I'm really surprised by how lopsided the vote is. The price difference between the two schools is about the sticker price on a new car. DH and I both have professional degrees. Even five years out, the name of our schools still makes a difference. I would not have been considered for the DOJ honors program if I had gone to a lower ranked university. Being in DOJ honors opened many doors and will help if I ever need to return to the job market. Dh's firm posts where everyone graduated from on their website (both undergrad and JD). They wouldn't have interviewed him as a lateral if he didn't go to a top 25 school and he wouldn't be on partner track. Ten years from now, clients will still care where he went to school. Maybe its not fair, but its true. The name of his school won't help him keep the job (we know more than a few Harvard trained lawyers who were laid off), but its foolish to imagine that it didn't make a difference in getting the job and the chance to prove himself. If you had posted that the choice was between a tech ivy and a good state school, I might counsel the other way. If school #2 is the best school in its region and he wants to stay in that region then I'd also reconsider. Additionally, I'd think hard if the tuition difference were 20k a year or more. Choosing Purdue or Cornell (or whatever the school #1 is) will open doors. Once accepted into the program, he will have better opportunities for summer jobs and internships even before he graduates. The better named school will offer him a little wiggle room to mess up. At school #1 he won't have to be the top of his class to get the same job offers as the very best graduate at school #2. Many companies wouldn't even look at resumes from school number #2; grad schools and the feds are getting pickier too. Unless, your son changes his mind about his field, its pointless to wait until grad school to take out the loans. From what I understand, most STEM grad students work for the schools they attend and get a small stipend. Debt doesn't come from tuition or textbooks but occurs where the COL is higher than the stipend. The debt is only a car payment. Dh and I have considerably more debt from law school (in the six figures) and we don't regret it (we do counsel others to either go to a top school or get a full ride). Christine

ITA. The difference between #9 and #79 is huge. At a #9 school, he will have companies trying to recruit him; at a middle of the road school he will have to be the best at his class and chase hard for the jobs. He might even lose out on them to middle of the road students at the school he turned down--I've seen it happen with law schools and with grad schools. The difference in price for the education could be made up within the first year, or the fellowship opportunities. Some of it could probably be made up for in summer internships directly in his field. In some fields, top schools can offer opportunities that frankly don't exist at other schools. My FIL interviews for one of the top science fellowships in the country; it is very difficult (pretty much impossible) to get an interview if you aren't from a select group of elite science/engineering schools and those slots usually go to kids at top tier state schools with strong professor recommendations. Its hard to judge without knowing the field, but I truly believe that the elite science degree will pay for itself. Christine W

I'm sorry. My family is in StL and everyone's nerves are frayed. ETA--praying that you continue to stay safe.

Not in the way you described, but maybe a little. I three kids and the oldest is a spirited five year old boy. DH works long hours and often on Saturdays, At the playground, I've gladly welcomed a dad willing to push my four year old on the swing while I try to coax the two year old down from the slide, or had moms reach for lemonade on the top shelf which I couldn't reach and hold the two year old at the same time, or who held my son's hand during the creek wall at the wildlife center so I could focus on the two smaller kids. I don't expect the help-- and I didn't get it where we used to live--but it sure helps. Christine W

He was just diagnosed with testicular cancer. He has an aggressive form but they are hopeful that they caught it early enough. He has a CT scan scheduled for Monday. He's a single dad to two boys aged 5 and 3. Their mom abandoned them two years ago (he demanded that she choose between her drug addiction and her kids and she choose heroin), and her parental rights have been terminated. He served in Iraq and Gulf War Vets have an increased risk of this type of cancer. I'm just heartbroken. Please pray that the scans come back clean. Christine W

Yum. I might need to make this for dinner tonight.

Love Chipotle. Love their philospohy, love their food. We have one ten minutes drive away but its so crowded and parking is a pain. We're getting one within walking distance this summer. It will still be crowded, but at least we won't have to worry about parking. Christine

Our local gardening center/nursery is running a B1G1 special on heirloom plants. I was really impressed because they had a pretty big selection--more than 20 varieties of tomatoes and a couple each of squash and cucumber. I picked up three tomato varieties, a lemon cucumber and cocozelle zucchini. I forgot to pick up the Armenian/Serpent cukes (my son loves these and they are expensive to buy) so I'm probably going back on Monday. I'd probably buy 1 or 2 more tomatoes plus look to see what else they have in peppers and eggplant. Some of the tomato varieties were listed as endangered. I am not experienced enough to try to save the seed; should I still consider buying them, in order to help keep them in cultivation? I live in the Bay area but outside outside the fog belt (Sunset zone 14). Everything will be grown in containers but the former owners of this house left lots of big pots. Are you growing any heirlooms this year? What do you like? Christine

I am praying. :grouphug:

I am praying too.

Re-read this and am curious how your realtor submitted an offer on your behalf without you signing any paperwork making her your realtor? If she willing backs out without going after you for her commission, she is a saint especially since you are using the original contract with initials for the amendments. Please check with a lawyer before signing anything. This could put you in a world of hurt and tank the deal after you've spent money on the title company and inspections. I know that you really want the house, but this seems wrong.

I don't know. Property taxes are the price one pays for being a member of the community. Someone has to pay to build and maintain roads, stop lights, public safety officers, gas and sewer lines and provide clean safe water. I can't imagine charging admission to a playground or paying a fee for a library card. My little city has an amazing bike and pedestrian trail system that I'm happy to help contribute to even though my kids are too young to use it yet. I'm a big fan of public transit. Property taxes make a big difference in the quality of life where I live. Christine W

I'm torn. DH makes enough to put us in the highest tax bracket but we aren't exactly rolling in it especially since we have more than six figures in student loan debt (that isn't deductible because he makes over the income limit). I don't work because it makes no financial sense--after taxes, childcare and commuting costs we'd just about break even. I'm madder about our state taxes more than the feds--California is a mess. Christine

I'd write the house off. Anyone who doesn't even respond to a written offer is going to be a problem. I don't care how abrasive the realtor was, a buyer should at least decline. Ignoring the bid until it expires, sorry it just spells trouble. BTW, even if you fire your realtor, there is no guarantee that you will get the house. You could call him and find out why he declined. Maybe he wants more money; maybe he wants closing costs. Sellers play lots of games, and this is a nutty real estate market now. Christine W

I'm really glad that LA is getting one, especially at the Science Center which has free admission but I am shocked that Houston isn't. I think the NY shuttle should be going to Houston but that NASA got the rest of the choices right. Christine

Praying for Cade and his family.

One of the families in our Mom's Counsel is dealing with probable end stage cancer in the dad. Mom is at the hospital all the time and her in-laws are in town taking care of their 11 and 14 year old children. Our table has organized meals to be dropped off. Any recipe suggestions for an easy non-pasta dish? I have nothing against pasta, but when my dad was away for clinical trials with the same type of cancer everyone brought pasta. I still don't like spaghetti because we had it at least twice a week for about three months. Any suggestions for something easy, that reheats well and is slightly different than the normal things people drop off. I do remember someone dropping off fried chicken from Popeyes and I was so so very happy but I'm new to the church and don't feel comfortable doing that yet. Thanks, Christine

I think the lawsuit is absolutely ridiculous. My son just took the exam the ERB uses to determine kindergarten placement and its not as if kids need to be writing their letters, doing complicated math problems or reading. It's mostly vocabulary, compare and contrast and figuring out patterns. A good proctor presents the whole exam as a series of games. A classroom that the mom derided as just one big playroom is the perfect setting for developing the ERB test skills. An academic preschool isn't going to help If I'm paying almost 20k for preschool then I'm going to tour the school, ask about where last year's class went to kindergarten and check in frequently with the teacher to see where my child might have deficiencies. There is no way I would wait until February, and sue the school after I didn't get the kindy placement I wanted. I Won't even dignify the complaint about being in a room with 2 and three year olds. The horrors! Back in my former life, DS attended a neighborhood Montessori preschool where the classroom ages ran from 2 1/2 to 5. Christine W eta: we're not trying to get DS into any fancy elementary program. DS' preschool administers the WSSPI to all 4-5 year old students to assess kindergarten readiness and as a benchmark for the school to see if its meeting its own goals. I didn't know he was being tested until he began describing the "games" he was playing with his teacher and I remembered them from my education training.

Wow. These posts seem harsh. I think the local kids in our church community are worth the investment even if the trip is just about them. They come back energized and committed to Christ and to each other. The annual Mexico trip over spring break, the teens build houses and run a camp. A large proportion of the kids then begin volunteering in our local missions in Oakland and Richmond. The church sponsors several medical and dental missions to DR every year; obviously the teens can't do the medical work but they can entertain kids in long lines, distribute supplies, clean up. One local family went on the DR trip and felt called to run the school and act as school nurse for two years another family has been in the DR for 7 years. The Church has two short term trips that they are planning with local missionaries to an AIDS orphanage in Uganda and with a missionary in Peru. These trips are regular and coordinated with the long term missionaries on the ground. Those who go on the trips have a personal interest in seeing the mission succeed and frequently keep giving and returning. However, short term also do a great deal of good for our local church. They keep the missions at the forefront of Church life. People come home and talk about the trips, and then they talk about the mission while recruiting for the next trip. The personal connection is important. We're always collecting shoes for the DR or school supplies for refugees or collecting offerings to buy a van for the missionaries in Mexico. Christine (who has no dog in the fight as my kids are too young to go themselves and too young to have their mama a continent or more away)

For girls: Charlotte and Natalie For a boy: Caleb, Daniel Andrew and David Christine ETA: Claire or Clara.

I would refund the money, particularly since insurance was never discussed by either of you. Because of the ebay and paypal policies (and online retailers), most online buyers don't even think about insurance. They didn't decline insurance, it wasn't discussed. I would feel bad keeping money for something I know the buyer never received. Christine W

ITA! I've been thinking about this a lot and couldn't find the words. This sums it up for me. ps. May 8th is mother's day. Its probably why the Church was available (we got married the Saturday before mother's day because it was the only date available at the venue we wanted), but its a good reason not to fight with your mom about the date.

Thank you. I just put these in the Instant Cue. Christine W

Yeah, that was my problem with spiritual advisor move 3000 miles away mom. I think she's just a step above my cousin's meth addicted ex wife who didn't even show up for the divorce hearing and hasn't called her 2 boys (the oldest who is 5) in almost 3 years. At least she had an addiction. This woman just got tired of being a mom, and listened to the "voices" in her head. Now she's a zen spiritual advisor??? Who the heck would listen to such a crazy lady. There is a middle ground between being a cuddly waldorf attachment mom and abandoning your kids. She's weak and spineless and a model for nobody I understand Heroshima momma. If I got a grant to be outside the US for 6 months Dh would find a way to make it work. If I wanted a job involving travel, we would make it work. In my working days I knew mom's who would not be good custodial parents if they split from their husband. It's not the norm, but its not the end of the world. When parent's split, someone gets custody. Sometimes dad is more nurturing and would do better with the kids. Heroshima mom lives in the same town and acts like a good noncustodial dad. Unlike the zen momma, she's not a deadbeat. As long as dad is doing a good job as "mother" then I believe her when she says her kids are ok. Its selfish to write a book about it before your sons graduate, but that's the only part where I find fault. Christine W

I agree. I do leave my 4yr old daughter to open the door to DS' preschool when we're running late but I'm literally 5 feet away and the director always stands outside with me while I sign him in. I'll also buckle her in to return the cart if its in the same aisle but that's the extent of my willingness to leave them. Drycleaner, redbox or ATM--nope. I also wanted to add that behavior doesn't have to be criminal to be considered negligent. I don't think that your actions would be considered negligent under the circumstances, and I wouldn't have said anything to you but lots of mamas in my neighborhood would have given you another minute or two to come back and would have called the cops. In my old town, the preschool warned a mother that if she left the little ones in the car while she signed the elder sibling in again that they would call the cops. You can see the whole parking lot from the sign in area but the school had received complaints and was worried about their license. I live in the heart of yuppie suburbia though. Christine W