Need advice: starting a Co-Op

[MommaOfalotta]

We’ve belonged to the same co-op for about 12-13 years and I’m considering leaving it and starting something else. One of the main issues why we are leaving is that leadership is not drawing a hard line theologically on some extreme issues popping up with new members.

Starting out we will need to be small, just getting together for things like field trips, projects, maybe some parent led classes etc. I just feel confused on how to start it. One of the main issues being how do we get the word out to *likeminded* people. Our county has had a huge homeschooling boom with the only current co-ops having long waiting lists. So I know if I were to make this a legit co-op right off the bat I’d have no problem getting a ton of new members. But I really want to be more intentional and selective. Problem is many of the people I’d like to have are already invested in another co-op. And I worry about opening the doors to new people just yet. 
 

also when you’re planning on having your co-op be a little mix of everything, how do you go about planning that. Do you recruit people and then plan it together? Do you start with some form of an idea/plan and then invite friends?

The prep I’ve done so far: decided on a name, made a Facebook group for easy communication, made a list of possible members, field trips, subjects, class ideas etc. 

ideally I’d like there to be a membership. An agreeing to certain foundational points of theology, but with something starting off this casual it seems like membership is more formal. I’m overthinking a lot of this 😆 

so any tips/advice/experience? Dos and donts? 
 

*(also I wouldn’t even require everyone to be of the same denomination, I’m absolutely fine with disagreeing on a wide variety of secondary issues, but there are some big concerns with our current co-op so I’d draft a statement of beliefs to protect against that.)

[Carrie12345]

So, we went big right off the bat. IME, having a formal structure in place reduces looky-loos and increases volunteer commitment.

Advertising needs to use precise wording. Membership for us required signing agreement to our mission, our statement, and our rules.

Being available to openly and honestly answer questions with kindness is important. “We welcome X.”  “We are committed to Y.” “We’re unable to accommodate Z.”  
Not “We don’t want/accept/allow your A, B, or C.” Clear, but not rude. Circles overlap. Bridges matter.

[ScoutTN]

Agree with written specifics and application/membership.

Locally, the tutorials here are insured through the state home education association so everyone has to join. 

Do you have a location? 
Schedule?

 

 

[Shelydon]

Just be aware of how much time running a co-op takes.  IME, 20 or more hours each week to keep it afloat.

[fairfarmhand]

MY friend and I did this. We started with a handful of families who were on the same page with us and then asked those families if they knew others who were interested. 

We had a list of criteria for families who would:

1. Take it seriously as a commitment. (didn't want people who were gonna flake out constantly)

2. Were on the same page as far as what they wanted;

     a. Somewhat academically minded but did not wish to outsource the classes. (so doing science experiments were good, but nobody wanted to teach           everyone else's high school biology class and be responsible for that)

     b. Were hoping for enrichment and social connections.

     c. Wished for more structured classes vs. park day/craft day.

3. Would participate in leading or helping. (not a drop off activity for children) 

 

We did a twice a month for 2 hours a session time commitment.  1st and 3rd Thursday. Never moved it to a different day, even if only a few families can participate. We will cancel but not move it. 

Do not think that membership should be less formal. Start with what you want long term. So yes, if a statement of faith/shared theology is important, it's best to state that up front. If a dress code will be an issue, it's best to start that from the beginning. For the groups I'm involved in, we don't require everyone to be that particular Christian thing, but we do expect everyone to accept that here's the foundation. Co-op is not the place to air your theological issues.  If you can participate and not gripe about the differences, fine, otherwise, find another place. 

[itsheresomewhere]

My tips-

Make sure the rules are clearly written out.

Have a behavior plan for not just the kids but the adults.  

Edited September 13, 2023 by itsheresomewhere

[catz]

I worked with and was on the board of a co-op for many years.  Honestly it is so much work.  It was a secular inclusive group so a bit different.  But there were behavioral contracts.

I would start with a field trip/play group for a year and see how that is going and see how your closest crew is feeling about it.  

My experience is no matter how good your intentions are and how clearly things are spelled out, as a group grows there are more sources of conflict.  You'd think it a bunch of homeschool parents, you'd get parents that understand they may need to be more hands on if there were issues, people would get angry, threaten law suits, say things that were not indicicated that clearly were, etc.  Everyone I know who has been involved burned out at some point or another. 

On that note, I would not start something organized without parents with kids all the time without liability insurance and background checking your leadership.

[Heartstrings]

Do expect that the group you are leaving will be unhappy about it.  Expect gossip, lies, painting you as a bad person, saying you have lost your faith and are no longer a Christian at best, being called a heretic at worst, assuming your old co-op is religious.  It may not happen, but prepared.  There’s a strong chance if it and it’ll be easier if you’re prepared.  I have seen it several times when someone leaves a group and tries to make a different group, especially if the new group is more open than the old one.  

[Not_a_Number]

I think being selective is tricky. If you tell lots of people about it, and then you have to turn lots of people down, that breeds bad feeling. But if you start out with a long list of rules, you might also have trouble attracting a group. 

What I've mostly done is run things with a small group of people and only invited people to it when they seemed like-minded. (I've told people about it in other circumstances -- I just don't advertise unless they seem interested.) 

We've only done this for a few years, and we've definitely had some conflict -- you should expect that no matter what you do. 

I think having explicit discussion of what's bothering people and what's working for them and what they need from the group is probably more important than writing it down. 

[prairiewindmomma]

6 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

Do expect that the group you are leaving will be unhappy about it.  Expect gossip, lies, painting you as a bad person, saying you have lost your faith and are no longer a Christian at best, being called a heretic at worst, assuming your old co-op is religious.  It may not happen, but prepared.  There’s a strong chance if it and it’ll be easier if you’re prepared.  I have seen it several times when someone leaves a group and tries to make a different group, especially if the new group is more open than the old one.  

Yup. Some version of this.  You say that you're leaving because people aren't excluding new members who don't line up with your theology---which I assume means that the new kids are either gay, trans, Mormon, Catholic, pants wearers, hair cutters, meat eaters, or the like---that isn't something that is likely to go over smoothly. Any time you start a new exclusive group, you need a core healthy group of people to begin with, and whomever doesn't transition over with you is going to look at you askance hereafter.  I have been on the other side of this---friends left and wanted me to join in the leaving---and when I didn't it caused a lot of hurt feelings, on both sides. Making a loyalty call like that is.....rough.

Edited September 13, 2023 by prairiewindmomma

[Heartstrings]

1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Yup. Some version of this.  You say that you're leaving because people aren't excluding new members who don't line up with your theology---which I assume means that the new kids are either gay, trans, Mormon, Catholic, pants wearers, hair cutters, meat eaters, or the like---that isn't something that is likely to go over smoothly. Any time you start a new exclusive group, you need a core healthy group of people to begin with, and whomever doesn't transition over with you is going to look at you askance hereafter.  I have been on the other side of this---friends left and wanted me to join in the leaving---and when I didn't it caused a lot of hurt feelings, on both sides. Making a loyalty call like that is.....rough.

I’ve seen it the other way to, leaving a very religious group to start a more inclusive one.   That got ugly.  

[prairiewindmomma]

19 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

I’ve seen it the other way to, leaving a very religious group to start a more inclusive one.   That got ugly.  

Yup. It still feels like a loyalty call.

[Heartstrings]

33 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Yup. It still feels like a loyalty call.

Absolutely.  I don't know that I've heard that specific term before, but it's perfect. 

[prairiewindmomma]

I think anytime you go through breaking (creating an in-group and an out-group from a previous collective), it’s painful. It’s a very different experience than bridging (joining two pre-existing otherwise separate groups). 
 

Forming a new group requires the loyalty of the group members to the group and going through the forming and storming phases of developing the group is just rougher….there tends to be a tendency to other those that didn’t join the new group (or against those that left). 
 

From a group dynamics perspective, totally normal and expected…living through that with kids who have friends who don’t hang with them anymore…rough.

[MommaOfalotta]

For some clarification, we are leaving because of disagreements on foundational issues. These aren’t secondary issues. I’m not sure how to take some of these replies but I’m going to assume the best. 
 

we met with our pastor last night to get his advice and he agreed and said he would be leaving as well. I have no hard feelings against the majority of the people there, they are wonderful and love the Lord. I have no doubt we will still be friends long after. 
 

we are starting a new group that will be casual and small at the start, but United on foundational theological points. If it grows organically then we will take other things into consideration, but preserving the theological integrity of the group will be our priority. Again I am *not* talking about secondary issues.
 

I’m mostly looking for tips on how to plan/structure that. I will decide on a schedule of meeting together, but need to plan our events/what we will be doing those days. That and how to best go about finding likeminded people was my main questions. 

[Melissa in Australia]

I don't even know what foundational issues mean. Is it  regional specific terminology? 

[MommaOfalotta]

2 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

I don't even know what foundational issues mean. Is it  regional specific terminology? 

Referring to types of doctrine in Christianity. Foundational are non negotiables. Then there are secondary issues, while still important we can agree to disagree, then tertiary issues. Lastly issues of Christian liberty. 

[Melissa in Australia]

Just now, MommaOfalotta said:

Referring to types of doctrine in Christianity. Foundational are non negotiables. Then there are secondary issues, while still important we can agree to disagree, then tertiary issues. Lastly issues of Christian liberty. 

Must be an American thing. 

 

[MommaOfalotta]

4 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Must be an American thing. 

 

It may have more to do with denomination than region. I’m aware of it outside of American anyway. 

[prairiewindmomma]

32 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

I don't even know what foundational issues mean. Is it  regional specific terminology? 

It’s usually a Southern Baptist thing. 

[MommaOfalotta]

Just now, prairiewindmomma said:

It’s usually a Southern Baptist thing. 

We aren’t southern Baptist but it’s also common among varied forms of reformed Protestants. Presbyterians, even non denominational, etc. 

[freesia]

3 hours ago, MommaOfalotta said:

For some clarification, we are leaving because of disagreements on foundational issues. These aren’t secondary issues. I’m not sure how to take some of these replies but I’m going to assume the best. 
 

we met with our pastor last night to get his advice and he agreed and said he would be leaving as well. I have no hard feelings against the majority of the people there, they are wonderful and love the Lord. I have no doubt we will still be friends long after. 
 

we are starting a new group that will be casual and small at the start, but United on foundational theological points. If it grows organically then we will take other things into consideration, but preserving the theological integrity of the group will be our priority. Again I am *not* talking about secondary issues.
 

I’m mostly looking for tips on how to plan/structure that. I will decide on a schedule of meeting together, but need to plan our events/what we will be doing those days. That and how to best go about finding likeminded people was my main questions. 

When I started a co-op with a friend we used a book by Carole Topp that led us through the process. That was very helpful. 
 

It’s hard to address your like-minded issue without knowing the issue and I get why you aren’t sharing it. I know some people whose non-negotiable/foundational issues are actually ones that the Christian church has debated for years. I think you will need an interview process and a statement of faith which is super clear on your foundations. You will most likely need to work on a word of mouth or even an invitation way of growth. 

[MommaOfalotta]

18 minutes ago, freesia said:

When I started a co-op with a friend we used a book by Carole Topp that led us through the process. That was very helpful. 
 

It’s hard to address your like-minded issue without knowing the issue and I get why you aren’t sharing it. I know some people whose non-negotiable/foundational issues are actually ones that the Christian church has debated for years. I think you will need an interview process and a statement of faith which is super clear on your foundations. You will most likely need to work on a word of mouth or even an invitation way of growth. 

Thank you! Yes the OP was more about getting our co-op off the ground and I feel the mention of why we’re leaving has kind of side railed the post. 
 

word of mouth is what I’ve been leaning towards so I think you’re right! 

[Not_a_Number]

On 9/14/2023 at 10:48 AM, MommaOfalotta said:

I’m mostly looking for tips on how to plan/structure that. I will decide on a schedule of meeting together, but need to plan our events/what we will be doing those days. That and how to best go about finding likeminded people was my main questions. 

I can't answer how to structure your day, because I'm not sure what you'd like to do. But in terms of finding like-minded people . . . given that this is likely to be contentious, I'd stick to just chatting people up and telling those that seem plausible about the co-op. It's going to be a lot easier to get going if you're already starting with a group.