Asperger's with anxiety and job interviews

[VaKim]

DD, who is about to turn 19, is trying to get a part time job to help pay for some classes she wants to take. She has only had one interview so far, at McDonald's (where pretty much everybody who applies is hired), but they never called her. She applied at Walmart online yesterday. She has never had a formal diagnosis, but I am positive she has Asperger's, as we have a few relatives and friends who have it and she has all the symptoms. She also has a couple tics, one of which is a sort of all over jerking, when she is nervous or anxious (which is any time she is in an unfamiliar situation or talking to strangers). She actually does very well at overcoming it all and doing what she needs to do, however, people who don't know her or aren't familiar with the condition (which is most people here in hick town), often take her as weird or rude. 

 

I guess what I am looking for is suggestions from anyone with experience on how to get through an interview. I am working with her on stating her strengths and answering the typical questions. It would be great if the interviewer could know up front, but we can't have mommy going in and talking to them or anything. She is an adult and wants to be seen and treated as one. Perhaps there is a way she could inform them up front? Or would that not be a good idea?

[City Mouse]

My DD was diagnosed last year at 21. If it is impacting her ability to get a job, then it would be appropriate to persue a diagnosis.

Once she is diagnosed, she could get job training support including interview skills from you state department of rehabilitation. I have mentioned that to my DD, but she has not gone that direction yet.

 

To be honest, my DD has not gotten a job where she had to go through an interview first. She does not seem to get past the "turn in the application in person" stage.

 

Lucky for us, we live in a small tourist town where seasonal jobs are easy to get. The largest employer hires thousands of young adults each summer and does a pretty good job of working with kids with "quirks" or diagnosis. Three or 4 of the young people in her department this summer had high function autism. If you DD is interested in traveling to a summer job (housing included) I can share more information.

 

It has taken my DD 4 summers at this job (and 2 summers at a different job) to find the department where she fits in best and is happiest. She has finally found something that she thinks could turn in to a full time thing for her.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Does she have any special skills or interests? My Aspie bombed at interviews for retail but he got hired for an IT job and does well. He is less flexible at being able to fit into a job that isn't just the right fit.

 

 

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[VaKim]

My DD was diagnosed last year at 21. If it is impacting her ability to get a job, then it would be appropriate to persue a diagnosis.

Once she is diagnosed, she could get job training support including interview skills from you state department of rehabilitation. I have mentioned that to my DD, but she has not gone that direction yet.

 

To be honest, my DD has not gotten a job where she had to go through an interview first. She does not seem to get past the "turn in the application in person" stage.

 

Lucky for us, we live in a small tourist town where seasonal jobs are easy to get. The largest employer hires thousands of young adults each summer and does a pretty good job of working with kids with "quirks" or diagnosis. Three or 4 of the young people in her department this summer had high function autism. If you DD is interested in traveling to a summer job (housing included) I can share more information.

 

It has taken my DD 4 summers at this job (and 2 summers at a different job) to find the department where she fits in best and is happiest. She has finally found something that she thinks could turn in to a full time thing for her.

DD would definitely not be interested in traveling. She is a homebody for sure. Way to go to your DD!

 

Does she have any special skills or interests? My Aspie bombed at interviews for retail but he got hired for an IT job and does well. He is less flexible at being able to fit into a job that isn't just the right fit.

 

 

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She really is into computer games, and has even created some simple ones. That is something she is interested in taking classes for, but needs some more money, thus the need for the job. I think she could do fine at something that is concrete and repetitive, without the need to make many decisions.

[kroe1]

Practice makes perfect.

[Night Elf]

I took my ds to a counselor who had experience with Aspergers and she worked with him on how to interview.

 

He's got a formal diagnosis of Aspergers and also of motor tic syndrome. He wouldn't go to a neurologist to see about a diagnosis of tourette's, but his psychiatrist put him on a medication for his tics and they went away overnight. But his was all the time, not just when he was nervous.

 

If she doesn't have a formal diagnosis, I can't see how she can talk about it in an interview. She'd have to say something like "I think I may have" and that might not come across as the same as saying 'I definitely have'. 

 

She needs a self confidence boost to give her an air of confidence about her in an interview. An outside career counselor might be able to give her that.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Is she planning on going to college?  Having evals and a diagnosis will be needed for any college accommodations.  My ds' college has a good ASD program plus supports.  Part of the support is classes on things like handling a career and interviews. 

[VaKim]

I honestly don't know where we would even go to be evaluated. We have really sucky doctors around here, unless you need a prescription for an antibiotic or blood pressure meds. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Evaluations are done by a neuro-psychologist. 

[VaKim]

Evaluations are done by a neuro-psychologist. 

Thanks. Looks like the nearest one is about 2.5 hours away. I just assumed you'd need a referral from your family doc or something. 

[Pawz4me]

Many regular psychologists are also perfectly capable (and qualified) of doing psycho-educational evaluations.

[Night Elf]

Check your health insurance too. You might have coverage for an evaluation. 

 

And I don't think you always need a referral to see a mental health provider. Call and ask.

[gardenmom5]

does she take anything for anxiety?  even situational anxiety?

some otc ideas:

gaba

l-theanine

a combination of douglas ashwagandha (higher concentration of withaniloids) and pure encapsulations bacopa monerii (they work in conjunction with each other)  has been a life saver for dudeling's anxiety.  

 

eta:  yoga can be very good long-term for reducing anxiety.  (at least 3x per week)  it can be good for aspie stuff in general.

Edited September 23, 2017 by gardenmom5

[maize]

I took my ds to a counselor who had experience with Aspergers and she worked with him on how to interview.

 

He's got a formal diagnosis of Aspergers and also of motor tic syndrome. He wouldn't go to a neurologist to see about a diagnosis of tourette's, but his psychiatrist put him on a medication for his tics and they went away overnight. But his was all the time, not just when he was nervous.

 

If she doesn't have a formal diagnosis, I can't see how she can talk about it in an interview. She'd have to say something like "I think I may have" and that might not come across as the same as saying 'I definitely have'.

 

She needs a self confidence boost to give her an air of confidence about her in an interview. An outside career counselor might be able to give her that.

May I ask what medication it was that helped with the tics?

[Night Elf]

May I ask what medication it was that helped with the tics?

 

Clonidine HCL 0.3 mg and he takes one a day.

[Riverland]

 

Lucky for us, we live in a small tourist town where seasonal jobs are easy to get. The largest employer hires thousands of young adults each summer and does a pretty good job of working with kids with "quirks" or diagnosis. Three or 4 of the young people in her department this summer had high function autism. If you DD is interested in traveling to a summer job (housing included) I can share more information.

 

It has taken my DD 4 summers at this job (and 2 summers at a different job) to find the department where she fits in best and is happiest. She has finally found something that she thinks could turn in to a full time thing for her.

 

City Mouse, Could you share more about this? I know a young lady with aspergers who would love to have a summer job, and ideally would like it to be away from her parents so she could experience some independence.  Thanks!

[City Mouse]

When my DD got her diagnosis, she went to a psychiatrist to get back on ADHD meds, and the psyc sent her to someone for the evaluation. It was not as through as a neuro-psyc eval that a child might need, but she has never had any academic issues.

[City Mouse]

City Mouse, Could you share more about this? I know a young lady with aspergers who would love to have a summer job, and ideally would like it to be away from her parents so she could experience some independence. Thanks!

I sent you a pm.

[Tiffnkids]

Are the classes she wants to take at a community college or university? If she is an enrolled student, she will probably have access to a lot of resources that could help. Career counseling, mock interview sessions, job fairs, resume reviews, maybe student health center (with access to mental health counseling and referrals for evaluations). If these type of resources would be available to her as a student, would there be any way you could pay or lend her money to take a class or two?

[VaKim]

Are the classes she wants to take at a community college or university? If she is an enrolled student, she will probably have access to a lot of resources that could help. Career counseling, mock interview sessions, job fairs, resume reviews, maybe student health center (with access to mental health counseling and referrals for evaluations). If these type of resources would be available to her as a student, would there be any way you could pay or lend her money to take a class or two?

Just community college. We would gladly completely pay for her classes if we could afford it. We are right on that line where we don't qualify for financial aid but don't make enough to pay for it ourselves. I am trying to get a job too, but after 23 years of not working, and the shortage of jobs in our little town, it is really hard. We live in a tiny place where much of getting a job amounts to who you know. We will work it out somehow though. I just was hoping for some advice in case she actually gets another interview soon.

[DawnM]

My Aspie does well with interviews IF he wants to.  But I honestly think years of therapy and boy scouts have helped tremendously with this. 

 

But agreeing with Jean, he only wants a job in his field, so he will work harder to get those jobs.

 

Is your CC expensive?  If she is 19, could you have her still listed as a high school student (most places allow that until age 21) and have her take classes as a dual enrollment student?  Here dual enrollment is free tuition, we just have to pay fees and books.

 

 

[AngieW in Texas]

My Aspie has really struggled with getting and keeping a job. She has her degree. School was no problem. She did end up talking about her diagnosis with several of her professors, usually after they had to ask her to stop asking so many questions or when they thought that she was being rude. Unfortunately, B's tone sounds snarky and sarcastic, but B isn't capable of sarcasm. People take what she says the wrong way because of the tone with which she says it.

 

She is on her third job since college, all of them have been part-time jobs. The first job was working as an AVID tutor at a local high school. She thought she was doing well there, but they ended up recommending that she work with younger students because she wasn't making connections with the high schoolers (not a surprise there since she has never in her life connected with somebody high school aged). She does really well with 3-8yo kids though. Since AVID didn't have any openings to work with younger kids, they didn't have her come back for the next semester. Then she got a job doing after school daycare. That one actually worked out okay, although she did have to have the conversation with her boss about Asperger's because she needs precise instructions. Vague instructions won't cut it. Whatever assumptions you think will be made based on what you said, those are NEVER the assumptions that B makes. After that conversation, that job went really well, but it ended at the end of the school year. They would have been happy to get her back for this school year, but she found another job over the summer.

 

Now B is actually doing janitorial work. It's physically strenuous, but B likes it. She still stresses out about not being as fast as some of the others. The hours are good (24-32 hours/week); the company is good; the people are great. She still feels like she ought to be disappointed though. She has a college degree and graduated at the top of her class, but this is what she's doing. I'm just glad that she has a good job and I do consider this to be a good job. It isn't as stressful as the daycare job and is much closer and has more hours and better hours. When she initially applied, she was looking for a checker or bagger position, but now she doesn't feel like either of those positions would be good for her. She loves to work with people, but she does much better when it's the same people all the time who know her rather than new people all the time like you deal with in retail. People who know her know that she isn't being sarcastic because she doesn't know how to be, even though her tone often sounds that way. They also know that she doesn't understand sarcasm at all, although she can recognize it sometimes now.

 

 

[VaKim]

My Aspie has really struggled with getting and keeping a job. She has her degree. School was no problem. She did end up talking about her diagnosis with several of her professors, usually after they had to ask her to stop asking so many questions or when they thought that she was being rude. Unfortunately, B's tone sounds snarky and sarcastic, but B isn't capable of sarcasm. People take what she says the wrong way because of the tone with which she says it.

 

She is on her third job since college, all of them have been part-time jobs. The first job was working as an AVID tutor at a local high school. She thought she was doing well there, but they ended up recommending that she work with younger students because she wasn't making connections with the high schoolers (not a surprise there since she has never in her life connected with somebody high school aged). She does really well with 3-8yo kids though. Since AVID didn't have any openings to work with younger kids, they didn't have her come back for the next semester. Then she got a job doing after school daycare. That one actually worked out okay, although she did have to have the conversation with her boss about Asperger's because she needs precise instructions. Vague instructions won't cut it. Whatever assumptions you think will be made based on what you said, those are NEVER the assumptions that B makes. After that conversation, that job went really well, but it ended at the end of the school year. They would have been happy to get her back for this school year, but she found another job over the summer.

 

Now B is actually doing janitorial work. It's physically strenuous, but B likes it. She still stresses out about not being as fast as some of the others. The hours are good (24-32 hours/week); the company is good; the people are great. She still feels like she ought to be disappointed though. She has a college degree and graduated at the top of her class, but this is what she's doing. I'm just glad that she has a good job and I do consider this to be a good job. It isn't as stressful as the daycare job and is much closer and has more hours and better hours. When she initially applied, she was looking for a checker or bagger position, but now she doesn't feel like either of those positions would be good for her. She loves to work with people, but she does much better when it's the same people all the time who know her rather than new people all the time like you deal with in retail. People who know her know that she isn't being sarcastic because she doesn't know how to be, even though her tone often sounds that way. They also know that she doesn't understand sarcasm at all, although she can recognize it sometimes now.

This sounds exactly like my DD!!  She is actually hoping to get a night stocking job, as she is usually up until 4am anyway and sleeps until afternoon. She is very smart and quite a perfectionist, but she definitely needs precise instructions and few decisions to make. 

 

At her last interview, one of the questions was "Tell me about yourself." That pretty much left her blank. I told her next time, to politely ask them to be more specific. One of her problems, though, is that even if she is being polite, it doesn't come across properly. She is no good at small talk, which seems to be something they do a lot of around here during interviews. She is much better with formality.