Many reasons. Here are a few: Because there can be serious side effects and because there is a stigma against meds and because sometimes due comorbid issues meds don't help or make things worse and because some people hate how it makes them feel.

If you have never been organized and have always had tons of thoughts crowding your brain it can be exceedingly difficult to even strategize a better plan. That is why I usually highly recommend reading books like Smart but Scattered for those with ADHD and those who live with someone with ADHD. I was once a pretty organized person. I know what it is like to be organized and on top of things. When, due to cancer, my brain got really "scattered" I knew how to help myself. I started creating a ton of external scaffolding to keep me on task. Since my own brain could no longer stay on task, I had to create ways for things outside my brain to help me stay on task. BUT I already knew what staying organized felt like. I already knew strategies to keep me on task. My DH and my kids did not even have a concept of how to do that. For someone who has never been organized and not easily distracted it is not something that is easily "fixed". And holding onto the thought long enough to implement a better plan can be nearly impossible. They live in the moment that is happening right then. If it is not NOW, it is gone. That is where having someone else (who doesn't nag, judge or cut down) step in to help them put in external scaffolding, then help them to learn how to create that external scaffolding themselves, can be invaluable.

1. Have you considered that she might have Executive Function deficits and may need some scaffolding (Not nagging and controlling but scaffolding) to help her keep track of things? Read Smart but Scattered for a bit of help with this. 2. If you are the one buying the name label clothing and she really doesn't care if she is wearing name label clothing I would stop buying her name label clothing (I don't even buy myself $120 jeans). Since shoes are also an issue, honestly I would just set up a budget for her to work within. When something wears out she can decide how to use her clothing/shoe budget. If she doesn't have the money for fancy boots or name label clothing, so be it. If she doesn't care, you can't make her care about fancy shoes and clothing. And frankly, I would not be wanting my child to desire name label clothing and fancy shoes. 3. If you don't want her to wear clothing that is dirty and with holes in it, make that a rule but let her wear the clothes she wants to wear as long as the clothing is clean and without holes.

Maybe this will help a little...although I don't know exactly what is going on with your particular child, this is what frequently happens with my brain and with the brain of one my kids and with DH... She uses the toilet paper and the paper is now out. She thinks she needs to change out the paper but right after that a zillion other thoughts crowd into her brain and the thought that she needs to change out the paper is now gone. By the time she is out of the bathroom it is as if the thought never existed in the first place. She is not deliberately refusing to change the toilet paper. The need just got shoved aside as her brain moved on rapidly to other things, not out of laziness but because her brain just works differently than yours. You text her to pick up something from the office. She acknowledges your text and fully intends to go to the office but maybe she is doing something else right at that moment. She plans to do it right after whatever she was doing. Only by the time she finishes whatever she was doing, even if it was only for a few seconds, her mind is now filled with a ton of other thoughts and your request is simply gone. This isn't laziness as I see it. This is a difference in neurological processing that can cause some serious issues with Executive Function (the part of the brain that says I need to do something and then actually executes that need). Please read Smart but Scattered and ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life to hopefully get a better idea of the world of an ADHD brain and how to help with functionality. OP, it might help you, too.

Does ADHD = Lazy? No. Do many think so? Yes. Let me share a story, in case it helps OP. I have an adult friend. All of her life she was labeled as "scatter brained", "lazy", "unfocused", etc. It severely affected her self-esteem. She is very bright but struggled in school to get through assignments, remember to turn things in, keep up with her belongings, get anywhere on time, etc. Parents told her to try harder, school told her to stop being so lazy. She felt very deffective. She got married and she and her husband started having some issues in their marriage because she was so "scatter brained". A traumatic episode (unrelated to her issues with focus and organization) occurred that caused her to need physical therapy and to go into a deep depression. During the course of that year of being treated physically and mentally her psychologist asked if she had ever looked into ADHD. She had not. The psychologist put her through a battery of tests and coordinated those tests with her GP to see if there were underlying imbalances in her health that were not being addressed. After running through those tests the GP and the psychologist agreed that the woman probably ADHD. The psychologist asked the woman to give her a running commentary of what she was thinking from moment to moment. The woman gave a stream of consciousness blow by blow of the tons of thoughts running through her head at any given second. The psychologist pointed out that most people can push less important thoughts to the side and focus on just one or two things at a time. The woman couldn't even picture what that might be like. It seemed inefficient to her. The psychologist asked her to do a trial of a very low dose stimulant, and to consider a program of behavior therapy coupled with medication. The woman agreed to try the low dose stimulant. She took it at the office and drove home. She hopped in the shower. While she was in the shower her thoughts changed. She was listening to the water falling and realized that was all she was listening to. No other thoughts were really intruding. The whole world had slowed down. She was terrified. She leaped out of the shower and ran to the phone. She called the psychologist sobbing and told her the psychologist had broken her brain. Fast forward to several years later, when I met her. She said it took time to get used to focusing on one thought at a time but it changed her world. Knowing and understanding her brain helped 1000%. Her functionality improved tremendously. She no longer saw herself as defective and stupid and scatter brained. During the day, when she needs to focus on her work duties and taking care of getting the kids to and from school and the other needs of her family, medication absolutely keeps her on task much more successfully, along with a much more understanding husband who now knows how to provide the external structure she needs to function well on a daily basis. And at night, when she is working on creative projects and the meds have worn off she can let her mind leap in a thousand different directions, creating away. The meds don't "fix" her but they help her function in a very ADHD unfriendly world. But she also can tap into her ADHD strengths when she is not on her meds.

We drove for two days with 4 cats and a Golden Retriever. Two cats per carrier, carriers stacked on top of one another with the dog in the remaining space in the back seat. We carried disposable litter boxes. Every 3 hours we would stop and let the dog walk around, do her business, drink water, get a small bite to eat. We would also let the cats out to use the litter box, get some water and a small snack, but we kept them in the car. We would toss the litter box in a trash bag and throw it away. We did not stop to see any sites. We just drove and drove and drove. It was not easy but we made it. If you want to stop along the way then is there anyone you could leave the cats with until you are at your destination? They could have a vet administer a sedative and put them on a plane for shipping to your location. If you knew you were needing to take a trip out there before the actual move, you could fly the cats out early, board them at a kennel, fly back for the move and get them out of the kennel when you arrive. Expensive, but probably easier on the cats and the family. I would definitely look for a kennel with an excellent reputation for long-term care. You can sometimes hire people to drive animals across country but unless they are people with a ton of experience and a great reputation and some way of verifying past experience, I would seriously hesitate to go this route.

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray: I am not a baseball fan, but even I recognize how huge this is. Big cheers to the Cubs and hugs of joy to Cubs fans. :)

If you can find a good deal, you might be able to get a Toyota Rav-4 at that price. 2013 or newer. They redesigned it for 2013 with additional safety features. There is a hybrid version but I don't know if the 2013 had one. ETA: We were in this same situation and bought a vehicle just a few days ago. We looked at and almost got the Rav but really needed a larger vehicle. We really liked the Rav-4, though. We found that dealerships tend to give better deals at the end of a month than at the beginning. And if you are going to trade something in don't let them low ball the value of the trade-in. Know ahead of time what it is worth. Shop around for a loan. Start with your bank and see if they have any specials running. Ours did. The car guy we bought our vehicle from crunched the numbers for financing with him and admitted he could not beat our bank's special rate.

I am so sorry. Brain chemistry is horrifically tricky. Sending positive thoughts and hopes and best wishes.

I had not heard of this but hey, if it might help I would definitely pursue this. FWIW, it took me 4 times before I passed my driving test. And I don't have any diagnosis. I know what I needed was a LOT more practice. Like a LOT of practice. Way, way, way more than my peers needed. I probably would have been better practicing daily for a couple of years before trying for my license. DD is very nervous about learning to drive. So nervous she has asked to wait until she is at least 17 to even start seriously practicing. I promised her that we would give her a LOT of practice, daily, for as long as she needs, even if that means years. Only when she feels safe will we have her take her test. She has issues with low working memory, some inattentive issues, procedural issues, etc. My biggest concern is not getting her license but actually being safe driving. A car can be a powerful and deadly thing. In other words, if there is a place that can give your son specialized practice and instruction, in your situation I would absolutely pursue it. I wish we had something like that down here but I seriously doubt that we do. I would also continue having him practice a LOT with you or your husband. Over practice. Being safe is more important than getting a license. Good luck and best wishes.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Hugs OP as you navigate these waters. I think your plan for an overhaul of the entire household food/health plan is great (and we need to do that here, too). I agree with others, the constant craving for sugar would be concerning to me. I am hypoglycemic. I was not diagnosed as such for years even though I was having some issues. The biggest one was that I craved sugary things all.the.time. Doctors missed it. I finally had a full, multi-hour glucose tolerance test in my teens that gave us the answers we needed. You might consider finding a specialist to pursue this further. If there IS an underlying medical issue finding out and addressing it now will be easier and safer than waiting until the pre-teen hormonal years.

It depends. Sometimes the kids do their own, sometimes I do the laundry. Once in a rare blue moon DH will do laundry. Socks are now an issue because DD and I wear the same size and DS and DH are getting closer to the same size and wear the same brand. Thankfully we rarely wear socks, though. Its still 90 degrees outside so barefoot or sandals are the name of the game. In your case, yep, I'd have them do their own laundry if you think they generate enough clothing to warrant individual loads.

Agreed, you have been not really liking a lot about where you live, at least from other posts. Now that there is the possibility of moving you are having anxiety about moving and that is also a normal reaction for a lot of people. To make a rational decision you need more info, though. As others have said, don't borrow stress. Have DH put out those resumes and see what he is offered. Then plan to do research on concrete locations where there is actually a job offer. At that point you will have more to work with in the way of real knowledge. If nothing really feels right, you don't have to move and it might make staying feel like a better choice than it had in the past because you had concrete places to compare your current location to. Or you may find a place that meets more of the family's needs. No place is perfect but you might find a better balance. Or realize things are better where you are than you had realized. Get solid information, though, before you stress out too much. And in the meantime, declutter, clean up, etc. Maybe pick one room and work at it 15-30 minutes a day. Then move on to the next room. Don't let the process overwhelm you. Keep it simple. Don't over think it. If you end up moving then decluttering will make the process easier and if you don't end up moving it will make your current home a more pleasant place to be.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Depends on how much is left but usually I pull out the pages, put them in a file labeled by skills/subject and use them as review pages or "on the go" pages and pull out as needed. Sometimes it helps to have a refresher and sometimes the kids need a boost by doing something they already know how to do. And sometimes I just give the workbooks away . One of the ladies here cannot afford to buy the workbooks on her own but has the TM for the same system I was using. She copied the pages that were already used onto white board/notebook paper for the kids to work on then used the pages that hadn't been used when they got to that point.

Do some problems together on a white board to make sure he is understanding. Then he can do some on his own but with you nearby to confirm he is doing it correctly. Pick some problems to do again in rotation. Or what you might do is have a program that is more spiral with a LOT of built in review, like CLE, as the spine but use Beast as the conceptual side of things. Rotate or do some of each each day. Some kids do better with Beast as the enhancement program, not the spine.

I agree, it is time for evaluations. Don't keep waiting like I did. Get answers. Look for a neuropsychologist that does a full battery of tests, including for dyslexia. Dyslexia is often comorbid with other issues AND underlying strengths that the issues may be masking. You need a fuller picture. Try to find someone that is not anti-homeschooling. I suggest also reading The Dyslexic Advantage and The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide and Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz for additional information. Keep in mind that some of the information may now be out of date but those three books can give you a lot of information. I have found them invaluable. And you might look at other threads here on the LC board for the process others have gone through.

$50 sounds great to me, too. And yeah gift cards here get shoved in drawers. Cash works well, IMHO.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Regardless of my personal feelings on tiny weddings and big receptions (I honestly don't have an issue with that at all), I absolutely understand your disappointment and your need to vent and get some commiseration. So "there, there, what a silly niece you have". :) And frankly, I do agree with up thread that it is a bit strange to be invited to the rehearsal dinner and the reception but not the wedding. I've never heard of that. (Just keep in mind they may have some very specific reasons for why they are doing what they are doing that they are not at liberty to share with their extended family and have nothing to do with you and your family specifically. :) ).

Yeah, I think both you and Bill overreacted to the OP's title because you do have issues and make assumptions without actually looking into the facts. We all have our hot buttons. I do too. Absolutely. Human nature. The fact that just the title alone made you feel icky before you ever actually read a single post in this thread kind of definitely says this is a hot button for you and you were not reacting based on the facts of this particular thread. It happens. What gets frustrating is when someone then jumps all over the OP without actually bothering to read the OPs posts in detail and accept that their original assumption may not have anything to do with reality. I try to recognize my hot buttons and NOT react until I have more facts. Not always easy but I know that some of my assumptions are based on irrational feelings, not fact, so I try very hard. The other problem is that jumping all over a poster without actually LISTENING to what the poster is saying doesn't open up a dialogue, it shuts it down and makes it contentious. Bill seemed to fail to recognize that on this thread. It then derailed the thread. I read her initial post and realized I needed additional clarification to understand whether her children had had any math instruction, not so I could jump all over her but so I could offer helpful suggestions if possible. She did clarify later on that they do a lot of things with math, they just hadn't started a formal program with books or workbooks or whatever. She is asking for help with resources. She was also expecting more independence for her oldest than what is probably realistic. Lots of people stepped up to the plate and offered great suggestions, in a friendly and constructive manner, which will hopefully be very helpful to her. And then there were the posts by Bill...who made assumptions, failed to acknowledge that his assumptions might not be based in fact, who continually made this thread his personal soap box for his own agenda and was not particularly helpful to the OP. As for Finland, yes there are a lot of people who do not understand the Finnish model. I don't know that OP is really hoping for debate on the Finnish model vs. other types of education, though, so I am not going to address that here. OP, I hope you have found some useful information in this thread. Best wishes.

Yeah, it reminds me of the situation with shingles as well. My elderly grandmother AND my baby brother as a little guy both got shingles. It was horrid. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I agree, thanks for post about the measles vaccine Creekland.

I would consider Foundations in Sound if you suspect any real issues with phonological processing. For some children this is not intuitive and takes systematic specialized exposure. http://www.foundationinsounds.com/

She is logged on right now. No idea if she has posted anything.