I think the issue here is some "volunteer" positions are really more like part time jobs because they are so time intensive and require special skill sets. I know not a soul in that church who was putting in 12 hours per week, 52 weeks a year, in order to teach Sunday School or fill communion cups or greet people at the door. People are starting to balk at being tied down to huge volunteer jobs that are so hard on them. Sure, a lot of things should be voluntary. I am not sure music, finance, custodial, etc. should be when they take so many family hours to accomplish and require time commitments outside the scope of once a month or just a few hours per month.

He would not have been paid. Churches use the unpaid workers until no one will do the job anymore, and then begrudgingly make it a paid position. Mark was the church treasurer at one church we attended. They brought him into the position to straighten out a massive mess with their finances which means he was book keeper, accountant, balance the books, get them on a budget, the whole nine yards. It ended up taking 12 hours a week, and was a total, stressful nightmare. When we left the church, they could not get anyone else to take it since it required more hours than any other volunteer position. They ended up advertising online, and hired someone for $10,000 a year. They started out at $6000 and had to keep increasing. When they got to 10,000, they finally able to hire someone. Same for music. Never wanted to pay for a pianist or worship team leader despite the fact that the hours were way more than other volunteer positions. When we left the other main couple departed as well so they lost worship team lead, head sound tech, and two pianists. They couldn't fill those from within so they had to advertise for pay. $100 a service for the pianists and worship team lead, but I think they got a sound tech for $75 a service. We learned our lesson. If it is a once per quarter, once per month, a couple of hours each time thing, or once per annum long day kind of thing like church nursery on a rotation or Sunday School class or something, then we volunteered. If it was a 52 week a year thing and lots of pressure not to miss, show me the paycheck. We picked one, not particularly time consuming thing to do as volunteers at our next church. We never agreed to anything else unless it was paid. We took a monthly rotation in the preschool class and we volunteered at their annual community outreach event. When they wanted music and finance, we told them what our rates were, and let them think about that. Sometimes they chose to hire us, sometimes not. Even though I have deconstructed, I still love sacred music, especially liturgical music, so I substitute at area churches on occasion when their regular pianist is unavailable, $100.00 a service, check waiting on the piano when I arrive. Keeping it professional like that sure has paid off in being treated nicely, and it keeps things upfront and pleasant so I do not feel any stress and can be, in return, relaxed, gracious, and pleasant. The other thing is that when leaving a volunteer position at a church, it seems to me that they always assume the worst of the person, ill intentions, etc. They never think, "Hey that person has a lot on their plate, or has to focus on family or health, or is burned out and needs a break." Nope. Always the worst. That is very discouraging. If they are going to think the worst of you at the end of the job no matter what you do, it is easier to just take the heat up front and then not have the stress of the job. I don't know why churches operate this way but I think it may come from trying to do more programs, classes, etc. then they can manage so everyone is stressed and running around unable to stop and listen, stop to consider. Someone stepping away is just one more stress so they get fired up. OP, I know you are already done, but your husband was trying to go out the door more gently. Well, they just pulled the gracious and gentle rug right out from underneath him. He doesn't owe them a thing, and most certainly not when the pastor gets to run off at the mouth and be nasty while "sermonizing". Leadership needs accountability or they end up like this pastor. There should be consequences, and the first consequence should be that he doesn't see your dh in church ever again starting now. He abused his power, and he should not get the opportunity to do it again.

No. But I have gone in person and both times the tickets were thrown out. The first one was because the police officer didn't show up for court. (Magistrate's office handles most traffic tickets) I guess this happens a lot because they are busy, and it is an automatic toss of the ticket if they don't make court. It was bogus ticket, and I could prove it, so he wouldn't have liked it. He tried to write me up for doing 45 in a school zone. But it was 6 pm., and the speed signs says 25 from 7 am - 9 am, and then 2-4pm otherwise 45 mph. The magistrate here reads officers the riot act when they waste his time writing bogus tickets. The second instance was one where I took photos of the speed sign which was utterly obliterated by a huge tree. There was no way to know the speed had changed and nothing surrounding it like a school, hospital, subdivision, etc. to give a visual cue. The magistrate threw it out and told the cop he would throw out every single ticket issued in that speed zone until the county hired a tree company to fix the problem. Michigan has the highest cost car insurance in the nation. Horrible. Getting stuck with points on your license makes it jump just about exponentially. It.is.awful. There is no legal penalty for choosing to have your day in court vs. just paying it.

These are great!

I get it! Lewis is our last regular pet. His last vet bill was $450. I don't regret it, but once Mark retires, we have to consider the logistics of fixed income and our own rising medical costs. But, I am a person who likes to have furry things to pet and cuddle. So I may get myself a bunny. I love bunnies, and have had them in the past. I spend a lot of time snuggled with them. The reality is there is no real impetus in veterinary science to do much for rabbits. So they just kind of go until they don't go anymore. There a few things vets can do, but not much, and none of the local vets will give an appointment to a rabbit except to put it down unless it is a low day and the small animal vets aren't busy. There just woke be much for vet bills.

This must be the I69 road construction in Michigan! I swear it is. It.will.never.end.

Melissa, I wish I was there and could hug you! Please tell the nurse, and just hang on tight. I really think you will feel improvements once they establish the treatment plan.

Among evangelicals back then as well as now, many rely on devotionals. These are handed out like candy around here, and were hugely popular even during my childhood and teen years. So the verses of the devotional were impeded in the devotional, and people called that their daily Bible reading. There would be a few paragraphs of commentary, and frankly low brow commentary, no need to read whole portions of the Bible or go systematically through an entire book of the Bible. Just smattering of random verses from here or there and a ton of them from Psalms and Proverbs except at Christmas and Easter which is when the writers would break out Luke. But when you talked to people who used these, they would say they had studied the Bible. About three years before I deconverted and Mark gave up on organized Christianity, we taught a children's class for ages 9-12. One quarter, we taught them the Apostles Creed and systematically worked through the theology with them bit by bit. The parents, across the board, were shocked that there was this handy creed thing. They had no idea it existed. Literally flabbergasted. There were 14 sets of parents represented by the children in this class, and none of them had ever heard of the creed. On top of that, the pastor - Wesleyan ordained - was only vaguely aware of it, and really didn't know the text. Among the parents, four of the dads were elders/deacons. So ya. A lot has changed in Christianity, but I would argue is began about 50 years ago with the Moral Majority, Phyllis Schafly, Jerry Falwell. It became way more important to be politically motivated on a couple of issues than to be well versed in theology which meant moving the people away from Biblical studies and towards prosperity gospel, feel good, emotional worship, and watered down messaging so the masses don't stop to consider what leadership was doing. Just my opinion of where it broke down from someone who used to be in the trenches trying to teach the important, central themes and foundation. I readily recognize that this might not mean much coming from someone who turned her back on the faith.

This was my take as well! Like who is this "you don't need to sacrifice anything" deity because that just doesn't seem to jive with all the other things god told people to do in the Bible.

Wow! I am so glad you finally know what it is, and they are developing a plan. It has been such a long road. I hope you feel so much better soon. If this helps, anecdotally, I had a boss once who developed sarcoid, a very bad case of it, and they were able to treat it, and he did recover and go on with a normal life. That was over fifteen years ago, so I have no doubt they have better treatments now or at least enough research and information to make treatment more efficient. Many hugs, Melissa.

I agree. It is the same principle as getting rid of your maternity clothes. Don't do it! Just save those stupid things until menopause because if you don't, the universe will laugh at all your "permanent measures" to remain without child. So Dawn has to keep Andrew in the new school district if she doesn't want to sell the house or enroll him in the home district so the house sells. This a planetary law like gravity.

Meth addicted and that height to weight ratio? Oof! I think she isn't long for this world if this continues. Wow.

I just finished "The Heat Will Kill You First". Now I am into a mini-farming book, and have been gratified that my accidental raised bed, quasi but not quite square foot gardening which has produced a bumper crop of veggies, was a good way to do it despite bring slightly unintentional! 😂😂😂

And the most unbelievable part about this conspiracy is that not one of these thousands of people have come forward with the definitive proof of the biggest fake ever, sold their story to Paramount Pictures, and retired very wealthy. It just isn't mathematically probable at all.

Dawn, I am so so sorry! This sucks to high heaven. I hope when you move, it will take her forever to figure out where you are. Any chance your police department can go after hers to charge her with making a false report? Maybe that would cool her jets? I don't know. Poor Andrew. I just want to hug him.

Thanks!

Tat is very hard. But, I think you should be hands off. There is a lot of written communication that comes out of city council offices and not all of it comes through administrative assistants who edit heavily. It is best to let the people see that maybe he is not the person for the job.

I have never done that. Now I am intrigued!

Popmom, were you able to save your strawberries? My tomatoes are really coming on together now, and I picked enough today to can probably 7 pints. I will be doing that tonight. I have more jalapenos than I know what to do with, so I think I am going to try to find someone who wants a bunch as well as pickle some to use on nachos this winter. I have so many red chillies that I am getting ready to string them up to hang to dry for the winter. Grape tomatoes and an orange bell pepper diced are in the dehydrator. My second planting of carrots is still maturing, and the scallions and celery still have a couple weeks to go before I can harvest them. More eggplant than I know what to do with them. Cucumbers are done, but the last harvest of them netted eight nice cukes. I have a basil plant I am about to harvest all the leaves off and then pull. I went to my favorite farmer's market today and picked up 3 huge broccoli heads. I cut and blanched enough for 12 servings. Those are now in the freezer in single serving babies inside a gallon bag. This is for my youngest son who is a broccoli eating fiend. I already had 12 servings for him from my broccoli. So it sounds like a lot. But in the grand scheme of things only broccoli once a week for not quite half a year. The more I try to grow and put up the harvest, the more I realize the sheer tonnage of food it takes to feed a family. It get great satisfaction from it, and am trying not to feel like it makes no difference because I produce such small amounts. But, I will expand next year and do more. All my kids are getting several pints of taco/enchilada sauce which was made, except for onions, entirely from my raised beds, and they will get several quarts of dehydrated apples from our trees, some plain tomatoes for making chilli or pasta sauce, dehydrated grape tomatoes for their salads, a jar of peach salsa, and some pickles jalapenos and dried red chillies. I am determined to do a LOT more next year including a large patch of sweet corn and sunflowers for harvesting the seeds to eat. I am a little worried. Check the photo and see what I found. It is too early for me to find this in my yard from my maple trees. It means that our zero rain from May 7 - June 13 caused enough stress that the trees didn't fully recover. Ugh. I am not ready for this. I need more summer in order to get everything done, and accomplish all the things in the gardens. 😡

I agree. Also, let me just say that these kinds of temps, and especially if there is any significant humidity present, are not good for the instruments of the band, either. I once played in 100 degree weather for an outdoor concert, and by the time the concert was halfway through, we had adjusted our instruments as far as we could, and could no longer keep them in tune. I spent a LOT of time trying to get moisture out of my flute and piccolo. The pads were drenched. And of course any wind instrument is already experiencing spit/breath moisture on top of it. There was no wind circulating. Beyond miserable! And folks who came to the concert started leaving by the half because it wasn't comfortable for them either. They were at least spared the 2nd half which was the out of tune ear damaging mess. Of course, I think high school football is absolutely stupid. My high school had a rule that if you wanted to play in orchestra or concert band and were woodwind, brass, or percussion, you had to be in marching band as well. That was when I knew that I made grievous error in not choosing cello! It was a great relief to drop music in high school because I was full time dual enrolled in college. The college I was at did not require us to play in marching band. Oh the joy!! As for the football players, 100 outside and all of their padding, tapping, etc. this is dangerous. They can't cool themselves properly from evaporation because the uniforms and protective gear will hold the sweat close to their skin. That is fine when it is 50 outside and fall, crisp air, but beyond stupid right now. The whole damn sport is ludicrous anyway. I still can't figure out why schools and parents are hell bent on scrambling their kids brains, blowing out their knees, and making them arthritic by 35 just so they can entertain the masses as modern day gladiators. Just.stop.it.

There is a home church of people in the county seat, and they are a flat earther church. So as part of that belief system they do not believe anyone has been to space or "outside the biodome". One of the leaders is a chiropractor, and his wife is a nurse. I have met and chatted with them. They don't present as unbalanced, but man when that flat earth stuff comes rolling out, it makes my brain twitch. I figure they are no good at math. Getting ten people to keep a secret is a major achievement. Getting a hundred people to keep their mouths shut is monumental. Keep what now has to be hundreds of thousands of NASA and NASA adjacent people plus politicians plus other countries with space programs ALL maintaining the lie ranks right up there with the probability that a Gerard Butler film will be good! 😂😂😂

Yes. I get that. I really do. It seemed like when I was in college, the bar was quite low for elementary education majors, and then some would complain about the work load. 🙄 Meanwhile the secondary ed majors taking advanced physics, calculus, advanced literary analysis, etc. were working hard. I felt like the people who would be working with children to form the very foundation of their education were NOT applying themselves, and getting away with poor college educations. Given that what we have is not working, not working at all, I would be happy I'd the bar was "subject next matter expertise in the form of associate's degree plus 10 years field experience and talks like an enthusiastic nerd about their subject" or "bachelor's degree plus total geek squad neediness and sounds like this person would get the student's attention and keep it". The other stuff isn't getting the job done. Mark's high school chem teacher was not qualified to teach the class, but got stuck with it anyone. He ended up remembering every single thing that guy taught. Basic textbook, wild geek at the helm. Of course he did nearly kill the class accidentally making chlorine gas, but the kids were smart enough to jump out the windows and doors, and thankfully, the room was on the main floor of the building! 😂 Still. He did manage to teach the basics and the students remembered it. That has to count for something even if the hazmat fire squad had to come ventilated the school after it was evacuated. 😁 In seriousness, on my side of Michigan, we just don't have the pods, micro schools, and outreach programs. Maybe that is because the state law says that the education has to take place in the student's home with a parent teaching. So means just finding community sports and music, instrument lessons, etc. for extracurricular but know real academics. There is one program called the homeschool partnership that does allow up to $350 per student for two classes a semester that are not core classes through the public school but taught by homeschoolers. The district gets the per head funding for a part time student, hire someone to administrate the program, data person for enrollment, and then a PS licensed teacher to touch base with the students. But the vast majority of public schools do not operate one of these. And, the limits are strict. So a rocket club is a yes, but a physics class is a no because that is a core class. Virtually nothing that is labeled a math or English class is a go. History isn't a go. Nature studies would be okay. No foreign language but quilting or sewing class would be okay. Can't have band or choir, but it will go towards lessons on an instrument. plus, the student has to check in each week on their account and answer questions about what they learned that week. The instructor for these things has to register as a contracting instructor thorough the school district, pay for a background check, and pay for fingerprinting. This was about $150 a few years ago. Most of the parents who approached me wanted me to teach the entire semester of piano lessons for that $350. Take that $150 out of it, and that was $200 left for 18 weeks because we were supposed to do the 36 week PS calendar. Just over $10 a lesson. Nope. I have a bachelor's degree in piano performance and in music ed. The going rate is $30 per lesson. I would have been okay discounting it to $25 with the parents paying the $15 per lesson balance. But not less than that because in order to belong to the program, I also had to take time to report progress to the PS teacher who reviews the online student stuff every single week. So the above thing is not popular, and very few school districts have been willing to participate. Other than that, there really isn't anything, and I don't really see the micro school or pod thing catching on. Most communities on my side of the state do not even have a loosely knit homeschool group just for play dates or an occasional field trip. But as always, the state board of Ed can suck it because they really have sunk so low, they can't make a case for coming after homeschoolers for educational neglect. It is just that bad around here.

How is everyone holding up? Hoping all our folks and their families and friends are safe!

A half peck of peaches was made into salsa yesterday. When the apples ripen, A LOT of them will be processed into dehydrated apple rings. The entire family loves them so they will be distributed among the family. Blackberries went into the freezer winter. Tomorrow I am making some peach filled empanadas for my mother in law who has company coming, and a lot of cooking to do so I told her I would make a dessert for her.