I think it is very challenging, but I think a lot of that has to do with my introversion. When I worked outside the home I was working with people, but then I would come home and just be quiet. I had a lot more time to think, and I could conserve my "people" energy so as to be successfully interactive at work. I feel a lot stupider as a mom, honestly, as I am always living beyond my people capacity and it shuts down my brain. You know how you feel sort of "dopey" when you haven't had enough sleep? I feel like being a mom has kind of made me function like that all of the time. It is worth it, but I find it difficult. Elaine

This is what I believe as well. I think our priorities are often very different; I'm focused on that parking spot while God is working out a place of selfishness in my heart. A lot of our faith journey is learning to hold His hand in the midst of whatever circumstances we are experiencing moment by moment. Elaine

I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: We've been through this scenario as well, and it is super hard. I would agree with other posters who have mentioned how common it seems to be for men, especially, to remarry very shortly after losing their spouse. I do think that your grief and your sister's grief is equally important with your dad's grief and should be allowed out in the open. I wouldn't uninvite the new lady, but I would say something like, "Dad, I'm so glad that you are making lots of important connections with friends, both new and old. This has been such a difficult time for you! It has been so hard for us, too. Thinking about this upcoming holiday without mom is really hard, and I have to be honest and let you know that seeing your new friend there when mom isn't will probably bring up a lot of sad feelings for me. I'm glad she can come and I don't want you to feel bad for moving ahead with your life because that is what we all want for you. I just want to share with you as my dad that I'm still really grieving right now." Prayers for you all as you journey through this season- Elaine

Ha! Is this from a real letter you have received? Elaine

I love spending time with my mom! I don't get to see her as often as I would like. Elaine

Our family uses Covenant Eyes, which is created by Christians but could be used by anyone. It sends a record of every accessed website to whoever you want and ranks sites according to content. I'm not sure if it would tell you about specific conversations within a site, though. It does sometimes highlight this site when I view a thread with words like "sex" in it, so it might work for your needs. You would probably have to write the support people with your specific questions to be certain. HTH- Elaine

Thanks, all! That is a great idea to watch some you tube videos. I wouldn't have thought of doing that, but it should give me a much better idea of the game. I appreciate all of your input. Elaine

Hmmmm....I thought you were going to ask for advice on how to prepare for your 5oth anniversary special viewing party and I thought, "What a great idea!" :party: Elaine

Thanks ladies, this is helpful input. I'm still not sure what I think, but I'll show this info to dh and we can talk it over. Thanks! Elaine

My ds13 is requesting the game Skyrim for Christmas. Apparently it is a role playing game, and I am a bit leary of those when I don't know who is writing the stories. Have any of you played this or have kids that play? Do you think it is appropriate for a 13 year old? Elaine

This has happened to me many times and so I know how scary it can feel! :grouphug: I can start to feel panic when the bleeding is so heavy and just won't stop. I have seen several doctors about it, but the only real solution offered is to get an IUD or take birth control, which aren't acceptable options for me. The guidelines I've been given are to get medical help if I start to feel lightheaded or if I keep soaking through a maxipad an hour without slowing down after a few hours. It also helps me to take heavy doses of advil and drink a lot of water. I'm not sure why, but the advil seems to slow the bleeding down. Elaine

Yes! Fruitcake made with real fruits and nuts is actually yummy. I make some every year at Christmas. People are always surprised when they try it because in America you customarily see it made with bizarrely colored "fruit" bits that taste like sweetened plastic. (Is that true in other countries as well? Do other countries even have fruitcake or is it an American thing? Pardon my ignorance......) Elaine

This varies so much from person to person, I think it is very hard to predict her final size. As an adult with an A cup, I understand her self-consciousness. The important thing is to help her feel at home in her body so that she knows she is beautiful regardless of what size she becomes. Elaine

I have noticed that most of the articles/ commentary I have read on adoption lately are negative, often indictments of "the adoption industry". Although I agree that there are changes that need to be made in the process, the ethical issues involved are very complex and can easily be simplified into the vilifying large groups of diverse people with varying motives and practices. The very term "adoption industry", which seems to have become a standard label, is unfair, in my opinion. It implies a mass production of a product for economic gain. Yes, I do have an adopted child, and I do worry about the effect of this trend on his personal journey. I don't want strangers judging him or his background or making unwarranted assumptions about his experiences. Finding your identity as an adopted person can be challenging enough without that, and I feel that every adopted person has the right to have ownership of their own story without the obligation of others narrations. (Actually, I feel the same way about people projecting an "adoption is the wonderful salvation of a child!" narrative on someone else). I guess I wish that we could focus on specific changes rather than painting a black and white picture of adoption as a whole. And I do think that those actually involved in doing something to make changes or actually a part of the adoption triad are best able to speak into the situation. These are just my thoughts, and not intended as a judgement of anyone who has commented on this thread. Elaine

This was my first reaction as well! I'm glad you're able to move on with your life. Elaine

I'm so sorry, Joanne! :grouphug: I'm glad you are alive, though! Elaine

Actually, my adopted ds did find the Stuart Little movie traumatizing because of the portrayal of adoption related issues. I had to take him out toward the end of the film. OP, I agree that A Wrinkle in Time was so badly, badly done as a film! Just awful. And I love the book. Another terrible movie is The Westing Game. I think we watched it off of Netflix. I loved the book as a kid and was so disappointed by what they did with the film. It was strangely bad...like they were trying to destroy it or something. Odd. Elaine

Speaking of trekking through Asia......I am about a chapter away from finishing A Bridge for Passing by Pearl S. Buck. It offers interesting insight into the Japan of 1960 where the author travels to participate in the process of her book The Big Wave being made into a film. It is also a memoir of her experience in grieving the death of her husband and finding her life on the other side of grief. I have enjoyed it, but I think I would recommend her autobiographical book My Several Worlds over this one. Elaine

And although I admit to never having read the Twilight books, I have read Wuthering Heights and I'm willing to bet money that it is much better written. If you are going to read about weird stalker "love", at least make it a classic. :) Elaine

I have no medical expertise, but if it were my daughter I think I would try to get the allergy testing. If it were anxiety related, you would think that the reaction would occur at unpredictable times rather than only when eating dairy or wheat. At least the testing would give you some more objective information that would help you decide what to do next. Hope you get some answers! Elaine

Prayed for this family! Elaine

Well, I have been absent from this thread all summer and am significantly behind on my book count, but here I am checking in again. I love to hear what you all are reading! This week, I read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. I was a bit disappointed by it, to tell the truth. The characters just didn't seem real to me and the plot was just a little too predictable. It was a restful, easy read, but I don't think I will be recommending it to friends. My favorite books from this summer have been The Habit of Being, which is a collection of the letters of Flannery O'Connor, and Original Sin: A Cultural History which takes a look at the development of the doctrine of original sin and some of its effects on Western thought and society. Here is a list of books read so far: 1. The Memory Keeper's Daughter (Kim Edwards) 2. How to Read Church History vol. 1: From the Beginnings to the Fifteenth Century (Jean Comby) 3. Death Comes for the Archbishop (Willa Cather) 4. The Lake of Dreams (Kim Edwards) 5. The Gift of Imperfection (Brene Brown) 6. Mary Emma and Company (Ralph Moody) 7. Silas Marner (George Eliot) 8. Les Miserables (Victor Hugo) 9. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith) 10. She Stoops to Conquer (Oliver Smith) 11. Julian of Norwich: A Contemplative Biography (Amy Frykholm) 12. Strong Poison (Dorothy Sayers) 13. The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O'Connor (Flannery O'Connor) 14. Finding Dolores: An Adoptee's Midlife Search for the Beginning (Thomas Muldary) 15. 44 Scotland Street (Alexander McCall Smith) 16. Surprised By Truth (Patrick Madrid) 17. Original Sin: A Cultural History (Alan Jacobs) 18. Espresso Tales (Alexander McCall Smith) 19.Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality (Donald Miller) 20. To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father (Donald Miller) 21. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Mary Ann Shaffer) Elaine

I wish we had a list of the books she read! Elaine

Could you elaborate a bit on what you didn't like about your experience? We are registered for a class in the fall. Elaine

With a co-op class I'm taught last term, I outlined the kids papers that they turned in and gave them the outline when I returned their papers. It helped them to see what content they had actually communicated. I think it is very easy for young writers to use a lot of words but say very little, and having the outline helps prevent that. It also reveals whether or not you've sufficiently supported your points with evidence and analysis. I sort of see it as a diagnostic. If the kid is very opposed to writing from an outline, you could have them do this for themselves post- composition and see if they've accomplished their purpose before giving you the paper. Elaine