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How to Politely Kick Someone Off a Team?


JumpyTheFrog
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I'm the captain of three adult rec sports teams. In the past I have only not invited people back for future seasons if they were total jerks to other players. I now have some players I don't want to invite back for the spring. Some missed 3/4 of the games (without telling me before registering), and one no-showed three times. Those will be easier to kick off the teams. Another player is a ball hog. There are a few that I don't really want to invite back because their skill level is so much lower than the rest of us. Lest I sound like a jerk, I have really given many people a chance without seeing them play, and it has reached the point that I am on three teams that lose almost every single game. (Plus I'm on another team, where I'm not captain, that can even lose 15-0!) How do I words things if these players ask to come back in the spring? I don't have to win every game, but it's disheartening to lose 4-5 days per week for months at a time.

ETA: Some of the players with the skills gaps haven't played since they were kids, one didn't start until his 50s, one is in his 60s in an over-30 league, and the goalie has bad knees and leg problems that prevent him from doing his job well most games.

Edited by JumpyTheFrog
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  • JumpyTheFrog changed the title to How to Politely Kick Someone Off a Team?

Oh man.

I honestly don’t think there is a polite way. If it was me I would find myself a better team I could join and just quit those. I know you are too involved with running them to do that but that is what I would do. 

There should be a way to do this. What you are wanting is reasonable and makes sense. I just don’t think there is. You just are going to look like a jerk I think. 

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I don't know how rec sports works.   Are there usually try outs but you haven't required them?  If that is the case, I would just say you are having too many apply to be on the team and you are now going to hold try outs.   If that isn't how it works, I think you are stuck with either leaving or coming across as not so nice.

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Here rec leagues have placement clinics where coaches drill and get together to talk & try to even out the talent on teams. Coaches are all volunteers. Everyone gets placed on a team. Once you’re on a team, you can return to that team if you want to or go back through the clinic again. In some instances, a team will sign up as a unit & they don’t do the placement clinic unless they want to add players. 

ETA- if there haven’t ever been tryouts, I don’t think you can kick people off for not being good players.  Competitive leagues can do that, but Rec leagues are for fun. 

Edited by TechWife
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21 minutes ago, scholastica said:

Can you just pull the best and reliable players from the 3 teams and combine them into one? Then just play for 2 teams. Honestly, 4 teams is a lot playing of anything, anyway.

This seemed like the best idea to me too, but as I got to thinking about it, if the leagues are on different days or have other different eligibility characteristics, OP might not be able to combine.  The Tuesday team members might not want or be able to join a Friday team.  Or if one team is mixed men/women but the other is an all women's league, the men couldn't combine into the ladies league team.  

If you are allowed to have try outs or some other selection criteria that makes it easier... otherwise it's probably easier to quit and find a better team to join.  😬

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I would see about splitting the teams into "beginner" and advanced. Rec league sports are usually open to everyone and are non competitive. It's frustrating to be on a team with mismatched skill levels, but if the league is truly open to all, then you really can't kick people out for not be good enough. 

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I think as above you need to structure the teams according to skill level and get them entered in the right league for their level. I want to play tennis but this is one of the things that makes me hesitate, not being “good enough”. People should be able to play sports for fitness even with lower skill levels they just need to be accurately ranked and matched to avoid frustration.

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