A large calendar (paper) with big squares so everyone can write appointments, etc. on it. We do have a family calendar on the computer, but the paper one works well for a couple of my kids--they can glance at it whenever they're in the kitchen and not have to open a program on the computer. Also on the fridge: a few pictures of family and friends.

And I love the first three here (and not just because they were written and recorded by my DS :D): http://soundcloud.com/olivine-drive "Sky" was first recorded by Joshua Radin, but this is a cover by DS and DD.

I'm on a Puccini kick just now, and this is why: ETA: Although I prefer DD14's pure, clear soprano on this one. :)

I've always kind of thought of cats as decoration--they're nice to look at but they don't do much. To me dogs are so much more interesting and personable (and fun). So I'm a dog person. But my DDs and DH are cat people, so we have both, and I like them all. I guess I like animals in general.

I'm so sorry! I'm praying for her, and for you as well, as you comfort her. :grouphug:

So sweet! She is lucky to have found such a wonderful family. :001_smile:

:iagree: Great book! I wonder if the reason some husbands seem negative and play "devil's advocate" is that this is their way of trying to fix something. I know many men are wired to be fixers and if they sense a problem in their woman's life they want to fix it. This was an issue early in our marriage, too, and it felt so discouraging, even soul-deadening. Not because I didn't want his help with problems, but because it came across as so negative and critical, like he was trying to fix ME. Eventually (after a few tearful confrontations, reading a couple of good books, and some time and maturity ;)), we both morphed toward compromise. I began to appreciate his intentions to help, including his analytical, logical thinking process, and he became more diplomatic with me. On another note, I once heard a pastor share that he and his wife had come to realize that given their personalities, a fabulous, constantly invigorating marriage probably wasn't an option for them, and that a pretty good marriage (75%, he called it) was good enough. I agree with the poster who said that friendship and marriage aren't the same thing. It's great if they're combined, but if a husband and wife are not best friends, that doesn't mean they can't have a satisfying marriage. OTOH, it's certainly worth working toward! Shared hobbies is a great idea.

Ireland, Ethiopia, France, Thailand, Canada, Mexico (many times), England. I also spent the night in a Frankfurt hotel (long layover), but I didn't count Germany. Eldest DD and I spent a week in Paris just before she graduated high school, DS and I spent a week in Ireland, and youngest DD wants me to take her to England. After that, I told DH I would save up to take him to the tropics (not sure where). He's been craving a tropical vacation for years, but he keeps letting the kids and me use the FF miles, dear man! :001_wub:

Parmesan Chicken: Dip boneless breasts in a butter/worcestershire/garlic mixture, then dip in breadcrumb/parmesan mixture and lay in baking dish. Pour any extra butter mixture over chicken. Bake at 375°F. for about 20 minutes or until done. Serve with angel hair pasta. Yum.

:hurray: for him! Get well soon. :grouphug:

I'm not a piano teacher but all three of my kids took lessons for years, and my eldest teaches piano. So, FWIW, 1. She needs weekly lessons. Partly to keep up motivation, but also to allow the teacher to correct any bad "habits" before they form (hand placement, posture, etc.) 2. In my area (So. Cal.) $17 per lesson is reasonable (maybe on the high side) for someone who's been teaching for 3 years. I think it might be a regional issue, though, so I would ask some of your local friends, too. I paid $20 per lesson for a teacher with a M.A. in music pedagogy and who had been teaching 15 years. But this was her passion and she was never really "about the money" (hope that makes sense). I think I got a pretty good deal, IOW. $17 would be fine, especially if she's an effective teacher with your dd. 3. I would wait until June and try to stay consistent with lessons and practice. 4. Word of mouth. I asked our piano teacher and she put me in touch with a really good piano tuner. You might also check with local churches to see who they use.

I have a friend who is involved in this coalition: http://www.catwinternational.org/

I asked my DD who is in college on a music (vocal perf.) scholarship, and here's her reply: " "Just Leave Everything to Me" from Hello Dolly, "Somewhere" from West Side Story, "Popular" from Wicked (sometimes considered overdone), "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from Sound of Music, "If My Friends Could See Me Now" from Sweet Charity. I'll let you know if I think of anything else." Good luck to your daughter!

I Dreamed a Dream from Les Mis. I think there are several great songs from that musical, but I can't remember the other titles just now.

Outburst (We have the Bible version) Trivial Pursuit (classic version) Sequence Nertz, Hearts, and myriad other games with a plain ol' deck of cards

WooHoo! Congratulations to you all!:hurray:

This is true; I've always told my kids: "Your friends will come and go throughout your life, but you'll always have your siblings, for better or worse. You may as well invest in the friendships you have right here in your home. It's so convenient! :D A few other things that have worked (according to my college-aged DD): 1. When there's fun news to share (e.g. "Grandpa's coming to visit!") let one child (the prey, maybe?) tell the others. People generally like the bearer of good news. 2. As previously posted, don't reward bad behavior with attention. I wouldn't show emotion, just be calm and cool and isolate the instigator. Let him be bored for a while. 3. Treat your children (especially the eldest) the way you want him to treat others. Children tend to adopt the character traits of those who influence them. Which leads to... 4. Pay attention to the friendships and authority figures in your kids' lives: children pick up attitudes from others. If there are negative influencers, purge them if possible, or at least be nearby to monitor so you can "debrief" later. 5. I agree. These are negative influencers (see #4).6. Make sure you're spending some one-on-one time with each child on a regular basis, so they don't have to compete for your attention. Not sure if this is an issue at your house, but it is a common one. Even 20 minutes of a fun read-aloud, or a walk to the park, just the two of you, or whatever you can squeeze in. 7. As others have said, I would never allow name-calling or hitting to go unpunished. Have clearly-communicated consequences for such, and act swiftly but calmly and matter-of-factly. I did read Siblings Without Rivalry, and although there are some interesting ideas in it, I do not agree with just "letting them work it out" because the stronger personality will always get his way. 8. Teach conflict-resolution skills. Sometimes when my kids argued and couldn't seem to get past it, I'd have them each sit on a different piece of furniture in the same room, and they weren't allowed to get up until they talked it out and became "friends again." Never took more than a couple of minutes.:001_smile: This forced them to talk about it, because there was nothing else to do! 9. Also as previously mentioned, include plenty of character-building lessons (not in the middle of a conflict, but as a regular part of school) and fun books with siblings who enjoy each other (I think TaraJo mentioned Boxcar Children). These are what I would call "positive influencers." 10. Get them outside every day if possible. Fresh air and exercise does wonders for bad attitudes. 11. If you are a Christian, pray often and fervently and very specifically about this. Mention your children by name and ask God to change their hearts toward each other. Of course you'll be asking Him for wisdom and patience for yourself as well. :lol: Ask him to show you if there's anything you're doing that you need to change. I really believe that He cares very much about families. I agree that some of this is personality and/or immaturity. Hopefully they will become friends as they get older. FWIW, today my children are good friends with each other and really enjoy hanging out together, especially DS with either DD. :grouphug:

Just remembered one of my favorite quotes: "One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again." (Judith Viorst) May not address your particular issue, OP, but I thought it relevant to the thread. :grouphug:

Amy, I could have written your original post! You described me so well. Although my kids are older now and don't "need" me as much as when they were younger, I still long for an hour or two alone in my own home--or better yet, a whole day--just to think my own thoughts and follow them to a natural conclusion. :D I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've had that in the last 20 years. So...I empathize with you. DH and I went round and round about my need for solitude when my eldest was around 3, and finally one night he said, "Well, I just don't understand it, but I believe you. If you say you need it, then take it." I really appreciated him for that, because he has this need to analyze and understand issues completely. So that was a big step for him. :001_smile: All we could manage was one Saturday off each month, and I had to go out (he didn't feel comfortable with the responsibility of entertaining the kids all day out of the house; at least at home they had their toys, etc.). But he put it on his calendar faithfully and for the past 20 years I've had my Saturday off each month. Of course (I know you understand this), I do not get together with friends, because that's not solitude. I take myself to the library or an arboretum for a while, then get lunch out (I take a book or magazine along). When I can spend the money, I may even go to a movie. I've never minded doing those things alone. I often joke to people that I am my own favorite company. :lol: I will say that I don't feel the need to leave the house as much these days, because my kids are older and have active lives of their own. DD21 has moved out, DS18 has a part-time job in addition to his schoolwork, and DD14 is very independent with her schoolwork. It does get easier as they get older. I haven't read through all the posts, so forgive me if this has been addressed, but can you hire a teen to stay with the kids for a couple of hours once a week, or better yet, take them to a nearby park so you can be home alone? Also, you articulated your needs so beautifully in your OP; could you just let your husband read it? Maybe edit it a bit for his eyes, if you want. Another idea (probably already mentioned) is to find a couple of good articles on introverts and their needs and print them out for him to read. It's really hard for non-introverts to understand us--we just don't make sense to them. :001_unsure: And there are a lot more of "them"--in this country anyway--than of us. Hang in there, dear sister. Breathe in those rare moments of solitude when they come and pray that they will be enough for now. It does get easier...

$4.10 in Southern CA

Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Breakfast: TJ's artisan whole wheat toast with peanut butter Lunch: Salad with lots of yummy things and a homemade vinaigrette Dinner: Just DH and me tonight: Chipotle maybe? What are you doing today? This weekend? Taught my Spanish classes for our co-op, getting ready to take DD to voice lesson. Kids have a party to attend tonight; we had plans to have friends over for dinner, but they had to cancel. A normal weekend: errands, etc. tomorrow and Family Night on Sunday Do you have any pets? Two cats (whatever) and a smart and spunky dog (b/w retriever/spaniel mix). Can you tell I'm the lone dog person in this family?

:iagree: Except that mine is 21 and a girl (okay, so she's no longer a teen, but still). She also is always telling me how much she misses my cooking (and her univ. is known for its good cafeteria food). But she loves college life... She brings a joyful energy into our home and when she's home for a couple of days everything just seems a bit more festive. DS18 is cooperative and helpful, if a bit forgetful at times. :tongue_smilie: Everything he does, he does well. E.g. when it's his turn to wipe down the kitchen after dinner, it sparkles. I hate running errands, so he stops by the store when we need a couple of things, and I haven't had to put gas in the car in months. DD14 has "moods" from time to time, but she is generally happy and sweet. She still likes me to tuck her in at night, and I love lying there in the dark chatting with her about whatever. She's got a great sense of humor. She also has a confidence that her peers seem to respect. While many girls her age are overly loud or flirtatious--trying to prove something or trying to figure out who they are, I've seen none of that in her. (Let's hope it lasts :) ) One of the things I love the most about them, though, is their love for each other. They truly are good friends, especially DS with either of his sisters. They like to hang out together: going to the movies, to the pool, or just jamming around the piano. Thanks for starting the thread!

:grouphug: I'm sorry things are difficult for you this year.

Blueberry muffins (used 1/2 whole wheat flour and 1/2 all-purpose). Tomorrow I'll bake a lemon cheesecake for my college daughter and her friends. Gotta use up those lemons from the tree! :001_smile:

Around age 13 or 14 they start paying 1/2. Our summer camp is expensive (Hume, CA), so this makes camp doable for us. DD has told me more than once that she's glad we have her pay 1/2--she thinks it makes her appreciate it more. Also, it's fun to have something big to save for all year!