EXACTLY! Good grief. Get yourself your scooter. And buy yourself something fun off Amazon as an "I'm sorry I screwed up and didn't order it myself" gift from dh to you. Whether you tell him or not of his gift is up to you. (((hugs)))

In your salary history, I'd just be accurate. I'd include hours worked, year(s) worked, and hourly or salary rate. I'd only include positions relevant to your resume. I.e., if you are MS level IT person, I would leave out waitressing, babysitting, whatever. Exception being if you were working in a position long enough (say over a year or two), then you would likely want to include that since it would substantiate your work ethic/etc on a recent basis if you don't have comparable career-related work. So, something like: 1988-1994 Full Time (salaried) IT Manager For MegaMart Computers $45,000/yr (ending salary) 2010-2012 PT IT assistant GE MegaMart $15/hr (10-12 hrs/wk) 2012-2015 PT Childcare manager Big Church $12/hr (10-20 hrs/wk)

Well, I'd say that, IMHO, homeschooling is a bad idea for your family. All of us have limits. There is only so much we can do well, and if we push ourselves past our limits, we are going to start failing. Since you just can NOT fail at raising and loving your kids, you have to get some stuff off your plate so you can do a good job at what you do. I personally think you are just demanding too much of yourself. Have you heard "You can have anything you want. But not everything you want." or "You can have everything you want. But not at the same time." I'm sure I've butchered the quotes but I think they each make a lot of sense. I remind myself of these all the time. You have to make choices in life. For you, saying "Yes" to having 5 kids maybe means saying "No" to homeschooling. For another family, saying "Yes" to homeschooling might mean saying "No" to new cars or pricey vacations. Saying "Yes" to serious church involvement might mean saying "No" to volunteering for Habitat . . . Etc. Etc. All good things, but you can't do ALL the good things. You have to choose. You have 4 kids with a 5th on the way. I'm guessing that more might be on the horizon since you've already got #5 on the way with pretty close spacing. So, in any event, you've got a large family and might later have a *very* large family. That's a LOT of work and responsibility. You have serious mental health issues that require you to be extra vigilant with your own wellness for your own sake and that of your family. That requires time and attention and presumably money (for therapy/counseling, etc. if not also for medications, etc.) You and your husband must determine what your priorities are and make choices accordingly. You can't have 5 kids, make 5 course meals from scratch every night, homeschool all day, workout every day, go to your counseling sessions weekly, take each kid to their needed therapies, etc, call your mom, sew a quilt each month, go to grad school, work half time, have a big organic garden, weave your own cloth, sew your kid's clothes, drive for Meals on Wheels, . . . Oh, I'm being ridiculous? That sounds RIDICULOUS? Anyone knows you can't do ALL that stuff at the same time? Yep. EXACTLY. You are trying to do too much. Much, much, much too much. Scale back. Focus on the important stuff. Find a great school for your school age kids, bake them cookies when they get home and help them with their homework and take them to Sunday school . . . . and love your babies and take care of your own health and your marriage. Homeschooling is not for everyone at every time. You can always reconsider at some later time when (if) things are calmer and your health is stable.

FWIW, I am so far left (on this board), that I think I fall off the left side of the computer screen while viewing these boards. And, I am firmly pro-CHOICE. I absolutely disagree with the assertion that left-leaning folks would lean towards enforcing the abortion clause in the contract. Honestly, I'd expect the exact opposite. To me, this sort of contract is more about the powerful (man with $$$) using the less powerful (surrogate), and basic human freedom, which I don't believe you should be able to contract away. And, to me, being on the "left" is largely about trying to equal the playing field by empowering those with less power. Many (IME, the vast majority) of us on the left are pro-CHOICE as a lesser of evils, believing that abortion is inevitable in any modern culture (and probably any ancient one as well), and that it should be safe, legal, and RARE. I'd always been firmly "never for me" for abortion while still feeling it is vital for it to be safe and legal. I have had hundreds to thousands of conversations about abortion with other "left" friends (and "right" friends too) over the decades, and I have never, ever, once heard a live human being dismiss abortion as anything but a tragedy. The one friend I've known who chose it did so in pain and with great deliberation and distress (due to grave birth defects and with already having one adult daughter with serious life-time medical needs and two additional children). Believing that abortion should be safe and legal is not remotely equivalent with feeling it is a routine thing without moral consequences. I am sure there are people out there who think abortion is not a big deal, but I've never met a single one of them.

I completely agree. That the state won't enforce a contract it deems unenforceable does not make the state responsible for the outcomes. It simply clarifies the law that you CAN NOT make certain contracts legally. This happens all day long. In some states, non-compete clauses are unenforceable. Someone can still write and sign such a contract, but if it goes to court, it's not going to be enforced. You could write and sign a contract selling your child or yourself into slavery, but that's illegal, so it won't be enforced. Etc, etc. This area of law is obviously evolving and fuzzy, but it seems plain wrong to me to have any contract that can force any woman to have an abortion ever. Period. (And, FTR, I am firmly pro-CHOICE. That does NOT mean pro-ABORTION.) IMHO, folks who choose surrogacy should have to accept that they can't force a woman to have an abortion. If the man had made his baby in the typical way with a partner, he would be stuck with all three babies too . . . as no man can force a wife (or girl friend or whoever) to have an abortion either. I feel very uneasy about surrogacy, honestly. I don't believe I could do it from EITHER side. I have a close friend who used donor eggs to get pregnant and has been very blessed. I'm pretty OK with donor eggs and sperm (and hearts and kidneys and blood), but the whole surrogacy thing creeps me out as some sort of slavery. I had a (homeschool mom) acquaintance who was a repeat-surrogate. I think she was on #2 or 3 when I knew her, and she planned to have one surrogacy for each of her (2 or 3) own kids plus one more -- planning to save each fee for college funds for each kid and then a big family vacation/around the world trip. It was maybe 12 years ago, and IIRC, she was being paid 40-50k or so each pregnancy. It was big money. It really creeped me out, thinking of her own kids watching her grow and then give away the babies . . . but she seemed pretty normal and happy with it all. Another acquaintance used a surrogate to have a 2nd child when birth complications from her first left her unable to carry another . . . But none of these women have been intimate friends, so I really have never known someone close enough to know how it works in their heads. I can totally see the side of the women "buying" the babies, but I can't fathom the selling part . . . Certainly not for the one woman I did know, who lived in a nice area in a nice home with a high earning spouse . . . I can see it happening in desperation (which is very tragic), but for convenience and college funds? So, obviously, some of the women that are surrogates must not feel as shattered as I would in their shoes. (I likewise cannot myself fathom giving up a baby nor aborting one under any circumstances . . . despite me being firmly pro-choice and pro-adoption) So, anyway, I'm sure my feelings color my thoughts on the contracts, but, to me, I do think there are some really shady moral aspects of surrogacy, and I do not think courts should enforce the shadier aspects of them.

I think your idea is just fine. Not ideal, but then again, what is? I'd do just as you plan. No way would I want to be in the living room. What a night mare. Shoot me now. Maybe that's my introvert talking, but I'd be institutionalized in short order if I didn't have a room to escape to. Honestly, I'd consider putting a kid in the living room long before I'd be out there. I think your plan is the best option of those available. If you can, create more private space by putting up some sort of opaque netting around your beds; that'd be really nifty and could be fun and pretty.

My son started with a dermatologist for acne about 3 months ago. They had us schedule a 3 month follow up appointment which is coming up. (Ds had good response from the topical meds. It took a month or so to clear up, but now his acne is vastly (90%) improved.) My impression was that rechecks every few months were routine to assess if the current medications are enough or if they need to be stepped up. I'd suggest taking your son to the dermatologist and going ahead and scheduling a follow up visit 2-3 months later unless you are instructed to come back sooner.

It is interesting that we both find the video important, but what we focus on is so different. What most bothers me is the 40% at the bottom that have nearly nothing, and the next 20% who have just a tiny bit. And the 1% that has such a disproportionate huge portion of the nation's wealth. To me, I see that 1% amount and wish it could be spread out towards that bottom 40-60%. I see the "excess" wealth at the very top that could be used to bring that bottom 40-60% up to a more just and more livable "middle class" level. To me, it's that bottom that is my focus. The people at the bottom who have very little resources to get out of the bottom. Those in the middle 50-70% are not totally disenfranchised and without hope, IME. Those at the very bottom are stuck, without the basic resources needed to get themselves out of hopelessness, nor even offer the NEXT generation hope.

What is different is that you have to have huge wealth IN CASE you need long term care (at home, high quality) and IN CASE you live to your maximum possible age. Essentially, our financial plan would be that in 95% of the cases, our kids will inherit a large amount of money. Maybe 60% chance they'd inherit 2+ million (we both die before age 70 and without large health care costs), 30% chance 1-2 million (one of us needs a couple years or less of care and/or we die by age 75ish), and less than 10% chance we'll have less than a million left when we are both dead (one or both of us needs extended assistance (several years or more) and/or very intensive 24/hr in home care for quite a few years and/or we both live to 85+. Near 0% chance we'd have less than half a million left, as our worst case scenarios involve living to 100+ which is highly unlikely. If the risk were spread over a large pool, obviously we'd not need to have all that left over for our kids when we die. I readily acknowledge that 90% + of Americans can't and don't amass that much wealth. However, because I *can* hope to do so, and I value the security and freedom that wealth would provide, I aim to do so.

Can you relocate nearer the new job after your 17 yo graduates from high school? If you could do that, I'd plan that, and jump on the new job.

And yet, this real insecurity is solved by nearing 2-3 million assets per person (when, by my calculations, you can indeed be confident that in all likelihood, you can hire all the reasonable help needed and buy all the stuff needed, to live indefinitely without burdening family or being institutionalized). But, that top 1% that has, what, 40% of the total wealth of the nation?? That kind of wealth is not about security, IMHO, but power and greed. That said, I think it is really cool that you don't have that sort of fear or need to accumulate wealth. That you can enjoy and spend your family's earnings without worrying about accumulating large wealth. I suppose that is perhaps a personality or psychological trait. I am generally a high anxiety worrier and compulsive planner. Always have been. Always will be. I deal with it in lots of ways, and planning for worst-case scenarios is part of it. I totally think it's awesome that you don't have that worry. Way to go. :) Sincerely, not being snarky!

This makes little sense to me. We just started a SIMPLE IRA at our business so we (and our staff) can save substantially pre-tax for retirement. Under 50, the annual cap is 12,500 in employee contributions. Over 50, it's 15,500 or something around that. The 3% match from the employer is on top of that, so you're looking at around 13-19k/yr MAX in contributions depending on earnings. When I run the numbers, with a 20 year time horizon, dh and I should accumulate around 1 million dollars in that account assuming a rough 30k/yr contributions and 6% return. If we had 40 years, it'd be over 4 million. We've never had a 401k or other plan where you could save substantial amounts, so this is new to us, but from what I understand, 401k and other plan limits are even higher, like 18k/yr. That's a good amount of money . . . And, yes, our family made the choice to keep ME working so that I could use the SIMPLE IRA plan. That's the only reason I work, so I can contribute to my own SIMPLE IRA in order to maximize the pre-tax retirement savings we can do. My entire paycheck goes to the SIMPLE and to taxes. Everyone I've known who was high earners (over 100k/family) had some sort of 401k at work or, if self-employed, set up a SIMPLE IRA (as we did) or similar plan(s) to save for retirement. That's a pretty decent amount of pre-tax savings. Those I knew who had more available to save than they could put away pre-tax either invest it in after-tax regular accounts or buy investment real estate, etc. One does not HAVE to have tax advantaged ways to save to save. In fact, all those pre-tax accounts are ultimately taxed at withdrawal, so it's not like you get away without ever paying any taxes on those monies. (It's a big advantage, don't get me wrong, but it's not like you never pay ANY taxes . . . ) Having some non-tax-advantaged investments is helpful in numerous ways, actually. Honestly, my long term retirement strategy does hope for/expect low cap gains rate . . . and if the cap gains rate goes up a lot for us when we sell our business (near retirement age), we'll be bummed to pay a higher rate . . . But, TBH, is it fair that a working family pays income tax on their entire earnings but a wealthy family pays so much less on cap. gains? I don't think it's fair, really. . . . And, TBH, I don't think we'd have done anything differently if we'd known at the outset that our cap gains rate would ultimately be higher. The benefits to us of owning the business for decades would not be negated by a lower profit at sale. Likewise the other non-retirement investments we make . . . You can *never* count on future tax laws. Doing so is just foolish.

One random thought . . . One of my primary reasons for wanting to amass a large amount of wealth (3-4 million for a married couple) is for "retirement". The reason I have determined that we need THAT much is to ensure that we could pay the massive costs for in-home nursing assistance if one of us needed it. Essentially, my drive to amass large wealth is driven by fear of our insecure elder care. Since we have to self-fund our late life care, we need massive wealth to do that without risking being institutionalized (which I DO NOT want and would gladly pre-authorize physician assisted suicide if I could, but that is not generally assured or even legal, and I don't want my children or spouse in legal jeopardy for helping me) and I don't want to be a burden to my kids. Likewise, we invest *many* thousands of (after tax) dollars per year in personal disability insurance to again insure against catastrophe should dh become disabled during his working years. If we spend 10k/yr for disability insurance, that's about 18k pre-tax . . . So an ENTIRE ADDITIONAL 8-9/hr staff person could be employed if we didn't need to spend that on disability insurance . . . So, truly, if we had a better safety net for aging and disability . . . then I'd have much less need or desire to amass great wealth. I make all the major strategic financial decisions in my family, and I guarantee you that if I trusted any degree of a reasonable safety net for those needs (as many other countries do indeed provide), I would need *much* less wealth. As it is, one is driven to accumulate massive wealth to insure against the disaster of needing extensive lengthy medical/nursing care. If I did not have to worry about THAT need, then our need for retirement savings would be vastly less. Honestly, our life-time adult major financial needs have been 1) paying back our own educational debts 2) paying for our kids to get through school with as little educational debt as possible so they aren't bound by it for decades as we have been and 3) making sure our late-life nursing/care needs are met without burdening our kids or ending up in an institution where we never wish to be. Those things, and only those, things are what drives our particular family to truly maximize our earnings and savings. Another driver for wealth accumulation is often the need to secure a fragile family member's well being (special needs children, etc.) . . . fortunately, we have not faced that challenge, although I certainly keep in the back of my mind the need to be able to take care of any of our children should some disaster strike . . . If we lived in a world where those needs didn't require HUGE financial inputs from us, then we'd need to earn much less now (could share more with our employees and/or work less and hire another vet) and we could retire much earlier (age 55-60 for dh instead of age 65-70). These things are all very interrelated. I don't know what drives someone who has a net worth of 5 million to head towards the 50 million or 5 billion mark. But I sure know what drives us, and many families like us, to aspire to that 3-5 million net worth mark. That's what it takes to be truly secure that you'll never need to be a financial burden on your kids nor be vulnerable to being institutionalized against your will. That's ridiculous. If we are lucky, and our kids are lucky, they'll inherit a lot of money because we'll never have a lengthy illness and die fast in our time. But, honestly, I'd personally much rather be able not be working so hard because of a deep fear of late life care and an intimate knowledge of how vast the difference in quality of life can be if you have large financial resources in late life vs. limited resources. That fear and insecurity obviously does drive us to "productivity" but it also feeds anxiety, depression, substance abuse, family discord, and a host of other ailments and societal ills. I imagine that those living in countries with long-time secure and stable social safety nets have so changed the motivators in their populations that it makes it much easier for people to shift their personal goals to reduced wealth accumulation. I imagine that is how much of northern Europe "thinks" and I have certainly heard things from Europeans who express happiness with the trade-off they make . . . a bit less wealth accumulation by the top earners but much more vacation/family/free time during their working years and much more security for themselves and their parents/children/other loved ones throughout the life cycle.

Whatever you decide, choose your brand carefully! http://www.stayonthehealthypath.com/fda-finds-majority-of-herbal-supplements-at-gnc-walmart-walgreens-and-target-dont-contain-what-they-claim-instead-cheap-fillers-like-wheat-and-soy-powder/ FWIW, I go with Now Foods also for supplements. Was recommended by someone whose judgment I trust in this area (PhD level natural food guru alternative medicine person). Since supplements are largely unregulated, you really have to choose your brand carefully.

The people I am talking about are indeed ignorant, uneducated, and misled. One man was actually illiterate, truly couldn't read. I loved him. He died last summer, from his addiction. He was 30, loved his little daughter, worked his ass off, was in and out of jail and rehab, totally failed by his parents (no dad, shit for mom), the child welfare system (that didn't protect him), the educational system (that didn't educate him), the justice system (that treated his addiction as a crime instead of a disease), the medical system (that lacked the follow on care to actually help him) . . . And, he died. Despite a few strangers trying to do right by him and despite his good heart and skillful hands. He was one of those people I'm talking about. I talked to at least half a dozen guys like this in the last 2 years who worked on the construction crews on my house. I guarantee you that they are uneducated, often illiterate, and definitely not savvy enough to make good decisions for themselves or their country. I have no qualms about "condescending" to these folks on matters that require any depth of understanding of the nation or politics or economics. They are good human beings, but utterly ignorant about how the government works, how the economy works, world works, and how they could better survive in an economy that is designed to fuck them over. These folks know *nothing* about credit scores, let alone big picture tax structures or economics. These folks use pay day lending, live paycheck to paycheck always, buy iPads for their toddlers when they don't own a single book . . . I helped sweet Jeremiah (the one who died) set up an iPad FOR HIS THREE YEAR OLD *twice* because the first one he bought got "lost" (stolen by an associate more likely). I had to set it up for him because he couldn't read, and he had no email address . . . And, no one he knew better (baby-momma', friends, etc) could help him either. So, I set it up for him and loaded it with free apps for his toddler. I cried that night. And I cried a lot more when I learned he'd died. The decisions our politicians make MATTER and KILL actual real human beings. Jeremiah would NOT be dead if our state's mental health system worked like it should, like it could, like we CAN afford. (Believe me, our state spent 10s-100s of thousands of dollars incarcerating him . . . money that could have saved him if otherwise spent.) His daughter would still have a daddy who adored her and worked 7 long days/wk whenever he was not in jail or rehab to take care of her. Who did his utter best to make it work with his baby's momma despite her being even worse addicted than he and her slutting around with any random drug supplier . . . I got to know him well because he was on my contractor's weekday crew . . . and then he moonlighted for me on weekends painting the interior of my house. We often worked side by side. He was a damn good painter. And a good man. And he's lost. Because our systems suck. Someone, somehow, somewhere could have and should have saved him. Every system that failed him is under concerted attack by the Republicans who currently control our state legislature. Our schools, our public health system, our CPS, are all grossly underfunded and crippled. I don't comprehend how people of good hearts can choose time and again to neglect those who need care the most and are utterly lost. There are large parts of our country where there IS NO HELP. I discovered that just miles from my college-town-enclave of "normal" there are "hollows" of SERIOUSLY POOR people who simply have no access to what I had assumed everyone has. POOR. REALLY REALLY POOR. POOR like probably very few of us could possibly know, because it's a kind of poor where no one you know has a computer. Where your mom was a prostitute who left you with random strangers in town and your dad was a total unknown. POOR. Those are the people who I want our government to serve. And, lowering MY tax rates isn't going to help them. That I can promise you.

Nope, what disgusts me is the very poor people I know who erroneously think that the ACA hurt them personally. They think, because they've heard it so often on TV, that the democrats take away jobs and raised their taxes and took away their health care. In fact, the opposite is true. What is disgusting is the very poor people who are, in our state, eligible for FREE healthcare via our state's Medicaid expansion, but who just don't understand that they are eligible for free health care BECAUSE of the ACA. They are uniformed and suffer because of it. They don't realize that the unemployment insurance they relied on would have been gutted if not for the (then, not now) democratically controlled WV government . . . They are simply misinformed and have been suckered in by richer, smarter, manipulative politicians who are working in their own self-interest by gutting labor protections, shifting taxes to the poorer people and away from the wealthy and business sector, etc. I'm in the top tax bracket, and I vote against my immediate financial self-interest every election by choosing to vote for "big government" Democrats who have the nerve to advocate for a society where we take care of the weaker among us instead of simply handing all the goodies to me and my economic peers. Thanks, but I'd rather live in more just more equal world. I don't for a minute believe that people should vote in their personal economic self interest. What disgusts me is the lying and manipulating that goes on politically. If people understand what they are voting for, more power to you, that's what it's all about. What I hear from some of the more blatant politicians is a constant stream of lies that tell poor and working class people that "Vote for me, and I'll get you a job, and I'll make you rich, like me!" It's pitiful and shallow. That is disgusting. What is right and good is people who are informed, thoughtful, and cast their vote according to what they believe is in the best interest of the greater good of all Americans and maybe even all the world. That's the way *I* cast my votes. For this to work, we have to have an "informed citizenry" which we don't have . . . partially due to a weak education system and even more due to a horribly sick state of our journalism and a political class that seems to be devolving towards the lowest, crudest sort of self-aggrandizing self-serving idiocy that I can imagine. Honestly, this election cycle's Republican field is a farce. ETA: The people I know personally and was/am talking about, here in WV, are not "conservative" right wingers voting Republican because of that conservative social agenda. Nope. I know plenty of people who are conservative socially and thus led to vote Republican sometimes. I get that. The issue I have are this entire other class -- the "poor whites" who are targeted by Trump, et.al. (What true social conservative would, in their worst nightmare, choose Trump!!??) These folks I'm talking about are ex-cons, drug-addicts, construction workers, high school drop outs, fast-food workers . . . who are socially perfectly accepting of gays, any religion, etc . . . (and generally completely confused by anti-gay or anti-Muslim stuff, as these 18-30 year olds are just too young to be bigots) . . . but they are poor, and they struggle, and they hear this rhetoric that the Republicans are going to help them. Just crazy, IMHO.

The sadly shocking thing to me is the vast majority of people I know who are actually in that bottom quintile . . . net worth under 10k . . . family income under 30k . . . and eagerly vote for Republicans.

I've seen this a lot in our area. Since our state (WV) won't accept any homeschool credits/classes for high school transcripts, it's nice to go to public school (sometimes part time) for 8th to take Spanish 1 and Algebra. That way they have those two classes on their high school transcripts . . .

Wedding gifts are welcome anytime between the day you got the invitation and many months after the wedding. Definitely go ahead and mail it!

Yep, I sure hope one of my kids likes us well enough to want us with them instead of in a facility. BUT, I expect to be able to fully fund as much hired help and purchased conveniences as could possibly be needed. I would NOT want caring for me to be a financial burden, and I will do all I can to minimize the other burdens . . . Dh and I won't willingly live in a facility, period. We'd off ourselves or hide somewhere in a cabin off the grid before letting that happen. Likewise, we'd never let each other be in a facility (long term) either . . . (A stint in rehab is one thing . . . ) We'd help each other let go if it came to that. If something sudden happened that took away our ability to decide for ourselves (a sudden change of status due to stroke or similar), then I sure hope our kids respect our wishes and that our documents are adequate to prevent either of us being institutionalized. Either of us would much prefer death, which we've made clear. If we know what is coming, we'll plan accordingly to minimize the burden on our kids. We already have directives not to extend life (even via feeding or antibiotics or fluids) if we have a terminal disease, and we are updating those documents currently to include not extending life AT ALL if we have any progressive dementia (Alzheimers, etc.) at any stage. Once we are on our way out, we plan to get on the express bus if we have any say about it. If none of our kids like us well enough to keep us out of a facility, then I sure hope we get enough warning of declining health to do something drastic before we were placed in a facility. It's my worst nightmare to be in an institution away from loved ones. Shoot me now. So, yep, I expect my kids to step up. I did it for my mom. I would have done it for Dad if he'd needed it (died suddenly).

Nope. I wouldn't accept money or gifts from him under these circumstances. If you can't afford to visit on your own terms, DO NOT DO IT. You can invite him and his wife to visit you if you like (and let him pay his own way and recommend a HOTEL for him to stay at). Personally, I'd not visit with him at all until he has gotten over giving you grief about your taco stop. Sure, I can understand it being rude to ask for fast food on the way to his home. Obviously, that's not very polite. But, you were pregnant, exhausted, craving, and, well, so what, you were a little rude. It is a LOT MORE rude for him to harp on you about it all these years. Nearly 20 years ago, some of my inlaws pulled nearly the same thing, but without the pregnancy excuse. They lived 3 hours away from us (we had very recently moved cross country, so that was new), and we'd invited BIL, SIL, and their kids (middle school age) to Sunday dinner at our house. They arrived on time, with FRESH take-out (still eating it!) from the fast food place about a mile from our house. Dinner was already in the oven, to be served within the hour. Dh and I were offended and irritated, and to this day, we joke about it AMONG OURSELVES. We NEVER said a word to our in-laws about it then or since then. We love them, and we wouldn't make a big thing about it . . . To me, what your dad has done is much, much worse than one thoughtless craving-induced moment . . . If you really want to do something about your dad, then I'd suggest coming up with a one-line response and using it verbatim every time he brings the subject up. "Yes, Dad, I'm sorry that I was rude that one time to stop at a restaurant on the way to your home where you were going to be feeding me. My excuse was exhaustion and pregnancy induced cravings. I've apologized. You've rudely nagged me about it dozens of times. I'm done with this topic. Can you be done with it?" That's probably not the best response, but something along those lines MIGHT shut him up. If it does, maybe your phone relationship can improve enough to want to visit with him in person.

So scary and sad! I don't have a lot of detailed info, but I would encourage her children (presumably your friend is one of them) to immediately proceed with getting guardianship if they can't execute the needed POAs. She is in grave danger as is. If funds for a guardianship process aren't available, then I'd contact Adult Protective Services as well as the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association and the mom's personal doctor . . . and ask/beg all for assistance. If it were me in those shoes, I'd expect to need 5-15k to get going with an attorney. If the kids can't afford that, then they are in deep trouble with few resources. The mom will eventually need a NH that accepts Medicaid and accepts ALZ patients. I'd look into options near the children, in particular whichever child is more likely to step up and take care of Mom. Alternatively, Mom could live with one of her kids, but that would be a heavy burden given the situations. Just hope there is more $$ somewhere . . .

Oh, gosh yes, all drawers for the bottom cabinets. They are SO MUCH more useful. I have 95% drawers on the bottoms. Actually, the only non-drawers are pull out garbages and the "cabinets" under sinks, and a couple of funny corner cabinet things. And some pull out spice racks. Drawers, drawers, drawers are a million times handier. I have one of those light switches inside that controls an exterior outlet for holiday lighting. Super neat! Also, nearly all lighting can be LED. Super awesome, super energy efficient, beautiful light color, lasts for approximately eternity. AWESOME. Our renovations more than doubled the size of our house, but since we replaced all fixtures with LED (and all new ones are LED) and got generally high efficiency HVAC, etc, our utility bills DID NOT RISE despite doubling the size of the house. It's crazy, but true. LED fixtures are no longer super expensive. The lighting forum at HOUZZ will give you all sorts of ideas, but my general advice is to buy CREE fixtures (or bulbs) at Home Depot, in the "warm white" (2700 Kelvin) range. Super super happy.

No on the central vac. (one more thing to break, and you still have to lug out the hoses, etc, so why not just grab a vacuum?) On outlets, add extras. Take the code placements as bare minimums. Think of where you'd put furniture, especially electronics, and put extras there. Add double outlets behind desks or media centers. Wall mounted cable/outlets where you'll hang a TV is nice, too. I put some inside an upper cabinet area over a desk in the kitchen nook. Great for charging phones. Also, be sure on any kitchen seating areas, you have handy outlets for laptops, etc. My comment to my electrician was always, "If in doubt, add an outlet." Outlets in a walk-in pantry are also great. I even put in a counter top in my pantry and added a couple outlets at counter level . . . just in case. :) The Kitchen Forum over on Houzz is INCREDIBLE but very intense. Start reading it now, as it takes a few months to begin to absorb the wisdom. Sort of like these forums are for homeschooling . . . that one is for kitchen design. Paints: Sherwin Williams or Benjamin Moore. Whichever has a more convenient store for you. I love SW, but then again, I've never lived near a BM store. Pick ONE shade of white for ceilings and trim. ONE JUST ONE. I forget the name (but I can find it if you want, as I have some in my garage), but I learned that SW has a primer that is perfect for ceilings. You can get it tinted to the ONE WHITE you pick for your house (I did Westhighland White for 3 houses now, and I love, love, love it). It's so much cheaper than "ceiling paint" and it is AWESOME. One coat coverage, too. I do the same color in a higher quality semi-gloss (Duration) SW paint for all trim and doors. LOVE. (Note, SW has 40% off sales for 3-5 days at a time every 3 months or so. Buy your paint then, and you get close to big box stores for MUCH better paint. I bought at least 100 gallons during our construction . . . So saved thousands by buying on sale. In our laundry rooms (yes, I have two, long story, but my elderly mom lived with us) I had counter tops built over front load machines. AWESOME. HEAVENLY. Totally great. Above my main one, I had upper cabinets on each end and then shorter ones in the middle with a hanging rod for clothes. Great for hang drying delicates or immediately hanging dress clothes out of the dryer.

Check out the Office Lens app (free) for your smart phone. INCREDIBLE. Tag the receipt with date, project/business, and send it to an appropriate file. Then you can throw away the receipt!