teachermom2834 Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 I just got an email from the board members of our co-op. They were giving a "heads up" that security would be tight tomorrow. The message said that they had to expel a student and that there was some concern about the student's reaction so there would be tight security tomorrow ( everyone has to enter through the main entrance, teenagers who are normally allowed outside during breaks must stay in, etc.) I don't know what to think. I am generally impressed with our co-op leaders and would trust their decision making. We only have one day left so I don't imagine a student would have been expelled for something minor. I have to think if they thought there was a very serious threat they would not even hold classes. My first thought is that it is probably nothing and they are just being extra vigilant. That I shouldn't worry. If this student was a problem it is probably safer there now that he has been expelled than it was last week. I am not one to be overly fearful. But, what if something terrible did happen? What if I had a "heads up" and went anyways? Opinions? Thanks, Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 While I think it's probably true that the co-op board is just being extra cautious, I also probably wouldn't be going or taking my dc. If there were celebrations of the last day that my dc would be missing, I'd make a point of doing a special alternate activity. Ice cream, or a movie, or a picnic in the park with special friends, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandalwood Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 I don't know what I would do honestly. My fist thought is if this child is that prone to react, why would they not contact the parents ahead of time and suspend the child before classes tomorrow? I just don't know what I'd do. We belong to a weekly co-op and if I got this email, I'd probably keep my son home, but he is only 11. How old is your child/children that will be up there? The email is probably more scary than the real situation will be, but if this child has has exhibited behavior that is perhaps dangerous to other children and they are worried about that, seems like the co-op is not the right place to handle the suspension. I'm assuming (maybe wrongly so) the child in problem is a teen maybe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I would contact leadership for more information. If they couldn't ease my mind, I would not go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I would contact leadership for more information. If they couldn't ease my mind, I would not go. :iagree: It's really somewhat odd that they sent the email in the first place. I could understand respecting the family's privacy by saying nothing to the group, but to email parents with what can best be described as a suspected veiled threat from the student seems to require more of an explanation. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 I believe that the student has already been expelled and they are concerned about how he reacted to that information and that he might retaliate in some way. I don't understand it to mean that they will just be informing him of this tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I would probably go...but then again, I know my co-op leadership well and trust them completely. I would imagine if they didn't think it was safe they wouldn't be bringing their own kids. They're probably just taking extra precautions so as not to upset any kids if this family shows up and reacts badly to not being allowed in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 We wont be going. I'd be surprised if anything really happened but I just can't get comfortable with it. I don't know any board members well but a friend of mine does and the bits of information she got made me more concerned, not less. I also would like to spare my kids the drama that will be today with kids talking about it in the lunch room, etc. You know how kids can talk and I really don't even want them to have that experience. One of them had something really special planned in one of his classes that dh had taken off of work to attend. I was able to email a report one dc was supposed to give to another teacher. I feel bad that they have to miss but I explained it to the oldest ones and they understand. They just want dh to rent a movie to watch with them this afternoon. Thanks, Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 It's really somewhat odd that they sent the email in the first place. I could understand respecting the family's privacy by saying nothing to the group, but to email parents with what can best be described as a suspected veiled threat from the student seems to require more of an explanation. Ria :iagree: with Ria. If I had gotten that email, I would have immediately emailed back asking for more information so I can make an informed decision. If something were to happen, they could easily say it wasn't their fault because they warned people. But what they've said is just way too vague to be any real warning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 better to be safe than sorry sounds good here. It really is about what you feel in your heart. If you don't have a peace about it, I love the idea of an alternate activity. Hope you have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 One of them had something really special planned in one of his classes that dh had taken off of work to attend. I was able to email a report one dc was supposed to give to another teacher. I feel bad that they have to miss but I explained it to the oldest ones and they understand. They just want dh to rent a movie to watch with them this afternoon. Thanks, Marie Obviously when we hear something like this we all immediately start thinking about Columbine and the other horrific events, and I'm definitely one to "better safe than sorry" about things like this, but it sounds like the board is just being prudent and cautious. I'd probably call and ask them to explain more clearly why they felt this necessary....was it because this child made actual threats of violence or just because they were angry that they were removed. The fact that they were removed with only 1 class left would definitely concern me, but if they truly felt that there would be the potential for this student to bring weapons to avenge himself or other acts of violence were threatened, I would hope they'd either be cancelling class, or hiring a police officer with a weapon himself. The fact that the provisions they've made are more to keep the entry points to a minimum and keep children a little closer reigned, sounds more like they worry about a distruption not violence. Of course, I'd want to talk to them about it but that's my first impression. If it's a matter of they just worry that the child will try to be disruptive I think I'd feel a little more comfortable about my children being there knowing that your DH would also be there. Perhaps you could go into class with the other child as well? If there is a hint of potential violence though, I'd probably skip it even if it means disappointing my child. If they're old enough I'd explain why their safety is so much more important to me even though the event is important to them. And then, since dad already has the day off, I'd find something really special to do to show them you're sorry they're disappointed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 We wont be going. I'd be surprised if anything really happened but I just can't get comfortable with it. I don't know any board members well but a friend of mine does and the bits of information she got made me more concerned, not less. I think you made the right decision, Marie. It's such a shame that one kid was able to be such a disruption to what should have been a fun day. I wonder what he said he would do, and what made the board members feel that it was a significant threat. How old is this boy? I would have kept my kids home, too, and just made it a fun family day, as you're planning to do. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 I heard more details through the grapevine that did increase my level of discomfort. There is more and I don't want to discuss it here (on the chance that there are others here that go to this co-op I don't want to spread rumors). This seems like a very troubled kid in the least. I doubt that anything really would happen but there are enough warning signs for me to just keep them home. I would be worried all day. If I just had the 2 dc, dh would have just stayed with one and I would have stayed with the other and I would have been comfortable with that. But, we have 3 dc in classes throughout the building and I have a toddler I couldn't haul around there all day. I feel for the board members that were put in this position. Reportedly, they were trying to arrange for an undercover police officer but weren't sure if they could get it. The level of concern from the board seems real. Not enough to cancel a whole day of classes but they are conveying some genuine concern. Not panic, just caution. Thanks for everyone's input. It caught me off guard last night and I needed to bounce it around in my head a bit. I didn't have much time to make a decision and track down much information so I just played it safe. Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 II feel for the board members that were put in this position. Reportedly, they were trying to arrange for an undercover police officer but weren't sure if they could get it. Wow, Marie, this must have been pretty serious. I absolutely wouldn't have gone, either. What a shame for the whole co-op, though. I hope the boy gets the help he so obviously needs. Cat PS. I also hope the fears were unfounded and that everyone who attended today was safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 As a board member of a co-op (obviously not the OP's co-op), we have had a similar situation, where a troubled member was suspended during the last week of the year due to fighting with another kid, then damaging the host church when he was punished (by his mother, and not harshly). The timing was unfortunate, to say the least. The family handled it well, sent out an apology to the rest of the members, paid restitution immediately for the damage to be repaired, addressed the outburst with their therapist, etc. We have, however, had "heightened security" after asking an adult member not to return because of really offensive behaviour. That mainly consisted of having a couple of the dads in attendance, stationed by the front door in the event that this person decided to show up anyway and make a scene. That was totally "drama control" and not concern for life and limb, though. Without knowing the details of your situation, I guess I couldn't say what I would do. Is your location walkable - i.e. could he just show up? - or are the parents not understanding why the expulsion occurred? Those would be red flags, particularly if there were threats made. It sounds like you've made a decision, anyway. I'm sorry for your kids, though. Even if they understand, it's such a bummer. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 (edited) One of two things. Either stay home or go with them locked and loaded. Nevermind, I see you aren't going. Edited May 7, 2009 by Remudamom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I heard more details through the grapevine that did increase my level of discomfort. There is more and I don't want to discuss it here (on the chance that there are others here that go to this co-op I don't want to spread rumors). This seems like a very troubled kid in the least. I doubt that anything really would happen but there are enough warning signs for me to just keep them home. I would be worried all day. If I just had the 2 dc, dh would have just stayed with one and I would have stayed with the other and I would have been comfortable with that. But, we have 3 dc in classes throughout the building and I have a toddler I couldn't haul around there all day. I feel for the board members that were put in this position. Reportedly, they were trying to arrange for an undercover police officer but weren't sure if they could get it. The level of concern from the board seems real. Not enough to cancel a whole day of classes but they are conveying some genuine concern. Not panic, just caution. Thanks for everyone's input. It caught me off guard last night and I needed to bounce it around in my head a bit. I didn't have much time to make a decision and track down much information so I just played it safe. Marie Ok, if they were trying to arrange for a police officer, that would have been enough for me to say no. We have twice had schools in our area go to lockdown because of a student with a weapon. The first time it was a real gun and the boy had voiced his hatred of many people in the past; the second time it was about a year later and the boy thought bringing a toy gun in would be "funny". Things like this have only confirmed that I made the right decision to forego a career I enjoyed, and the monetary comforts it would have brought all these years, to stay home and care for and then to formally homeschool them. I still remember watching the news reports that first time and although I had no children that went to this school, and don't think I even knew any as it was across town.....I still sat crying and shaking at the thought of what could have happened. When Columbine happened my eldest was still a toddler, but I was physically and emotionally ill over the thought of losing a child somewhere that we once thought they were always so safe. I knew already that I planned to homeschool when the time came, but I still feel like that was the point where it was no longer "probably going to homeschool" and became "I will be homeschooling". And I constantly tell my kids that when they marry they have to be sure to live nearby as I want to homeschool all my grandchildren. Since all my kids have expressed an interest in a career (as opposed to a job) I want them to have that opportunity, but I also want grandkids! So far they all love the idea. Gran's Schoolhouse we call it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 :iagree: It's really somewhat odd that they sent the email in the first place. I could understand respecting the family's privacy by saying nothing to the group, but to email parents with what can best be described as a suspected veiled threat from the student seems to require more of an explanation. Ria I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamato4girls Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Yikes, I wouldn't know what to think either. I also probably wouldn't go. Unless there is some big party, and maybe you (and other parents) can stay. Otherwise I agree with the pp and would just skip class and do a get together at another time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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