It's probably just ignorance about probate that causes all the comments. If your dad had spent all his money on the expensive treatments, the hospital couldn't go after you for the money. If the hospital submitted the bill after the close of probate after assets had been distributed, then they wouldn't be able to come to you for the money. But the hospital was on the ball and timely submitted the claim against the estate. The estate has assets sufficient to pay all the creditors so the hospital is entitled to have the bill paid. Car payments and mortgage bills don't magically go away either. Banks are pretty good about getting their claims into probate. Christine

We're loving that the new place is within walking distance of BART, the library and grocery store. The only places we have to drive are preschool for DDs and to church. I saw a listing in our soon to be old neighborhood and was sad until I realized that where we live now is an additional 10 minutes each way from everything. My 11 year old Neon is on its last legs and mileage is definitely figuring into what we're considering for the new car. Christine W

master of divinity. I also think about getting a master's in public policy or finding a business school that has a specialization in managing nonprofits. An LLM in tax might be fun too. Christine W

We live in an affluent area with lots of library book sales. I haven't seen that here. Then again I mostly shop the kid's section and often wait until the end for the $2 a bag sale. I'd have no problem with the practice--if I ever saw it. As long as the dealers aren't getting special privileges like early entry to the sale, it seems fine. Christine W

There's a chapter in NurtureShock about this. According to the authors, its important to talk about the brain being a muscle that gets stronger with use and with challenges. Also, they cite a study where kids were given an easy test followed by a harder test. One set of students were praised for being smart after scoring well on the easy test while the other group was told that they must have worked hard. Both sets scored badly on the second too hard test. When the "smart" kids were given the easy test again, they scored much worse (20%)but the "study hard" kids did much better (30%). In a separate group of kids, students were offered a choice on the second test: another grade level test or a harder test that would teach them a lot, 90% of the work hard kids chose the harder test while a majority of the you're smart kids chose the easy test again. They key is not to base praise on innate ability, but to teach a child that intelligence can be developed and to emphasize effort. Christine W

Looks like the hospital has just agreed to let the baby die at home. They will not perform the trach and the MI hospital has declined to treat him. Parents are trying to get the MI hospital to review the denial. My heart aches for them. However, I feel that if two hospitals have independently decided that its not in the baby's best interest to give him a trach, then this is the best solution for everyone. I haven't figured out how to do links from my Mac but its one of the lead stories on Fox News. Christine

Don't feel bad. I feel bad about some lowball offers that we've seen on houses around here. One house had been purchased for 975 in 2007, the owners spent 150k on remodeling and fixing the drainage. It sold for 779 after sitting on the market for more than a year. I cried when we lost the bid for that house--winning bid offered 50% cash down. We just bought a fantastic home in a great neighborhood for 250k less than it was appraised for two years ago. The home had a reverse mortgage that had to be paid off this month and owner had no wiggle room. (We did offer 1k over asking price but the realtor messed up-three neighbors came by and yelled at the daughter for listing it so low). But that's the reality of the market right now. Only desperate people are selling. However, in a sane universe--even the prices of foreclosures here are too high. If it makes you feel better about buying a foreclosed property, the bank doesn't have to write down the loss until it sells the property. So buying a foreclosed property makes the bank take a hit. Christine ps. we couldn't buy a foreclosed property because we've yet to see one that would pass an FHA inspection.

When my DS5 was 14 mos he had the amoxycillin rash. It took about 10 days for it to clear up. It got worse for about 2 days after he stopped taking the antibiotic. I'm pretty sure the dr had us give him benadryl. Christine

Thank you.

l If the living parent changed the will, then both siblings could be co-executors over the will of the surviving parent. The executor couldn't appoint the sister to serve with her on her own that is the responsibility of the person who wrote the will. Parent didn't change a decades old will even though parent later gave POA to another child. No court will touch this without proof of abuse of other assets. A verbal assurance that the executor position wasn't about the money won't hold water for a host of legal reasons. The POA child has no legal recourse. The siblings have no grounds to contest appointment of the oldest sister as trustee and since it appears that the sister fulfilled her duties then it would be a waste of resources to sue b/c the siblings will lose and attorney fees will be out of their own pockets. They can confront sister and ask for her to return the fee. They can be mad. But otherwise they are SOL. My guess is that big sis underestimated the time and energy in settling the estate and felt entitled to the fee. There is a reason why giving the executor $ to settle probate is the norm--it can be a big headache and involves a lot of time. Siblings should just let it go.

Legally, the executor is entitled to the money. It would have been nice if she had declined the fee, but she didn't. Siblings can confront her and ask her to return it but that's pretty much all they can do. Big sis may have reasons for keeping the fee beyond her lawyer advising her to take it. It was up to the surviving parent to revise their will, he/she didn't. If the POA sibling had wanted to be an executor, s/he should have taken it up with the surviving parent. Unless some assets went into trust upon the death of the first parent, I don't see how the sister got to decide who was executor. The big takeaway should be: update your will with major life events.

Cullen, Connor, Caleb, Chance, Cooper, Collin

Its six letters long but my best friend in law school was named Lirona--her name means I have singing/joy. I've always thought her name was beautiful. Christine

We have this at all but one tiny library in our system. Every once in a while the scanner will eat my book and not register it but the human at the end of the line who sorts them always seems to catch it b/c its always off my library account when I get home. Our libraries are cutting hours and staff so I know they do this as a cost cutting measure but it does make things easier. And my kids love the big conveyor belt. We also have self checkout (but like a grocery store you can always get a human to check you out too). Christine W

I lost my first at 17 weeks due to triploidy. I went on to have DS and DD1. I had a miscarriage in the April 2008 at 7 1/2 weeks and went on to have DD2 in May 2009. I had pretty severe depression after my first miscarriage and needed counseling and medicine. I was angry about the second loss--an attorney came to court knowing that he was infected with chicken pox and I miscarried soon after. I know he didn't kill my baby but sometimes I wonder. Christine

Huffpo has the list here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/48960742/Borders-Closures The two closest to me aren't closing but the list is huge. CHristine

Same here. Course they were all Irish Catholics. Great Grandpa didn't make the moonshine but he built hundreds of stills which he sold.

I never really got the later books in the series; I think I stopped halfway through. About a decade ago, Orson Scott Card revisited the series with a new series about Ender's jeesh beginning with Ender's Shadow. I enjoyed those books much more and they're more appropriate for young teens. The Alvin Maker series is good and I also liked Pastwatch: the Redemption of Christopher Columbus.

I'd call the ranger about the trees. Many times in national forests, the land is rented in increments of 99 years but not owned by the homeowner. If that is the case then she's destroying government property. Even if it isn't explicitly owned by the feds, the forest is protected and she's committing a felony. I understand the rage in destroying the house; I don't approve but I'm not living her life. Maybe she tried to save the house and no one would help her. But those trees aren't hers to destroy. They belong to all of us. Christine

If it would bother you for William to think that Liam was named after him then don't do it. If someone else's feelings might get hurt <named after one grandfather but not the other> then don't. But if you are just avoiding using the same name then its different enough that it will be clear who is who. But someone will draw the association. Christine

We do, but DH's grandmother lives in Canada and he is a dual citizen. We try to go to her cottage every two years. Christine W

I will definitely keep them in my prayers.

Dh and I have been attending a Presbyterian church since October. At our first service, he "accepted Christ." His father who raised him is Budhist and DH has little to no Bible background at all. For example, our 4 year old was talking about the fiery furnace and he had never heard the story before. He wants a Bible with commentary that will explain to him the basics but he doesn't want a children's Bible. I have the Golden Book Children's Bible and he doesn't want to use that--he wants the real text with study aids. Any suggestions? Our church uses NIV so we probably should start with that. We go to a conservative reformed Church. If the Pastor is quoting anything other than the Bible it is usually either: CS Lewis, NT Wright or Timothy Keller, especially Timothy Keller--the head pastor's daughter attends Keller's church and they are good friends. Thank you, Christine

Based on one of the articles posted, I think the sticking point for dad was when DD told her father that she was sad that he didn't love her enough to want to spend eternity with her in heaven. I'm Christian, but my FIL is not. It would be devastating for him to hear that from one of my kids. We go to a fairly liberal church, where the pastors tend to hew to CS Lewis' theology of heaven and hell. If DH became fundamentalist and one of my kids said that to me b/c they thought I wasn't Christian enough, it would be all out war. I'd probably try to get her to change curriculum first. If mom is teaching DD that Dad doesn't love her b/c he doesn't love Jesus, then that undermines the kid's relationship with dad and is within the purview of the court.

We're buying a house with a small lot on a wooded hill, but I'll have a small space for gardening. I'm hoping to plant blueberries, blackberries and raspberries above the retaining wall (blackberries grow wild here on the trails so once established they shouldn't be much work). I'll plant tomatoes and herbs (basil and mint) in hanging baskets. I really want to make a pole bean teepee but I'll have to decide whether its worth using all that space http://www.kiddiegardens.com/bean_teepee.html since I'll also need some room for cucumbers and zucchini. I'd love some peppers but the kiddos hate them. Any good recommendations for books on container gardens? I live in Sunset climate zone 14 in the East Bay of SF.