M in Canada Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Almost everyday I am leaving out one or two things that I have scheduled. I barely make those up during the week. Science, history, and the school board's version of social are severely lacking. Should I give up? Sign them up to the best school in the area and decide this is God's way of showing me I should just start to try and work and augment our pitiful income? We will be moving closer to the only school I would feel remotely comfortable sending them to. I think they will take them for free; we obviously can't afford to even keep our house. I love being with them and the good moments. But I hate the times I yell in frustration and say "Why don't you think?" I have even said " Are you stupid? " I hate that. DO they not deserve better than a frustrated worried mom who is not disciplined enough to give them the education they deserve? Please help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 They're in second grade? And you are getting to reading, writing, and math every day? I don't think you need to send them to school for academic reasons. Now, you raise some other issues in your post that seem more significant. I'd work on figuring those out first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M in Canada Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 They're in second grade? And you are getting to reading, writing, and math every day? I don't think you need to send them to school for academic reasons. Now, you raise some other issues in your post that seem more significant. I'd work on figuring those out first. Yes, We do reading, writing and math every day. Is that enough? Does it get easier to get more done as they get older? Most of my frustration stems from thinking I have to get this done and do the next thing and time is running out and will they get outside to play? I do apologize and work on my temper. I think it flairs up once a day at least though. The money thing is more of an issue if it actually stops coming in. If my husband doesn't get another job after he is done the one he is working on now then I will have to do something. Our landlord is ready to help us, but I don't think he would do it if we don't do everything possible to make an income. I don't think I can make an income and homeschool and take care of the little ones. But of course that is in the future and I can't do anything when it is all still in "what if?" stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 My schedule at home is not at all what the schedule in a school would be - and I am grateful for that. With two in second grade and a few younger than that, are your expectations too high for what you can accomplish in a day? I NEVER try to do science and history on the same day (unless it is a combined activity). I prefer to focus on one of them at a time. We do history for a while, then do science for a while, then switch back again. It allows us to focus our time and energies, so we don't feel like we are only scratching the surface of a topic. Frustration in one area of our lives never seems to compartmentalize itself - it always seeps into other areas, and often is reflected in our interactions with our children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I posted before, but it didn't go through... I also go through periods where it seems I don't get to everything. When this happens I put whatever was missed on first the following day. This way no one subject falls too far behind. Then I reevaluate when the schedule eases up and double up lessons if necessary to get back on track for the year. It rarely takes long to catch up this way. It will work out! You are still your kids' best teacher. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Yes, We do reading, writing and math every day. Is that enough? Yes, particularly with such small children, yes it's enough. :001_smile: Does it get easier to get more done as they get older? It does get easier. My oldest 2, 11 and 12, can study their history and science on their own with some guidence from me. Also, as TWTM says, by middle school the children are usually able to spend an hour working independantly for every 10 minutes you spend working with the child. BUT, they need to be able to read well, write well, and know their math in order to be able to work independantly. Most of my frustration stems from thinking I have to get this done and do the next thing and time is running out and will they get outside to play? I do apologize and work on my temper. I think it flairs up once a day at least though. Actually, getting outside to play is as important as the 3-R's. A lot of science or nature study is learning through exploration. You can also pick up interesting, easy, science books at the library to leave around the house. The same goes for history, I've found my children pick up a lot by browsing through books I've carelessly left on various tables. :D Also, I've found homeschooling goes in seasons. Sometimes we struggle to get school done each day, and don't seem to be accomplishing much. Other times everything flows together easily and we'll go for months or years at a steady pace. My goal is to make hay while the sun shines, and not worry too much when the sun doesn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie in tx Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I'm not getting everything done either. We just started back after a VERY LONG break. Last week, we did history, geography and literature. My 7 yo did phonics and FLL. This week, we are finishing last week's TOG and adding math for the two eldest, FLL for my 10 yo, and phonics for my 5 yo. Next week, I am adding math for my 7 yo. Hopefully, I will also add science for the two eldest and writing for them as well. Right now, it's just the season I am in. When mine were younger, we didn't get much done at all. I'm still having to remediate my 13 yo in math because we didn't get it done earlier in her schooling career. So, if you get math, phonics, and a read aloud or two done, then I think you're doing well. hugs, I know it can be hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Aw. You need a hug! :grouphug: Stick to the basics. I second not to try history and science in the same day. When they are in higher grades, that can change. When you have all the extra stress and you are feeling pressured to "get this done" and "get to the next thing" and if you are seeing your day as a list, you are much more likely to blow your cool. I encourage you to take some quiet time and think of some ways to reduce your feelings of stress so that they don't transfer to the school scene. Love those children, DO work on your "to-do" list each day, but make the list serve you, no the other way around. One thing that helped me when I was struggling with expectations of children, if that is a challenge, was to take one subject per day and lay out what I expected and work on that. After that, add in another subject per day and so on. They understand what you want and require. I hope that some of this helps. I know all too well how to apologize to my son for slipping up similarly to you. For me, I can also add in a cup of tea in my day (the liquid, sipping kind, out of a cup on a saucer) and it reminds to me be nice and enjoy the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Well first of all, you have a whole lot of littles. That is going to take a tremendous about of time and energy every day. And that's okay, because they are only little once and you need to enjoy this time as much as possible. As far as school, I read in one of Mary Pride's books that she considers what most publishers put in science and social studies as just twaddle (her word). That has always stuck with me and really relieved me of much guilt about getting it all done. I now won't even consider doing either of those subjects until 3rd or 4th grade (basically when they can read fairly well independently). Basically until then, we do math, bible, and whatever grammar/phonics/writing activities I feel are appropriate. The other stuff is much easier when they are older because they are capable of reading more on their own and don't need mom to "teach" them everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Almost everyday I am leaving out one or two things that I have scheduled. I barely make those up during the week. Science, history, and the school board's version of social are severely lacking. Should I give up? Sign them up to the best school in the area and decide this is God's way of showing me I should just start to try and work and augment our pitiful income? We will be moving closer to the only school I would feel remotely comfortable sending them to. I think they will take them for free; we obviously can't afford to even keep our house. I love being with them and the good moments. But I hate the times I yell in frustration and say "Why don't you think?" I have even said " Are you stupid? " I hate that. DO they not deserve better than a frustrated worried mom who is not disciplined enough to give them the education they deserve? Please help. I had the SAME problem and I was/am a shouter, too. I was using Sonlight which has you do everything everyday. I switched to the WTM schedule. I get it done. I also committed to a start time and a finish time. It's been a game changer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candleinaustin Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I wish I had done more story telling in the younger years. My daughter is in 4th grade now and for the last few years I was a real box checker, that was before I discovered WTM. I wish I could go back and just read with her and explore classic beautiful tales and folk stories. Your littles are at a magical age, maybe try and explore that more and try to lay off the heavier things until later. Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe it's the material your using and not you that is causing the frustrations. Maybe it's just not a good fit. I say, get some wonderful stories and read read read to them. Sure wish I could go back and do that and see the wonder in her eyes instead of doing so many workbooks and checking off this and that. And, hang in there, you did the right thing in posting. Sometimes, I'm too afraid to just come out and tell things like they are. Your post actually helped me today to feel better about my shortcomings and know I'm not alone in this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I found that by switching history/science etc to be one of the first things we did everything was getting done. What was happening is they were taking so long to do grammar, math etc it was pushing those subjects out. By doing them first, they culd take as long as they wanted to finish the rest. Coming from one yeller to another, that is something I am overcoming right now. I am trying to do the opposite, not only do I shut my mouth when I want to yell but I close my eyes too to cut everything off. I did it today and my 5 yr old said "uh oh, mom's praying again, she's mad" My every witty 9 yr old who is the one that ticked me off on the first place, says "don't say that out loud or I'll be praying she doesn't spank me" . It is such a hard thing to overcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 What province are you in? Sometimes having a different contact teacher can make a huge difference in the pressure you feel to cover government learning outcomes. If you're in BC, PM me for some advice. :grouphug: Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBH Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Your children are young. Do the basics (math, reading, writing), and then read history and science books to them 2 to 3 times per week. Otherwise you are doing too much. At that age school should be no more than 3 hours long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Yes, particularly with such small children, yes it's enough. :001_smile: It does get easier. My oldest 2, 11 and 12, can study their history and science on their own with some guidence from me. Also, as TWTM says, by middle school the children are usually able to spend an hour working independantly for every 10 minutes you spend working with the child. BUT, they need to be able to read well, write well, and know their math in order to be able to work independantly. Actually, getting outside to play is as important as the 3-R's. A lot of science or nature study is learning through exploration. You can also pick up interesting, easy, science books at the library to leave around the house. The same goes for history, I've found my children pick up a lot by browsing through books I've carelessly left on various tables. :D Also, I've found homeschooling goes in seasons. Sometimes we struggle to get school done each day, and don't seem to be accomplishing much. Other times everything flows together easily and we'll go for months or years at a steady pace. My goal is to make hay while the sun shines, and not worry too much when the sun doesn't. I really agree with coffeegal, here. relax. your kids are little. Do the 3 R's and all the rest is "enrichment". If you only do history or science once per week, that's okay. Do educational outside stuff. Go to local museums, nature preserves, zoos and the library. Have fun learning, put less pressure on both yourself and your kiddos. You can do it.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M in Canada Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Thanks . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Most of my frustration stems from thinking I have to get this done and do the next thing and time is running out and will they get outside to play? As others have stated, outdoor time is crucial & beneficial for kids (of all ages). I know my dd actually mentally processes a lot of our 'school' work when she's outside running around. When we're going through lessons, there's a lot of input but I don't always see immediate 'output' from her (she's a 'thinker/mulling over stuff' type of kid). But, giving her plenty of time to run around & play outside gives her time to process everything & I'm amazed at what she remembers from our lessons, what connections she has made, etc.... I guess the exercise, fresh air, & downtime give her the mental time & space to put all the puzzle pieces together, if that makes sense. So, in that respect, I consider outdoor play time crucial to our school time. You could also consider doing some of your lessons outside, even if it's just sitting out in the sun together reading a chapter from a book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I haven't found it gets easier as they get older, however I have found my expectations have become a lot more realistic about what I can and can't fit into an average day and stay sane! I did used to be a shouter I confess- really, my son was most challenging in his resistance to everything, but I have learned to handle it better over time. My direction in homeschooling is to simplify, simplify, simplify- better to do what we do do, well, than try and do too much and fall in a heap. Yes there are many things I am not going to get around to teaching them that I wish I could- including some things they may well learn in school that they won't learn with me- however the overall benefits of homeschooling are obvious in this family so I don't concern myself too much. I think its important to have a good "tone" to most days, so that life is rolling along fairly happily, even if there are challenges- a stressed out mum sets a bad tone for the whole family. I think that's a priority so I do what I need to do to keep things in balance, including cutting out subjects and having an afternoon nap! I feel that if I am stressed out and the kids are not generally, overall pretty happy, who cares if they get straight A's? Who wants to remember their childhood with a stressed out mum, sacrificing herself for the good of the family? Enjoy your kids, have fun, and have a routine and cover the basics. Your kids are young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Hugs to you a million times over from a "BTDT"-mom about the stressing and yelling. Years ago when my dd was little I was much the same. It can be overcome, but things don't change overnight so don't be too hard on yourself. I'd work on reducing your stress level 1st - sounds like there are things seemingly caving in from all directions on you. I totally agree w/ Peela's comments above. It's not a pretty lesson to learn the hard way. Love on them, enjoy them, and remember why you set out to homeschool in the 1st place. Inspire them to love learning. A child's brain cannot physically think the same way, or learn effectively, when they are stressed or fearful. I don't say that to inflict guilt on you - but rather in the hopes that it will help. If you have to give the kids a break and call up dh or a friend in tears in the middle of the school day - do it. Step outside and scream (so long as you're in a rural area and only you know if your kids are sensitive to this scaring them or not). I wish so much that I could convey what's in my heart after reading all of this - I'm sitting here crying! :grouphug: As for stressing about a huge to-do list of curriculum, you all hit the nail on the head for me too! I recently made up a huge (it's like 3 or 4 feet long) checklist to make sure we do X number of lessons in ea. subject per day or week to make sure we're done by the target date. It's not working. I can't make such young children double up on so many things all at once, with curriculum crowding out natural enjoyment and fun. I will just go at it with commitment and do my best, but I can't ask of them what I have been. Thanks for the reality check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 (edited) One thing that helps me (this is a very new idea) is having some "homework". "Okay, school is over for today, but before we go to sleep we need to go over your flashcards and read this story. PS has homework, so why should I have it all done by the end of our school day? And about history and science and music... very sparse information is needed. Once every 2 weeks or so should work just fine. And just so you know you are not alone... sometimes 3 weeks goes by with no history or science. Sometimes one read aloud a day is all we get for both. Every once in a great while we do everything scheduled, but it is rare. About the "Are you stupid?": At this age it is commonn for kids to forget everything that they have learned on some days. It is just the way their brains are wired. I have come to accept it and not worry that I am doing something horribly wrong. Learning math facts seem to undermine the rest of our work... This is the thread that really helped me to calm down. :O) Edited January 21, 2009 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 What I've learned in the last 3 yearsand have written down for myself. Prioritize. Determine which subjects are most important at this point and allow the rest to be extras that you throw in as you're able. Center yourself. Read books about discipline from varying viewpoints (positive discipline, punishment based, etc.) and find what you and your dh feel most comfortable with that you will be consistent with. Consistency is your best friend, it is the only thing that will yield results. Make time to do something for yourself everyday, no matter how small, take care of yourself. Some like to send the kids to their rooms for quiet/reading time each day for a period of time so that they have time to themselves. I recommend not spending that time online but do something you've wanted to. Make or spend time with friends. Everyone needs to laugh and have someone to share the good, bad and ugly moments with...a person who 'gets' you. Establish a routine that is agreeable to all parties and be consistent with it. Wake up, breakfast, chores, school, break in-between subjects, school, lunch and then free time. If you don't have a chore schedule, create a simple one for your younger kids. Everyone needs to know what is expected of them but this falls inline with having a solid discipline approach. Establish boundaries where needed with outside parties (i.e. phone calls being answered by answering machine, stay offline during certain hours, no visitors family or otherwise during 'school', etc.) Be accepting of yourself. No one is perfect, we ALL have faults and horrible days just do your best and forgive yourself and others where needed and ask for forgiveness as well. This is my reminder list, I hope it helps in some small way. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.