Lol, well, you don't need an excuse. From what I hear, Australia is less stressed out and 'driven' than America, in general- although we are a similar culture. It might affect the dating culture too, I guess, that we are pretty laid back and relaxed.

I just wonder if I am expecting too little, or too much, or if this is just perfectly normal and I jsut need to slog on. My son doesnt seem to suffer from particularly severe dyslexia- I have been told it is because of the way I have taught him over the years and he is actually quite dyslexic. He doesnt have all the symptoms though- he spells well and reads well. I am just frustrated that he does so poorly so much of the time. I am sitting here marking his Latin and his LLATL, and there are just so many mistakes, even though he is still in Lesson 4 of Latin Prep after almost 2 years! ANd he has done all teh grammar in LLATL before, and he thinks its easy- but he gets so much wrong. It's just silly! . He doesn't care, he doesnt seem to take care. If I sit with him, he can do ok- but on his own, he just doesn't. I am finding it hard to know what to do with him. Whatever he learns, he forgets and we seem to have to start from scratch. Is this pretty normal? He seems like a bright, smart kid to talk to. He is an emotional kid. He is obviously hormonal, but hes always been like this, really. He does improve. Then I feel like whats teh point? Whats the point in him learning Latin if he jsut forgets it all every day? He has been doing Latin for years now- and Latin Prep for 2- and we had to go back to the beginning. Not that we had got much further than we are now. Perhaps it's lack of motivation. I can understand that. But I am frustrated with what to do. It seems often like slackness. But for the life of him, he often cant do things I think he shoudl be able to do, soncidering how many times we have gone over it. Grrr. I came here because perhaps I will make someone else feel better about their struggle with their child, and perhaps someone can empathise? I just dont know what to do other than sit down and walk him through everything, and after so many years of that, I have honestly had enough, considering he resists me as well.

Agreeing with the others....it is amazing technology and definitely worth it.

I dont know much about Tourrettes, sorry, but I have had a lot of experience with anger issues- in myself, in partners past and present, and in one of my kids. I think most people feel guilty about feeling anger- but no one can actually help feeling their anger. Anger comes unasked, and I imagine more so with your kids, but it's the same for all of us. We don't ask to be angry, we dont wake up and say I am going to get angry today- and when we feel guilty for having the actual feeling, it makes it harder to learn to direct or manage or even just feel the anger. When we dont give ourselves permission to feel the anger, in fact, and also feel what may be underneith it- hurt, sadness- it can build and build and violence occurs, or people turn it on themselves and get depressed. As for directing it....with all the best of intentions, it is probably still going to be directed at people at times. With the people in my life who are angry, I have learned to a large extent to stop taking it personally, and remember that when I get triggered, upset...that is my job to deal with, my feeling, and not anyone else's. But its not easy. There are all those techniques like bashing pillows, screaming under water, going for a run...and I have used them all, and they helped at the time. With my son...I do send him to his room if he becomes toxic and dumps on me or others. But we also allow a certian amount of free expression of feelings around here, and I feel that is probably healthier and more realistic than just not allowing it, or trying to shut it down. If my dh or I are angry, it is usually because we are upset. We often take time outs for ourselves when that happens, and hence, will also send our kids for time outs. I guess we have all developed a language around it too. We talk about it a lot. It is an open topic- no shame about it around here. Also, I will try and follow things all the way through. So if I kid is upset and angry, and I have had to do something to stop them directing it in an abusive or unfair way, such as a time out or some consequence like no electronics for the afternoon, I will watch and notice whether there comes a sense of resolution, of surrender,perhaps of remorse, of peace after a time, or if the issue is not resolved and resentment keeps building and the child stays in a less than cheerful space. If it doesnt follow through to a fresh start, I will sit down and talk it through for as long as it takes- sometimes a fair while- because there are deeper issues going on. Just a few ideas.

I am Australian too and i never heard of what you are saying :) A continent is just a large land mass and Australia is a continent surrounded by ocean...New Zealand is not part of the Australian continent, surely. I mean, you go deep enough under the ocean and we are all connected :) Australia is Australia. The general area all around and to the north of Australia is covered in many small and large islandes, and together they are called Oceania- the term Australasia used to be used but I dont know how official it way....it seems perfectly natural and practical to me that Oceania is used to explain a larger geographical area than just Australia the continent. But we in Australia do not think of ourselves as "Oceania" very much, although technically, it is politically correct nowadays to do so. We are just Australians, the same as French think of themselves as French, even though they are part of Europe.

Yeah, I think it can definitely be an issue. I would say, if the joy level is low, the priorities are not right. Doesn't mean the kids need to enjoy everything they do...but their lives should be in balance with heaps of free time to think and dream privately, as well as follow their interests and passions- or, just to play imaginatively. But all kids are different- some thrive on academia, for others its the nasty part of the day they need to get over and done with so that they can do what they enjoy. I think homeschooling parents can get rather obsessive about their kid doing really well. Without a teaching career experience to give us correct perspective, we can feel that if our child isnt doing brilliantly, we are failing. We can take things personally. We can focus too much on achieving academically- thinking it is in our kids' best interest to be able to get into the top universities at any cost- but the cost can be a healthy childhood. To me...this is their life now and the daily tone and overall joy levels they experience now, will influence the rest of their lives. The present is all any of us ever have- and kids live in the now- we adults get jaded and think we need to put all this serious stuff onto them, because it was put onto us, but much of it isnt very healthy. And their emotional health will have much more effect on their happiness in life, than what career they end up with. Fortunately as homeschoolers we can have a balance of work and play, or responsibility and freedom, of fun and doing what just needs to be done. Its a balance we probably all struggle with at times..leaning one way then the other- or getting stuck somewhere. I think a key point is, are we coming from fear and stress in pushing our kids? Or love? Are we frightened they won't do well if we don't push hard? Do we feel inadequate and overcompensate? I know we all feel its in their best interests, even when we are pushing too hard...but is it, really? As my kids get older, I realise more and more, that most of the things I have stressed about, simply didn't matter so much. I am glad we have had a daily routine of doing our schoolwork, so that we have covered a lot. But we aren't going to cover everything I ever dreamed we would. But my kids are strong and happy people, grounded in the present, with bright futures. We havent done as much Latin as I had hoped, we quit a modern language, we arent going to get to read all the books I had hoped....they dont remember as much history as I thought they should considering it has been such a strong focus. But...they are good people, good communicators, they are widely read, open minded and open hearted, and cappable of doing anything they want. They have strong self esteem and compassion for others. I did used to push too hard and after a few years of that, I relaxed a lot, because I didnt want to waste these years, which pass so quickly. We still do our work, but I don't necessarily go for the top curriculum...I will go for the one we enjoy more and does the job adequately. I won't push so hard in a subject that just isn't working for us. Its a balancing act and its going to be different for every family. I have a child with LDs and it was a relief to me when SWB said that some kids just wont get past the logic stage while they are homeschooling. I realised...for this kid, that may well be the case. And what a relief to allow him to work at his own pace, to mature into the logic stage, and do the logic stage well...rather than rushing him through to get to the next level- he would constantly feel that he is not doing well, not achieving enough. A solid logic stage education is far better than most kids get in schools here, and far better than he would have achieved if he were in school. Anyway, enough of a ramble from me....

I used to have mountains of laundry piling up, and another mountain of laundry to sort and put away, on the spare bed. Then I discovered Flylady and somehow got my act together with laundry and its no big deal anymore. I do laundry by the person. The teens usually do their own and so does dh (I am lucky, I know- dh is a perfectionist and wont let me do his laundry since 17 years ago when I washed some whites with colours), so we wash by the person. It saves the whole sorting stage of the cycle, which saves a lot of time. We just wash on cold, use minimal powder, and do colours or whites or towels/sheets. We have a huge laundry in this house and all clothes are hung on racks in the laundry. No dryer, and no traipsing outside, although I don't mind that- its just that the birds around here poop on the clothes outside because of where the line is situated. I have lots of laundry baskets- I think there are about 2 per person, so everyone can have a load going down in the laundry, and still have a basket in their bedroom for dirty clothes. No one piles clothes together- only sheets and towels go directly into the laundry. Dirty laundry stays in our bedrooms until its time to put on a wash. I still have to nag the teens to do a wash, hang their wash up, get it out of the laundry now etc, and dh always seems to need to do a wash right when I want to, but apart from that...laundry is ok.

My teens and I are ROTFLOL! :lol:

It really depends on my mood. When I am in a cleaning mood I actually enjoy doing practically any job, for the result of a cleaner or tider area. When I am feeling overwhelmed or down, any job can feel like a mountain to climb. I dont mind laundry or dishes or cooking much (particularly since the kids do 90% of the dishes and their own laundry :) ). I don't do floors as often as I could. Changing the sheets, come to think of it, is a pretty rare task- but i dont mind it when I actually do it. I guess scrubbing the tiles in the bathroom would be the worst and thats only because when I really need to bleach them I have to change my clothes and get right in there- most of the time, I just give them a scrub while I am in the shower and thats good enough.

Everyone I know hates Vista for all its glitches and problems- and is happy with Windows 7.

Weve always done our (Australian rather than U.S.) history as a parallel stream- however not every year. Since we didn't start from the beginning though,so our 4 year cycle was not ever going to be perfect, and next year will probably be my last with my dd15 at home- I think I will do Australian and Modern history together. Then with my son, go back to the 4 year cycle the year after.

I had lots of ideals and loved the sound of courtship when my kids were younger. I only heard about the idea through these boards. In the end though, my 15yo has a lovely boyfriend and none of it has been a problem- they are both sensible kids...and I don't intend to make it into a huge thing by making too many restrctions. Yes he comes here and spends time with our family, and she goes over there to spend time with his...and they also spend some time alone catching public transport and being involved in various activities together, which is how they met. The whole necessity to stand between my daughter and boys has dropped away for me in the gentle way it has unfolded naturally. It hasn't been scary, I don't think- it has been natural, and continues to be. She is open with me and yet also has a private inner world- something I think is important particularly with homeschoolers since we are so close much of the time. I have never really understood "dating"- I just went out with guys, but a "date" sounds so formal and it was never really that formal. Either we clicked or we didn't. If I felt my kids were in danger of being with multiple partners in succession....well, I would say they had low self esteem apart from anything else. Maybe there is a "dating scene" I am not aware of, but I think my dd15 is navigating the whole issue beautifully herself, with a lot of warm family support. I will only intervene if I feel it becomes unhealthy.

Stop thinking of these things as luxuries and putting them at the bottom of your to do list. It is ESSENTIAL to take care of your needs for love, pampering, nurturing...when you are full and overflowing you can be there for your family, and you can actually inspire a difficult dh to his better self...otherwise, you are just going through the motions and while the kids may be kept alive...the joy goes. Prioritise your own needs....not food and shelter needs- but emotional needs. Dont wait for the people around you to notice or give you some time out- take it. Be selfish, honestly. Then you have something to give. Says me, who just took a week's retreat, as I do each year, and who just went out alone with friends for a walk and dinner while dh and the kids had home made pizza at home. I find it is WONDERFUL for my family to actually miss me. When I go away- for a meal or a day or a week- they realise all the work I do. They become more appreciative. They also form different relationships when dad makes dinner or has to deal with day to day stuff. It's healthy for everyone.

I would heat it up well to kill anything, and definitely eat it.

I probably couldn't name them off the top of my head either, and neither could my kids. We would get most, but might get stuck on a couple. Not that we dont know them or that we are not familiar with the globe...our memories just dont necessarily hold the information so that it is immediately accessible when put on the spot :) I get the point that people are not so well educated...but still, I dont consider being well educated as being able to rattle off such things when asked. It is far deeper than that. Some people are good at memorising- so what.

One way I like to navigate the issue is...how am I feeling as I dish out the commands and consequences? Am I contracted, unhappy, or coming out of love? It's easy to "justify" control and all sorts of ways of being with children when we ourselves are in pain...but it doesn't mean its in the child's best interests. Setting boundaries is one thing, and an important one. I see being controlling as coming from fear, emotional wounding, sometimes anger- another way of saying.....is it in the child's best interests only, or are you reacting from your own conditioning? I am not sure how to put it more clearly. I think we joke too much about being controlling, really, and in reality, it hurts the child, who is a whole being in their own right. On the other hand, I don't have a problem with tomato staking in itself. Whats more important is where are you coming from when you do it? Does the child feel loved, included and forgiven, yet temporarily restricted- or are you holding a grudge and making sure they know it (in at least subtle ways). Tomato staking is not meant to be punishment or to make the child feel bad about themeslves. It is setting a clear boundary- a boundary which will extend as the child learns to manage their own behaviour within the boundary set. I know theres a fine line between setting boundaries and controlling..and it doesnt really matter what terms you use...it's more about being honest about whose interests you really have in mind...many people think they are being loving while emotionally dumping on the child and controlling them out of their own pain. Weve all done it. I am just challenging the mindset which says it's ok just because we all do it, I guess.

I dont think it is possible to say, really, but learning any language supposedly makes learning other languages easier. Here in Australia, probably an Asian language- Mandarin, Hindi, Japanese or Indonesian- would be practical- and they are often taught in schools here nowadays, along with French- sometimes German. In the U.S.- perhaps Spanish?

Ideally here in Australia we should be learning Indonesian and Japanese, perhaps Chinese as well. And then a European language- Spanish, French or German- to connect with our own cultural heritages. Anyone should learn their own ancestral native tongue, whatever it is. Latin and Greek are luxuries- ideally one Asian language, one European language, and Latin. No rules though. I don't like rules :) And we learned what was in the end a very little French, and are still slogging away at basic Latin. So I dont live by my own ideals, but that doesnt mean I dont have them :)

Submission should be to a higher authority, as in God, the Great Spirit, or however you see the great universal force we all come from and go back to...I dont believe in submission to any human. Not in any "you will make all the decisions" sort of sense, anyway. I do see how the concept can be of benefit to a woman who is shrewish, critical, overly independent etc- but you dont need "submission" to change those sort of behaviours.

Yes, this is the problem I see. "Natural " treatments that may have been used for centuries are frequently not patentable, therefore the millions of $ are not spent on testing them. Therefore they can't say on the bottle that it does cure something, and often can't do the big studies. On the other hand, the medicine that is actually approved by the FDA/equivalent in whatever country, is hardly "safe". If you can get a copy of MIMS (that's the Australian version of the side effects and combination side ffects - its a huge book, not sure what the U.S. version is)) you will see that the list of possible side effects of just about every medicine is absolutely horrendous and it makes you wonder how these drugs actually get approved. Yet people trust them because we are brainwashed to trust "science". Far more people are hurt through prescription medication, and trips to the hospital, than are hurt through alternative medicine, even through possibly questionable salespeople such as Mercola. Our society has such a strange prejudice against anything that is not scientifically proven, yet so much is unprovable, and just because your pharmacy sells it doesnt make it safe at all, even if you have a prescription. People want to trust someone. I suggest we all get better educated and take responsibility for our own health. Here is some info I just googled- I cant verify the source. But honestly, I wouldnt be worried by people like Mercola, compared to the actual medical system. http://www.cancure.org/medical_errors.htm One quote: Medical Errors - A Leading Cause of Death The JOURNAL of the AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION (JAMA) Vol 284, No 4, July 26th 2000 article written by Dr Barbara Starfield, MD, MPH, of the Johns Hopkins School of Hygiene and Public Health, shows that medical errors may be the third leading cause of death in the United States. The report apparently shows there are 2,000 deaths/year from unnecessary surgery; 7000 deaths/year from medication errors in hospitals; 20,000 deaths/year from other errors in hospitals; 80,000 deaths/year from infections in hospitals; 106,000 deaths/year from non-error, adverse effects of medications - these total up to 225,000 deaths per year in the US from iatrogenic causes which ranks these deaths as the # 3 killer. Iatrogenic is a term used when a patient dies as a direct result of treatments by a physician, whether it is from misdiagnosis of the ailment or from adverse drug reactions used to treat the illness. (drug reactions are the most common cause).

You need some sort of raising agent- and you can make bread with bicarb, or you can make sourdough which is a whole other experience (and sourdough has yeast in it, just naturally collected yeasts rather than bought in a pkt). I have started making gluten free bread for my dh who has become gluten intolerant. For many people, spelt is ok, because they are specifically wheat intolerant rather than gluten intolerant. Its good to find out which it is because these terms are bandied about rather freely and interchangeably, wheras they are quite different issues. My dh seems to be able to handle some spelt etc. But if he has normal pasta, he has terrible discomfort. It can take some experimenting. There are gluten free flours available here, so I am sure you can get them there too. Gluten is needed in bread to "hold it together" and make it sticky, so gluten free loaves need some sort of substitute to hold them together. I make my own from scratch. THe grains you are using will make a heavy loaf, but you can also sift them to sift some of the heavier fibre out. But no, they are not gluten free. Enjoy your breadmaking, and dont get too disheartened. I have made so much bread over the years that just didnt work well. Nowadays, I am getting better at it and I am glad I kept trying.

I wouldn't rely on Quackwatch for reliable information- it's about as biased and closed minded as you can get. People love to feel cynical about alternative health practitioners. I find some of Dr Mercola's info useful, but I stopped getting the newsletters because I also find his presentation painful. Too sales oriented- turns me off. However, I think he has his place and he gets some good information more widespread than it otherwise would be. It's up to people to verify it for themselves but as far as I am concerned, I am glad that there are people like him to be a voice for certain treatments and information. I might not like his delivery, but here's to free speech .

You NEED one Lucy, especially now you have a baby! :)

I knew I would get to someone :) I found this article online, but I dont understand why they think its so difficult to learn to use- once someone just shows you how, it's easy. It might be the metric/imperial conversions that make it harder for Americans I guess, if they havent converted the cookbooks- but how hard is that to do? The way it works here is that you get in contact with a dealer- usually a housewife making some extra cash- and you go to a demonstration in your area. When you order one, they come to your home and cook a simple meal with you (pumpkin soup for me), to show you how it works. After that, easy peasy, you are flying. I am going away for a week tomorrow- this afternoon I have made a mushroom walnut flan (pastry from scratch and blind baked), a butter chicken curry, a bolognaise sauce, a brown rice salad- and I am about to make cauliflower cheese- so that my family have food while I am away and dont resort to the Golden Arches too many times. Although they are leanring to use the Thermomix too. http://www.postgazette.com/pg/06201/707008-34.stm

Shrek, Finding Nemo And The Sound of Music