battlemaiden Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I want to cry that I'm only hearing it now. He is 72. He has always been the strong silent type. He doesn't do emotions...at least not well. But I think age has softened him and he got on a roll tonight and we walked down memory lane while I ironed and we drank wine. He regrets that we didn't spend more time with our extended family growing up. He was so close to all his aunts and cousins during WWII. He also told me things that explained so much of his personality- he didn't see his father for three years as a child because of the war. I love him more tonight. I just needed to share. Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julpost Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 What a beautiful gift! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 of his time and his memories. My father has forgotten so much from his past, and I am very thankful for the times we spent together talking about it before his memory slipped. Even now, when he can't remember what happened in the morning, he can still sometimes remember the names of all his grandparents neighbors in the 1940s. Funny how to brain works. Love on him a lot, Jo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-FL Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Be sure to write it down while it's fresh in your memory. Maybe you could get him to tell stories on either video or audio so you could keep them & in his voice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I know some of my mom's childhood not even 1/2 of it though. She was a child during the War in Germany. She said she is writing it all down. I know she talked about hiding in the woods and being really scared...bombs hitting their building. And she was very little at the time. I guess nothing could take away those memories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 What an awesome thing to hear! I agree, write as much down as you can. Having lost my mom at 41, and my dad just this month at 52, I wish we'd had more opportunities to do just that...talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Oh, Jo, that's marvelous! Do write down *everything* you remember right away. And also any questions that come to mind, so you can ask the next time he's in a talking mood. (If your kids have a tape recorder, or if you can video it, all the better.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I sat down with my parents several years ago and asked them lots of questions (actually, once we started, they added lots and I didn't have to ask anymore) about their youths and families. I started gently, just asking names of relatives, because there was alcoholism on both sides, and verbal abuse. They would never admit to that, of course. Anyway, it was so helpful in understanding them, but it was also so precious to me because I can pass down our family's history to my kids now. I agree, write it down, and love on him a lot. My own df was evacuated from Liverpool to Wales and lived 3 years apart from his mom and sister. He has great stories, about a UXB that came thru the roof, for example, that I always heard as "stories," but I am old enough now to appreciate how he must have felt and feel compassion for that little boy. Also, I think it would be wonderful if all of us took some time to write down our own stories--I journal occasionally, and it is wonderful to look back and see my life as I saw it then, and see it also as I can now. Giving our kids their family legacies is important, and oral or written history can be quite a gift, even if the history is not a happy one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Yes, write it down NOW! About 15 years ago I got a written version of my dad's story, going all the way back to his parents and grandparents. It's a very precious written work to have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 What a precious gift for both of you. I tried to get my dad to share, especially after he was diagnosed with cancer, but he never got around to it. I think to do so would have been to acknowledge the elephant in the room (the fact that he was going to die.) My older siblings seem to know more about him and his life. By the time I came around (there is a large age gap between my older siblings and I), he was too busy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 If I may be so bold, I would suggest giving him - and the rest of your family - a memory journal. My mother gave my grandmother The Story of a Lifetime a few years ago, and it was so wonderful for all of us to be able to read while sitting with her before she passed away this spring. It is a directed journal, that asks specific questions and provides space for the person to reflect on their memories of that topic. Family history, particularly from the individual family members, is an invaluable gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 If I may be so bold, I would suggest giving him - and the rest of your family - a memory journal. My mother gave my grandmother The Story of a Lifetime a few years ago, and it was so wonderful for all of us to be able to read while sitting with her before she passed away this spring. It is a directed journal, that asks specific questions and provides space for the person to reflect on their memories of that topic. Family history, particularly from the individual family members, is an invaluable gift. This would be pushing my luck! He is cut from the cloth of people that doesn't talk. It took wine, two weeks hanging out with his grandchildren, and knowing he is leaving to go home today to loosen him up! Video taping would put him over the edge. I am writing things in my personal journal today. When I told my oldest son some of the highlights this morning he was so thrilled know, but a little disappointed he didn't get to be a part of the discussion. I am going to ask him to send me an address or two or three of cousins he said he wished our family could get to know. The moral of the story? Family history, legacy if you will, matters! Thanks for all your kind words. Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Yes, write it down now! I sat with my paternal grandmother one summer and she told me tons and TONS of family stories. I even taped them - then taped over the tapes later, after I'd recorded the info. Now I so wish I had her voice on tape telling those stories.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I am glad you got to have that chat with your Dad. Happy New Year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I'd want it on video, kinda like a documentary...to share with my children as they grow up....What a special time of your life! Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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