour in public is a credit to homeschooling, no trying necessary, so I don't need to present any image. Now, if someone walked in on a bad day at home (me yelling at my son for something, for example) I might shut up and try and present a more civil image. But in public, it's usually cool just normally.

<http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/564.html> I think for those of us who are "against" guns, this is a clip worth watching- for the opposing viewpoint. It opened my mind a little more to guns, even though I am glad I live in a country where they are not common at all.

Interesting question. I don't think it comes up so much for me any more. But I don't lack confidence in myself so much anymore (I think its something about getting older)...I didn't go to university but I could have. I did well at school. I am bright. I guess I know I could give my kids as well as I received.....but with all the help out there with WTM and other resources, I can give them better. I can't be what I am not, I can't share the education I didn't get, but I don't really feel the need to any more. I felt inadequate for a while there- it was all so overwhelming. But I dont see myself as having to "teach" everything any more. My kids are old enough to "teach" themselves in many areas, for example maths. If they get stuck, I try and help. Sometimes I can't...then I bring in the neighbour, or we just sit there till we work it out. I dont relaly feel inadequate. Its just what is. We work through things together. Its just reality, if I dont know it, I will help them work it out with them. I dont see a problem with that. I think some personalities are more prone to self doubt and self criticism than others. I am not immune to that, but I dont really live from there much. But I also am not really trying to live up to TWTM standards. It is an inspiration and a guide for me, but not a rigid one by any means. There is plenty we will not get to because the effort required doesnt seem worth it for the outcome- given that we have limited time- we dont work 8 or 10 hours a day. For example, we plod through Latin but have no end goal- we will get as far as we get and call it good. We probably won't get to formal logic, but may play with Fallacies for several years. I dont mean to sound arrogant at all...but I find I just trust myself and what we are doing, and I notice some others rely on the external authority of people who write books, a lot. Here on the boards you will see people who will follow TWTM recommendations closely... or LCC closely, or whatever....but there are others who take the ideas and suggestions and fly with them in different directions (e.g. Nan in Mass). Neither is better, but I suspect the people who take the ball and run in their own direction have more fun :) Homeschooling does feel like a huge responsibility, but its a fairly well trodden path nowadays. I have confidence that I can provide for my kids a better than average education- but its not the only reason I homeschool, and I feel very confident that just being home with one on one guidance is the best thing for my son, as in school he would really flounder with his LDs. The academic rigour is kind of fun, but no way do I think I am going to be able to provide it in all subjects right through highschool. But I can outsource, and I do. And more and more, I am facilitating my kids' education, while they teach themselves, and I am there as back up, and to keep them moving on, to share their difficulties and help them find a way through. I don't "teach" much any more. I look at all the other mums on these boards and IRL, and I see some more capable and better educated, and some less capable, less confident, some almost frantic....all of us at different stages, with different personalities, different backgrounds...but all of us with a passion and love for educating our kids well. The community shows me where I may be slacking off, where I may be ignorant and need to read more, where I maybe stressing unecessarily, where I am strong and others are weak, and vice versa....and I feel confident that I can do this, that I am not perfect and no way are my kids going to get a perfect education, it will have gaps and strengths and weaknesses....but overall, it is a real education, a useful one, a deep one, a better one than I got myself, and amongst it all we have shared a deep bonding and love and hopefully, they haven't had the love of learning burned out of them.

I have never used TWTM to the letter, so maybe I am not useful to you, but I have meshed parts of AO and TWTM for years and this year am using AO as my base- but only because the AO/HEO Year 7 fits with where we are in the 4 year history cycle (Medieval), and I never liked outlining Kingfisher (or anything) as a way of doing history in the Logic Stage. If you just want to use the book lists from AO...just do it. It doesnt have to be any more complicated than that. If between AO and TWTM you end up with too many books to read...you will have to pick and choose. Remember that the AO books tend to be of a high reading level - higher than what would normally be considered the reading level for the age. For example in doing AO/HEO Year 7 with my 13 and 14year olds, I am reading perhaps half the books aloud. Books like Ivanhoe are not easy reads- and my kids both read at a high level. But as a read aloud- fantastic, and I get to enjoy it too. Since many AO books are online, you can check out the style and reading level of many AO books beforehand. For my kids, some of the older books just dont resonate with them- they find them too old fashioned and cutesy, but my kids are modern and not especially sheltered. Consider the AO levels as suggestions only- many, many AO families use levels with a number below their childrens' grade level. There are so many ways to use the AO books. Nature study books are great to add in. Literature and history books can be integrated with TWTM- but again, you may end up with too many. If you join the AO Yahoo groups, you may find out which books are very popular. hth

Both Analytical Grammar and Winston use the method where they teach you a new concept and have you mark up sentences. However, AG also asks you to diagram the sentences. I dont have Winston Advanced yet so I cant comment on how advanced it gets. However Winston basic is finally working very well with my dyslexic son. He is good with grammar but the way it is presented matters. I found AG to have too small print- very hard for a kid who is dysgraphic to write above the sentences. Winston is larger print. AG is intended for older kids though so its not a criticism of the program- its just that for my son, the print is too small. AG is an excellent program and well up to WTM standards, although one would have to find some way to review since the program can be done in a year- I think there is a review book. My daughter has done well with AG- we have spread it out. Winston is a good grammar program that teaches far more grammar than they learn in most schools, and it is presented in a way that is popular with many homeschoolers- but it doesn't teach diagramming. After trying many programs wih my ds, I don't care any more. He understands the basics of diagramming- he wasn't retaining the basics of grammar. Now it is sticking. There is also a review book for WG for kids who need more practice- each worksheet mirrors the one in the main book, just with different sentences. I see now you are using CW. I would go with AG, because you need to learn the diagramming.

I learned the hard and expensive way that signing my dd up for an online course in order not to have to supervise her so closely, so I could have a break and she could be accountable to someone else, was not going to work. She is a responsible kid. She did French online and Latin online, and I wasnt watching closely enough and she got behind on both, and simply floundered. We gave up on the French. The Latin, I dived in and helped her at the end so that she could get a pass. I learned that leaving it to her to stay on top of her online classes was a mistake. However home2teach has such a good system...it taught her to stay on top and organised. If she missed a day, or didnt set her work out preoprly, there was an email in her and my inbox within hours. I felt Eileen was brilliant and my dd produced good writing for her. My dd loves other teachers....but too much freedom and a schedule with no consequences hasnt worked for her. I woulnd't sign your son up for too much just so he can be accountable to someone else. Like LoriM says- he needs to stay accountable to you. You need to stay in tune and on top of what he is doing.

I suferred from withdrawal badly...but I was also glad to get my life back. i dont normally read fiction because if its good- well, if it grips me- it takes over my life. Twilight did. A few other series have done that (Robin Hobb's Assassin series did it). The family dont get fed. Schoolwork seems unimportant. Its good there was an end to Twilight. I havent seen the movie yet. I was a bit shocked that I could......want to be a vampire so much.

I think 30 minutes a day is great and realistic if you are healthy and at optimum weight- that is where I am at too. I vary my exercise- often its brisk walking outside (I hate gyms or machines), sometimes I do some yoga, chi kung, an extra long walk, a bike ride. I think the point is to be active every day (or most days), to enjoy your exercise and to vary the type of exercise so that sometimes your heart is getting pumped, other times you are getting a good stretch, other times your might be building muscle. I follow my interests. I don't like being rigid about anything and I certainly don't think exercise shold be hard and gruelling- to me that seems like some sort of self punishment for being overweight. Unless you actually enjoy really pushing yourself. I used to, but not anymore. You can always be fitter than you are- if you always feel gulty for not being as fit as that other person you know, or as all the gym advertisements promote- you wont be happy. I am happy with my level of fitness, which is just...fairly normal. I could be fitter- who couldnt?. But just like I dont live to eat, I dont live to exercise- its not an obsession. I just enjoy what I do. BTW if you are concerned about osteoporosis, make sure you are doing exercise that involves your foot hitting the ground. That is what builds bone- bike riding and swimming dont. Thats why my favourite exercise is a good walk outside. It builds bone, it pumps my heart, and I get the benefit of fresh outdoor air and the relaxation of walking in nature.

Lol, my dd is 14 too, and artistic, and very capable...and doesn't really have a strong sense of what she wants to do.....but...14 is only 14. It's too young to HAVE to make a decision just to please your parents. I would lov eto be able to mould her schooling around her sense of direction but she doesnt have one- so not easy for me. I wouldnt push your dd into making a decision yet. She needs time.

My kids are teens now (how did that happen?) and I must admit I could have done more to make things fun....but, I would burn out playing games, and I never felt it was productive enough. In retrospect, I could have lightened up somewhat. But it hasnt been that bad, either. I have always tried to read great books with the kids, and it has always been the most fun part of the schoolday, and we continue to do that. Dd14 draws and paints while I read, and also if we watch any evening DVDs, so she gets to follow her passion- art- every day, woven into the day. (Ds just likes to eat :) ) We all spend time chatting online. And my very social kids go to Scouts (water scouts, so lots of sailing), going on Camps, surfing, visiting friends, my son has friends in the street....they have a LOT of fun in their lives. I just dotn bust my gut to make school itself fun, although I do try and make sure it is not a grinding tedium, and we so far dont do more than 5 hours a day including reading, so there is plenty of time for following interests. A dog and a puppy in the schoolroom helps provide endless comfort and distraction! And just now, dh and ds are building a snake cage, and this afternoon they will go and pick up ds's new snake. So there is some more fun. ANd distraction. A snake in the schoolroom. But hey, these are the blessings of homeschooling.

For me, I am not willing to sacrifice their present for their future. To me, our days need to be generally happy- not every minute, not even every day, but generally speaking, the overall tone needs to be of a happy childhood, not a stressful one, or one that is only a preparation for the future. But, balance in the key.

Andrographis and echinacea, high doses. Very high doses. When I am really sick, or someone close to me, I get the naturopathic strength and I take triple the dose. The other remedy is rest. Dont try and keep pushing through.

I put "other" because although the kids don't get a choice as to whether they homeschool or not- we feel it is in their best interests- it IS important to me that they enjoy it somewhat and I go out of my way to adapt the program so that our days are fairly happy. My dd14 just told me this afternoon- she wonders what school would be like. I know she has a longing to go lately- she is in contact with many older kids through Scouts and is being exposed to talk about parties and alcohol etc. But she wants to go for the social life- and she already does have a good social life, but she'd like more- and we feel she probably would let go of the academic side of things to just have a good time. In other words the original reason for homeschooling her in particular- peer pressure issues- still stand. But that doesn't mean I just dictate their program and not care whether they enjoy it or not. I do care and it is designed with their unique personalities in mind.

I haven't used that brand but I have used cloth pads for many years now. The feel of disposables irks me nowadays, the cloth feels comforting. I have a small bucket in the laundry, with a lid, and I just check the pads in there (in water, with or without oxybleach) until I have finished, then I wash them in the machine just with my clothes. They never stain, but it wouldn't matter to me if they did a bit.

I think I would focus on the reading..as many good books as possible. I dont know if you still read aloud...I do and my kids don't seem to want me to stop. And the other thing that comes to mind is to really enjoy your time together, as well as focusing on life skills...cooking, cleaning, sewing on buttons, those sorts of things.

My ds13 is driving me crazy. He argues over everything. He has opinions- strong opinions- about things he just doesn't know much about at all. If we try to reason with him, show him why he is wrong- he just defends. He is not much interested in the logic, in the truth- just in defending his opinion. Now I can see why a logic program is a good idea! This kid needs to learn how to think- he is so arrogantly opinionated and usually wrong! And, he wont shut up. He needs to tell me every detail of what he is interested in. And he still wants to be kissed and cuddled in bed at night before he can go to sleep. And he holds my hand in public. But you wouldn't call him a sissy at all. It would be cute if he would just stop talking for a little while. I am not that interested in the finer details of explosives! And I am feeling my space is invaded a lot. I dont want to push him away emotionally, but maybe nature creates this set up so that the parent pushes the kid away? I mean, ever seen those lion documentaries where the lion bites her own kitten when she gets annoyed? I feel like that! I remember TWTM saying this is the argumentative stage. Wel, my dd never really has been argumentative. I never felt a clear "Logic stage" with her at all. I wondered when it would happen for years, then I realised it had already happened. The transition was easy. I have never before been so irritated by my own child, and I don't like it. Dh and I are discussing it and setting boundaries and dealing with the stuff that needs reigning in, like just being plain rude and out of line, unhelpful etc...but a lot of it seems like he is plain arrogant and so sure of himself, when it is completely unjustified! Can anyone relate. I am sure this will pass. I hope so.

I make lunch for between 12 and 18 people twice a week, at home. It's vegetarian. It's some sort of casserole, or curry, and rice, or soup and garlic bread, most times. Sometimes pasta and sauce (pesto or tomato). But I have the plates and glasses and cutlery and large pot and rice cooker to deal with the numbers. If I didnt, I would buy out (sushi is good).

I think smarter and better educated are not the same thing at all. So many kinds of smartness. Better educated? Possibly. I think student A who uses TWTM recommendations, and approach, may be better educated than student B who uses Lifepacs. If we didnt think so, why are we here? But there are so many other factors. Student B may use Lifepacs, finish their schoolwork in good time, and then spend the rest of their time reading classic novels or encyclopedias or the any one of a thousand things homeschoolers do in their spare time that often puts them streaks ahead of schooled kids. They may actually learn to think for themselves. But student A may, or may not. There is biology, there is inclination, there is the subjective idea of what a good education is (not everyone is going to agree that Greek and Latin are signs of having had a good education anymore). Curriculum is just one piece of the puzzle- maybe it has more importance for some kids than others. Maybe some kids will be well educated no matter what, and others will struggle. The environment of the family is going to make a difference. If the parents speak well, read widely, the house if full of books and ideas are discussed and entertained, if the parents are well educated themselves- this is going to make an impact on the child. The whole "smarter" thing I find hard to swallow, though. So many types of smart. Street smart is one kind of smart, but how well would our kids survive on the streets? (Love that movie Slumdog Millionaire for that concept). Education I am sure can enhance smartness, but there are plenty of child genuises living ordinary adult lives lacking in vision and creativity. And plenty of amazing, intelligent and well educated people have died on the end of a heroine needle. My own experience is that emotional intelligence plays a considerable role in the wellbeing of a person and their ability to make decisions, take appropriate risks, live in a generous and kind way that is more than just for themselves, etc etc. All the good curriculum in the world wouldnt have saved me from making bad decisions in my teens, but some therapy might have. So many factors. And the best curriculum a child cant do, or can't do well, or cant remember, is not as good as a more mediocre curriculum that the child absorbs well. My ds has done several grammar programs but Winston is finally sticking. Its not recommended in TWTM. But it's what is working- better than using one that he struggles with every day and cant remember.

Often, I am still having my afternoon rest time. If I can get a couple of hours in my room without being disturbed, I am in bliss. Well, maybe not always bliss- sometimes it just feels like survival. But i dont always get that long, and sometimes the kids have activities. About 4.30 -5pm, I have a spa with dh. After that, I make dinner. Or, thats the general intention, anyway. Sometimes its cereal. Depends if I had the previous rest or not!

I might if it were practically the best thing to do. However, my dh has no interest in homeschooling the kids at all, although he is grateful that I do. He already is a SAHD though, he works from home. He has told me if I died he would put them in school- he couldnt homeschool. Thats why we got life insurance on me- so he could put them in the best private school. I think I would see working outside the home as a temporary situation in a crisis situation, if necessary, but its not something I would really consider otherwise, at this point.

I suggest you check out Flylady.net I couldnt have homeschooled without Flylady. I discovered her before I started homeschooling, and it was actually what allowed me to even consider homeschooling as an option.

If it were me, and I was having to compromise for the bigger picture, I would pay a lot of attention to what Dh says and the way he would feel best working. When I have gone away for periods of time and left the kids with Dh, he doesnt want to follow what I have left for them. He gets them to watch documentaries and then write essays on them! Of course that is only a short term thing- a week at a time here and there- amazingly though they usualyl produce amazing essays. But if I had to work and dh were going to take over, I would have to let go of the classical ideals and see how dh wanted to work. If he is thinking unit studies, maybe that is what WOULD work for him best, KWIM? That way he could have all the kids together. You could do history and/or science that way- and perhaps leave the other academics to you? ANother possibility is to use something like Ambleside and bunch the kids together. Its free. I know the sticking point for my dh would be the tedious work of goign through workbooks through my kids- it just wouldn't happen. Maybe your dh would be different though. I would think at the least, a timetable for each child AND one for him would be essential- unless you just assigned to him some subjects he could do with all the kids together (nature study, foreign language, read alouds related to any subject, Shakespeare -Lamb's Tales, science experiments, art, so many possibilities). Then you could do the bookwork. I find our bookwork only takes about one third of our day. Another third is independent reading. The other third is our together work- read alouds and discussions. I really feel for you though, having to go out and work with such young kids. I think I would try and downsize, work to an incredibly strict budget, grow a vegetable garden, before goign out and working. And remember that working has it's own extra expenses.

I think you are finding your own balance by noticing the way you deal with things sometimes makes it worse.Its just a part of parenting to self examine. I agree that I don't think it is healthy to be on your kids all day. It can develop into a pattern- not just for you, but in the kids. I think the general tone and mood of the days in general IS important, and I don't want my kids looking back on our school days and remembering mum nagging, mum getting angry, mum always "on" the kids about everything. I want them to look back with fondness on a generally happy time- and of course discipline will be a tool needed to manifest that generally happy mood. However, if you are always "on" the kids it could be that a) Its simply a season for everyone to get used to each other, to establish some ground rules, get used to being with each other all day, and it will naturally settle down after a while b) the disciplinary tactics you use are not effective c) you have gotten into a pattern of seeing all the negatives of your kids, reacting to the small stuff, and not stepping back enough to put out enough positive energy- to see their beauty and find the good things they are doing. In other words, losing perspective. I have definitely been through stages where it seems like I nag my kids all day. I just know i dont want to live like that for long, so I try and look more deeply than reacting to the surface (usually I talk to my husband about it and he tells me I need to be stricter. And actually, it usually works). Do they need more breaks to run around? Do they need a better breakfast, a protein snack, water? I dont find moralising helps, actually. Kids dont respond well to generalisation about being good that just make them feel guilty for being themselves. My kids are now teens, and they still do bicker and play rough with each other in front of me, in the schoolroom. I allow some of it, because I feel it is a natural part of letting off steam during the school day. If it goes too far, I will of course say something- but I think there is a place for allowing some silly play during school time as long as there is that sense of "enough" after a few moments. If they get mean with each other...well, after years of that at times, I jsut try to listen to both sides and see if the apparent "victim" was in fact baiting the apparent "aggressor". It's rarely just one. Sometimes its just a sign that they need some positive attention. I do think kids learn more by watching us, how we live, that by what comes out of our mouth.

One of the things I like about threads like this is we get to realise that we are not the only one ;) However in my family dynamic, my dh is the control freak. (maybe he wouldnt agree though :) ) He is the one that doesn't want my son making home made bows and arrows,or match head bombs, and who likes more than normal to have strong influence on the people in his life. I have spent our whole marriage finding my voice and strength and standing up to him, in order to stand side by side with him. It has been good- for both of us. I think these dynamics around control are normal iin life and especially in many marriages....and its a rare couple who can parent without having slightly different perspectives and having to negotiate through them. I think, to some extent, its hard to change our personalities. We can learn to negotiate, to pick our battles, and we can learn to soften around the edges when we see ourselves becoming rigid in our position rather than open and flexible to the situation. Maybe it also helps to notice if anything actually usually goes wrong when you let go of control, when you let the other have their way now and again, or when there is no choice. Do things stuff up? Are there unecessary accidents and injuries? or do things generally work out ok? Everyone has their own innate sense of self preservation, even small children. I was the mum sitting in the park while my 2 or 3 year olds climbed slides and went down alone, after the first few times I helped them. I was not a hoverer- my parents were very good at not putting fear into me, and they encouraged my brother and I to trust ourselves. I was the mum who let them use sharp knives and play with fire. I personally have noticed that women tend to get in the way between children and possible danger more than is often healthy- not that I think you do that Colleen because I doubt you do. The situations you have described are ones I would be concerned about too and I am the least over-protective parent in my marriage. But you only have to go to a playground to see how some women hover around their children unecessarily, actually training their child to be frightened, instead of training the child to learn their limits. One parent might also try to over compensate for what they perceive is an over controlling partner, and encourage more risk taking than is generally considered safe. I have had arguments with my husband over many things- bows and arrows, visiting friends, making home made bombs, and especially gymnastics and our trampoline. I am the one who has taken the kids to gym for many years now, I see what they do there, under strict supervision....dh hasnt, and I feel is less qualified to say what is a safe move to do on our trampoline- and yes, I know many accidents do happen on trampolines. We have compromised at times. Other times I over ride. When ds and dd started at a teenager/adult gymnastic class, dh simply forbade it, he was so concerned for their safety. I felt he was irrational. I took them anyway- they have no other sport. After a few weeks, he was fine, since they came home uninjured. These dynamics happen in many marriages and there's no formula. I think each situation is unique. I do think often though that opposites attract, and we can usually learn from our opposite. I know dh's knee jerk controlling manner has taught me how to stand on my own two feet, speak clearly, and also to take more control over our son who is also a control freak like his dad, bless him :). And in turn, dh is far less rigid, less likely to fly off the handle, to demand his way...he has softened a lot over the years, especially since I really try and honour his opinion more. No one likes to be discounted. In fact, thats when I find our arguments over children and safety- or anything, actually- really escalate. Not when I stand my ground. He responds quite well to strength and clarity. But when I defend against his opinion, instead of really letting him have his say. We joke a lot about our differences, wonder how we made it so far, and tease each other about things like being a control freak. It helps to keep a sense of humour, especially towards oneself :)

I am heading toward 42, and I love my forties! Happy Birthday!