Is it reasonable to elementary aged kids to sit through a one hour class

[Lisa R.]

without a bathroom break?

 

If kids have a small break between classes, do you think they should be allowed to get a drink or use the bathroom?

 

I guess, I do. But what do you do with a child that says they "really have to go." There's no way for the teacher to judge the validity of that statement.

 

In elementary school, I remember we had a mid-morning break and a lunch break. As I recall, my classmates and I were all able to handle this. (However, I went to a ridiculously strict school, so I probably shouldn't base any decision on what I experienced there.)

 

As a parent, I would tell my child to wait. For example, in a church service, I tell them to go to the bathroom ahead of time. If they whisper to me during the service that they need to go, I tell them to wait. After all, it's just one hour long. There have been a handful of times that I've seen a desperate look that's caused me to let them be excused. Most of the times they ask me, I think they're just a little bored. I think it's good manners and good practice of some self control to take wait until the service is over. I would expect my kids to be told to wait if they were in a classroom situation, too.

 

As a teacher, I'm not as familiar with the kids and their needs, though. How would you deal with this?

[Ottakee]

For most kids, I think they could wait. I would make sure though that there were bathroom breaks between the classes.

 

With homeschoolers, it might be more of a situation where they are not used to "thinking ahead" about things like going to the bathroom before class starts as at home they just get up, go, and come back.

 

For younger kids and those that might have a special need (like med side effects, bladder issues, etc.) I would let them go.

 

You might want to ask as kids come into the class if they need to use the bathroom or get a drink BEFORE class starts.

[Guest janainaz]

I'd let them go. My kids are not ones to say they need to go unless they really do - my ds9 would rather hold it than to get up in the middle of something.

[Miss Marple]

I had to deal with this in our co-op. Our kids had a 10 minute break before a 50 minute class in which to get a drink (water fountain), go to the bathroom, or run around to burn off energy. I had one particular problem student - he would reeealllllyyyyy need a drink, or reeeaaallllyyyy need to go to the bathroom. One day I gave him the heads up that I would no longer allow him to leave and disrupt the class. I told him before class began that he could not go so he had better "prepare" himself ahead of time. Sure enough, he tried it again and I flatly refused the request. He told my kids I was really mean, but he never did it again.

 

Physiologically, unless there is something wrong with the child (infection, developmental issues) a child of that age should be able to endure 1 hour - just don't let them guzzle drinks before class.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Well, there most certainly isn't any reason they couldn't assuming they don't have a physical problem. However, I could never deny a child access to the restroom either. I might go as far as to ask one that regularly asked to go to go before coming to class though.

 

I guess I see it a couple different ways. They should be respectful and not ask unless they really need to go. They should go before class if they regularly need to go about that time. But that any person that NEEDS to go should be able to at any point.

[snickelfritz]

My dd turns 6 in June and would be considered 1st grade next year. She would not necessarily be able to make it 1 hr. She currently has dance class (which she loves) at 1:00. If we eat lunch at noon or after, she will literally have to take 2 or 3 bathroom breaks during her class. And I do make her go right before class starts. I'm hoping she will grow out of it, but I think it's conceivable that she will have similar issues next year.

 

So, that's why I asked. There would be a big difference in expectations between a 1st grader and a 4th grader.

[Donna]

My dd has an hour long violin lesson, Sunday school class, and gymnastics. I always ask her to go to the bathroom just prior to the start of class. It eliminates the disruption.

[swellmomma]

Typically they can last the 1 hr if they were sent right before HOWEVER that is not always the case. Even last night for example, we were at the hockey game, I took ds5 to the bathroom not even 10 minutes later he said he had to go again, and he really did need to go. There was only 15 minutes left of the game and I could have made him wait, but if I did that he likely would have pooped his pants.

 

My dd can go hours without needing to go, but she has weird things that trigger the reflex to go, such as if her hair gets pulled(used to be only that she had to go when I was brushing her hair, but now if it gets tugged in anyway she has to run for the bathroom).

 

When they were in school before their teacher let them go to the bathroom if there was 20 or more minutes left of class. If there was less than that she asked that they wait for class to end unless they are showing obvious signs of distress(potty dance etc). I do remember being in 2nd grade and needing to go very very badly and the teacher not letting me go because it was the class right after recess, I ended up wetting my pants and still remember how embarassed I was.

Edited March 8, 2009 by swellmomma

[Pegasus]

As an adult, I take it for granted that if I find that I need to get a drink or use the restroom, that I can just excuse myself from any situation and go. Why would I deny that same right to a child? Sure, they should be coached to "go" before a class, concert, play, etc. and to try to wait until the least disruptive time to make their exit but I'd never tell them that they couldn't go.

 

A friend's daughter (age 12!) recently wet her pants at school because they are issued a certain number of tickets to use the bathroom during class and she lost her tickets. She said she didn't have time between classes to use the bathroom and was refused a break when she asked because she didn't have any tickets.

 

Pegasus

[mcconnellboys]

When we were in coop, we told them to make certain that they went to the bathroom, etc. *before* coming into class and not to ask to go during class. Sometimes there might be a situation where it is necessary for someone to go during such a time frame due to illness, special needs, etc., but mostly I tend to think that sort of thing is due to someone just being antsy and wanting to get up and out of class to wander, kids not being accustomed to following anyone's schedule but their own, etc. We had in particular a number of boys who tried to use this to just get out of class and wander around the building, getting into treats in the kitchen that didn't belong to them, etc.

[Ellie]

In most cases, yes.

 

You tell the dc to go before they come :-)

[fivetails]

As an adult, I take it for granted that if I find that I need to get a drink or use the restroom, that I can just excuse myself from any situation and go. Why would I deny that same right to a child? Sure, they should be coached to "go" before a class, concert, play, etc. and to try to wait until the least disruptive time to make their exit but I'd never tell them that they couldn't go.

 

A friend's daughter (age 12!) recently wet her pants at school because they are issued a certain number of tickets to use the bathroom during class and she lost her tickets. She said she didn't have time between classes to use the bathroom and was refused a break when she asked because she didn't have any tickets.

 

Pegasus

 

:iagree:

 

When my daughter was in ps (this is our second year of hs'ing), I'd always told her that if she needed the washroom during class and the teacher refused to let her go, she had my permission to just get up and go anyway.(and several times, she did.) I'm sorry, but my kid is not gonna sit there in discomfort (or outright pain sometimes!) with her legs crossed hoping that she's not gonna have an accident just because some teacher thinks the kids "should have gone before" ---- I find that whole way of thinking to be so ridiculous. You have to pee when you have to pee for crying out loud.

[fivetails]

In most cases, yes.

 

You tell the dc to go before they come :-)

 

And what if they didn't have to go "before"? You can't *make* yourself go if you don't have to go - that's why "go before you ___" drives me nuts. Our bodies don't work like that - you have to pee when you have to pee. ;)

[snickelfritz]

And what if they didn't have to go "before"? You can't *make* yourself go if you don't have to go - that's why "go before you ___" drives me nuts. Our bodies don't work like that - you have to pee when you have to pee.

 

We do have a rule that we try to use the restroom before we leave the house, before a class starts, etc... And my dd's will often act surprised that they really could go. So, I think it helps.

 

BUT

 

Sometimes *I* have to leave a church service to go use the restroom, after ALWAYS going right before. I just think that sometimes, despite best efforts, nature calls at inconvenient times.

 

If I suspected a child was using a bathroom break to get out of class, I would talk to them, maybe talk to a parent and find out if they typically have to use the restroom frequently, etc... Otherwise, I would encourage the child to find a natural break in class, move their seat closer to the door and give them a quiet signal to use to tell you they need to go, only let one child at a time go, etc...

[AuntPol]

As an adult, I take it for granted that if I find that I need to get a drink or use the restroom, that I can just excuse myself from any situation and go. Why would I deny that same right to a child? Sure, they should be coached to "go" before a class, concert, play, etc. and to try to wait until the least disruptive time to make their exit but I'd never tell them that they couldn't go.

 

 

 

 

As an adult, there are many situations where I have to hold it a lot longer than I would like. I can't ALWAYS excuse myself politely and even when I can there are times when you need to really work within the parameters.

 

If every adult got up in church when they had to go, services would be very disrupted. Most people hold it unless it is a real emergency. There are times I have been on long drives with no bathrooms in site. THere are times, I've waited in line for almost an hour. Yesterday, we left the house at 7 AM to go to a tournament. It was 2:00 before I had a chance to go to the bathroom.

 

 

But back to OP, generally I would allow a child to go to bathroom unless it was close to end of class and then I ask them to hold it. If they looked liked they were dying, I would send them. However, if this was a recurring class and a recurring issue, I would speak to the parents and see if there is some issue going on.

 

I've worked with public schools enough to see that many kids use the bathroom as an excuse to just get out of doing work. The hardest part is knowing when they really have to go and when they are really trying to waste time or get out of something.

[Laurie4b]

Generally, elementary students can wait. What I do is ask, "Can you wait?" with the expectation that they can. However, if they say no, I let them go. The risk of the humiliation to a child who truly has to go is not worth it.

[abbeyej]

Generally, elementary students can wait. What I do is ask, "Can you wait?" with the expectation that they can. However, if they say no, I let them go. The risk of the humiliation to a child who truly has to go is not worth it.

 

That has been my approach as well. I'll also remind them how long we have left in class, "We only have ten more minutes. Can you wait?" Usually they say "yes". If they look panicked and say "no", I send them on. In the long term, I find it has reduced requests to almost nil -- and if a child asks to be excused, they usually do need to go. ... But there was definitely a time in the beginning with any group of students I've had where one or more tried to "test" and see if they could get out of class regularly.

 

(Once I did [mildly] snap at a girl who very clearly decided she needed to go the instant her good friend left the room, lol. I said, "You can wait till K gets back." Oddly enough, when K returned two minutes later and I said, "C, do you still need to go to the restroom?" she said she was fine waiting, lol...)

[HSMom2One]

I teach art at a private classical school, and our classes are 55 minutes in length. When my students approach me I ask them if they can wait until class is over, and if they answer, "no", then I take their word for it and let them go. Only one student can be gone at a time though and it has to be quick. As for drinks, they are not usually allowed to go because they can easily stop at the fountain on their way to and from class.

 

Hope that helps.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Danestress]

can people really just make themselves go when they need to? I can't make myself go when the urge isn't there, for for me, "go before class" is meaningless. And when the urge is there, I need to go pretty quickly. I have always been that way.

 

Recently I got my hair cut and colored and I had to to TWICE during the procedure. It was a rather long procedure, but still ..... And no. I can't wait. Can some people just wait?