Helping kids stay safe on campus

[pgr]

Helping kids stay safe on campus has come up in discussions on another group, and it got me thinking.

Other than discussing situational awareness and general common sense, what are your thoughts - especially for those just starting college?

How do you help prepare a kid that grew up in a very small, rural town and is now starting school in a major metropolis? Or a kid that will be one of the few commuters and walking solo to parking at night? Or a student from another country that hasn’t had any “active shooter” drills at school (nor discussions at home) and likely comes from a different social culture? 

[ScoutTN]

All schools we visited provide campus security to make sure no one walks alone at night. Worth checking on. 
Also worth asking if any of those things are included in freshman orientation/welcome activities. 
 

I would take the student on a trip to the big city and practice some of the things - awareness/identifying potential hazards, riding public transportation, etc. 

International student. So much to learn. Must be overwhelming. I’d try to make sure they have good connections to the school’s support programs, including both adults and students. Other students who are 2+ years here may be the best resource. Connection to a family, a local mom of older teens or young adults would also be good. Lots of churches run these programs.

[pgr]

On 7/21/2023 at 11:35 AM, ScoutTN said:

All schools we visited provide campus security to make sure no one walks alone at night. Worth checking on. 
Also worth asking if any of those things are included in freshman orientation/welcome activities. 
 

I would take the student on a trip to the big city and practice some of the things - awareness/identifying potential hazards, riding public transportation, etc. 

International student. So much to learn. Must be overwhelming. I’d try to make sure they have good connections to the school’s support programs, including both adults and students. Other students who are 2+ years here may be the best resource. Connection to a family, a local mom of older teens or young adults would also be good. Lots of churches run these programs.

All great points, thank you @ScoutTN!

Has anyone bought their kid a personal alarm (like Birdie or similar)? We know one kid who is considering bringing pepper spray with her when she goes to college, but to me that feels like it could potentially cause more problems than actually help.

[ScoutTN]

Pepper spray, yes. Anything that goes in someone’s face/eyes will work.

Dd has had a personal defense course that was well done. A bunch of homeschooled teen girls and their moms took it together. Some gritty, hard things to hear, but real and helpful. Skills and practical how-to were also taught. 

[Roadrunner]

I am packing narcan. So many young kids have died from fentanyl overdose on campuses, I don’t think it can hurt having it in the room. Maybe in can save a life. 

[pgr]

20 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

Pepper spray, yes. Anything that goes in someone’s face/eyes will work.

Dd has had a personal defense course that was well done. A bunch of homeschooled teen girls and their moms took it together. Some gritty, hard things to hear, but real and helpful. Skills and practical how-to were also taught. 

That’s awesome, thanks. We should find a class like that here.

[pgr]

14 hours ago, Roadrunner said:

I am packing narcan. So many young kids have died from fentanyl overdose on campuses, I don’t think it can hurt having it in the room. Maybe in can save a life. 

Yes, absolutely!

[Momto6inIN]

My DD has pepper spray. It attaches to her key chain/ID holder and isn't very bulky. She bought it at the campus book store.

Our church denomination  youth group on campus also has an informal but often used policy where the young men make themselves available to accompany young women who need to walk places after dark alone. They're all on a GroupMe and my DD has used them several times.

[El...]

You might ask local libraries and campus student centers about self defense programs. I took DD15 to one called RAD which our library and a local church sponsored. It was a little antiquated but empowering and spurred some good discussions. It was a little bit... scared safe? Which I didn't love.

[chiguirre]

When dd's ship pulls in to foreign ports, they require junior enlisted to have liberty buddies. You're not allowed to go out into town alone. That seems like a decent idea for university first years when they go out at night. It's especially important if they're drinking. Dd's ship is in the yards in SF Bay and so she's spent a lot of time on the ferry and the BART exploring. At first, she didn't feel comfortable going out alone and always buddied up to go into the city. Now, that she's been there for a while, she feels more comfortable navigating alone. 

If your kid likes to run, I'd definitely get pepper spray. Dd has had pepper spray since she was 16 and jogging on the greenbelt near our house. It's not so much for human attackers as it is for loose, aggressive dogs and, in a pinch, coyotes or wild boar (those shouldn't be out during the day and if they are they're absolutely dangerous.) If your kid isn't a runner, have them carry their keys between their fingers and mentally go through the exercise of using it on an attacker's eyes. This was what they told us at my urban college orientation in 1986 and it's served me well there and in other dangerous places.

I've had to have the school/mass shooter discussion with new arrivals. There was a mass shooting in a mall in Texas about a month after my BIL, SIL and nephew arrived and I explained run/hide/fight. Make sure they know to always note the exits and think through an escape plan. I also warned them that some people think it's cool to open carry. It was an unpleasant conversation.

Edited July 27, 2023 by chiguirre

[73349]

If you live somewhere it's normal to leave doors unlocked (house, car, etc.), get your DC into the habit of locking things.

Drinking decreases people's situational awareness, reaction time, and motor coordination. Before choosing to drink, one needs to do some safety planning, coordinating with trustworthy people. (But I'd also make it clear that it's not at all necessary to drink in college; find the people who do volunteer work on Saturday mornings, such as an Alpha Phi Omega chapter, and you've found friends who are unlikely to get wasted on Friday nights.)

Be prepared to say no to requests, and don't let people guilt you into doing things you're not comfortable with. A stranger asking to borrow your phone, someone asking for money, people asking to stay with you for the weekend, a classmate asking to see your answers to the lab questions, etc., can be told no, and it's fine if they don't like it.

[Roadrunner]

I have a kid raised in the woods who didn’t see his first elevator until he was 10, so chose to go to the urban school. One thing I have been repeating like crazy is to not wander around Los Angeles alone. Everywhere you go, take friends with you. I am a little worried. 

Edited August 4, 2023 by Roadrunner

[Eos]

On 8/3/2023 at 9:22 PM, Roadrunner said:

I have a kid raised in the woods who didn’t see his first elevator until he was 10, so chose to go to the urban school. One thing I have been repeating like crazy is to not wander around Los Angeles alone. Everywhere you go, take friends with you. I am a little worried. 

This was us with oldest in Worcester, MA.  I warned him to not leave campus for the first year.  He was a WFR and actually found himself having to be a responder to dumb situations on campus itself, naturally, the city was fine.

[mommyoffive]

On 7/21/2023 at 10:35 AM, ScoutTN said:

All schools we visited provide campus security to make sure no one walks alone at night. Worth checking on. 
Also worth asking if any of those things are included in freshman orientation/welcome activities. 
 

I would take the student on a trip to the big city and practice some of the things - awareness/identifying potential hazards, riding public transportation, etc. 

International student. So much to learn. Must be overwhelming. I’d try to make sure they have good connections to the school’s support programs, including both adults and students. Other students who are 2+ years here may be the best resource. Connection to a family, a local mom of older teens or young adults would also be good. Lots of churches run these programs.

Wondereful idea!!! Doing a summer program could be a way to do that or even if you could just get there a few days early to do that, before school starts. 

[cintinative]

Not to scare anyone but just today on the news there was a report of a girl raped inside a dorm here. Apparently the rapist claimed he was an RA.  So they are saying to verify via student ID.  Of course people are wondering how he got in. So I guess another point is to never let anyone in after you. Even delivery guys. They can wait outside.

ETA: Apparently this is an off-campus dorm but still owned by the university. They are going through a housing crisis at present. Anyway, it is being reported that the security measures for this building are not as strong as that for the other dorm buildings on-campus. Because it was off-campus, the city police are investigating (not campus police).  

Edited August 25, 2023 by cintinative

[Kassia]

@cintinativethat's awful.  That poor girl.