We do not live in a gun culture but my son picked up sticks on the lawn when he could crawl, and pretended they were guns. It really blew me away he could have an instinctual knowledge of them at such a young age. I wanted to never have guns. Dh convinced me otherwise. He bought ds stupid plastic noisy things at garage sales. They werent used very often and mostly they sat in the toy box. Over the years we had water pistols, noisy guns with flashing lights, and swords. None were used a lot. I am glad I didnt make too much of a fuss and let dh have that one- because I think if I had made a big deal and not allowed them it would have become a much bigger issue than it was otherwise. But I only had one boy so I guess he didn't have brothers to bounce off. For those whose kids are not interested in guns- be aware that that can be a nature rather than nurture thing. In other words, just because you didn't allow guns and your boys accepted it or weren't interested doesn't mean all boys would respond the same to that parenting strategy.

Not the end of the world. She will be a handful for him- he won't keep up :) She will move on in a few years. I was a 16yo in love with a much older man (not quite that old). It was real for me and it wasn't creepy- I also wasn't a beauty pageant queen. Even all these years later and with a 17yo daughter myself, I don't feel it was wrong or creepy. But he was wise enough to make me move on once I finished school. I had left an abusive home life- mother's boyfriend was an alcoholic- it was much better than that. He was protective and it went a little further than it probably should have, but I was the one pushing it, not him. Life is full of variety. It would be boring if it wasn't. They live in a free society- she will grow up and learn from it.

Well, "organic" is kind of different to "natural". You can get organic refined white icing sugar but thats kind of a long way from, say, evaporated cane juice. I use difference sweeteners for different things. For baking, if I need a lot of sugar, I just use raw sugar because of the price. But I rarely bake stuff that needs a lot of sugar. For stuff like porridge, I use honey or coconut palm sugar. Maple syrup is too expensive here. Rapadura is good too. Just go for the least processing you can- whatever it is. So if its honey, raw honey is best. If its sugar, rapadura is just sugar without all the minerals taken out. I like coconut palm sugar- its pretty slow to raise blood sugar, so lower GI than others. For tea, you can use stevia- a plant that tastes sweet with no calories. Some people like xylitol, another very low calorie sweetener- I think its a bit processed but I have used it at times. We like agave syrup- a good quality dark one. And we like apple juice concentrate. I would experiment with them and try different ones- I like to vary our sweeteners. But if you need 2 cups of it for a recipe- it gets a bit expensive.

Spray-free or pesticide-free would be the most honest description, as used at markets here. I will certainly buy spray free in preference to conventional, as it is usually priced less than organic and all organic is beyond our budget. Organic would be dishonest- there are strict parameters around being able to use that term, for good reason- and its not sustainable- but the integrated pest management is irrelevant as it is fertilizer.

I rarely wear gloves, but I don't use harsh cleaners either. I wear gloves when I use oven cleaner- that's about it. I use moisturiser on my hands, but my hands really don't get so much rough treatment anyway. Maybe I have princess hands because I don't do enough cleaning :)

It would really depend on how well I knew the mother. If we were on friendly terms, chances are we would already have some sort of an informal arrangement to look out for each others' kids. Then yes, I might say something- but she would probably already know. I would not go out of my way to tell the mum if we were not already chatting regularly. It would also depend....really, I feel teenagers need to have some privacy and protected space. While smoking is not something I would deliberately want to hide for them....I would be careful before betraying a teen's confidence. I would consider all the factors. There is one teen who spends a lot of time with us- his dad beats him, his parents fight a lot. I know he drinks some alcohol with my son at times. I deal with my son and treat this other kid as my son too, but I won't go out of my way to deal with his parents. We are sanctuary for him. Every situation is unique, and teens need protection and people looking out for them, for sure. But if dobbing in a teen to his parents is going to make that teen hide from me, and/or from his parents, how did that help? Its easy to be all moral about it, but smoking is not the end of the world, actually, and all factors need to be considered.

I think they would think its pretty cool but uncharacteristic of me. Both mine have piercings now- eyebrow for ds15, belly button for dd17. I tihnk either are within the realms of getting a tattoo at some stage but they seem more interested in piercings. Dh gets urges to get a tattoo on and off- I am really against it though, so that has helped him not actually do it (yet.). I really have no interest, but I have seen some pretty cool ones...they look cool on ...other people.

Can you pack it up and put it in a garage, and if you haven't used it in 6 months- a year at most- then give it away? But really...if you can coerce yourself to give it away, or sell it, whatever it is.....and then really consciously ENJOY the empty space ...you can get addicted to that feeling, and then that itself become a motivating factor. WHen i clean out a cupboard and am fairly ruthless about it....the "high" I get from opening that cupboard and seeing it neat, clean, arrange, uncluttered- beats the rare time I give away something I regret. Most of the time...I dotn regret it at all. 95% of the time that thing will never come up as a blip on my radar ever again. And if I suddenly do remember something I gave away that I needed- I remind myself that I can get another one- and it was never THAT important. THe only thing in the last year I have regretted shedding is a pair of brown skivvies (not sure what you call them over there- turtle neck shirts? ). I cant even remmeber getting rid of them- so maybe I didnt and my dd took them and lost them. I cant think why I woudl have got rid of them when they match so many things in my wardrobe. I really do miss them (although not badly enough to replace them yet). But that is not enough to make me regret all the hundreds of other things I have got rid of in the last years. It feels so good to have uncluttered spaces in your home, to be able to see whats in each cupboard, to have order- it really is addictive. Just try it- you don't even have to get rid of the stuff- just box it up and hide it. If you haven't ripped open the box in a year, looking for something, dont even open it- just give it away.

Sounds like you need to develop a little thicker skin. Let it flow of like water off a duck's back. Maybe they will never understand you. Since being gluten free (which is nothing like what you are experiencing, I realise) I have just learned to say no, can't eat that, I am not eating gluten, thankyou, and move on. I don't expect anyone to understand- I just take care of myself and how they respond is their problem. In your case, I would say it is even more important to develop an attitude that just dismisses people if they try to influence you. Perhaps your age works against you but you are never too young to try. Just be matter of fact and in your power, rather than hoping people will understand. They may never understand.

:lol::lol::lol: I have just looked at this thread and didn't read it all.....but I did insist on getting dressed to improve attitudes to schoolwork- mainly in my son- whose attitude left something to be desired anyway. I liked our morning routine before schoolwork, which included getting dressed and chores etc and it worked for us. But in the OP's case I wouldn't bother. The 6yo is asserting some individuality and self expression AND its not impacting on her schoolwork OR her ability to be quickly ready to leave the house. So no harm is done allowing her to stay in PJs. However...you are always free to change your mind if it starts impacting on you or her work etc.

I always turned off my PC. Now that I have an IMac it just goes into sleep mode. I love it- makes it hard to really move away from it, though. If its just on with the shift of a mouse, any time of the day or night, and I happen to walk past it many many times a day while doing other things...its very easy to just quickly check my email, then the boards...and you know what happens then.

Wow, that blog is VERY interesting and I have just spent ages there reading. The relationship between a state of high inflammation and protection from pathogens such as swine flu is fascinating. So the unhealthy, high inflammatory state of most Americans (and Australians) is actually also a protection against the 'plague'. But not against chronic degenerative disease, auto immune disease or cancer (which all kill you more slowly). I find that sort of thing really interesting- thanks for linking to the blog.

I have no problem with laziness in general- if one learns to be efficient, and doesnt freeload onto other people. It has taken me a long time to really realise that my ds15 is lazy in a way that is not to his benefit. He just doesnt bother to try or to focus on things. He really wants to go on a camp this weekend and had to do a few simple things to organise it for himself, and he hasnt. I have been amazed because all his friends are goign and i am pretty sure on Friday afternoon he iwll be kicking himself. He is also very lazy with schoolwork- always was. I didn't want to label him at all- made lots of excuses for him- but right now, I think he is just plain lazy. I guess another word for lazy is unmotivated. But again, that is me trying to make an excuse for him- he is unmotivated because of blah blah blah- in the end, lazy describes his behaviour perfectly.

Here is an interesting theoretical article about the possible causes of the upsurge in gluten intolerance. There is a difference between the digestive issue of gluten intolerance, and coeliac, by the way. Coeliac is a systemic immune system disorder that also affects the digestive system- where the body develops antibodies to gluten. I am not sure how much crossover there is, but my dh can handle some gluten before reacting with diaorrhea, especially if he stays away from it for a while. I have an auto immune disease so I am staying away from all gluten, which can inflame the auto immune response. I know someone who had severe wheat intolerance. He discovered that if he made his own bread and left it to rise for 6-12 hours- as it was always traditionally done before the last 50 years when mass production of bread meant production methods that shortened rising time- the gluten was broken down sufficiently and most wheat intolerant people can handle it. He could eat bread again. The symptoms I was having were aching joints and hashimotos disease which is an autoimmune response where the body attacks the thyroid gland. My doctor suggested going gluten free as it is a common trigger for hashis, and other auto immune diseases, and all my joint aches have gone. I didn't have any digestive symptoms at all but it was obviously causing an inflammatory response in my system. The hashis is as yet still there though. My dh went gluten free due to ongoing bowel/digestive issues. He can eat a little now and then but not much before the symptoms return. I do eat gluten free bread because I like my morning eggs on toast (but i haven't found one I love yet)- and we now eat rice pasta.

I am sorry, but it is called Tomato Sauce, or maybe BBQ sauce, but usually tomato sauce. You always need an "other". :001_smile:

I would set up trusts or whatever for my kids to make sure they were well cared for. I would probably not change much straight away but I would be more likely to plan to travel both with and without kids. I guess I would buy a house in the city and a property in the country. 10 years is a long time. With that much money i would probably find some way to give- create a charity, an eco business, a cause, get involved in something meaningful, using the money as wisely as I could.

Im 44 and I have had a lifetime of irregular periods- and long cycles- till the last 2-3 years when I have much more regular but short ones! I actually prefer it. I hated the waiting. Its a poignant time- knowing the capacity for baby bearing is coming to an end. But I think I will be happy when it's all over :)

Family of 4- 2 teenagers. $250 a week- we have a food budget.

I totally agree - there is a lot of junk science, especially in the world of nutrition. I am often amazed that one study can become "truth" and spread like wildfire through the health conscious world and no one questions the source of the information- such as the 'soy is bad' that Weston Price promotes. But it's too easy to select the studies that prove your point and dismiss the ones that don't, so I don't bother. I always suggest to people to read widely and look at both sides, including all the criticisms. The thing is, if you already have an agenda, (whether you are a scientist or a lay person) it's hard to be objective. I did address why individual people will feel better on a low carb diet, even though I am not convinced carbs themselves are the problem or that a low carb diet is in general a good thing.

I found it helped when other homeschoolers started pigeonholing me as a "classical" homeschooler because then they could ask me what we were doing, or let me chat about some now program we were doing that I was excited about...while not feeling bad because they weren't doing that sort of thing, because "they weren't doing classical homeschooling.". We socialised with a lot of homeschoolers with different approaches and I needed to be myself and be able to share my reality, without feeling like I had to hide anything, but also without sounding like I was bragging. Most were not interested in the amount of structure we had so it helped that they knew how we could do all we were doing.

The first time I heard that phrase was on here- people complaining about it :) I thought it was pretty cute so now we all say it. Its all in the context. And when I think about it...this family has a tendency to blame and not take responsiblity for themselves. My Bad at leasts is a way of saying "I did it"! The way it is said here reminds me of how our dogs roll over on their backs when they have done something wrong, hoping to be forgiven by being cute and surrendered. :) Picture "my bad" with those huge big puppy eyes. :)

I also feel awful on high protein/fat. I feel best on moderate everything. The diet I use is the nosdiet which allows you to eat what you want to eat- so no extremes, just normal food- same as you feed your family- but creates new habits. No sugar, no seconds, no snacks- on weekdays. Just 3 good meals a day- eating as much as you need on one plate at each meal to get you through to the next meal. Then on weekends you can break the rules. So there is an escape valve. It is a diet you can stay on for life because it is about creating healthy habits- so there is no rebound effect. The rebound effect is taken care of by allowing you to break the rules on S days (Saturdays and SUndays) as well as Special days (birthdays, weddings etc).. And if you want you can also combine it with any other diet, but you don't need to. I don't except that I have my own diet fetishes. I dont like being told what to eat- I rebel!

I don't see my parents very often so when they told me when they were coming (both separately since they are divorced, with their partners) in the same year, we just accepted it and planned around it. I continued doing school but we did take some time off for "field trips" with them. I figured it was good for them to see our routine anyway and feel part of it.

No worries about me...and i understand it is part of your healing to talk about it. :grouphug:

No, I don't think people eat too many carbs at all. Half (or more) of the world lives on mainly white rice and are not overweight at all, so the carbs are not the cause. I do think that a couple of generations of excessive sugar, refined carbs, processed foods and unhealthy fats, have damaged peoples' systems so much that they can no longer tolerate carbs- their systems can no longer deal with it. But that is a result of exhaustion of the ability to deal with excessive carbs- not the carbs themselves. Otherwise, most of China and India would be fat! Most eat plenty of calories- but the calories they do eat are different. One thing they do do (in China for example) is eat barely any dairy or meat.The more they add these foods into their diets, the more they get Western diseases. I get that people feel better when they don't eat carbs. But I don't buy that there is an intrinsic problem with carbs. There has been an abuse, an overeating of refined carbs in the form of sugar and white flour for several generations, steadily getting worse. Along with less and less fresh real food. I grew up on cornflakes and sugar, white bread, meat and dairy, with a few veg. Our systems are not handling the carbs any more, but it's a combination of factors. If you cut out carbs you are once again living in imbalance, just like the generation or 2 who ate low fat. Just eat real food, not processed foods. Mostly plants, plus some meat if you want to. Unless your system can no longer handle the carbs. But that is not the carbs fault. I don't believe any one of the 3 major food groups (carbs, fats proteins) is inherently wrong or bad for us. If it was, most of the world would have died out by now. But what we DO with those major food groups says a lot about how our systems will react. Take the fat out of your diet, and you will probably eat too much sugar. Take the carbs out of your diet and you will probably -from what I see- eat too much meat and dairy- and there is plenty of research to say that too much meat and dairy is bad for you, and is related to many cancers, but the low carb people seem to ignore that. No food is evil. Not real food. Its all good, in a healthy system, in balance.