Certainly there are social problems associated with divorce- more children growing up in a single parent household (as I was, please don't think I'm bashing single mothers!), and the problems that can accompany that- but they are not exclusive to divorce. A parent can go to prison and remain married, or one parent die. I'm not sure what standard of marriage you are referring to- it seems there are as many different kinds of marriages as there are couples.

The person most likely to make that call: a medical doctor because that kind of change would only occur after an extreme illness or injury. I'm talking about old neural pathways being destroyed (which would be visible in a brain scan) and new ones forming. I had a full time job when my husband and I got married. I stay at home now. That change doesn't make me a different person. If I had a head injury and went from being a stay at home, future homeschooling mother, to a "party girl" who had no interest in spending time with my kids, then I would be a different person. It is certainly not as simple as one just saying the other has changed. I'm talking about an irreversible, profound change at the core of a person.

I completely agree with you, and if a civil union had been available in my area when we got married, and it provided all the protections a marriage would, we absolutely would have gone that route. Our marriage is a contract between the two of us, nothing more. (Well, and the government, I suppose.)

I think that is the kind of thing that needs to be discussed by the couple before they get married. "We" shouldn't have any say in why a couple stays together or gets divorced. The couple are the only people that can draw those lines for themselves. If I were to get divorced because my husband shaved his beard, that doesn't affect your marriage in any way at all.

The vows I took said "As long as we both shall live." We take that to mean as long as we are both physically alive OR as long as our brains function (to a degree) the same as they did the day we got married. (For clarification: we understand dead to be brain dead, even if the heart and lungs are still functioning.) For us, that means a brain injury that causes forgetfulness is not cause to dissolve our vows, but an injury that would cause one of us to have a completely different personality and way of thinking is. In that case, as we see it, the person we married died. A new person is walking around in their body. However, assuming science fiction is real :001_smile:, if my husband's brain were transplanted into another body, I would still be married to my husband. A physical injury or illness that does not affect the brain is not grounds for divorce for us, unless the divorce is for financial reasons and is on paper only. All that being said: time to answer your question! :001_smile: A verbal agreement was not enough for us. We wanted it to be very difficult for us to end our relationship because ending it is not something we would want to do on a whim. We wanted to be legally bound to each other because feelings are fleeting and emotions are fickle. We know there will come a time when one of us doesn't feel "in love" with the other. If we were just dating, that would be a good enough reason to end our relationship, but just not liking each other isn't a good enough reason for both of us to get lawyers and get divorced. We also wanted all of the legal benefits and responsibilities that come with being married (for example: him automatically being able to make medical decisions for me should I not be able to, him being able to be added to my insurance, etc.).

I'm not religious, and I believe the "soul" resides in the brain. If something happens to that brain that completely changes the core of that person, then the "soul" is dead, regardless of the state of the body. If my husband were to have an injury that caused him to forget our life together and no longer desire/be able to create a new life with me, then, for all practical purposes, my husband would be dead. There would be a new, different person walking around in his body. ETA: I realized I didn't answer the question. I married the person that his brain created. If you want to call that a personality (I wouldn't), or if you want to call it a soul, whatever. I married the core of who he is, which, by extreme illness or injury, can be lost/changed.

We are planning on using Sid the Science Kid for kindergarten. http://www.pbs.org/parents/sid/activitiesIndex.html PBS has activities ("investigations") to go along with every episode, and they look pretty fun. It touches on a ton of different topics, but doesn't really go in to depth on anything. Added bonus: it's free.

Funny you should say that, I'd forgotten (blocked out?) the time I had to take the younger youth out of the sanctuary while the pastor cast out a demon from someone. It was...interesting to say the least.

I suppose I should add that the church I felt was most genuine has since left (or maybe been expelled from, I don't know) the Assemblies of God and is now an independent church.

I grew up in the Assembly of God church, but left the church when I was 18. I am no longer a Christian, so that may color my opinions. The pros: Some of the most genuine people I've ever known were involved in the A/G church. The churches tend to be on the smaller side, but are very focused on building a community. Missions is a big focus in the church, but locally and overseas. The fine arts competition is fun. http://faf.ag.org/ The church (from my experience) is very come-as-you-are. Appearance (tattoos, piercings, etc. don't affect one's ability to be accepted.) And probably a many other things I don't remember. The cons: (Keep in mind, these assume you agree that the gifts of the spirit as the A/G church represents them are real and available to everyone. If you don't, you will likely be very uncomfortable in the A/G church.) There is a very strong emphasis on speaking in tongues. I don't think it's intentional, but it is very easy to get discouraged if you don't speak in tongues. I have known people that questioned their very salvation because they didn't yet speak in tongues. There can be a great deal of fakery because of the emphasis on the gifts of the spirit. I've known people that fake speaking in tongues, and I've heard what was considered a false interpretation of a message in tongues. (A public message, not the private prayer language kind. It seemed either the speaker, interpreter, or both were trying to show off and gave a gibberish message.) I've had guest preachers forcefully lay on hands while praying with me- to the extent I could tell they were trying to "help" me get slain in the spirit. (Basically, they were trying to push me down.) The emphasis on worship can often turn into a performance for the congregation instead of God. I often felt that people were a little too concerned if they were off key- I really don't think God has a pitch pipe out when listening to a joyful noise! In one of the churches I went to, worship felt like a concert. It can be a very foreign experience to a first time visitor, and can be particularly scary to a young child if they don't know what to expect. ETA: I do agree that there can be a lot of emotion and hysterics- it can be hard to tell the difference between a genuine emotion and crowd hysterics, ya know? Depending on the individual church, there can be a bit too much emphasis on getting people saved, and not as much on keeping people saved (helping people grow in the Lord and such).

My DD is almost four and loves doing art too. Some of her favorite things are: Powdered tempera paint (around $5 for a huge jar) Watercolor paint (I don't go for quality here- she can use up a set in three sessions) A variety of types of paint brushes- big ones, little ones, foam, mop-style, etc. Tissue paper and glue for collages Lots of cut up pieces of cardboard for canvasses Foam stamps Yarn (cheap acrylic) Pony beads and pipe cleaners and a decent pair of scissors. DD is left-handed, so these were a must. I know some people disagree, but I don't think really high quality supplies are necessary at this age. I think offering a wide variety of materials and the freedom to use them however the artist sees fit are most important.

I have a 4 year old. I'm 7 months pregnant. And my husband is working on his PhD 7 days a week. For the past week or two he leaves before we wake up and comes home for dinner, leaves again, and comes home for the night around midnight. I'm over it, too.

DD greeted DH with "Mommy bought ice cream!" today. Little tattle-tale.

I didn't grow up with my dad around, but my mom is extremely handy. She could fix most things around the house (except plumbing- which she got my grandpa to do). She taught me and my sister how to do quite a bit, though the lessons didn't really stick on her. :001_smile:

I've rented four different places from the same management company in my town. We have deep cleaned every place we left- this past time (only a few weeks ago)- we got docked $35 for professional floor cleaning, but I think that is standard practice for our management company. The last place we left we got charged $50 for floor cleaning and cleaning the oven. I made sure DH cleaned the oven this time. :) We figure that since we only have a rental history with this company, and we're relatively young, we really want them to like us if we need them for a reference when we finally move out of state.

The trainer may also be trying to see if your goals are realistic- for example, if your natural body shape tends towards Kate Winslet, it's probably not realistic for you to want to look more like Demi Moore.

This is basically the floorplan for our downstairs. We live in a townhouse, so it's pretty tiny, but I like having everyone in the same room. Once the baby is here, I may not like it as much, but for now, it works really well.

I just got it. Does anyone have experience with the off-brand laminating pouches? They're about half the price of the Scotch brand, so hopefully they'll work well. :001_smile:

I don't think you can get a mercury thermometer, but I've gotten an alcohol thermometer at Walmart within the past year.

I graduated in 2004, taking AP English. My senior year we read at least 4 novels (The Sun Also Rises, The Invisible Man, Heart of Darkness, Things Fall Apart, and probably a few that I don't remember off the top of my head) as well as at least two or three plays. My husband graduated in 2002 from "regular" English. He read several novels in his classes. My sister in law is in 9th grade in the same district, and she has read at least two novels so far.

This may or may not work with a child, but I had to train DH when we first moved in together. I would completely stop talking and stare at him every time he would interrupt me. After he was done, I would ask if it was my turn yet. After about a month he finally realized what he was doing and stopped for the most part. I had to explain to him that when someone interrupts another person, it makes the interrupted feel like they don't matter. The interrupter is saying that their opinions and ideas are vastly more important than anything the other person could possibly say. He genuinely had no idea people feel that way since his family interrupts all the time- talking over each other and everything. It makes me absolutely crazy.

This is the first thing I insist on people buying when they are setting up house. My sister found out to listen to me the hard way. :lol:

My grandmother-in-law is a hoarder. MIL and her siblings have been working for the past few years to get her home livable, but I don't think she resents them too much for it. G-MIL is in a wheelchair, and there really isn't anywhere else for her to go at this time. My MIL also tends towards hoarding, but she mostly has good stuff in boxes. She probably has some sort of compulsive shopping issues too. I think most of her issues are being overwhelmed and not having enough time, though she has said that she has a very sentimental attachment to objects. The majority of her stuff stays in her office, but that's mostly because FIL will throw things away if they migrate out. My 15 year old sister-in-law may also have some issues, but I think most of her problem is not knowing how to clean and organize. I will help my MIL sort through things, but I don't throw anything away or try to convince her to throw things away. I will, however, talk to my SIL about it and force her to throw things away. I don't throw things away for her, but I will strongly suggest that she doesn't need half-completed worksheets from last year's English class. Before Thanksgiving I spent at least 18 hours cleaning and surface organizing the living room, SIL's bedroom, and the guest room at MIL's house. We just barely got it done enough to be suitable for holiday company.

I agree- an epidural doesn't seem to fit with the rest of her wishes very much. But, to answer your question- it sounds like she wants you there to do the same thing I want my mom to do when it's time for this baby. I want my mom to be able to look me dead in the eye and remind me "You can do this!" and rub my back. I want to tell a nurse "no drugs" and have my mom say "she said no drugs!" I want her to tell my husband to wake his lazy butt up and pay attention to me when I need him to. I want her to ask the nurse/doctor "what are you giving her?" every time before they stick me with a needle. I want a natural birth in a hospital- there aren't birth centers or a lot of doulas around here. I'm counting on my mom to help make that happen.

I knew everything at 18- I left home permanently (to live with my now-husband two hours away from home) at 19. By about 20/21, I realized I didn't really know anything again. :lol: I think your plan sounds reasonable. I would do a price list spreadsheet of all the expenses associated with living in an apartment. For an example, I'll put our family's expenses in. We're three people living in Mississippi in a fairly small townhouse, so I'm not sure how it will compare to your situation: rent- $575 electricity- averages $120 gas- n/a water/sewer/trash- $35 groceries- $250 non-food groceries and household needs (toilet paper, etc.)- $100 Cable/Internet- $60 total- $1140 That comes to $380 split three ways, and that's not including any gasoline, car insurance, clothing, restaurant money, cell phone, or entertainment. Even assuming she's bringing home at least $500 a month, it seems like she'd have a pretty meager existence living outside the home. Then, there are the realities of living with roommates. If she is thinking of living with two guys, she needs to realize she will end up being the dishwasher/laundry person/dedicated maid. It WILL happen. Try to get her to look at http://myveryworstroommate.com/ It's filled with stories of people thinking their roommate situation is going to be great, only to find out they are living with crazy slobs. If she's desperate to move out, a much safer way that may be a good compromise is having her live at a community college. She could still possibly live in a dorm (so not in your house), but she would still be in college.