Aargh! What to do with my bright, distractible 6 yo ds?

[ELaurie]

6 yo ds is bright, creative, and curious. He cannot sit still. He's easily bored. I'm at my wit's end (at least at the moment:glare: )

 

I'm struggling with what to do with him in a number of ways.

 

1) We're working on some basic discipline issues. I know this is part of the problem. We have a plan in place, and I think we are making some gradual progress.

 

2) Like a lot of precocious kids, he hates to do boring stuff. Honestly, I don't give him a lot of boring work to do. He writes three sentences a week from WWE 1, and does a page of math facts 4 days a week. We don't do spelling every day, and when we do, I vary the work by using letter tiles and the white board (he's in AAS 2, and because he's "ahead" in spelling, I'm taking it slowly this year). I don't require all of the writing assignments in FLL 1. He's reading relatively well; he prefers reading library books to the lessons in TOPG, so I don't require him to read all of the stories in TOPG, although I do go over the lessons with him.

 

The work isn't too difficult for him, and I don't think I require too much for a wriggly, squiggly 1st grade ds.

 

He participates in SOTW 3 with ds 9, in RS4K (when we get to it), Bible, Latin, Hebrew, art, music, poetry, and family read alouds.

 

BUT . . .

 

I'm exasperated with the amount of time it takes for him to do his written work. I do use a timer with him, which helps, although I haven't done this consistently, so that might be one thing I need to change. Sometimes, I offer small treats and incentives as they are working (since I like chocolate chips and gold fish crackers too :tongue_smilie:). Sometimes I engage him playfully (he especially likes it when I pretend to be a "wicked queen" and tell him not to do his work, an idea I got from Mrs. Piggle Wiggle). I also try to give them breaks during the day to run around the house, or jump on the trampoline which helps with the wriggles.

 

He also has some visual processing issues, which likely contribute to his frustration with the written work. He's part way through a vision therapy program, so I hope this will eventually help.

 

 

Part of what I'm feeling so exasperated about today is that it's finally 60 degrees in Chicago. It's probably too good to last, but we've waited all winter for a day like today. I would like to go to the park; he would like to go to the park. It would be great for us to do something fun together.

 

Of course, he hasn't done most of his school work for the day.

 

:banghead: I'm also frustrated because:

 

3) I feel like we spend our school days struggling to get through the three R's and as a result, I have a very bright little boy who hates school. I have a lot of great ideas about how to engage him and stimulate his curiosity, but we never get to most of them because it takes forever to cover the basics (I am also working 1:1 with ds 9 a good part of the time because he has visual processing issues as well, and isn't doing very much of his work independently yet, although he is making great progress with this.)

 

4)I also feel like my relationship with ds 6 is more negative than I want it to be.

 

I am open to hearing suggestions :bigear:

[SunshineMom]

Upon reading your post, my only thought is to ask him what he wants to study? Get him to give you a list of topics(write it yourself), go to the library and get as many books as he wants on those topics. Look through them, read them and draw pictures from them. Pick out some vocabulary words, make out some simple vocabulary sentences for him to copy. Look for spelling words from the books if possible or just make up your own list from his interest topics (teach related phonics if needed). Maybe a "break" from the same old "school stuff" may inspire his curiousity again. I discuss with my girls what they would like to study often and I'm surprised that many of the things they mention where topics I was planning to do with them already. Some topics are "way out there" but get my "teacher" creative juices going such as how does a lightbulb "hold" electricity? Or how do butterflies learn to fly? They still have to do math, spelling and what not but doing "fun school stuff" always keeps school time more fun.

[LizzyBee]

Here are some suggestions from our EdPsych and OT:

 

1. Sit on a kid-sized exercise ball.

2. Sit on a cushion that you put on the chair (it's plastic, textured, and filled with air so it allows small movements).

3. Chew gum.

4. Hold putty or some other fidget toy in the non-writing hand.

5. Stand while writing.

6. Wrap exercise bands around the legs of the chair your ds is sitting in. When he swings his legs, he'll hit the band and it gives him sensory feedback.

7. Frequent movement breaks.

8. Use a timer. ("If you work hard for 10 minutes, then you can have a break.")

9. Play classical/instrumental music.

10. Physical work, such as helping to carry groceries in.

11. Since you mentioned the warmer weather, go for a 10 minute walk before you start school. There is something about fresh air that helps some kids focus better.

 

I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can think of at the moment. Each item will work for about 10-15 minutes, so you have to alternate the various techniques. You can see the balls and cushions at http://www.therapyshoppe.com

Edited March 16, 2009 by LizzyBee

[Kguleff]

I have one 6 year old boy with lots of focus but shcool can be a bore to him too. He loves Real Science 4 kids, the whole hands on stuff is very entertaining. Also we have read some phonics comics (don't cringe) and now are making comic books. Not that we don't do the RRR but sometimes just to keep him challenged we have to do his interests. He also wants to control his day so I can let him choose what happens first read, then write then math then SCIENCE. I always keep the reward last. He loves poetry and we copy and make our own books. Also check out Bridges from Kaleidoscope kids they have a great series of hands on stuff- I hope to get another book from them soon.

[kalanamak]

Here are some suggestions from our EdPsych and OT:

 

 

2. Sit on a cushion that you put on the chair (it's plastic, textured, and filled with air so it allows small movements).

3. Chew gum.

4. Hold putty or some other fidget toy in the non-writing hand.

5. Stand while writing.

 

11. Since you mentioned the warmer weather, go for a 10 minute walk before you start school. There is something about fresh air that helps some kids focus better.

 

 

I have used these, but for number 11, it is 3-6 hours of romping on the beach, hiking, biking, swimming, yard work or any combination of the above with daddy before I start school work. Now we can do an hour of sit down on Saturday and Sunday morning, but perhaps only because kiddo knows he'll be out the starter's gate the moment the pencil hits the desk tray. 10 minutes would be the pre-warmup!

 

I have also found that when I read aloud to him he can be playing mightily, running about the room, etc. and still know the content perfectly. Even dictating chapter summaries to me can be done well with him on his knees moving his Brio train around.

[jenL]

Thank you SO much for this post! I wish I had something to offer, but I'm struggling with this myself for my almost 6yo son -- who sounds JUST like your son! I'm new to homeschooling (this is our 1st year), and I finally came out of lurking to really become involved. I'm very interested in hearing all the responses!

 

I wish you much luck! Maybe we could commiserate together! :o

[Penelope]

I don't have advice per se but I can understand a little, though I'm only schooling one right now so this is FWIW.

 

First, I'd say --- it's okay to go to the park. He's 6. I'm saying it because I need to remind myself of it lately, when the weather is beautiful and we're all staring out the windows but in my mind I'm thinking about what we still didn't do. But I know that I will look back and regret not taking enough fun days when we could, because this is one ofthe reaons I began hsing in the first place.

 

I'd second the exercise ball. That helps my wiggly 6 yo a lot.

The other thing that is a must is keeping him separated from his younger brother, and keeping his work area BORING. Nothing on the table except the pages he is supposed to be working on. I have tried letting him fidget with something, but this makes it worse because he gets distracted by whatever the thing is!

 

I've tried the timer too, with some success. He likes to beat the timer-- I give him considerably more time than I think he needs.

 

But whether I set a timer or use my watch, I have a general idea of how long a certain lesson should take and then, even if he isn't finished--that subject is over with, and we move on. He did not like this at first, but I decided that with younger children who also need me, I need school time to be done in a reasonable period of time; I can't be at his beck and call all day long for moving on to the next subject, and it was hard on him, too. If it is math that he is trying and just isn't getting, we might save it for the next day, but in all other cases (dawdling!) it is kept until later to be done in the evening (instead of playtime) or for Saturday school. It's working. It isn't punishment, it is just our routine, and we are both happier (and I have only had to institute "Saturday school" one time, lol.

 

With the short lesson times adhered to, I don't have to do the 3R's first anymore. This was big around here. Now once or twice a week, we start with our history, science, or art. This has seemed to help a lot with attitudes.

 

 

Edited to say-- this is what's working well for us now, but ds is closer to 7 than 6. I don't think this would have worked well for him a year ago, maybe even 6 months ago. Good luck!

Edited March 16, 2009 by Penelope

[Reya]

As I'm reading this, DS is spinning around in his chair on his knees in the middle of grammar, making incomprehensible noises.

 

Now he's standing on his chair.

 

Now he's standing and writing.

 

And he's actually ON TASK. Which he hasn't been for 3.5 of the last 4.5 hours. (And the 1 hr he was on task, it was reading a history book that distracted him from his math assignment.)

 

As best as I can tell, the easier the assignment, the dumber and more off task DS gets.

 

He's actually finished 2 pages of grammar while I've been writing this. Now he's shuffling from side to side and wiggling his backside. Now he's stomping. But he's reading his work and getting it done very quickly, so who am I to complain? Whoops. Started swordfighting with the air with his pencil when he discovered that he already knew what statements were. Had to redirect. And, YES, I am writing this in real time. He's writing busily now, but his feet are climbing up the baseboard radiator and onto the wall. He finished one sentence and had to howl. Yes, howl. And now he's fiddling with his hands and making noises AND drumming his feet....and now talking to himself as he writes again.

 

He gets 3 hours of play in the middle of school. That helps some. Keeping him challenged helps more. I swear there's a part of his brain he turns off when sometihng's not hard enough. *shakes head* If he keeps this up, it's Singapore NEM 1 for him tomorrow.

 

And now he's beating his head and making noises, which turned into a growl. And now he stood on his chair to ask me a question about how to form a capital J. And now he's writing again.

 

Just know you're not alone. My CAPD/ADD/dyslexic kiddo is sometimes just about enoguh to kill me!

 

EDIT: This is a really bad day for us. I COULD make him not wiggle--but then he'd get nothing done. Today, if he had to stand on his head, he can stand on his head.

Edited March 16, 2009 by Reya

[FO4UR]

Start with 5min and work up from there. Choose a time, and stick to it - everyday at this time ds6 does his seatwork - PERIOD! Scale back if you have to for a time so he can get through it w/o the chocolate chips and goldfish (I'll take those though:tongue_smilie:).

 

I've got a 6yo wiggly willy too. We wake up, eat breakfast, dress/brush teeth, read Bible, and do penmaship/spelling. PERIOD! I kept math all hands-on and spontaneous for a long while.

[ELaurie]

Your suggestions are both helpful and reassuring.

 

I really do want to love him as he is, while gently (and sometimes firmly :tongue_smilie:) training him up in the way he should go.

 

Argh!

 

. . . and to enjoy the journey, while maintaining my sanity

 

and perhaps even some semblance of order . . .

[Emilylou]

This is my DS too... I finally realized that he can listen and do his math and writing work. And he loves stories, so I just read and read lots of different stories and he gets all of his seat work done and doesn't complain at all.

(I supplement with Ambleside Online Year 1, my DS begs for these books)

 

Hang in there~

 

I have also found that when I read aloud to him he can be playing mightily, running about the room, etc. and still know the content perfectly. Even dictating chapter summaries to me can be done well with him on his knees moving his Brio train around.

[...................]

I had the same problems with my 6 year old. I would get so frustrated, and remind, and remind and remind and stand over him and get him back to the table, etc. etc.

 

The first thing I notice is that your school day seems like it might be long with all those extra subjects Ie Hebrew, Latin, Art...

 

I would leave him out of some of that and let him play in the backyard. Choose whichever is least important to you...maybe Latin and Art. Tell him about this change.

 

The next thing I did for my son was that I took the responsibility off of MY plate and put it on HIS plate, and it is amazing to see him STEP up to the plate!! Maybe he is just a hardworking young man, but we went from spending 3-4 hours doing a few lessons to being done school with no nagging from me in a matter of an hour.

 

What I do with him now is this:

 

I have a School Meeting. During our School Meeting I go over any new concepts, do flashcards for ALL subjects, and check on some of the work from the previous day that we might need to go over together.

 

THEN I write down a checklist for my ds. It ended up changing day by day so at first I had a computer printed one, now I write it by hand every day. It has the subject, and a box next to it. Then I hand it to my ds and WALK AWAY. I remind him every day that I will not remind him or nag him to do his work.

 

Then at exactly 3pm I head out the door with my dd. If his work is completed, he may go outside and play. If he has skipped problems or not completed his work he stays in to finish it.

 

I have only had to leave him inside about 3 times in the past 5 months since I started this. And it works. Every day we have our School Meeting at 10. From 11-3 (with a break for lunch) I go about my business and he choosen when to do his work. He usually does it pretty much right away and finishes it all before 2. We also break for a 40 minute silent reading time after lunch and he is required to sit and rest and read. Then he chooses when to go back to his seatwork.

 

Now, if you find that your ds has tons of mistakes you just mark them wrong in red, while he is playing outside and that is added to his work for the next day. If he misses it twice in a row maybe he really doesn't get it and then you add it to your School Meeting.

 

I got this method from the book, "Managers of Their Schools" by Teri Maxwell which I also highly recommend. Her method has relieved the nagging, tension and frustration. My son knows that is is now his responsibility and He will have consequences of his own choosing.

[Rosie_0801]

Math on the Level, or their approach anyway, might help once you get the hang of combining them. Two birds with one stone...

 

Rosie

[LizzyBee]

I have used these, but for number 11, it is 3-6 hours of romping on the beach, hiking, biking, swimming, yard work or any combination of the above with daddy before I start school work. Now we can do an hour of sit down on Saturday and Sunday morning, but perhaps only because kiddo knows he'll be out the starter's gate the moment the pencil hits the desk tray. 10 minutes would be the pre-warmup!

 

I was thinking of 10 minutes as a minimum. More is definitely better!!

[Spy Car]

ELaurie, there have been a number of recent studies that show that we boys not only tend to move about when we are learning, but that we seem to "need" some movement for thought to sink in.

 

Now, I'll grant you can probably find studies to "prove" all sorts of fanciful notions, but most of us with boys (me included) can see they fidget around in a way that girls usually don't.

 

I'm sure you will get plenty of practical advice in this thread, like providing breaks to run around, but it may help you to understand the male gender of our species does seem to come with this "kinetic" trait and to use this understanding to your advantage.

 

Bill

[3and3]

My oldest was like this!! He is now 17yo and still has lots of energy!! It sounds like to me you are doing everything right. :iagree:My suggestions are a little different. If it is a beautiful day outside take him out!! Call it nature study for the day. Relax and enjoy. It sounds like he is above level so why not miss a day of inside school work. Also another wise homeschool mom once told me if my child was having a hard time with a certain concept put it away for awhile (month or 2) then come back to it. It is sometimes easier for them when they are older and you won't get frustrated trying to teach them something they just can not understand. At 6 I would worry about character development and simple obedience. If you can get to read and write by the time he is 8yo you have done your job!!:001_smile: Also, remember he will not be 6 forever and he will grow out of it. Enjoy 6 while you can before you know it he will be 17 like mine!!:mellow:

 

Hope that helps

 

Jenny M

 

ds twins 1yo (today):party:

dds 6yo, 7yo

dss 4yo, 17yo

[Penelope]

Along these lines....How on earth then do schools deal with this? I know it has been a long time since I have been in elementary school, but I don't recall being given many breaks. Even here, the kids are in school starting in Kindergarten for almost 7 hours per day. How do they do it if it is well known that boys are human ping pong balls?

 

I don't know, but I do remember a few boys in my first and second grade classes who were always in "trouble", two boys in particular. When I was thinking about schools a few years ago, I knew I had a little bundle of energy and that is one of the many reasons I decided to keep him at home. :)

 

I believe first grade still does have time spent on the floor and in centers in many schools; it is not 7 hours at a desk. But still...

[LaurieinCA]

I have two boys, 9 and 11. When my oldest was 6, he was just like your ds, bright, easily distracted... I felt like pulling my hair out. It was such a struggle! Each week I questioned whether I could do this for another week... I felt like a witch rather than a mom or teacher... I found that exercise helped A LOT. I would send them outside right after breakfast, along with the dogs (they needed it, too!), for 30 minutes while I cleaned up and got the materials ready for the day. When they came in tired, it was much easier to get them to sit down and concentrate.

[elise1mds]

Along these lines....How on earth then do schools deal with this? I know it has been a long time since I have been in elementary school, but I don't recall being given many breaks. Even here, the kids are in school starting in Kindergarten for almost 7 hours per day. How do they do it if it is well known that boys are human ping pong balls?

 

In my experience, they don't. From what I have seen (and mind you, this is just with my children, so this is not a blanket statement meant to irritate anyone), they often hold them back or label them. My son is a concoction of ADHD, auditory processing issues, anxiety, and a bit of Asperger's/OCD thrown in there for good measure. We medicate just to get through the day alive, though that was not my goal when he was first diagnosed. When he started kindergarten this year, there were four boys in the class - yes, just FOUR in a class of 16. One has been sent back to preschool to repeat another year there; the other two, who are twins, are going to repeat kindergarten next year. My son is the 'good' one, and even so, the teacher is constantly updating me on his fidgeting, noises, playground behavior, etc. They didn't want to put him into first-grade reading until I pushed because they were afraid that the first-grade boys, labeled 'rambunctious,' would be too much of a distraction for him. If I wasn't going to pull him out and homeschool this fall because the school isn't challenging him enough, he'd be the only boy left in that class. As it is, it'll be interesting to see how the first-grade teacher enjoys a classfull of girls!

 

I'm so glad to find this thread, because I imagine I will be fighting the same battle this fall. GOOD LUCK! :)

[LizzyBee]

In my experience, they don't.

 

My middle dd was not even hyperactive or wiggly, just distractible and confused because of her auditory processing and organizational issues; and her kindergarten year was still a constant battle with her teacher. She missed recess and sat in the time out chair constantly, which was actually counterproductive. That's why we became homeschoolers. I literally felt sick every time I thought about sending her back to school.

[LizzyBee]

ELaurie, there have been a number of recent studies that show that we boys not only tend to move about when we are learning, but that we seem to "need" some movement for thought to sink in.

 

Now, I'll grant you can probably find studies to "prove" all sorts of fanciful notions, but most of us with boys (me included) can see they fidget around in a way that girls usually don't.

 

I'm sure you will get plenty of practical advice in this thread, like providing breaks to run around, but it may help you to understand the male gender of our species does seem to come with this "kinetic" trait and to use this understanding to your advantage.

 

Bill

 

My ADHD kid is a girl, not a boy, but I totally agree that some kids have to move in order to learn. My goal is to keep dd calm enough to focus and to replace her big movements with small movements when she's doing tasks that require her to stay in one place. I don't try to make her be still.

[Spy Car]

Along these lines....How on earth then do schools deal with this? I know it has been a long time since I have been in elementary school, but I don't recall being given many breaks. Even here, the kids are in school starting in Kindergarten for almost 7 hours per day. How do they do it if it is well known that boys are human ping pong balls?

 

I've seen some teachers get punitive, however, I've been pleasantly surprised to sit in on classes and see the ways experienced teachers deal with this sort of thing.

 

Maybe getting the students out of their desks to do a lesson on the floor. Adding "kinetic" activities to art or math. Breaking up time, And patiently building up boys abilities to "sit" and concentrate. I know it's popular to bash schools here, but sometimes children will preform better for adults other than parents when there are high expectations, and the approach is a positive one.

 

The students in our local elementary schools (boys included) are astonishingly well behaved in class.

 

Bill

[Annie Laurie]

Along these lines....How on earth then do schools deal with this? I know it has been a long time since I have been in elementary school, but I don't recall being given many breaks. Even here, the kids are in school starting in Kindergarten for almost 7 hours per day. How do they do it if it is well known that boys are human ping pong balls?

 

They don't deal with it. When my oldest was in PS, he was one of these wiggly little boys and was always in trouble. Often his punishment was having to stay in on recess. Now doesn't that make sense? Punish a little boy for being wiggly by denying him exercise so he can get the wiggles out.

[Spy Car]

My ADHD kid is a girl, not a boy, but I totally agree that some kids have to move in order to learn. My goal is to keep dd calm enough to focus and to replace her big movements with small movements when she's doing tasks that require her to stay in one place. I don't try to make her be still.

 

My son is not ADD or ADHD (although my wife once feared that might be the case) but he does run toward the fidgety side of the spectrum.

 

I've written in other thread about the eclectic math mix I've been doing with him, heavy on critical thinking and new ways of presenting concepts so things are as "fresh" as possible, and at least for him there is a side-benefit (which I understood almost subconsciously, but this thread make me understand more clearly) is that during these times when he's challenged to really think that he seems to become dead-calm and focused. Like a different person almost.

 

I think there is something about stimulating mental exercises that can lead to increased concentration, and a calming of the para-sympathetic nervous system, and these can set up a spiral of reinforcing calm. The trick is finding the thing that captures the initial interest, and how to keep that fed.

 

Bill

[bethben]

My son literally spun around in circles to learn how to skip count. He would be saying, "3,6,9,12..." while getting himself all dizzy. It worked amazingly well. Sometimes I can tell when he's going to go nuts on me and then I try to stop the lesson pronto. I tell him to run around or do jumping jacks. My friend with 2 boys would have them jog around the house in the middle of school lessons. I'm sure that made the neighbors wonder about what those radical homeschoolers were doing.

 

Age and maturity have helped a ton in the wiggles. He's 8 1/2 now and only drops his pencil 1-2 times per school day instead of every 5 minutes.

 

Beth

[ELaurie]

Upon reading your post, my only thought is to ask him what he wants to study?

 

Thanks :)

[ELaurie]

Here are some suggestions from our EdPsych and OT:

 

1. Sit on a kid-sized exercise ball.

2. Sit on a cushion that you put on the chair (it's plastic, textured, and filled with air so it allows small movements).

3. Chew gum.

4. Hold putty or some other fidget toy in the non-writing hand.

5. Stand while writing.

6. Wrap exercise bands around the legs of the chair your ds is sitting in. When he swings his legs, he'll hit the band and it gives him sensory feedback.

7. Frequent movement breaks.

8. Use a timer. ("If you work hard for 10 minutes, then you can have a break.")

9. Play classical/instrumental music.

10. Physical work, such as helping to carry groceries in.

11. Since you mentioned the warmer weather, go for a 10 minute walk before you start school. There is something about fresh air that helps some kids focus better.

 

 

 

I've wondered about whether an exercise ball would be a helpful addition, but I hadn't considered some of the other ideas.

 

He's also sensitive to tastes, textures, tags in his clothing, so perhaps there are sensory issues in addition to the visual processing issues that I need to assess more carefully as well.

[ELaurie]

ELaurie, there have been a number of recent studies that show that we boys not only tend to move about when we are learning, but that we seem to "need" some movement for thought to sink in.

 

Bill

 

If you are aware of specific studies in this regard, I'm all :bigear:

 

I'd love to learn more about this!

 

PS. On an unrelated note, in conjunction with all of the other things you arr doing to keep math "fresh" for your dc, I'd encourage you to checkout he link to Professor B Math in my signature line. It's unlike anything else I've seen, and my dc are both thriving in mathematics. I remember ds 9 literally swinging from an indoor basketball hoop in our family room while reciting his math facts when he was 6. Ahh . . . boys :tongue_smilie:

[ELaurie]

My son literally spun around in circles to learn how to skip count. He would be saying, "3,6,9,12..." while getting himself all dizzy. It worked amazingly well. Age and maturity have helped a ton in the wiggles. He's 8 1/2 now and only drops his pencil 1-2 times per school day instead of every 5 minutes.

 

Beth

 

Your ds sounds a lot like ds 6!

 

And to put things in perspective, ds 9 is much more focused now than he was just a couple of years ago. Thanks for the reminder :001_smile:

[ELaurie]

My oldest was like this!! He is now 17yo and still has lots of energy!! It sounds like to me you are doing everything right. :iagree:My suggestions are a little different. If it is a beautiful day outside take him out!! Call it nature study for the day. Relax and enjoy. It sounds like he is above level so why not miss a day of inside school work. At 6 I would worry about character development and simple obedience. If you can get to read and write by the time he is 8yo you have done your job!!:001_smile: Also, remember he will not be 6 forever and he will grow out of it. Enjoy 6 while you can before you know it he will be 17 like mine!!:mellow:

 

Hope that helps

 

Jenny M

 

 

 

ds twins 1yo (today):party:

dds 6yo, 7yo

dss 4yo, 17yo

 

These are very good reminders :)

[ELaurie]

I don't have advice per se but I can understand a little, though I'm only schooling one right now so this is FWIW.

 

First, I'd say --- it's okay to go to the park. He's 6. I'm saying it because I need to remind myself of it lately, when the weather is beautiful and we're all staring out the windows but in my mind I'm thinking about what we still didn't do. But I know that I will look back and regret not taking enough fun days when we could, because this is one ofthe reaons I began hsing in the first place.

 

I'd second the exercise ball. That helps my wiggly 6 yo a lot.

The other thing that is a must is keeping him separated from his younger brother, and keeping his work area BORING. Nothing on the table except the pages he is supposed to be working on. I have tried letting him fidget with something, but this makes it worse because he gets distracted by whatever the thing is!

 

I've tried the timer too, with some success. He likes to beat the timer-- I give him considerably more time than I think he needs.

 

But whether I set a timer or use my watch, I have a general idea of how long a certain lesson should take and then, even if he isn't finished--that subject is over with, and we move on. He did not like this at first, but I decided that with younger children who also need me, I need school time to be done in a reasonable period of time; I can't be at his beck and call all day long for moving on to the next subject, and it was hard on him, too. If it is math that he is trying and just isn't getting, we might save it for the next day, but in all other cases (dawdling!) it is kept until later to be done in the evening (instead of playtime) or for Saturday school. It's working. It isn't punishment, it is just our routine, and we are both happier (and I have only had to institute "Saturday school" one time, lol.

 

With the short lesson times adhered to, I don't have to do the 3R's first anymore. This was big around here. Now once or twice a week, we start with our history, science, or art. This has seemed to help a lot with attitudes.

 

 

Edited to say-- this is what's working well for us now, but ds is closer to 7 than 6. I don't think this would have worked well for him a year ago, maybe even 6 months ago. Good luck!

 

Thank you. I will refer to this thread again and again :001_smile:

[ELaurie]

As I'm reading this, DS is spinning around in his chair on his knees in the middle of grammar, making incomprehensible noises.

 

Now he's standing on his chair.

 

Now he's standing and writing.

 

And he's actually ON TASK. Which he hasn't been for 3.5 of the last 4.5 hours. (And the 1 hr he was on task, it was reading a history book that distracted him from his math assignment.)

 

As best as I can tell, the easier the assignment, the dumber and more off task DS gets.

 

He's actually finished 2 pages of grammar while I've been writing this. Now he's shuffling from side to side and wiggling his backside. Now he's stomping. But he's reading his work and getting it done very quickly, so who am I to complain? Whoops. Started swordfighting with the air with his pencil when he discovered that he already knew what statements were. Had to redirect. And, YES, I am writing this in real time. He's writing busily now, but his feet are climbing up the baseboard radiator and onto the wall. He finished one sentence and had to howl. Yes, howl. And now he's fiddling with his hands and making noises AND drumming his feet....and now talking to himself as he writes again.

 

He gets 3 hours of play in the middle of school. That helps some. Keeping him challenged helps more. I swear there's a part of his brain he turns off when sometihng's not hard enough. *shakes head* If he keeps this up, it's Singapore NEM 1 for him tomorrow.

 

And now he's beating his head and making noises, which turned into a growl. And now he stood on his chair to ask me a question about how to form a capital J. And now he's writing again.

 

Just know you're not alone. My CAPD/ADD/dyslexic kiddo is sometimes just about enoguh to kill me!

 

EDIT: This is a really bad day for us. I COULD make him not wiggle--but then he'd get nothing done. Today, if he had to stand on his head, he can stand on his head.

 

It makes my head spin just to think about it :lol: I think ds 6 would like school at your house!

[ELaurie]

I had the same problems with my 6 year old. I would get so frustrated, and remind, and remind and remind and stand over him and get him back to the table, etc. etc.

 

The first thing I notice is that your school day seems like it might be long with all those extra subjects Ie Hebrew, Latin, Art...

 

 

You've offered some good suggestions here as well.

 

Just for the record, we don't do every subject every day :001_smile: Just the three Rs. the rest vary from day to day, with each occurring once or twice a week.

 

I like your idea of the daily meeting, and I can see that over time it will be important to put more of the onus for getting his work done on him.

[ELaurie]

I have two boys, 9 and 11. When my oldest was 6, he was just like your ds, bright, easily distracted... I felt like pulling my hair out. It was such a struggle! Each week I questioned whether I could do this for another week... I felt like a witch rather than a mom or teacher... I found that exercise helped A LOT. I would send them outside right after breakfast, along with the dogs (they needed it, too!), for 30 minutes while I cleaned up and got the materials ready for the day. When they came in tired, it was much easier to get them to sit down and concentrate.

 

MORE physical activity seems to be a common theme here! Let me just say that it has been a long, cold winter in Chicagoland this year! We are so glad to see signs that spring is arriving.

 

And this afternoon I sent both of them outside for a really long time :D

[DeeDeeMarie0]

I have been homeschooling for six years and have lurked on this board for a little longer than that. This board has helped me realize that it can be done! I have four boys 13, 12, 11 (today), and 8. Three have inattentive ADD and one has ADHD. I just smiled when I read the post. I have never posted about this before, but I feel your frustration. I have tried many different things over the years. They have listened to classical music while doing math, chewed gum (which they say helps.) They are very aware of their problem with focus and will sometimes have their own solutions.

 

I often have them run around the house several times, shoot 25 baskets etc. We did have a trampoline for about 3 years... until it fell apart, and that was the best. They would go out and jump around for about 15 minutes and come back in with better focus. Sometimes on nice days I would take the books outside and let them jump while I sat on the edge of the trampoline and did math facts, vocab, reading, etc. They loved this, and it is still one of their fondest memories from school years past!

 

Another way that we cope is with lists. I have to have lists for everything. They earn weekend electronic privilages or whatever is their thing by completing the list. For one it is electronics, for another it is going fishing, for another it is a sleepover or playdate with a friend. The list has to have everything on it or they don't get it done. It has ...get up at 7:00, clean-up room, make bed, brush teeth, bring down dirty clothes, etc...every step. If they come downstairs to eat and have to go back up to do one of these things...I lose them. They forget what they are doing, go into each others rooms, etc... I have a very comprehensive chore chart that tells them what day to do the chore and exactly what the chore is.

 

If we are going out to co-op, we have to pack the night before or we are in a state of total chaos in the morning. We try to do math first thing in the morning while they are fresh and this seems to work best. The ADHD son always has to have something in his hands to fidget with. Often he will build with Legos or magnetix while we are doing lessons. I have learned that if I ask him to sit still and enforce this with constant reminding, he will not be able to focus at all, but if I let him fidget he comprehends most things (unless he deems it totally boring.) They all have swivel chairs and I let them swivel (as long as I can take it.) They often lay down on the floor near the fireplace to do work or move to a different place to do different subjects. Yes, by the end of the day our books are all over the house, but it is all worth it. They are learning and progressing, and their self-esteem is intact.

 

In our early years, I think I was pretty hard on them because I didn't understand it all, and I thought the ADHD son had behavioral problems. As I learned more about it, I realized that he couldn't help himself. My only regret in looking back is that I wish I would have lightened up on the more structured schooling in the early years. I would have done even more read-alouds and studied things that interested them. These are the things they really remember...like studying ants, making an ant farm, making an ant cake, reading all the ant books we could find, etc.

Good luck with your journey.

[ELaurie]

I have been homeschooling for six years and have lurked on this board for a little longer than that. This board has helped me realize that it can be done! I have four boys 13, 12, 11 (today), and 8. Three have inattentive ADD and one has ADHD. I just smiled when I read the post. I have never posted about this before, but I feel your frustration. I have tried many different things over the years. They have listened to classical music while doing math, chewed gum (which they say helps.) They are very aware of their problem with focus and will sometimes have their own solutions.

 

I often have them run around the house several times, shoot 25 baskets etc. We did have a trampoline for about 3 years... until it fell apart, and that was the best. They would go out and jump around for about 15 minutes and come back in with better focus. Sometimes on nice days I would take the books outside and let them jump while I sat on the edge of the trampoline and did math facts, vocab, reading, etc. They loved this, and it is still one of their fondest memories from school years past!

 

Another way that we cope is with lists. I have to have lists for everything. They earn weekend electronic privilages or whatever is their thing by completing the list. For one it is electronics, for another it is going fishing, for another it is a sleepover or playdate with a friend. The list has to have everything on it or they don't get it done. It has ...get up at 7:00, clean-up room, make bed, brush teeth, bring down dirty clothes, etc...every step. If they come downstairs to eat and have to go back up to do one of these things...I lose them. They forget what they are doing, go into each others rooms, etc... I have a very comprehensive chore chart that tells them what day to do the chore and exactly what the chore is.

 

If we are going out to co-op, we have to pack the night before or we are in a state of total chaos in the morning. We try to do math first thing in the morning while they are fresh and this seems to work best. The ADHD son always has to have something in his hands to fidget with. Often he will build with Legos or magnetix while we are doing lessons. I have learned that if I ask him to sit still and enforce this with constant reminding, he will not be able to focus at all, but if I let him fidget he comprehends most things (unless he deems it totally boring.) They all have swivel chairs and I let them swivel (as long as I can take it.) They often lay down on the floor near the fireplace to do work or move to a different place to do different subjects. Yes, by the end of the day our books are all over the house, but it is all worth it. They are learning and progressing, and their self-esteem is intact.

 

In our early years, I think I was pretty hard on them because I didn't understand it all, and I thought the ADHD son had behavioral problems. As I learned more about it, I realized that he couldn't help himself. My only regret in looking back is that I wish I would have lightened up on the more structured schooling in the early years. I would have done even more read-alouds and studied things that interested them. These are the things they really remember...like studying ants, making an ant farm, making an ant cake, reading all the ant books we could find, etc.

Good luck with your journey.

 

Your advice is so wise. I can't thank you enough for coming out of lurking to share your experience.

 

Having read your post, I think I can survive for one more day :tongue_smilie:

 

Just kidding, of course. But you've helped me put some things in perspective :)

[Spy Car]

If you are aware of specific studies in this regard, I'm all :bigear:

 

I'd love to learn more about this!

 

PS. On an unrelated note, in conjunction with all of the other things you arr doing to keep math "fresh" for your dc, I'd encourage you to checkout he link to Professor B Math in my signature line. It's unlike anything else I've seen, and my dc are both thriving in mathematics. I remember ds 9 literally swinging from an indoor basketball hoop in our family room while reciting his math facts when he was 6. Ahh . . . boys :tongue_smilie:

 

Evidently much of this springs from the work of a man named Michael Gurian who's written a book (I have not read) called The Minds of Boys. He evident feels family-led education is vital. And that boys brains are physically different (based on MRIs and other tests) from girls and that these differences have consequences. Some good, some not so good.

 

I'm linking to a blog that gives (what appears to be) a very good synopsis.

 

http://tidewaterschool.blogspot.com/2009/02/boys-and-brain-development-how-boys.html

 

I'll take a look at Professor B.

 

Bill

[ELaurie]

Thanks Bill!

 

I'm familiar with Gurion's work, although I haven't read the book either. I'll take a look at the link you provided. Let me know your thoughts about Professor B math!

 

ETA: Thanks Bill. The article provides a nice synopsis. I read it while my ds ran around the house during a break between subjects :)

Edited March 18, 2009 by ELaurie

[Mommy22alyns]

It's good to read about other kids like Becca... yep, my wild and crazy one is a girl. She's had an off-the-charts activity level since, oh, conception. So we bounce spelling words, review grammar while she does bridges and kickovers, and take long play breaks in the middle of the school day. But almost every day is still a struggle for me to keep her on task! So thanks for sharing - at least I don't feel alone with a human SuperBall! ;)

[LizzyBee]

yep, my wild and crazy one is a girl. She's had an off-the-charts activity level since, oh, conception.

 

I had two sonographers tell me that Katie was the most active in utero baby they'd ever seen. That should have been a clue of what we were in for. :D

 

One year, I wrote in our Christmas letter that Katie isn't walking yet...She runs, hops, skips, jumps, and climbs, but she never walks.