I'd forgotten about that....we too went through the "lunch box" phase where they wanted their lunches packed in containers and being able to carry them from the kitchen to the dining room (or outdoors to eat). I believe that one was brought on by all the "back to school" sales that the TV and stores put in your face for a month, lol. After asking repeatedly for a lunch box I gave in and I swear we spent an hour choosing "the" right one. This phase didn't last long, but having the lunch box was still worth it because we'd take it along to the zoo or museum with a snack, so it wasn't totally a wasted purchase, lol. I really think it's just the image in their heads that we have to compete with.....providing a suitable substitute image that still excites and pleases them usually does the trick. When they get older and their public school friends start complaining about school, and they realize that they don't feel that way about school themselves....that's when it hits them how wonderful it is to homeschool. Remember the threads on this board around the time school starts up again....where we adults can't quite understand how other parents can be so giddy about sending their children to school? Well, come spring when we're all starting to feel a little burned out, the threads change to "should I send them to school next year", lol. Even as adults we have to be reminded that the grass is only greener on the other side because of all the manure that lives there....when we get over to that side, it's not any better either.

How about little gentler brain-wash :lol: approach but along the same lines of Sputterduck....but perhaps emphasizing the positive more than the negative. Leave the house about the same time the neighborhood kids are walking to school....even commenting "there's Billy going to school" and waving to Billy as you drive past......then drive past the school, again pointing out the kids are getting ready to start their school day. Then YOU and son go off and have a wonderful day....play at the park, go to a museum, etc...lots of hugs and special moments...... drive home about the same time that the kids are getting out of school, again commenting on it. Then tell your son that you are SO GLAD that he will homeschooled because you'd have missed all that fun today and all the hugs you were able to give him because he wasn't in school and away from you. The next day look out the window or go outside and wave to Billy walking to school again....then go inside and have a marvelous fun filled day with your son, again with lots of fun. And again, remind him how glad you are that he's home with you so you guys can have all this fun and all those hugs. A few days of seeing what he'd be missing might help him realize that he's got it great at home! About mid-way through her K year my eldest suddenly got weepy each morning saying she wished she could go to "real" school. It took a while to realize where this was coming from because before this started she was thrilled with all the great things we were doing at home and would tell her public school friends all about HER day just like they told about theirs. But suddenly, she's weepy. Come to find out it was because a new child moved in next door, and the big yellow school bus stopped to pick her up each morning....and my child thought that was just soooo cool. It's wasn't school she wanted to go to, it was riding the bus.:lol: So, we hopped on a city bus one day.....and that single ride was all it took to take the glamour out of riding a bus. A special thank you to the smelly guy who added the final sensory overload....as if the bouncy rough ride, sticky seats, can't see out the windows and loud noise wasn't enough, lol. If you're not already, you might try seeking out other kids of the same age and get together as often as possible to play together....maybe not just one or two other kids, but see if you can't find a larger group of PreK-K-even 1st graders so it feels like his vision of school to him. Perhaps that will fill whatever need he is having that makes him ask for school. If he had that to look forward to each week, as well as all the fun and hugs you provide the other days, it might satisfy his idea of preschool...without scaring him about the down side of school.

I know you asked for Hive advice, but just in case all the responses here telling you to go for it weren't enough: http://www.thefashionpolice.net/2008/02/wedding.html (use caution opening the link in the last paragraph). http://www.brides.com/forums/message.jspa?messageID=300318 http://www.examiner.com/x-5960-Weddings-Examiner~y2009m3d21-Wearing-black-to-a-wedding--should-you And the list goes if you google "can I wear black to a wedding". So, go, have a great time and give my congrats to the new bride....and while I'm congratulating, congrats on the weight loss and fitting into the "someday" dress! :party:

We took out a 30 year loan but are paying it based on the 15 year payment table. The interest rate was .25 higher for the 30 year loan but I figured that way if life got rough our minimum required payment would be very reasonably do-able.....and am grateful because there was a stint where funds got low for a few months and we reverted to the 30 year payment schedule. We still will have it paid off in 16 or 17 years instead of the 30 years. (Caveat, be sure to check your mortgage contract carefully to be sure there is not a penalty for paying off early!!) General wisdom seems to be that your housing costs (mortgage, insurance, taxes) should not exceed 30-35% of your income and that your overal debt (meaning the car payments, credit card etc) should not exceed 50% of your debt. So if you are top heavy in other debt payments than your mortgage should be less than 30-35% so as to bring your total debt down to 50%. If your income is not set in stone....i.e. commissions, overtime, etc, than it's best to consider your income to be the minimum you can ALWAYS rely on receiving. We never consider overtime pay when calculating income....that way it's the "extra" that everyone always needs in their budget. It means that we have a smaller house in a little less fancy neighborhood than my DH's workmates.....but then again, we have no credit card debt because we can afford to buy the things we want instead of charge them, and many of his workmates are heavy in debt because their mortgage and fancy car payments are killing them, lol. Even high cost of living places have "lower" areas....and honestly in the higher cost of living towns we've found that the low areas are actually just as safe (not so in regular cost of living places, the "low" tends to be unsafe). To me, safe neighborhood is a bigger priority than square footage....I'd rather be safe in a small house than unsafe in any size.

Sniff test....if I can smell em they need a bath, lol. Stringy hair is the other.

Frankly if that's how he feels and couldn't come up with a better excuse than "everybody else" than I would probably decide that despite being 13 he's not mature enough to have an account. If he has nothing to hide than he should not balk at your requirement for access. If he has something to hide then obviously no account allowed. Keep in mind, also, that because he IS 13, the Internet laws granting you as the parent some control no longer apply. He can therefore change his password without you being notified. And, unlike when he was 12 or younger, you can no longer write to Facebook (or anywhere else) and request that his account be deleted. Only he can make that request now. I'm only telling you this in case he decides to change his password and then would refuse to give you his new one.....it comes down to how well you will be able to discipline him. I know of another family who allowed their pre-teen to have an account, they had complete access....a week after their 13th birthday they changed their password because another teen had told them about the Internet Law no longer applying to them. As you might imagine the scene was not pretty when Mom requested the new password and teen refused. Mom of course revoked all computer rights, putting her own password on the computer, lol....but this is a public schooled child who simply access Facebook at school now. And the school won't help mom by saying no to computer access! Even if your child will obey you about access......be sure to have a serious discussion about the down side of social networks like these. Everything he says and does and pictures he puts up and even friends he has will be accessible forever. Future employers, and even apparently colleges, are now looking at these networks to see the character of people...and who they "hang out" with! So it's apparently no longer just whether YOU are a good person, but whether your friends are too. I doubt my children will ever have access, but if I change my mind in the future, I will require that their account be always private. I'm told that kids don't like that because it's some kind of competition to see who has the most friends and become friends with your friends' friends and so on, so the kids don't keep it private and the whole world can see. My other objection to these networks is the time warp factor....I've got many adult friends who say that they log on "just for a moment" and hours later they come up for air. Of course, I guess the same could be said for me and THIS forum, lol. Good luck with your decision. I know these places are popular, but I've yet to see good of it.

Tightly wad up balls of tin foil and put them in the bottom of the crockpot before putting the chicken in....that way as it releases all the grease your chicken won't sit it in all day and boil more than cook. Of course, we then use all that grease to make gravy, lol....so while you won't save calories necessarily, you also won't serve greasy chicken.

Just to keep the facts straight....according to the articles I've read.....her baby was conceived AFTER she was already enlisted and serving. So she did not choose military as a single mother, but became a single mother after joining. A significant difference in a discussion about putting herself into this situation. However once the baby became an issue there were many ways to mitigate the situation, but so far I haven't seen that she has requested any of them (discharge, a change in field to a non-deployable one, etc). So far the only thing I've seen about the father is that they are no longer in a relationship.....not clear if he's military or not, interested in taking responsibility of his child, or even if he is aware of the child.

Actually her arrest wasn't anything to do with the child....it was for failing to show up at her deployment. Failure to obey orders, abandonment, even AWOL (Absent without leave). Not sure what the exact charges are or will be, but those are all possibilities. And yes, she should have just shown up with the baby on her hip, but without need for the mini duffel bag because they would not have deployed her. But failure to show up wasn't an option. That's akin to saying I didn't file my income tax because I didn't have the money to pay....ummm, no, that's not how you do it. Or even, I didn't pay my taxes because I don't agree with our tax system.....nope, not ok, and not gonna get you much sympathy from those of us struggling to pay our taxes. Just like it's drilled into us from our very first job that you pay your taxes it's drilled into soliders with children that you have a plan and a back up. So, no, it's also not a case of she didn't know the rules or didn't know what to do. As soon as she told her command she was pregnant she would have then been counseled not once, but repeatedly about her duties and obligations as concerned the child (at each dr appt too). All the parents, even those with a non-military stay at home parent, are under a different radar. There is a whole department that's sole purpose is to take care of being sure that soliders have workable plans. Plus the FRG (Family Readiness Group) who are the on base family members. Because she was a single mom, her radar was even more intense....even if she had plans that were more solid, they check in on you more as a single parent because of the difference....another group singled out is where both parents are military. But even families like mine are contacted by FRG every time deployment is ordered. I've been both-one of those doing the contact, and one being contacted over the years. The procedure has been the same for our 20+ years, every member is contacted to be sure that they have what they need to deploy with as little trouble as possible. Even the no-children members have a check box. No one wants a solider deployed with worries about home on their mind....not only for that solider, but to be blunt, for safety of those in their unit. You don't want a solider's mind on home when you're in battle. Obviously not every worry can be eliminated, but the deployed soliders know that they have military-family watching their backs at home. That is so vitally important, something that is probably impossible for a non-military to understand, how seriously it's taken. Had this solider's Mom decided AFTER deployment that she couldn't handle the child, the military wouldn't have just said "too bad, it's your problem". Just like before deployment, afterwards, they would work to find a resolution, and sometimes that does mean bringing a solider home when a solution doesn't happen. They obviously try to avoid that, but it happens, not just for child care either. You really and honestly have to be in the military to totally understand the scope of heart that the military does have. It has a mission, and that is a priority but not to the complete detriment of the family. As part of the readiness physical she would have again been counseled about her plan. Had she said "oh it's no problem, Grandma's got it covered", she STILL would have been counseled about what to do if Grandma falls through, and what to do if her backup plan falls through. This constant drill is to keep command in the loop. This happens EVERY deployment, even for the soliders who are old hands at deployment. My DH obviously has a very secure plan, ME......but despite that he still has to answer it each time. For his entire career there has been ME as the first step plan. We also have a backup plan ...never had to use it but it was a serious, in writing, signed by both parents AND the adults that would take over if needed, plan. How many non-military families have a plan if the stay at home parent gets long term ill or even dies and the working parent has to continue to work? Not many, I'll venture....as it's a remote possibility and if you've even given it any thought (which most never have) you probably just figure you'll cross that bridge when it happens, or you figure family will step in, even if you've not discussed it with them. That's not acceptable in the military, even for families like me who know the drill, have lived the drill for decades, and have never for a moment needed those back up plans....but every deployment you have to provide your plan. So she would have known that showing up with the kid that she'd have been pulled aside and not sent. Of course, she should have brought these problems to her command before it got to that point, but if the plans fell through the morning of deployment, she'd have known the procedure, but either way it's a written procedure that the military follows. It's not a make-it-up-as-it-happens or open to discussion and debate by her command. It's so structured in the military that it's not even a case of "gee, what if her command was a single, no kids, don't think parents/woman should be in the military hard-butt type".....command can feel that way personally, but if THEY fail to follow procedure THEY are the ones to suffer, so believe me, they follow (as these types tend to be career military and bite their tongues off for their career). Feelings like that aren't easy to hide and in such a close knit, structured environment, such a person would not be in the job having to do with deployment and plans. So it's not a case of her fearing command would take the kid....there is NO precedent for that in the entire course of military history. Had she shown up with the kid they'd have pulled her, and then they would have worked one-on-one with her to forumlate a plan. Worst case if no plan could be found, she'd be discharged....ending her career, and yes, it wouldn't be an easy "oh well you don't have to go then", the pressure to find a plan isn't fun, I've watched others go through it, but it's not unlike other jobs where if you don't do your job we're going to make make it unpleasant or you're going to leave. But the folks who handle this are NOT the "hate women in the military" types...they are specially trained and handle this constantly. That first deployment is of course the hardest. Some soliders think they can handle it but then can't.....it's not just the single moms either. I've seen some pretty rough and ready men who are jazzed about going, only to have reality hit them the day before (or a few even on the tarmac).....and they crumble. They're pulled and a lot of counseling happens to help them fulfill their duty....and most are later able to rejoin their units. For those non-military who think is all very harsh...it is, without a doubt. Being asked to leave your family and go off and put yourself in harm's way (plus all the other horribleness of deployment) is harsh. My DH loves his job, he's proud of being a solider, and despite the hardships he has never, not once, said "I don't want to go". He'll talk about how he hates to go, hates to leave us, hates to see me worry so much, but never has he entertained the idea of not going. It's his job. Just like I as a mother would never entertain the idea of just giving up my job of taking care of my wonderful, frustrating, adorable, irritating, only partly well behaved children. Ok some days I may fantisize that they are all replaced by Stepford like aliens, but that's not the same is it? But I would never consider walking away. We've had threads on mom who do, they're seldom sympathic. I think you're going to find it hard to find any sympathy from a military family for her situation.....yes we're very sympathetic to her plight, to how hard it is to leave your family, whether it's your first or tenth deployment. But to simply not show up. Nope. No sympathy. Think about what would happen if every solider who'd rather not go to Iraq just didn't show up. Unfortunately it would NOT end the war over there......if it would I'd be all for it. But it would make our casualties even worse. The military has a job to do, a mission, and while some of us wish for it not to have such a mission, (yep, even military spouses don't like the war....but I totally support my troops!) our men and women of the military MUST do their duty.....for the others in the unit, for themselves. Failure is not an option. Obviously military life is not a good place for someone who can't come to accept it's terms. My opinion....she needs to be punished for going AWOL. The child care thing is not, and never was/will be a reason for punishment. But failure to show up is. I do think, however, that if it was planned, her plan will back firing on her....I think there is a distinct probablity that she knew what would happen and was banking on a hardship discharge.....just like many before have gotten....but the difference is that this is turning into a media circus. And that means her fate is not going to be as easily decided. The military doesn't like bad PR but they also have to make sure that whatever they do doesn't make other soliders decide to copy-cat her actions. The hardship discharges are almost never in the media...but they happen pretty often. And one has to wonder how the media even got the story.

There is more to this story that we're not being told. As a military family I can tell you that this does not happen as reported. As it said in the article, single parents are required to have a care plan (actually, all parents have to have a care plan.....dual military parents often have the same dilemma when both are deployable). That said, however, if the plan falls through whether before or during deployment, they would NEVER tell a parent to put their kid in foster care. That's very against all military philosphy that I've encountered in 20+ years as a military wife, on many different bases, and two different branches (Army and Air Force). Obviously I know nothing about this this soldier, but I can say that there are a lot of soliders that join for the benefits, especially education, and then when they are called upon to deploy as they promised they balk at the idea of being in harms way. It seems odd to me that this Grandmother is capable of caring for "up to 14 children" at a time in her day care, but will not keep her own flesh and blood. Perhaps she should turn away a couple of the day care children to make room/time to care for her own grandchild. Unless of course, they figured out that if baby has no where to go then Mom won't have to go either. The timing is interesting to say the least. They also don't throw a parent in jail for failure to have a working plan.....there are consequences, but jail isn't one of them that I've ever heard. Her commanding officer would put the screws to her to deal with the problem.....I've seen where a solider is assigned a desk and a phone so that they can focus on resolving the problem without other things interrupting. If I had to guess, I'd say that they already told the commander that she intended to not deploy because of the child....and the commander gave her orders (and the resources/time needed) to come up with an alternate plan. The only way I can imagine them jailing her is if the commander became aware that she was purposely defying his order, in other words the jail time is NOT about the lack of child care. And think about this....if they put her in jail, or court martial her and she then has to spend a year (or whatever) in jail, who's going to care for the baby then? Gee, civilian prisioners that can't find someone to take the child end up having Social Services take the child and place them in foster care. Would Grandma suddenly step up then?? If she's not deployable because the child has no where to go they can separate her from the military......it's usually a dishonorable discharge which means she loses any benefits (though she hasn't been in long enough to really have any except "veteran" status). Of course that may be what they are bucking for anyway. If this story continues in the public eye, mark my words, there is more to it than we're getting right now. My scenarios may not be accurate, as there are a million alternatives of course, but there is more to this than jailing a solider for not having child care.

My DH put a bathroom style exhaust fan near the oven, so when I do things that will smoke/smell I just flip it on. It exhausts through the attic and out a pipe in the roof, same as the bathroom ones.

"It's just a life we want"....that pretty much sums up OUR philosphy of homeschool vs. public school. You just have to be careful not to verbalize that because it always seems to come out sounding superior (which I secretly believe we are, but won't ever condemn someone for different choices). As for the Santa....my teen is still believing in Santa...enough that when I said no, I wasn't going to get her an video ipod she responded with "Well, I'll just ask Santa" (Santa gave her the mp3 last year). I have no problem with my children being naive or having an active enough imagination to still believe that someone other than their parents swoops in and gives them gifts. I'm all for it. They grow up quickly enough I'm not interested in pushing them from behind. And if they're 25 and still believing in Santa than their Dad or I will sneak into their apartment and leave something! We chose a different path from most people and our children reflect that path. They are very smart and not embarassed to show it (but hopefully without attitude, lol).....we know too many smart public schoolers who speak and act around other PSers as though they were much less so....and yet when the PSers are gone they'll engage their brains again with us. Because it's ok to be smart in my house. And expected. My children, even my teen, will still scoop up my hand when we're in public and hold it unabashedly....and they never ask me to drop them off a block away....and they don't avoid me at social gatherings....and heavens! they'll even hug and kiss me when others can see. And I'm proud of them for that and wouldn't change a thing. I never try to change someone else's mind if they express the belief that our way is somehow wrong or harmful.....I simply accept that they believe that and I don't. I no longer have a bloody forehead for pounding it against the wall since I've taken this attitude. When people insist on trying to change ME, I simply listen nod, make appropriate non-committal comments and plot my exit. When someone gets in my face about it, I simply tell them to spend some time with my kids before they decide they are social misfits or whatever.....the proof is in the pudding and frankly, most of the people bold enough to push me too far are the ones with children who are the most troubled (i.e. less than smart, brats, social misfits, troublemakers etc). And honestly, I will do everything in my power to be sure MY kids don't turn out like theirs....so I will zig when that family zags, lol. And......I try to remember Shakespeare ...."methinks thou dost protest too much" and feel pity for them. You won't change them, they won't change you, so be the wiser and remember this and just move on. Because in my experience....they never will.

In this day and age, I would make all the stink about it that I could. The principal, the teacher(s) of any classes they are in together, the school security and the local police. I would be polite but firm that this could just be an idle threat, but that it could also be a prelude to real physical danger for your daughter and you expect all the authorities above to protect her while on their campus. No if ands or buts. I know many schools have zero tolerance for this type of behavior now, hopefully your school does. Besides the obvious reasons for making the stink, you may have the added benefit of it all becoming official record should you still have hearings coming up in the divorce case about the choice of homeschooling. If there are no ongoing hearings, but things escalate or get worse, I'd also speak with your divorce attorney about requesting a hearing on the matter. The schools in Arizona take things like this VERY seriously. We recently had a school evacuated because of a text received by several students that a boy was going to get even with a girl for breaking up with him and telling the students/friends to cut first period. The school was checked thoroughly for bombs, the boy that texted was detained by police. It was altogether a scary thing to watch on the breaking news.....and I don't even know any students at that school! I truly believe that if your family was here in Arizona the school would take immediate and in some respects over the top action. I understand why they take these serious, but when it turns out to be idle threats it always sounds over the top....but I've concluded I'd rather that than the swat team and ambulances on the news. And yes anything posted or emailed over the Internet or by texting on a cell phone can be traced back to the original device that sent it. Even if deleted. Big Brother is alive and well, lol. Our library accounts contain a warning that if you keep the reading record that it can be turned over to the local police if they have a warrant. I often wonder what our diverse reading history would say about us to the police, lol. :grouphug: I'm sorry you're going through this and hope that it comes to a quick and calm resolution soon.

:iagree: And if you doubt it, think back to some of the disgusting posts that are quickly (thank you moderators!) deleted because they were explicit. Often times these occur after a thread like this one where * are not used. Not always, but it has followed a pattern over the years. Which, because some didn't use *, means we're probably in store for another deleted thread over the next week or so, lol.

We bought a lunch bag for my DH...in the Walmart Sporting Goods department so no Spiderman or whatever on it. It zips shut, has a plastic removable liner and the top unzips and expands if he ever needs extra room. It cost about $10 and we just this summer replaced the one that we bought him when he started this job, 7 years ago....so that's like $1.50 a year? We replaced it because the zipper broke and I decided it wasn't worth my time to replace it....because I hate sewing zippers, lol.

Sorry, but at age 16 I don't care if she had every penny for it, that would NEVER be allowed in our home. So she better have the funds to move out as well. Tacky. But then, looking at the bra type shirt that the Mother of the Bride is wearing....well, the saying the apple doesn't fall far from the tree comes to mind. Of course if a tinker/tinsmith can afford $165,810 (US DOLLARS) for a wedding, well, maybe my DH needs to reevaluate his career choice! Especially if they only work 5 months a year.

Glad to hear he's doing well! And yeah, it is a bit freaky the first time you play hooky from homeshcooling.....but once you realize that the roof didn't fall in on you, the homeschool police don't show up at the front door, and your son didn't forget everything he's ever learned.....it's very liberating and exciting to see the possibilities open up to take his education seriously, but to be open to injecting it with out of the box ideas when the opportunity arises. When I think back on all the community events, friends in need, mental health days, it's-gorgeous-weather, and other times that we have skipped formal school to do something else, I realize that our homeschool days would be much less rich, much less diversified, and much more mundane without them! Throw in a couple of good deeds and life-lessons and well, it's a major reason to homeschool!

How about he spend the morning reading a history or science or biography type book. In the afternoon he can do the legos (which is educational in many ways). We school year round so that when days/weeks like this come up we don't have to stress over not doing "enough" schooltime. So keep in mind that you can always make up a day or two by simply increasing your school time by 30-60 minutes a day for a week or two. Even if your state requires attendance you should be able to make it up at a later time....I mean what if he were hospitalized with his injury, obviously doing school there wouldn't work. If adding time to a different week doesn't work because he can't sit still for that much longer, then just tack these missed days on to the end of your school year. I believe that's what happens on the East Coast when they close the schools for snow days. Happy Birthday to your son! And hope the foot gets better fast.

You can interchange equal amounts of honey and sugar in a bread machine receipe.....we do it all the time because I prefer to use honey.

So it's just doctor, pronounced like English does....whoo hoo, that will make this much easier, lol. Thank you.

I wouldn't change a thing! Imagination is one of the hardest things to hold on to as you mature......I'm proud of my kids, even my teen, and their great imagination. We used to have all sorts of characters appear at class time and I just went with the flow....as they have aged they're less demanding that I address them as Your Highness or Superman, but it hasn't really stopped the dressing up. Of course Pajamas are also a very popular fashion around here....for mom too. Your post made me giggle and think that someday I should come down to class with a dress and tiara. Hmmmmm, maybe this week!

My daughter is taking 1st year Latin....we just learned that her teacher passed his orals and is now officially a Doctor (of Philosphy). When we meet this afternoon she'd like to greet him with Hello Doctor instead of our typical Hello/Greetings Teacher (Salvete Magistra) The closest I could find online was medicus but I'm not clear if that's doctor or medicine and I'd hate for her to say Greetings Medicine, lol. I also found a page that talked about doctoris but made it appear that was Greek not Latin. Being that I'm new to Latin as well as my daughter I don't have a clue, lol. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

My daughter is taking 1st year Latin....we just learned that her teacher passed his orals and is now officially a Doctor (of Philosphy). When we meet this afternoon she'd like to greet him with Hello Doctor instead of our typical Hello/Greetings Teacher (Salvete Magistra) The closest I could find online was medicus but I'm not clear if that's doctor or medicine and I'd hate for her to say Greetings Medicine, lol. I also found a page that talked about doctoris but made it appear that was Greek not Latin. Being that I'm new to Latin as well as my daughter I don't have a clue, lol. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Well, as a teen I found my dad's erotica books in his dresser when I was putting away his laundry (the drawer was too full to fit any more so I was taking it all out to put away neater hoping to fit....and there they were under his knickers, lol). I didn't take them right then, but they stuck in my mind for quite some time and eventually I did sneak back in and take them to read privately. I wasn't then, nor am I now, a deviant. I wasn't abused. I wasn't "active". I just had heard about "it" from school programs, from my mother's birds/bees talk, and of course from the high school kids in the neighborhood. So, yeah, I was very curious. Of course, years later when marital bliss wasn't quite the same as the Happy Hooker's bliss, it was a bit of a let down, lol....until some frank discussions with my DH about why I was disappointed. I do also understand the pp saying it's a double standard. I never got caught with my Dad's book, but I think I would have cried foul if he'd punished me for reading it but it was ok for him to read. He was expecting me to behave more like an adult (the added chores and responsibilities, my behavior, etc), but other adult things were off limits. Now....I found Dad's book by accident and while I'd likely have a problem now as the parent to my child then taking it.....if your book was hidden away and therefore she was snooping instead of just accidently finding it....I'd probably focus my punishment more on that aspect. In my house snooping and invading privacy is a serious offense. I would also caution you to keep the conversations as unemotionally charged as possible. Not only do you not want to give the impression that sexual feelings are somehow objectionable in and of themselves (which I presume you don't think they are, your objection appears to be her age vs the maturity of the subject matter)....but you also don't want to close off her willingness to talk to you. It's a tough battle because you're reaction is understandable....you're not ready for her to be taking the steps into adulthood that she apparently is starting......but at the same time if you close the conduit of conversation it will be very difficult to ever open it again, on this or other subjects. Proceed with caution, though that doesn't mean condoning it.....it a slippery slope with no clear instructions that I've yet to find. But the communication is vitally important to me, perhaps moreso than this serious subject and it's consequences.

My heart goes out to him. Please try to encourage him to talk with his unit's counselor about this....the last thing he needs right now is to have his head/heart somewhere other than on his duty. Distraction can be extremely dangerous. I know the guys tend to think that emotions are something they don't want to talk about with their military friends/leaders but it's important that he does for his own safety as well as those depending on him. As for the reporting of troop movement.....troops are coming and going every week.....the information that OP posted is not sufficient to help anyone wishing to do harm. We get more details in our local newspaper than "March". While I agree that you don't want to give DETAILS, a month is not detail. Had she said he's coming home on March 5 at XYZ airport that is detailed enough that it shouldn't be discussed. Fact is most families don't get true details until a very short time before arrival....they may know "in the next week" but not that it's Monday until a day or two before....and the newspapers have even less. I'm not bashing you for the warning, it is a good reminder anytime, just trying to make sure that OP doesn't worry that she's put her nephew in danger by her comment. She has enough to worry about.