You didn't fail. Don't even think that way. Their bios failed, miserably, utterly failed. They were traumatized by this failure some folks never ever get over the trauma no matter what others do to try to help them. This is NOT on you. Could they go to the special school 5 days a week instead of just 3 while you are recovering? It would give your dh more relief.

In the music performance profession, there is a lot of discrimination. A man can look like a fossil, and if he plays his instrument well, everything is good. Grey haired woman looking her age? Ha ha ha ha ha ha...nope. I know a ton of female performers who spend a lot of money disguising age so they can keep working. It sucks. I do color my hair, but that is for me. I have a reddish mahogany and sometimes add a little lavender or purple here and there for fun. I only pop in contacts, and do a bunch of make up when I have a paid music gig. If I were to finish my degree in aerospace engineering, I am not sure what I would encounter, but since it is predominately a male field and I would be coming into it at 55, I am pretty certain the only way I would get hired is to have some plastic surgery, keep the hair died and trendy, etc. I wish I had known a couple of decades ago just how much I would end up loving aerospace so I could have reinvented my career trajectory at an age when I had a much better chance of employment. My acquaintances in other fields seem to be able to wear their age without issue.

Melissa, I am happy for you to go home and yet concerned. But still, if you feel ready to go, then I am cheering. Will they send a physical therapist to your home?

You see it all the time up here. I think some states are a lot stricter than others. Mark replaced the roof over the addition last autumn, and he wore all the safety gear. If you chose to work construction in the future, don't let careless coworkers make you feel self conscious about wearing it. I have never understood other people fascination with broken bones, head injuries, and paralysis. If is awesome that you are being taught how to use it. You are rocking it, Heart! I am so sorry it is taking so long to find a job.

Emerald Ash borer had been a beast to the ash trees. Otherwise, for the moment, we are doing okay. I will say our maples which are about 125 years old are looking rough in spots. They aren't dying per se. But there are some limbs that are cracked and branches not producing leaves well, so we need to have them pruned. Asian longhorned beetle is supposed to be on its way and that is going to go after the maples, however we have seen any signs of it yet.

Woot! I like hearing this report! ❤

This is my method. It is not scientific. 😁 Hate it with the fire of a thousands suns = Most in style thing available Hate it was significant disdain = Highly stylish Hate it = Fairly in style Dislike it = Just barely in style Meh = Classic, won't ever be "in" but also won't be "out" Kind of maybe sort of like it = Starting to trend out Like it = Out of Style Really like it = Very out of style Love it = So out of style people will turn their heads and stare This is of course of no value to you unless you post pictures of things you think might be in style, and then I give you my reaction so you can check this handy chart. 😉

Melissa, I am so sorry! I hope they get to the bottom of this quickly. Hugs

Sometimes I think the worst of the fascists congregate together on rural zoning boards. One of the worst ones I know about tried to fine a horse farm on land zoned agricultural for not mowing a field. It was hay that wasn't ready to cut! The evil little dictators were positively awful about it. I sent a letter to the zoning board and suggested that if their little, delicate snowflake hearts were so easily pierced by the mere action of agriculture happening in an agricultural community, they should move back to suburbia. They weren't amused. Too bad. It was ridiculous. The thing is, a lot of this crappy zoning stuff is going to change either by force of will, the people resisting and doing what they need to do, or by legislative agenda because the deck is so entirely stacked against Gen Z and Gen Alpha, that multifamily homes of related folks, not apartment dwellers with each family having their own space, is going to be necessary or there will be a massive homeless population. Tiny houses, cabins, large homes split into living spaces for multiple families but not independent zoned space for rentals will have to become the norm. What we have is not tenable and with out of control housing costs, corporations buying up everything to make vacation rentals, wages so bizarrely low for the cost of living in so many places, young people will need to live with relatives for many years to come, and a lot of elderly folks can't pay the bills anymore on what they managed to save for retirement and social security. Something will have to give, and legislators and zoning boards will eventually feel tremendous pain of everyone rebelling against this stuff whether they like it or not. It is one thing to go after a single family in a township. It is quite another to fight with 40, 50, or 100 families in a single township or village. But until then, folks really do have to do their research to figure out what they can make work for the family around the maze of red tape in every locale.

I actually hate football. My father was obsessed so every football season though I needed to practice the piano two hours per day on school days and four per day on weekends, I had to go to my aunt's home to get my four hours on Sunday because he refused to move the tv into his bedroom or go to a friends house to watch. He did not attend my fall recitals because they were always on a Sunday afternoon, and football. The only time he ever missed football on t.v. was when my brother was in marching band and had a Sunday afternoon parade. He was willing to miss football for his golden boy's event. So my hatred of the game deepened. We got hassled one time by some 4H leaders because we didn't root for MSU football. Well, it wasn't like we rooted for UM Wolverines! We literally didn't give a rip about the game regardless of who was playing. They thought that was disloyal to MSU who administrators 4H. You know....because apparently that's the only reason for the existence of MSU, football. 🙄🙄🙄 So I get it.

Just a quick reminder to anyone thinking about 2nd houses, tiny houses, guest cottages, etc. to check your township zoning. It isn't just a matter of not having an HOA, townships sometimes restrict 2nd homes of any kind on the same property even if you own acreage. In those cases, you usually need to pay for surveying, and parcel off a piece of the property from the original, and then run a well and septic if the property is ineligible to hook up to city water. Our township will allow someone to live on our property in a camper for up to 30 days but not more than that. We are entitled to a guest house on our well and septic, but in the township north of here, they have zoning against that. Guest quarters over a garage or in a basement is what folks do or apply for a zoning waiver to divide the house into a duplex. I know some townships give those waivers, and yet others who absolutely will not. We have been checking into this because we want to have a summer place up north for the summers - Alabama is too hot for us from May-September, and summer gardens are a problem because of this. So we want a place in our beautiful Great Lakes, and we want to have an area for all of our adult kids and honorary kids to come camp for vacations. We are having to look way outside of towns and in certain townships. There are places we can buy 10 acres, put in a deep well, a bigger septic system, and then toss up a bathhouse, a small home for us, and allow multiple campers or tents. None of these places are close to well developed areas. We are also looking at buying a couple cute 12x16 sheds to finish out into guest houses. But again, we are limited in areas to choose from due to desiring this.

This. There is liability here. I started taking care of my father, then realized I was in over my head, and tried to back out. A relative called the police, and I was nearly charged with eldercare abuse/abandonment. If he had been in a facility, I could not be charged because placing him in a facility is considered adequate care. Saraha, you have such p.o.s. relatives that I could totally see them vindictively calling authorities if you start providing care of any kind and then back out. The only thing that awarded off the county prosecutor who is a total zealot about "family should be required to care for family" kind of guy was that I had three journalists on the line on my phone when he asked to talk to me, and he really didn't want to deal with public fall out. I also told him that I had my lawyer ready to intervene, and had picked out my outfit for when I surrendered to authorities as well as a photographer from the local newspaper who agreed to show up to document the whole thing in pictures. It was an election year for the twit so he backed down, and I never heard another word. We also had to hire an attorney to represent out minor teens against extended family who were attempting to rope them into providing shifts of care AND wanting them to drive their grandfather to see my mom while there was a restraining order in place against him thus trying to make them accessories to violating the restraining order. O could write a horror novel based on this portion of my life. We were out of country when this happened, the kids called us shaking in fear over what their uncle, aunt, and my mom were trying to make them do. So we had to arrange for a lawyer to call and lambast my father, mother, and siblings all arranged long distance and at great expense. Just don't. Let the horror I lived be a warning to Saraha and all of you.

Please stop. I am begging you. Do not volunteer for two nights a week. You need to stop propping up this madness. Cat woman said it best.

In your climate, I would expect a 30 lb cylinder of propane to used up every 60 hours, at the outside 72 hours. RV propane here is about $48 to fill a 30 lb tank so roughly $480-576 per month in your cold season plus electricity. This will keep him from freezing. Due to the utter lack of insulation, he will not be comfortable. That is a lot of heating money for such a tiny space, and in order to sleep decently, he definitely needs an electric blanket for the bed. On top of rent which is never cheap, I am not sure if this is better than just looking for an Extended Stay hotel where he would have a little kitchen, warm bed, decent bathroom, etc. Please do not use a space heater in an RV. They are big fire hazard because the electrical wiring inside rv's is cheap, and is not rated for this. They can easily overheat the wiring in the walls and start a fire. These things are not built for wintering over. People who embrace the RV life make for the south, West Coast, or Southwest for winter.

This right here. I allowed guilt and manipulation to rule me, and my kids, especially my middle son, suffered because of it. I had to rebuild my relationship with him, and earn his trust again. We are good now. But honestly, I can hardly live with myself over it. Every time we are together there are subtle reminders that if he were not such an amazing, forgiving kid, I would be dead to him. I also threw my marriage under the bus for eldercare, and it is ONLY the fact that my long suffering husband was willing to let a tremendous load of sh#t go by, and didn't make me grovel when I realized it, that we are still married and in a good place today. The reality is also that in times past, the elderly did not receive devoted nursing from their relatives and often did die much more quickly due to the lack of care. No one could raise kids, raise food, cook over open fires, put up the harvest, haul water, do all the things required just to live AND provide nursing care to elders for years and years. It is a modern phenomenon due to medical advances that allow folks to live indefinitely as invalids. We are struggling as a society to adjust to this, and many families have very unrealistic expectations about aging in place. It is really tough to sort out. But don't throw your kids and your own health under the bus. Stay strong. Be done! She requires 24/7 nursing staff. Do not participate in advancing their delusions.

I can handle that!

Is m terribly allergic. I used to volunteer at a food pantry to deliver groceries to people who couldn't drive. I had to give it up because inevitably I would have to carry grocery bags into people homes. I would get so sick, and had numerous bouts of bronchitis. So if I had a paid position, it would be a hard no going into smokers' homes.

Please, Saraha, pull the plug. Tell them no. Tell them you are done, very very done. Do not participate in their system which is preventing your MIL from being cared for properly, and is causing her to be neglected. Just stand strong! We are with you.

We have stayed in Rapid City and visited Badlands, Custer, etc. We did it on a budget with five adults (our three adult sons along), and so we relied entirely on providing our own food. Rapid City had more than one major supermarket plus Wal-Mart so you will be able to find what you need. Since you fly in, try ROAMN AROUND for camping rentals to see if you can rent a good cooler. We took a little table top grill with us, and you might find you can also rent that as well. I would be tempted to buy the bamboo biodegrable plates and utensils from Amazon and take them with you or ask the hotel in Dead wood if you can have them delivered, and then run by the goodwill in Rapid City to grab a large metal pancake turner and tongs for grilling. The Museum of Geology at the School of Mines was really nice. Bad lands and Custer have picnic tables, and at Badlands at the visitor center, these are surrounded by a shade cover so you are right at the center for bathrooms and potable water. One of my quick gf travel meals include mixing canned chicken with cream cheese and spreading it on gf crackers and celery sticks.

Do nor file without a lawyer. Seriously. They don't want to be playing catch up, and divorce paperwork is more complicated than just indicating "I want a divorce".

Oh, okay. I still think they will do it for $30 an hour and a donut if they do not have to drive too far.

I think a lot of young people trying to pick up weekend work for extra cash would be satisfied with $30 an hour. It is hard work though. Very hard. So I would also keep doughnuts and coffee around in the morning for fun, and get good pizza and salad for lunch so folks can eat as they need to and well, in my experience, twenty something males will do a LOT for good pizza, unlike females who are like "for lobster and chocolate truffles maybe, but pizza ain't gonna fly". 😂

The most popular care package I ever sent had just two things in it. Gift cards to Taco Bell, and two cans of silly string for each person, college student plus his 4 friends. Ya. Back then, silly string was like $1.50 a can. They had a silly string fight and then loaded up on cheap tacos. Apparently this made me "Da Bomb" on his dorm floor. I lost that title to my won mother who sent him for Finals week, a bunch of packets of Swiss Miss, package of marshmallows, and 5 dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies wrapped in bubble wrap so they would not get broken or crushed. He shared with everyone, and my fame sank into oblivion until next semester.

I am so sorry Melissa. I think maybe your dh needs more down time from them. Could they go to their special needs program 5 days per week for the foreseeable future?

At this stage of life, I would choose money over fulfillment, and then trim the budget where I could, and stash money away for retirement. You will have less stress during those years of life when you aren't working, are not able to work, if you are more financially sound.