I'd add: Able to advocate for themselves for their learning needs. With the disability office, the instructor, other classmates or assigned note takers, etc. It is critical that our kids know how to ask for their accommodations respectfully and through the proper channels. Also that they know how to stand up for themselves when well meaning but ignorant or inexperienced individuals do not honor their accommodations. Also, time management. Having a GOOD understanding of how long certain tasks will take them and budgeting that amount or more of focused time. Not giving up because the tasks take them longer than others but just accounting for that time and planning it in. Acceptance of their strengths and weaknesses and themselves.

It is great that school has been a positive change for him. I do get it because the homeschool to school situation is very similar for my ds, but I'm not sure how much the experience would sour for me if I constantly had to advocate with the school. That is just stressful and takes a toll on the whole family. As far as this scholarship situation, that is so unique to Ohio that you may have to consider how much that is worth to you. I don't know how much you get from it, but would it be worth it to go with a school that does not do the PS IEPs but will just flat out give you the accommodations with no struggle? Time and energy are finite resources too, just different ones. ;) Just a thought. We drive far for our school too. It is 1 hr during rush hour even though the location is not far away by distance. It is so worth it to get the best experience for ds though.

I agree. It seems to me there is a cost/benefit analysis that needs to happen here. The only reason we considered private school is because ours point blank accepted every recommendation from our neuropsych report and put them into practice immediately without any necessary formal plan or paperwork. The school's only request was that we have a neuropsych eval done for each level of schooling, elementary, middle, and high school, for updated recommendations. If I had to fight with a private school for accommodations/IEP just as much as a public school, and I was paying for the privilege, you better believe my kids wouldn't last long in that school. At what point is this whole process just not worth it and homeschooling becomes the better option again? Are there other schools that might be a better fit or that are easier to work with as parents?

Yes, yes, and yes. But you need the IQ test to get the discrepancy scores for low processing speed. Hopefully these psychs are people who have experience with 2E issues and kids who regularly hit the ceilings of subtests so they know what they are dealing with here and can give accurate diagnoses. Quite honestly, my oldest ds is *slow*. It is crazy making how slow he is. He is also PG and talks as such, so no one believes that he really can't control his performance speed on tasks.They just assume he is being lazy, not focusing, or doesn't care enough to put effort into his work. It is very helpful to have documentation pointing out that even though you don't expect it because of how the kid responds to you, he really is going as fast as he can and just has massive processing speed issues.

You need an IQ test to get the working memory and processing speed info compared to expected ability. I'd go with either psychologist 1 or 2, probably 1 if you suspect your ds would hit ceilings because the Stanford-Binet is supposed to be more accurate for kids who top out on the WISC.

I'm not sure about the end game at this point, but I can tell you that the EF skills alone make me thrilled we decided to go with the lower grade. I knew ds was behind in EF skills but I had no *idea* how far behind he was, and I can tell now that he is in school with same age peers. He is WAY behind in independence, organization, and general EF management skills. I think we will get there and thankfully his charm makes a lot of people more willing to put up with his quirks, but I'm so grateful we decided to go with the lower grade to give the EF more time to mature and develop. Socially, the lower grade has helped too. We can always find ways to challenge him academically with additional courses, mentors, etc. but for us anyway, the EF & social/emotional had become the biggest barriers to moving forward. We just had to pause and let him work that out, even if he all the math is a review for awhile.

Yes to everything Wapiti posted. Our private school operates a bus but it runs an additional $2000 for the year. Financial aid for tuition does exist, but it is usually a 30% or less scholarship and is income based. 35 miles is far. That would be way too far for us. We drive about half that distance across an urban area and the commute time doubles before school and after any afterschool activities. Depending on the area, I would seriously consider moving if she does gain admission.

So sorry, Crimson! She is so lucky to have a Mom like you working so hard to learn and help her.

There isn't much I didn't use with older ds. He loves math and is willing to do a lot of it. I'm only realizing how different that is in contrast to younger ds. With younger ds we haven't used Hands on Equations or Penrose or Patty Paper Geometry (but I used all 3 at various points with older ds so I think it just depends on the kid).

Please add me. :) Public/private school related choices are ok to post about too, yes?

One Note just released a Learning Tools plug-in that includes dictation.

I'm a far better teacher for the experience. I remember a special ed prof in grad school talking about how generally any accommodations we would see on IEPs or 504s would be beneficial for the learning of *all* students and I just didn't believe it. Having so much experience with accommodations now I see just how true that statement was. All classrooms would benefit tremendously from being dyslexia/dysgraphia/dyscalculia (or insert whatever dys here) friendly and inclusive. It would really only serve to increase the learning for all students - particularly those who are borderline, stealth, or otherwise undiagnosed.

Oh yes, all our clock problems would be done in Roman Numerals, finishing one math problem equals one crash jump from couch to beanbag, one math problem done by you equals one quiz question I have to answer about Pokemon/Minecraft/etc. We've gone through all this craziness too!!

This is essentially our situation as well, except that ds asked for the laptop. He tried without it for a week or so and then requested that he bring it to get more written down in class (vs. having to do more work at home that he didn't finish). He just wishes other kids also used one or that he wasn't the only one who needs it (even as he recognizes that he really does need it and it makes he day go much more smoothly).

Sounds like this is exactly what we need. I was hoping the response would be something like that. Ds just needs to review the bits he's missing in class due to processing issues.

The local elementary school is 8:30-3:00pm, so 6.5 hours. Ds's private school is 8:15-3:00pm, so 15min longer.

This is exactly where we are at right now. Any suggestions for dealing with the emotional side of those issues? So far, we have not had the nastiness from other students but ds definitely feels different. We are trying to help him work through those feelings (it helps that we have a psychologist in the immediate family) but any books, articles, suggestions on get tweens/teens to be comfortable with who they are and using their accommodations? We've explained that more and more students will be using computers by choice the closer he gets to high school. That knowledge seemed to help some and make him feel ahead of the situation.

What systems have worked for your EF, ADD, or just generally scatterbrained kids? Older ds is now in school and is handling the content very well but struggling with turning in papers on time, writing down instructions, or losing papers, clothing, and materials. He has full accommodations and a planner - including a cell phone and permission to take pictures of the teacher's notes and the board but he just forgets and the information goes in one ear and out the other. What systems can we set up to help him get or pay attention to the right information? We are starting a daily checklist in his binder and set reminders on his phone to go off just before he leaves school. What else can we try?

Heathermomster - do you have an update on Livescribe? How are you liking it now? Still useful?

Derek Owens worked well for my kid like that. Very visual.

Dh (stealth dyslexic/dysgraphic) says it is because it transfers a more verbal/phonemic task into a spatial one, which works better for his brain to process. He no longer thinks about typing letter by letter, but swipes by shapes and is able to think in whole words instead. It also allows him to type much faster than his slow processing normally would and speeds up the entire task. It effectively transfers a writing/typing task that might be more difficult for a dyslexic into one that works with his spatial strengths. :)

Type. Teach typing, swipe typing, dictation on iPad, etc. I have two with pretty severe dysgraphia and if that is what you are dealing with, it just doesn't get better. They get better at accommodating themselves as they get older, but it just. never. goes. away. or gets remediated. I have a dh with dysgraphia also and he *adores* his smart phone. He has learned that swipe typing system and even though he is in a profession with loads of notes and paperwork, he does all notes and work on his phone or computer very, very successfully. That is going to be the reality in adulthood for nearly all dysgraphics. The faster they can get the diagnosis & paperwork for accommodations and the faster you can get them to accept and use those accommodations, the better. They have to have a system to get around the blockage that is dysgraphia.

We are part of this shift. I just enrolled my older ds in a lovely private school. Adolescence is tough and our social support was dropping. So many of his friends returned to school this year and I started to feel that short of driving all over I was not doing a good job providing enough specials for interests or social needs. The job thing was a big part of it too. I've been at home or working very part time for 11 years. We never intended for me to be out of the workforce for that long and our longer term retirement goals depend on me heading back to work. I'm not the type who will be happy working full time from home, so that transition will require the kids to be in a school. But yes, the social situation and adolescence, along with a no longer compliant older child, were the main drivers for the change. If he had wanted to stay at home and was more consistent with completing work independently, we could have made it work for a few more years.

When is his birthday? Would you consider changing grade levels? The reality here is that most 12 y.o.s are 6th graders, not 7th graders. The extra breathing room might help in a situation like this. It could provide you with 2.5 years until high school. Just a thought.

Much, much bigger deal with a chronic illness. ;)