I don't know why this disturbed me so much but I can't let it go.

[lynn]

I was at Walmart and this young girl was carrying a tiny baby, up right with the baby's head tilted all the way back, (think to young to hold his head up) Then in the check out line my dd was being loud and I said "quiet, the baby's sleeping" The young girl practically threw the baby into the carrier, zipped it up then threw the flap of the cover(it was one that you put over an infant carrier for colder weather) over the baby's face from where I was standing it was on the babies face and I thought not my baby, not my place to say anything...whatever. I am kind of thinking the mother was tired, not thinking etc. but something was just off, her attitude, lack of nurturing something is just bothering me maybe I should have something and took whatever this mother would say. okay thanks for letting me rant, vent, talk it out??

Edited March 1, 2009 by lynn

[Parrothead]

I don't know. Something like that maybe all you can do is thank goodness that she didn't leave it in the car on a cold day.

[lynn]

I don't know. Something like that maybe all you can do is thank goodness that she didn't leave it in the car on a cold day.

 

 

Okay, I'll keep that thought in my head. It could be worse?!

[bkpan]

I cant tell you how often this happens to me. Once I became a mother, it humbles me to realize how much more I have come to care for ALL children, not just my own. I am so much more sensitive to even the appearance of children being mistreated. And it seems like half the time I go to a store, there is some incident involving a child.

 

Now, I have bad (sometimes very bad) days myself, so Im not saying that every time I witness a child being mistreated it means that child is not fully loved. But it is enough for me to start thinking down the path that there are SO many children that are being neglected and mistreated. I am one of those people that will glare at a parent who is yelling at a child. I have been known to begin to cry in the middle of a store when Ive overheard a dc being treated harshly. Breaks my heart.

 

It is hard.:(

 

Kim

[kalanamak]

I find the rough treatment of children in stores very painful, too. The very prim mother who expected a two year old to be quiet and toyless in a shopping cart while she perused the colorful children's book. When the girl had the ill manner to grab at one, she got a mean comment, a slap on the hand, a yank of the book, and she cried and cried, uncomforted while mom continued to look at all those nice books. The next time her wittle arm shot out at a colorful book, mom slapped it and marched her out of the store with something about "coming back when you learn to behave".

 

The teeny, tiny, preemy triplets I saw carried in one arm, their microscopic heads falling way back.

 

The toddler being fed unchewable chunks of hard bread and meat, and both mother and father WHAPPING it one the back each time it choked (I believe both those parents have given the child up, now).

 

It makes me sick. I think: if they do it in public, what must happen at home?

[Country Mouse]

When I hear/see situations like that it makes me hug my ds tighter and longer.

[Julpost]

When I witness something like this, I pray for them and the parents. Prayer is powerful.

[Dooley]

I once saw a young man walking down the street with a tiny baby in one arm, his little head hanging way back, unsupported, just as though he didnt realize he was holding a person. It so threw me, I found a place to turn around so I could stop him. I guess I felt that baby could not have been his, the way he was treating him. Guy was gone though.

 

I know you felt it wasnt your place, you have more self control than I do. I would have, kindly, said something. Some kids need others to look out for them, KWIM?

 

I once heard screaming from down the street, evidently, a woman was being beaten in a car by a man. I called the cops. They showed up and I went over and said I was the one who called. The woman was SO angry with me and told me I should mind my own business. I was incredulous. I told her she was worth more than she thought and I would do it again. People can be so mixed up, I think sometimes we have to be our brothers keeper.

[coralloyd]

My heart breaks at thing like this also. It is definately a time for prayer.

[Reya]

I have the opposite problem. *shakes head* People always freak out about the way I care for my babies because they're EXTREMELY precocious but quite small. My baby will be sitting on my hip, looking around while I shop one-handed, and some woman will come shrieking up to me: "Can't you see that baby's too young to support its head?????" I give a flat look back. "What exactly do you think she's doing?" Lady: "Oh. Um. But she's too YOUNG!" Me: "Tell her that. She's been doing it since she was two days old."

 

She can sit up in a cart by herself, too. I normally pad it, just in case she lunges at something--like trying to chew the metal edges--so she doesn't bonk herself. But she can sit fine. And I don't have an infant carrier because she firmly believes it's a baby torture device and screams her head off the whole time she's in one. I get a comment from SOMEONE every other week about it. The person usually goes away looking confused and miffed.

 

Or blankets. Everyone wants babies to have a heavy blanket, even when it isn't very cold. My DD, unlike my DS, gets overheated very easily. I can't tell you the times I've picked her up after a nap and found her little body wet through with sweat. So I'm careful to strip her down at the first signs of sweat beading across her head. Never mind that you can't tell that she normally has a onesie under a sleeper--she's my baby, I'm not an idiot, and it's obvious when she's too cold or too hot. I don't need grandmas clucking to me about getting her a blanket.

 

And "too squished"--if I could have a penny for every time someone disapproved of the way my baby *turned him or herself* because he or she looks "too squished," I'd be a rich woman. *shakes head* Yes, they look kind of pitiful rolled up in a little ball against someone's chest. But they're sleeping like that *because they want to*. and they spend nine months squished, so they're used to it.

 

Oh, and then there are the people who say I shouldn't LET my baby do things--like standing up or sitting up "too early" because clearly that's just so "bad." Guess what? I even let my DS TALK early.

 

Some things are flat dangerous. But for the most part, if babies are uncomfortable, they'll let you know. If they will only be happy being held like a football, or facing out, or cuddled against your chest, or on a hip, or in the cart, or in a carrier, or with their heads tilted back, or with their backs rounded into a baby-ball, they'll let you know. 9 times out of 10, if a baby looks happy, it IS.

 

I don't run over to other women who have babies contentedly lying in their carriers, looking blissfully into the middle distance, and start demanding that they take them to the doctor because there's clearly something wrong with a baby who will put up with that. If my kids were every kid, that would be the norm. But they're not.

[Miss Sherry]

I was at Walmart and this young girl was carrying a tiny baby, up right with the baby's head tilted all the way back, (think to young to hold his head up) Then in the check out line my dd was being loud and I said "quiet, the baby's sleeping" The young girl practically threw the baby into the carrier, zipped it up then threw the flap of the cover(it was one that you put over an infant carrier for colder weather) over the baby's face from where I was standing it was on the babies face and I thought not my baby, not my place to say anything...whatever. I am kind of thinking the mother was tired, not thinking etc. but something was just off, her attitude, lack of nurturing something is just bothering me maybe I should have something and took whatever this mother would say. okay thanks for letting me rant, vent, talk it out??

 

In my opinion , if a newborn babies head is tilted way back they are obviously not holding their head up. So yes, I would have been bothered by that. I would have tried to get the mothers attention and in a friendly/ casual way let her know. Maybe she couldn't see from the angle she was in relation to the baby.

 

I was in the Post Office once and there was a woman in line with a little boy that looked like he was about 5 years old. She kept slapping him on the head to get his attention. After she slapt him on the head a few times he started to cry and then she rudely scolded him for crying. This was just too much to ignore. I loudly told her to stop it. That didn't go over well, of course, but why should I care what someone that slaps a child in the head thinks of me.

[Miss Sherry]

I have the opposite problem. *shakes head* People always freak out about the way I care for my babies because they're EXTREMELY precocious but quite small. My baby will be sitting on my hip, looking around while I shop one-handed, and some woman will come shrieking up to me: "Can't you see that baby's too young to support its head?????" I give a flat look back. "What exactly do you think she's doing?" Lady: "Oh. Um. But she's too YOUNG!" Me: "Tell her that. She's been doing it since she was two days old."

 

She can sit up in a cart by herself, too. I normally pad it, just in case she lunges at something--like trying to chew the metal edges--so she doesn't bonk herself. But she can sit fine. And I don't have an infant carrier because she firmly believes it's a baby torture device and screams her head off the whole time she's in one. I get a comment from SOMEONE every other week about it. The person usually goes away looking confused and miffed.

 

Or blankets. Everyone wants babies to have a heavy blanket, even when it isn't very cold. My DD, unlike my DS, gets overheated very easily. I can't tell you the times I've picked her up after a nap and found her little body wet through with sweat. So I'm careful to strip her down at the first signs of sweat beading across her head. Never mind that you can't tell that she normally has a onesie under a sleeper--she's my baby, I'm not an idiot, and it's obvious when she's too cold or too hot. I don't need grandmas clucking to me about getting her a blanket.

 

And "too squished"--if I could have a penny for every time someone disapproved of the way my baby *turned him or herself* because he or she looks "too squished," I'd be a rich woman. *shakes head* Yes, they look kind of pitiful rolled up in a little ball against someone's chest. But they're sleeping like that *because they want to*. and they spend nine months squished, so they're used to it.

 

Oh, and then there are the people who say I shouldn't LET my baby do things--like standing up or sitting up "too early" because clearly that's just so "bad." Guess what? I even let my DS TALK early.

 

Some things are flat dangerous. But for the most part, if babies are uncomfortable, they'll let you know. If they will only be happy being held like a football, or facing out, or cuddled against your chest, or on a hip, or in the cart, or in a carrier, or with their heads tilted back, or with their backs rounded into a baby-ball, they'll let you know. 9 times out of 10, if a baby looks happy, it IS.

 

I don't run over to other women who have babies contentedly lying in their carriers, looking blissfully into the middle distance, and start demanding that they take them to the doctor because there's clearly something wrong with a baby who will put up with that. If my kids were every kid, that would be the norm. But they're not.

Hey, Mom of 4 month old plus other child, go to BED and get some sleep before that baby wakes you up early in the morning.

You are probably up trying to destress from caring for children, working etc. etc. ..... But go to bed or before you know it that baby will be up. :sleep: This should be you. Eyes closed, in bed. :sleep::001_smile:

[Reya]

Hey, Mom of 4 month old plus other child, go to BED and get some sleep before that baby wakes you up early in the morning.

You are probably up trying to destress from caring for children, working etc. etc. ..... But go to bed or before you know it that baby will be up. :sleep: This should be you. Eyes closed, in bed. :sleep::001_smile:

 

I'm waiting for the water to warm up!!! And then I'm going to work in bed for a couple of hours. And THEN I'm going to sleep.

 

Water warm! Here I go!

[Miss Sherry]

I'm waiting for the water to warm up!!! And then I'm going to work in bed for a couple of hours. And THEN I'm going to sleep.

 

Water warm! Here I go!

I'm curious, if you don't mind saying, what kind of work do you do ? Are you a writer ?

[Reya]

I'm curious, if you don't mind saying, what kind of work do you do ? Are you a writer ?

 

Yup. A terrible, corrupting novelist, in fact!

[Reya]

In my opinion , if a newborn babies head is tilted way back they are obviously not holding their head up. So yes, I would have been bothered by that. I would have tried to get the mothers attention and in a friendly/ casual way let her know. Maybe she couldn't see from the angle she was in relation to the baby.

 

This may be a dumb question, but does any baby not cry when they're uncomfortable? The shortest time imaginable with my two was/is the time between something they didn't like happening and the time that they started squawking.

 

Do some babies just not notice? Or not care?

 

Even if they didn't care, I wouldn't recommend a dangerous position, of course. Just wondering... :-)

[hillfarm]

Something that disturbs me is when a parent tries parenting in public when they obviously have not been doing it at home. So often in my community, we will be at the store, bank, etc. and a mother starts shouting at the child for misbehaving. The child is clearly unused to being corrected and often wildly oblivious to her screams. As I watch, I notice that the mothers are often glancing around the crowd as they are creating this ear-splitting ruckus. It's almost like they let little Johnny get away with bad behavior at home but now that they're out in public, they think they have to put on this act to prove to others they are such a strict, in-control parent. Often the shouting includes outrageous threats to life and limb that are most inappropriate and I hate to witness such displays, let alone have to explain to my 10yo dd that no, the mom will probably not "rip her toddler's head off" when they get home.

 

My message to them is to forget it, they are not fooling anyone. It's obvious their children are unused to discipline, and clear from their shrieking that they are not used to providing it. Either go learn how to do it and practice it diligently at home, or forget it and save the rest of us from hearing loss, not to mention getting that sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs from having to view such dysfunction when we are unable to stop it.

 

And I agree, once I became a mother, I became everyone's mother. I want to protect, nurture, bandage, and teach all of them:D!

[FO4UR]

That's not nearly as scary as walking into the church nursery (After leaving your wee one for 30min....for the 1st time ever....) and seeing a nursery worker holding YOUR PRECIOUS BABY with her head jacked back!!!:glare: She wasn't crying, but worse. The lady holding her said she was crying and holding her with her head back was the only thing that calmed her (as I grimaced.)

 

 

Today, I saw a van with a newborn carseat installed in the front passenger seat! I was actually hoping to see someone walk towards it b/c I will be up tonight praying for the baby who rides in that seat. That kind of thing is likely simple ignorance, but a certain death sentence should the driver even slam on the breaks/hit a tree/...anything that would make the airbag go off.

[Tree House Academy]

*head shaking moment*

Edited March 10, 2009 by Tree House Academy