Suggestions for entertaining infant!

[Reya]

I work from home and have a very, very, VERY high-maintenance baby. As in, not only do I have to hold her, but I have to entertain her, too. *crosses eyes* I do a swing, walker, bouncy chair, floor gym, Johnny jump-up rotation, but she gets very bored very fast. She's mastered all the skills of a 7-month-old--she's even got a pincer grasp, but she's clumsy enough that it ticks her off to the point of hysteria after a while. Anybody got great ideas for entertaining a not-quite mobile baby so you can get things accomplished? I take her next door to play with the toddler there (they are both great connoisseurs of crinkly paper....), which works great, but she can't keep up with the big boys, and so they don't do much to entertain her.

[Julie in Austin]

I notice that you have a 6yo. I'd bribe him to entertain the baby when you need to get something done. ;)

[kdeno]

Could she be overtired? I am over tired myself and just throwing ideas out:001_huh::tongue_smilie::confused: This too shall pass:001_smile:

 

Kari

[Guest janainaz]

Hmmm..... music? Also, my boys loved the highchair and cheerios. You said she's got the pincer grasp, so that entertains for a good ..... 5-10 minutes - lol.

 

I'm not pushing TV, but what about the Baby Einstein videos? Mine loved those, too. But mostly, they just wanted to sit on my lap. It's a hard age, but you gotta enjoy it! It goes too fast! The more you NEED to work, the more they feel it (I think). Good luck!:001_smile:

[Reya]

I notice that you have a 6yo. I'd bribe him to entertain the baby when you need to get something done. ;)

 

She's not interested, though he'd love to!

[Reya]

Backpack--I can clean house in this, but standing still (or sitting) is a big, fat NO!!!!!

 

I have a Mobywrap, too--ditto for that.

 

(Guess where she is right now!)

 

Unfortunately, she sleeps only 10-12 hrs per day, total. As soon as she's tired enough to nap for more than 15 minutes, I put her down. And I only get her when she's REALLY awake. *shakes head* She sleeps less than her big brother many days!

[Reya]

She's hit all the 7mo milestones, but she's actually just 4 mo. She loves music, but it doesn't get her off me. I wouldn't mind the lap if she'd just CHILL some of the time instead of needing direct interaction ever minute or so---I have NO concentration for that!

 

She loves TV--she sees it at the neighbor's house,--but that's a HUGE no-no here before age 3. We have a high rate of several neurological conditions that are positively associated with TV (austism, ADD, etc., etc). So we're extra-careful about it.

 

She can crawl backwards slowly--I'm praying that once she goes FORWARD, it'll get better. She can stand, too, and can even cruise a little. I wantthis baby mobile--it's what she so desperately craves!

 

If I can JUST get another contract under my belt, I can hire some help a bit of the time.....

[Miss Sherry]

I suggest you get someone to come in and help you with the baby. Since you are home, it could be a young pre-teen or teenager. Also, since you are home whoever comes in would have you there in case of emergencies,so you should be able to find someone for a very low price. If the baby does not get his/her emotional needs met it will only get more difficult to keep him/her happy.

Have the babysittyer carry the baby around alot, read to him, sing to him, dance with him, play hide-and- seek. Things to keep the baby happy and distracted so he won't still be demanding attention from you even while the baby sitter is there.

[Amber in AUS]

For a 4m old sounds like she is over tired. She NEEDS more than 10-12 hours sleep in 24 hrs for her brain to develop properly and for her to grow. No wonder she wants you all the time.

 

Sorry if that sounds harsh but i would start implementing a routine of 2 naps a day, say 10am and 2pm ish and strict bedtime at 7pm.

 

Maybe what she needs is more routine, more sleep and not actually more of you.

[ElizabethB]

She's not interested, though he'd love to!

 

Can you have a girl his age who's good with babies give him some tips? (They're more apt to think of ridiculous things a baby would enjoy that most adults would never want to do for more than 10 seconds, but that a young child will do for hours.)

 

How big is he? Can he wear the baby for a bit? I would trust some 6 year olds to wear a baby carrier and walk around, others, not.

 

Can you trade out the things on your floor gym? My daughter was the same way, she liked new things. I would also hang some of her other small toys on the floor gym by squeezing them into the rings, or clipping them on somehow, I don't exactly remember, I think I was sleep deprived or something!

 

I would also place new (from the bottom of the toy bin) toys on her walker, although they got thrown out fairly quick, so that didn't last as long as the new toys on the floor gym.

 

I also hung toys from her pack and play, I strung a bungee cord across the pack and play diagonally and hung rings of varying height with toys at the end. When that was a novelty, it lasted for quite some time. Once she figured out she was still stuck in her pack and play, game over!

[Reya]

I suggest you get someone to come in and help you with the baby. Since you are home, it could be a young pre-teen or teenager. Also, since you are home whoever comes in would have you there in case of emergencies,so you should be able to find someone for a very low price. If the baby does not get his/her emotional needs met it will only get more difficult to keep him/her happy.

Have the babysittyer carry the baby around alot, read to him, sing to him, dance with him, play hide-and- seek. Things to keep the baby happy and distracted so he won't still be demanding attention from you even while the baby sitter is there.

 

I'm on the East Coast--no such thing as a cheap babysitter here. I play with this baby for HOURS a day. If you haven't had one like this, you just can't imagine--and probably think that I'm lying! :-) I see other people's baby's lying quietly in a carrier--not sleepy but just...quiet...and I just about jump out of my skin wanting to rush over and find out what's wrong. The ONLY time she's mostly still is when she had an adult conversation to listen to or is either asleep or is falling asleep. I'd rush her to the doctor if she did that.

 

As soon as I get another contract and money coming in, I'll go for a sitter a couple of hours a day. But I've got to have money in to justify money out. :-/

[KJB]

I find when my baby is crabby and fussing about napping if I give her a warm bath she melts afterwards into a heap of sleepy baby snuggles.

 

Also, she'll play in the water for a long time. I put her baby tub where I'm working, sometimes, and fill with an inch or two of warm water and let her splash around. Of course, I'm right there and I usually have one of my other kids right there, too, so someone always has an eye on her. Needless to say, I only do this where it's OK for the floor to get soaked. She loves to splash!

 

Anyway, my sympathies. My little one is 7 months and she keeps us busy entertaining her. She does sleep really well at night and takes two good naps though, so at least I can count on a break. :grouphug:

[Reya]

For a 4m old sounds like she is over tired. She NEEDS more than 10-12 hours sleep in 24 hrs for her brain to develop properly and for her to grow. No wonder she wants you all the time.

 

Sorry if that sounds harsh but i would start implementing a routine of 2 naps a day, say 10am and 2pm ish and strict bedtime at 7pm.

 

Maybe what she needs is more routine, more sleep and not actually more of you.

 

Yeah....if you try that, what you get is a furious, screaming baby who cries in her crib until she vomits.

 

She's not tired. I wish she were! I'd get a lot more sleep then. When she's tired, she fusses. And she usually doesn't fuss. She babbles. And giggles. And jumps up and down on my leg. And plays with my hands. And grabs for the keyboard/my food/anything within reach. She just babbles louder and louder and LOUDER when I'm not paying enough attention, so that I'll talk back to her, but I can't talk and write at the same time.

 

She's been able to sign for milk or her paci for more than two months now. (She's making her brother look like a dummy, and DS tested in the 99.9th %ile.) We don't have a special sign for it, but all I have to say is, "So you want to go goodnight?" or "Do you want to sleep?" and she'll smile and kick her legs if she's tired. (She asks to be put down in her crib because even though she cries a little every time she's set down there, she just can't unwind the rest of the way for sleep without being alone.) So I've gotten really good at seeing signs of tiredness--fussing, short temper, etc.

 

I keep telling her that 10-12 hrs isn't enough sleep for a baby, but she doesn't listen. ;-) Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose--as a baby, I would not sleep through the night starting at 6 months if I was made to take any nap whatsoever. If I didn't need to sleep at night, I could get the two two-hour naps that I want. But I LIKE sleep myself, and to get that, I've got to be content with one 1.5-2 hr nap and one 15 minute catnap. I can get the second one up to an hour long, but that's with deliberately exhausting her--stimulating the heck out of her, getting her to bounce and to push her walker around, cheering on her efforts to walk while holding my hands, having her stand olding onto something for 15 minutes at a time. It's just not worth it.

 

I am not a morning person to begin with, but if I followed your recommended schedule, she'd be awake by 2 AM every day. I'd rather be shot. I let her talk to herself for a good half hour every morning as it is. (She's most independent then.)

Edited March 8, 2009 by Reya

[Reya]

Can you have a girl his age who's good with babies give him some tips? (They're more apt to think of ridiculous things a baby would enjoy that most adults would never want to do for more than 10 seconds, but that a young child will do for hours.)

 

How big is he? Can he wear the baby for a bit? I would trust some 6 year olds to wear a baby carrier and walk around, others, not.

 

Can you trade out the things on your floor gym? My daughter was the same way, she liked new things. I would also hang some of her other small toys on the floor gym by squeezing them into the rings, or clipping them on somehow, I don't exactly remember, I think I was sleep deprived or something!

 

I would also place new (from the bottom of the toy bin) toys on her walker, although they got thrown out fairly quick, so that didn't last as long as the new toys on the floor gym.

 

I also hung toys from her pack and play, I strung a bungee cord across the pack and play diagonally and hung rings of varying height with toys at the end. When that was a novelty, it lasted for quite some time. Once she figured out she was still stuck in her pack and play, game over!

 

He's too little to carry her safely, and she LOVES his antics when she's happy, but that hour or so a day is a freebie for me, anyway. I'll try more things on the floor gym. The worst part is that everything, well, ticks her off after a while. When playing with something, she develops complicated Plan which her body is INVARIABLY uncooperative in executing (I think she things her fingers do it to spite her--I mean, this is a baby who could bat deliberately at objects at 2 days old and has WILLED herself into the ability to form a pincer grasp before 3 months, but baby dexterity can only by improved so much by force of will alone....). So she ends up holding the toy at the wrong angle or the wrong end or maybe it won't fit in her mouth the right way...and BAM! Explosion of baby fury. Does Mommy help? Oh, no, because baby wants to do it HERSELF, and anyway, Mommy isn't a mind reader and doesn't know exactly what element of how she was holding it she found so offensive. So then she glares at me, as if I can force her hands to do what she wants, and the only solution is to pick her up and redirect. But if she's down again, she will try sometihng else equally complicated almost instantly, get frustrated even faster, and lose it again.

 

Out of sheer curiosity, I once decided to leave her to find out what she'd do. She just purple with rage and cried until she gagged on her own spittle, still desperately trying to make the toys do some sort of thing that it wasn't wanting to do just right.

 

She WANTS the toys. She really, really loves it when I rotate toys, as I'm careful to do. But she always gets herself in such a state of fury within 10 minutes after that first free hour of the day whenever her body just can't manage the messages that her mind is sending to it that she's a blob of screaming hysteria. When held and played with directly, she'll calm down pretty fast and be super-happy baby again, but by then, big brother is no longer any good for entertainment, and she won't put up with anything he tries to do to entertain her. (And he tries! He adores her! He's too small to hold her like she wants to be held at that point, though, and too big to be on her level physically. Our neighbor's child that she adores so much is still a crawler, and since he's only semi-verbal, he's very physical in ways that DS isn't. He also crawls, which is a source fo fascination for her.)

 

She just demands sooooo much that I've actually had to put her in her room and shut the door and let herself scream for an hour to keep from losing my mind. If she'd only just RELAX and SNUGGLE like a normal baby for half an hour or be content with holding her toys however her fingers can manage it, I'd be so much more SANE! I love playing with her, but even a happy, bubbling baby gets tiring after the first five hours of talking and bouncing and tickling and face-making.

 

And she isn't fussing when she's mad. She's just...MAD. Fussing is an irritable edginess, and that means she's tired, and she gets put right to bed then. But the fury is a direct reaction to frustration.

 

I've joked that the kid's got three of the seven deadly sins down already! :-) She really is an incredibly happy baby when she isn't furious or asleep, but the happiness is sooooooooo exhausting that I just wish she'd mellow out some of the time!

Edited March 8, 2009 by Reya

[Reya]

I find when my baby is crabby and fussing about napping if I give her a warm bath she melts afterwards into a heap of sleepy baby snuggles.

 

Also, she'll play in the water for a long time. I put her baby tub where I'm working, sometimes, and fill with an inch or two of warm water and let her splash around. Of course, I'm right there and I usually have one of my other kids right there, too, so someone always has an eye on her. Needless to say, I only do this where it's OK for the floor to get soaked. She loves to splash!

 

Anyway, my sympathies. My little one is 7 months and she keeps us busy entertaining her. She does sleep really well at night and takes two good naps though, so at least I can count on a break. :grouphug:

 

HATES baths unless I'm in the tub, too. :-) So no rest for the weary! AND she doesn't sleep after! I've never met a baby like this. She's happy after a bath with mommy, sure--and ready to go for another two or more hours after such a wonderful, rejuvenating bath-break. *crosses eyes*

 

She might like to be allowed into a super-shallow tub the she can be belly-down in. We've tried the traditional baby bath but not that yet. Hmmmm.... But that wouldn't buy me much because I wouldn't trust myself to watch closely enough while working. :-/ And DS, being six, is too young to entrust with something that potentially dangerous.

 

Baby snuggles...this is the LEAST snuggly baby I've ever met. I pretty much have to steal snuggles when she's asleep! She's up, looking around, babbling, bouncing, kicking, waving. She's sat upright on my knee since she was 2 months old or less. Even facing your chest, she'll spend the whole time craning to look around when she isn't actively chewing your shoulder. She gives sweet hugs, but other than that, forget it. No snuggles while conscious!

 

She's not crabby when she's held. In fact, she's one of the most cheerful babies I've ever met--consistently cheerful--when an adult is holding her and someone is interacting with her. If she fusses while being held and talked to, she's within two minutes of sleep.

 

This is a baby who literally, at less than two months of age, once slept a mere 8 hours out of 24 because her grandfather was visiting for the first time and was just too interesting for her to tolerate any sort of nap. She was happy and babbling and cheerful the whole time, but it gets exhausting to have that kind of constant drain!

[KJB]

That would scare me too much. Water can be so dangerous....

 

Isn't she sitting up? I assumed since you said she'd met all 7 month milestones that she was. My little girl sits up in her tub and splashes us or throws toys at us. :D She's happy as long as we're there to interact with her but she doesn't demand to be held all the time. "They" do say, if you meet her emotional need to be held now, it will pay off with more independence later, so hopefully you'll have that to look forward to.

 

Sorry none of the suggestions will help you. Sounds like you're just going to have to keep holding that baby until she acquires the motor skills to get into some other kind of trouble. At least she's cheerful about it!

[Reya]

That would scare me too much. Water can be so dangerous....

 

Isn't she sitting up? I assumed since you said she'd met all 7 month milestones that she was. My little girl sits up in her tub and splashes us or throws toys at us. :D She's happy as long as we're there to interact with her but she doesn't demand to be held all the time. "They" do say, if you meet her emotional need to be held now, it will pay off with more independence later, so hopefully you'll have that to look forward to.

 

Sorry none of the suggestions will help you. Sounds like you're just going to have to keep holding that baby until she acquires the motor skills to get into some other kind of trouble. At least she's cheerful about it!

 

She's sitting, but she'll typically sit only for a little while before pushing onto her tummy to reach for things more easily. Now that she can scoot backwards and spin in a circle on her belly, sitting isn;t as much fun anymore. I couldn't trust her to STAY siting in a tub for more than two minutes.

 

My DS was a lap-leech, but he was a snuggly, quieter baby (still quite active compared to most, but nothing like this one!).

 

I guess I was just looking for a magic pill. I'd already tried all my own tricks and my friends' tricks and searched online for any other brilliant ideas. She is a delight, but round about 6 pm, when I've had so many hours of it, I begin to fray a bit. I cannot understand why she isn't tired when I'M tired! :-P

[Anne Rittenhouse]

I had one of those kids....it was my first and as a result my last....she's highly intelligent and on the fast track. Be prepared it doesn't get easier....the more she advances the more she know where and how fast she'll want the next step....I thought I loose my mind between the ages of 18 months and 4 years.

[JFSinIL]

I had one of those kids....it was my first and as a result my last....she's highly intelligent and on the fast track. Be prepared it doesn't get easier....the more she advances the more she know where and how fast she'll want the next step....I thought I loose my mind between the ages of 18 months and 4 years.

 

I agree - sounds like you have a gifted kid here! Just bear with this stage - in a few months she will be more mobile and have a better grasp for toys.

[AuntPol]

Sounds like my daughter. She rolled over at 11 days old, sat up at 3 months, crawled and stood at four months, cruised at 5 months, walked well at seven months. She never wanted to be swaddled, put in a back pack, snugglie, etc. She had to move constantly!

 

Mine would go on floor (beside my desk) and struggle to reach the toy out of reach. She loved the exersaucer for about 15 minutes at a stretch. She liked to pull ribbon tied to toy on her high chair. I would give her board books and rotate those with different other things. She liked to listen to audio books. She exhausted me. She has always been my jump right in and experience it all until overly exhausted child and she needs constant variety and stimulation even now. Thankfully #2, (who is 15 months younger and equally bright) was the sit and observe and note all the details first before diving in. He would sit for hours in the swing and just watch everyone. I would have never survived otherwise.

 

 

You said she will be still for adult conversations. Could you record conversations that you are having through out the day with her, your son, your DH, etc and then replay those over and over?

 

Oh my dd loved the boppy pillow. Either propping in it to sit or lying on it to push herself up and over to get to a toy. She liked the tunnels and activity blankets too.

[Miss Sherry]

I'm on the East Coast--no such thing as a cheap babysitter here. I play with this baby for HOURS a day. If you haven't had one like this, you just can't imagine--and probably think that I'm lying! :-) I see other people's baby's lying quietly in a carrier--not sleepy but just...quiet...and I just about jump out of my skin wanting to rush over and find out what's wrong. The ONLY time she's mostly still is when she had an adult conversation to listen to or is either asleep or is falling asleep. I'd rush her to the doctor if she did that.

 

As soon as I get another contract and money coming in, I'll go for a sitter a couple of hours a day. But I've got to have money in to justify money out. :-/

From what you have described on here, the ONLY reasonable advice IS that you get some help. If you are going to be snarky about that, then you are being unreasonable.

Is paying a few bucks a day for a babysitter for the well being and mental development of your child something you can justify ? If it is not, than you really need to take a good, hard look at your priorities and see what you can change.

 

I don't appreciate the snarky reply from you after spending time trying to come up with a helpful suggestion.

Edited March 8, 2009 by Miss Sherry

[Miss Sherry]

I have one more suggestion that helped my daughter when her baby did a lot of crying before going to sleep.

This lullaby tape actually did calm her baby down. She would get quiet when it was on.

 

It has the sound of a heart beat along with the lullabies.

It sounds like your baby may not be getting enough sleep so this may be helpful.

Here's a link to it.

 

http://www.babygotosleep.com/

[Sharon H in IL]

Wow. I thought my baby was tiring. Yours sounds like a machine for slowly killing mommy! Brilliant, I'm sure, but . . . wow. just cannot imagine.

 

Mother's helper pre-teen is all I can suggest.

[ekarl2]

I agree that baby sitters aren't cheap. I have a young girl whom I hire to be a mother's helper. She's homeschooled, so her hours are flexible. She can normally give me a couple of hours 2 or 3 times a week. I pay her $5 a hour, but I have two kids. She's with the kids in the next room, but I'm here to oversee. I'm able to get some work done and the money I pay her is pretty minimal. She's earning money toward her mission trip this summer. It works out great. You really don't need to hire a babysitter, just a young lady who will do the entertaining for an hour or two.

[Miss Sherry]

I agree. That is what I have already suggested(hiring a preteen or teenager) but was shot down for.

But until you look around and ask a few young girls, it seems unreasonable to say no one is available.

I think Mom is over tired. When you are over tired everything is just hard.

[ElizabethB]

One other idea...

 

My daughter wanted to walk from a very early, and could stand while being held as long as we can remember, but at least from 2 weeks onward. At maybe 4 or 5 months, we "helped" her walk in various ways--adapting her jump up somehow and holding the ropes to keep her upright while she walked (again, the details are vague) and also, with wooden spoons--she held onto wooden spoons and we held the top portion while she walked. She learned to cruise on her own at 6 or 7 months old.

 

I'm not sure you could come up with anything safe enough for a 6 year old to do, though, but maybe if you figure out something you could wear her out. Or, if you're more mechanically inclined than me (my mechanically inclined husband was deployed during this challenging period), maybe you can come up with some kind of a safe contraption to help her walk. I had visions of a tiny baby parallel bars for her to hold and walk through, but did not have the energy or know how to come up with anything. I was sure she would have been happy for hours with something along these lines.

 

:grouphug:

[Reya]

From what you have described on here, the ONLY reasonable advice IS that you get some help. If you are going to be snarky about that, then you are being unreasonable.

Is paying a few bucks a day for a babysitter for the well being and mental development of your child something you can justify ? If it is not, than you really need to take a good, hard look at your priorities and see what you can change.

 

I don't appreciate the snarky reply from you after spending time trying to come up with a helpful suggestion.

 

I wasn't being snarky. I was stating the situation. All I need is two hours a day to work. You've got some weird idea that I want to horribly neglect my child and damage her "mental development" (something that does NOT need worrying about at this point!) when all I want is to play directly with her for a mere 6 hours a day instead of 10. I really don't mind holding her for the whole time--I wrote a whole book with DS on my lap. She's a whole new level of dififculty, though. I'm not sure what you seem to think the situation here is, but it's obviously different from what I'm facing!

[Miss Sherry]

I wasn't being snarky. I was stating the situation. All I need is two hours a day to work. You've got some weird idea that I want to horribly neglect my child and damage her "mental development" (something that does NOT need worrying about at this point!) when all I want is to play directly with her for a mere 6 hours a day instead of 10. I really don't mind holding her for the whole time--I wrote a whole book with DS on my lap. She's a whole new level of dififculty, though. I'm not sure what you seem to think the situation here is, but it's obviously different from what I'm facing!

Yes, snarky, like I said before. You are being snarky again now. "You've got some weird idea that I want to horribly neglect my child and damage her "mental development..." You are very snarky and I can see it's been a waste of time responding to your post. Sometimes I wonder why some people post questions when they don't really want suggestions. Maybe they are just looking for someone to be snarky to.

 

[Reya]

I have one more suggestion that helped my daughter when her baby did a lot of crying before going to sleep.

This lullaby tape actually did calm her baby down. She would get quiet when it was on.

 

It has the sound of a heart beat along with the lullabies.

It sounds like your baby may not be getting enough sleep so this may be helpful.

Here's a link to it.

 

http://www.babygotosleep.com/

 

 

Hmm. I can't work with anything with a vocal track--it distracts me too much unless it isn't in English or Spanish--but you may be onto something with that. I'll try some Chopin tomorrow. Maybe that will calm her from her normal tornado-like state!

 

Yesterday, she slept from 11pm to 6am. She didn't nap until 4pm. She made it until 6, though!

[Reya]

I agree. That is what I have already suggested(hiring a preteen or teenager) but was shot down for.

But until you look around and ask a few young girls, it seems unreasonable to say no one is available.

I think Mom is over tired. When you are over tired everything is just hard.

 

 

Going rate here is $10 an hour. I can probably find $7, with me at home and willing to hire an energetic preteen. Once I have a contract, I'm absolutely going to do this! So you're not shot down. I just need 1-2 months until I can afford this....

[Reya]

One other idea...

 

My daughter wanted to walk from a very early, and could stand while being held as long as we can remember, but at least from 2 weeks onward. At maybe 4 or 5 months, we "helped" her walk in various ways--adapting her jump up somehow and holding the ropes to keep her upright while she walked (again, the details are vague) and also, with wooden spoons--she held onto wooden spoons and we held the top portion while she walked. She learned to cruise on her own at 6 or 7 months old.

 

I'm not sure you could come up with anything safe enough for a 6 year old to do, though, but maybe if you figure out something you could wear her out. Or, if you're more mechanically inclined than me (my mechanically inclined husband was deployed during this challenging period), maybe you can come up with some kind of a safe contraption to help her walk. I had visions of a tiny baby parallel bars for her to hold and walk through, but did not have the energy or know how to come up with anything. I was sure she would have been happy for hours with something along these lines.

 

:grouphug:

 

 

Hmm. Stinky's favorite thing to do now is to walk while holding your hands or to cruise, supervised, on the furniture. (At this point, she mostly falls over after two steps!) I didn't think to get DS to try to walk her! I seem to be able to get extra nighttime sleep out of her in a minute-to-minute correspondence with the walking that I do with her before bed, so this might even buy me an extra nap.

 

The thought! The joy!

 

He's have to hold onto her hands, too, because if you don't, she gets too excited and lets go!

[Reya]

Yes, snarky, like I said before. You are being snarky again now. "You've got some weird idea that I want to horribly neglect my child and damage her "mental development..." You are very snarky and I can see it's been a waste of time responding to your post. Sometimes I wonder why some people post questions when they don't really want suggestions. Maybe they are just looking for someone to be snarky to.

 

 

 

Or maybe you're assuming the worst! Goodness. Don't get so upset. If you notice my previous post, I'm going to try your suggestion of music first.

 

I asked everyone I know face-to-face before I asked here, so I tried most of these things already. It's not that I don't like the suggestions--it's that most are either impossible or other wise women have already suggested them and they've been tried.

 

I can't do one of your suggestions. It's not that we're broke. It's that DH isn't exactly supportive of my career. He would look askance at me hiring anyone without a contract even though I usually pull in $100/hr. :-/ It's not worth the marriage strain to do hire someone.

[Miss Sherry]

Hmm. I can't work with anything with a vocal track--it distracts me too much unless it isn't in English or Spanish--but you may be onto something with that. I'll try some Chopin tomorrow. Maybe that will calm her from her normal tornado-like state!

 

Yesterday, she slept from 11pm to 6am. She didn't nap until 4pm. She made it until 6, though!

 

Do you have to work in the same room she takes naps in ?

What is so unusual about these tapes is the heart beat that is on the tape with the music. You probably heard a sample. In case you don't know, there are some samples on the site to listen to.

I wouldn't have believed it would help, but it did for my daughters baby.

When she put her down for a nap or to go to bed at night she would calm down to the sound of the heart beat and happily make sounds to herself until she fell asleep. No more crying. It was great.

 

[Reya]

She does sound like my baby!!!

 

You said she will be still for adult conversations. Could you record conversations that you are having through out the day with her, your son, your DH, etc and then replay those over and over?

 

Probably, but she's have to sit in my lap, and I couldn't concentrate. I've tried playing crime shows in the background while I work, and I just can't think.

 

Wait! DH has sound-canceling headphones. I could put those on, and she could listen to adults yapping, and maybe that would work. I could wait until she got good and tired of playing with toys and had reached the not-tired-but-ultra-ticked-off stage, and maybe that'd unwind her after half an hour of sitting quietly so that she could play with toys again, if only in my lap, and not need constant talking-to.

 

Now I've got three definite things to try!

 

It's also been a while since I've tried books. At the restaurant tonight, she spent the entire night standing on the booth and flipping the menu open and closed, so she might really like that.

 

Four things! Yay!

[Reya]

Do you have to work in the same room she takes naps in ?

What is so unusual about these tapes is the heart beat that is on the tape with the music. You probably heard a sample. In case you don't know, there are some samples on the site to listen to.

I wouldn't have believed it would help, but it did for my daughters baby.

When she put her down for a nap or to go to bed at night she would calm down to the sound of the heart beat and happily make sounds to herself until she fell asleep. No more crying. It was great.

 

 

 

Ah! I see what you're saying now. We have a baby-soothing noisemaker (with a heartbeat, etc). Doesn't seem to make a difference. When she's tired, she goes to sleep within 30 seconds. She self-comforts pretty fast, too, when she partially rouses and isn't really hungry. I wish it were a case of her being truly overtired, but it isn't. When she doesn't sleep, it's because she doesn't need to. If I try to put her down when she's only a little tired, if I'm not lucky, I get the furious vomiting baby. If I am lucky, I get five minutes of sleep....that then gets deducted, with interest, from her nighttime total.

 

But music might calm her down just enough to, well, chill like a normal baby for a while! Just relax those muscles and maybe, just maybe snuggle for a few minutes. If this girl could walk, she wouldn't. She'd only run!

 

She's also a morning person. I am most emphatically NOT.

 

I'm going to get Chopin out now. That and board books, since she can definitely turn the pages without infuriating herself....

 

(I've tried music before. Maybe super SOOTHING music with do it. I'll try the samples with her, too, but I'm not holding my breath. The two days she took good naps and then slept only 4 hours at night still give me nightmares....)

 

Maybe if I read a board book three times, pointing to each word, she'll like it for a while. She LOVES words.

Edited March 9, 2009 by Reya

[Reya]

Yours sounds like a machine for slowly killing mommy!

 

*laughs madly* Oh, YES. My neighbor at first didn't believe me. Then she babysat the squirt. She was kind of dazed when I came back. I can only hope that this energy will be put to good use int he future!!!!!

[The Governess]

I would suggest getting her evaluated for therapy. Obviously not because she's lacking developmentally, but because it sounds like a) her mental ability is far ahead of her physical ability which is causing frustration (and therapy could help her bridge this gap) and b) she sounds like she is having a hard time regulating herself. In my state, therapy for children under 3 is free. My dd was getting occupational therapy because she has some sensory issues and self-regulation problems - she is extremely active and very impulsive. The therapy has made a tremendous difference. Your dd may not qualify, but I'm thinking that the lack of sleep, the difficulty in getting her to a "quiet alert" state, and the fact that autism/add, etc. are in your family history would probably be enough to get her an evaluation at least.

 

The things that have helped my dd the most when she is having a hard time relaxing are: swinging (at the park), heavy work (like trying to move around in a ball pit, pushing or lifting heavy things, etc.), and structured activity (her gymnastics classes are perfect for this - so much different than free play at the park).

 

About the sleep: it seems to me that either her lack of sleep is caused by her inability to relax, or her inability to relax is caused by her lack of sleep. Addressing either problem will probably help both issues. Have you tried a white noise machine? I have a couple friends that swear by them for getting their babies to sleep and to help them stay asleep. Infant massage would probably also help - the deep pressure of a massage, rather than softer touch, helps if it's a sensory-related issue.

 

I hope you find something that works...:001_smile:

[ElizabethB]

Hmm. Stinky's favorite thing to do now is to walk while holding your hands or to cruise, supervised, on the furniture. (At this point, she mostly falls over after two steps!) I didn't think to get DS to try to walk her! I seem to be able to get extra nighttime sleep out of her in a minute-to-minute correspondence with the walking that I do with her before bed, so this might even buy me an extra nap.

 

The thought! The joy!

 

He's have to hold onto her hands, too, because if you don't, she gets too excited and lets go!

 

Holding hands--good idea. I hadn't thought to mention that because it hurt our backs (mine and MIL's and mother's when they visited while husband was deployed). But, a 6 year old is the perfect height for this! The spoons and jump up arrangement were all to try to save our backs from bending over to help her walk.

 

Another idea--when my son was 4 months old, my then 3 year old daughter would play ring a round the rosy with him. He also wanted to walk at that age! She also had other things she played with him--I'll have to look through the pictures tomorrow afternoon for ideas. She was a wizard at figuring out games that he could play with her--she still is! She knows what he is capable of more than we do.

 

One more idea, salad spinner. I'll have to see if I can post a picture, it's well worth the $20 or $30. You need the kind with a big handle to pump up and down. At first, just let them play with it empty. Then, add small toys inside and spin them.

 

This is the one, my son loved it from a young age, hours and hours of baby fun, also the older kids loved it, one of the favorite toys of visiting friends up to age 11: http://www.seasonedwithlove.com/salad_spinner.jpg It's called OXO good grips.

 

My mom was amazed at how much my son loved it, and also visiting baby friends, I told her she needed to buy my nephew one for his shower, it was truly the best baby toy we had, but she was too afraid, even after I printed out several pictures for her to prove what a fun baby toy it was. I thought it would be a fun conversation starter at the shower.

 

Edit: I think I got my salad spinner at Bed Bath and Beyond for cheap with a coupon, but worth it at full price, too. Very durable, it did finally crack but only after hundreds of hours of play with dozens of children, and it's still usable as a salad spinner, you just have to watch where it drips a bit.

Edited March 9, 2009 by ElizabethB

[Reya]

I would suggest getting her evaluated for therapy. Obviously not because she's lacking developmentally, but because it sounds like a) her mental ability is far ahead of her physical ability which is causing frustration (and therapy could help her bridge this gap) and b) she sounds like she is having a hard time regulating herself. In my state, therapy for children under 3 is free. My dd was getting occupational therapy because she has some sensory issues and self-regulation problems - she is extremely active and very impulsive. The therapy has made a tremendous difference. Your dd may not qualify, but I'm thinking that the lack of sleep, the difficulty in getting her to a "quiet alert" state, and the fact that autism/add, etc. are in your family history would probably be enough to get her an evaluation at least.

 

The things that have helped my dd the most when she is having a hard time relaxing are: swinging (at the park), heavy work (like trying to move around in a ball pit, pushing or lifting heavy things, etc.), and structured activity (her gymnastics classes are perfect for this - so much different than free play at the park).

 

About the sleep: it seems to me that either her lack of sleep is caused by her inability to relax, or her inability to relax is caused by her lack of sleep. Addressing either problem will probably help both issues. Have you tried a white noise machine? I have a couple friends that swear by them for getting their babies to sleep and to help them stay asleep. Infant massage would probably also help - the deep pressure of a massage, rather than softer touch, helps if it's a sensory-related issue.

 

I hope you find something that works...:001_smile:

 

My neighbor has a developmentally delayed kiddo, and I've been swiping therapy ideas from her ds's therapists just to exhaust my dd. That sounds really terrible, doesn't it? :-P That's why I didn't admit it up front. That and the fact that it only worked for a short while, until her stamina caught up. I walk her for a good half hour, at LEAST, a day. She spends hours, literally, standing. She can JUMP, for goodness sakes! And catch her own weight on her feet! What kind of baby can do that at four months???? Part of this is probably that she inherited my weird muscle metabolic disorder that leads to hypertrophy and hypertonia. But hypertonia plus hyper-stubbornness equals a baby who is VERY hard to wear out.

 

I'd also be lying if I said that she has a hard time sleeping. From the time she gets tired enough to sleep until the time that she's asleep is usually a matter of three to five minutes. I can spot tired-baby signs from a dozen yards, and she very reliably gives them off when she's ready to sleep. If she's not tired, at best she'll cry herself exhausted enough for a tiny cat-nap.

 

The white-noise machines will make her go back to sleep a little faster when she rouses slightly, but she's normally good about that, anyway. It'll sometimes get 15 or so minutes more out of her nap, but I get paid back for it at night. All the usual tricks for extending sleep work fine for one sleep period, but nothing seems to affect total sleep.

 

She also eats like a crazy thing. Her height and weight are comprable, but because she's so active, she's sucking calories out of me like anything. I was losing weight so fast that my milk supply was beginning to be impacted, and I had to up my caloric intake like some kind of long-distance athlete!

 

Maybe I should try teaching her something? She's got some signs. She can follow a few directions and can answer select yes/no questions with 90% reliability. (Including "Do you want to go to bed?" She'll smile and kick when she is tired and won't fight in the least.) I could start teaching her the alphabet. That sounds totally insane, but maybe the problem isn't so much that her body isn't getting tired but that her mind isn't getting tired...... I've done Starfall with her just because I got to the point where I was completely spent and talked out. Maybe I should print out some big letters on cardstock or something!

 

She loves massage. (My DS is PHENOMENALLY ticklish, so he hated it, even the deep stuff, but DD loves it.) But it doesn't seem to calm her down at all. Neither does singing to her directly. Or swinging. Or rocking. Or being very, very still. Or turning out the lights. Or...well, whatever. I used to call my DS my "binary baby" because he was always either ON or OFF, but I didn't know that ON could be so, well, ON.....

 

I've contacted the preschool evaluation program here before, for my DS. He had real issues, and I wanted his CAPD investigated. Well, around here, a 5-standard deviation gap between his high areas and low areas isn't enoguh to do anything about unless his low area are, well, lower than they are. So they would just laugh at me if I asked for an eval for Stinky.

Edited March 9, 2009 by Reya

[Reya]

This is the one, my son loved it from a young age, hours and hours of baby fun, also the older kids loved it, one of the favorite toys of visiting friends up to age 11: http://www.seasonedwithlove.com/salad_spinner.jpg It's called OXO good grips.

 

I think the neighbors have one that they let their 3-y-o play with! I'll see if she's interested. I'm not sure if she'd care yet. She's big on opening and closing right now.... (Hey, that reminds me--I need to swipe another toy from there for a day to see if she'll like it, too!) We have a top that works like that, too, but I haven't shown her yet. She loves FIDDLY toys, which annoys me sinc eshe can't really handle them.

 

Okay. One more page of real work, then BED for me. You see how incoherent my typing's getting. Oh, well. I need to be writing a weird dream scene now, anyway.

[ElizabethB]

Could you try to trade some time with someone?

 

Trade off some tutoring for a homeschooler with time watching your baby?

 

Or, watch a few toddlers for a few hours in return for a few hours watching your baby?

 

It would probably net you more time to type if you set up the hours for each on your schedule so that you're doing your part of the trade during hours when you'd be entertaining baby anyway and have them watching baby during her high need hours when you could be productive if not entertaining her. (They would have to watch your baby while you tutored, too, but tutoring should be more valuable than babysitting--although your baby sounds a bit trickier than a normal baby!)

[Mamagistra]

:001_huh:

[Elaine]

:001_huh:

 

I am totally tracking that vibe, baby!;)

[ajjkt]

SHe sounds a lot like my eldest. I've finally worked out that the more tired he gets, the more active he gets. I spent ages misinterpreting it as a low need for sleep and kept feeding him more and more attention as he demanded it. Ooopppss....if only I had instead tried relaxation techniques with him such as massage etc and calmed him to sleep instead of continuing to stimulate him. FWIW, he still does that now at 7.:grouphug:

[Jenn in Mo]

If you haven't had one like this, you just can't imagine--and probably think that I'm lying! :-) I see other people's baby's lying quietly in a carrier--not sleepy but just...quiet...and I just about jump out of my skin wanting to rush over and find out what's wrong. The ONLY time she's mostly still is when she had an adult conversation to listen to or is either asleep or is falling asleep. I'd rush her to the doctor if she did that.

 

My oldest was like this and I feel your pain! He was a high-need baby and he was a smart little booger. Still is, but thankfully he is no longer high-need.

 

A smart baby is a fussy baby. I'm not sure there's much you can do to get around it until they are mobile and can figure it out on their own. Blessedly, their need for mobility means they'll get it somehow someway. Mine never crawled. He went from belly-dragging to walking very quickly. His first steps were taken the week before he turned 8 months. After he started walking, much of his demands for attention slowed down. All that to say, just a few more months! She'll find a way to overcome her frustrations.

 

Routine is especially important for those bright young 'uns, imho. I wish I had figured it out with my oldest sooner. They are constantly begging for more stimulation! They need steady, predictable routines to give them some downtime. I'm not saying they want routine, but it is good for them.

 

One thing that I noticed affected my son's demands for my attention was the amount of time my son got to see mommy & daddy together. My husband worked a LOT back then and we'd go days without seeing him. Many days. For a while, we'd spend time together at midnight, when he got home, but our son wasn't seeing us together. On the days when he could see us sitting on the couch together, he was content to play by himself. When many days went by without seeing daddy, he'd be clingier than one would think possible.

 

Hugs! I know it's exhausting!

[Kelli in TN]

I am totally tracking that vibe, baby!;)

 

Please explain.

[Andie]

Please explain.

Kelli

 

 

Wow. Just.. :001_huh:

Edited March 10, 2009 by Andie

[Reya]

MY BABY IS ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Call choirs of angels!

 

This may just be chance, but the first thing I tried, because of her absolute fascination with print, was alphabet cards. I used some old business cards and wrote the letters of the alphabet on their backs, upper and lowercase separate, vowels in a different color. Then I pulled out about 8 or 10 letters I thought were both common and distinctive in written form and sound, and I "flashed" through them, making their sounds. Then I took out two and showed them one at a time and made the sounds of each. And then I put one on each hand and made the sound of the one I wanted her to pick. She got the idea right away--and apparently, this is HARD WORK for a baby! Completely exhausting but exciting at the same time! After 15 minutes last night, she was a limp blob of panting bonelessness. It was AWESOME. She slept 12 hours straight, only waking to feed!

 

It worked today, too! I've gotten two naps out of her, and she's now down for either her third nap or for the night--I'm not sure which. You should SEE the mental effort she puts forth. (When she chooses the right one, she eats it, so I'm going to need new ones, soon. When she chooses the wrong one--not that often anymore--she puts it back.)

 

WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Reya]

Could you try to trade some time with someone?

 

Trade off some tutoring for a homeschooler with time watching your baby?

 

Or, watch a few toddlers for a few hours in return for a few hours watching your baby?

 

It would probably net you more time to type if you set up the hours for each on your schedule so that you're doing your part of the trade during hours when you'd be entertaining baby anyway and have them watching baby during her high need hours when you could be productive if not entertaining her. (They would have to watch your baby while you tutored, too, but tutoring should be more valuable than babysitting--although your baby sounds a bit trickier than a normal baby!)

 

That might work, too!

[Reya]

SHe sounds a lot like my eldest. I've finally worked out that the more tired he gets, the more active he gets. I spent ages misinterpreting it as a low need for sleep and kept feeding him more and more attention as he demanded it. Ooopppss....if only I had instead tried relaxation techniques with him such as massage etc and calmed him to sleep instead of continuing to stimulate him. FWIW, he still does that now at 7.:grouphug:

 

She totally ignores the massage. Doesn't seem to MIND it, but ignores it. Ignores all other relaxation techniques, too. (If you FORCE her to be still--well, THAT she minds!)

 

Tiring her backside out physically didn't seem to work, either, but mental exhaustion seems to have potential.....