Larger family morning routine?

[Nm.]

So I thought it would be a good place to ask this because most of my friends are not academically minded when it comes to homeschooling.

Do you get up early so you can give your kids a solid education?  I haven’t been routinely but I think it’s almost required at this point or there is just no way I can actually fit it all in.  By early I’m thinking around 4a/5a.  Maybe rest in the afternoon for a few minutes.  I need more hours to cook and clean.  I can’t function with disorder/chaos.  I can’t multifunction well.  I need time to pack a lunch for a picnic.  Time to read. Time to get laundry done.  Time to pray.  Time time time.  What’s your routine?

Also my children help out, but it’s not nearly enough and they need time to be kids!

Edited June 22, 2023 by Nm.

[freesia]

How large is large to you?  And what ages? I have 4.  My bff has 9.  We are both academically minded.  The first thing to realize is that you are working full time homeschooling particularly with a large family.  You have to start to think like a working outside the home mother.  In my home, my dh took over cooking twice a week and doing the grocery shopping.

I did not get up at 5 am bc I am not a morning person.  I often got up at 7 but wasn't productive--it just gave me time to myself.  Here's a sample schedule from when I had four under 14.  It's just off the top of my head.  Idk if it's what you were looking for.

8:00 wake up kids. Watch CNN news, Bible.  Then I go upstairs for my devotions/prayer and maybe to get dressed. Kids eat without me.

8:45 Read and 1/2 hour work time with the 8 year old.  Then cycle through all the kids for about 1/2 hour each. I tended to move laundry along in between meeting with kids. They weren't allowed to interupt me when I was meeting with another child.

11:00 Group time for shared history/science for the younger 3.  Read aloud. 

A little before 12:00 we would have a 5 minute clean up time (set the clock). Then each child had daily chores--swishing and wiping in the bathroom, scooping litter..

Lunch

1-2:00 Quiet time every single day. This is when I would read.  We kept this for a long long long time.  Probably until the youngest was 10.

2:00 Finish independent work, activities, play dates, whatever else.

Around 5--5 minute clean up and laundry folding. Before dinner chores (setting table, etc.)

Dinner then after dinner chores (washing dishes, loading, sweeping the floor)

We also had Weds. chores.  Everyone had a card with extra jobs like sweeping the stairs, cleaning out the car, carrying out the recycling, changing litter. The book Managers of their Home was really helpful for coming up with those lists.

Also important when the oldest was around fifth grade was to rarely make activities for the morning (or before 2:00).  It was tempting to schedule doctors appts then, but I finally had to decide that I had to keep "school hours."  We would rarely do playdates before around 2.  The exception was that I took my bff's younger ones to library storytime with my youngest, but my dh was able to watch the older ones bc he has Monday's off.

I also had early bedtimes for my kids--like 7:30 until they were around 9 or so.

The chores my kids did were not onerous timewise.  15 minutes daily did not impact their childhood.  The key when they were young was doing it all at the same time.  It got a lot harder as they got older to do that.

 

[Nm.]

My dh isn’t home much.  He grocery shops and takes care of the lawn-but that is about it (he truly doesn’t have time).  I was working per diem but I think I need to cut that way back as well.  Thank you!!!

[freesia]

56 minutes ago, Nm. said:

My dh isn’t home much.  He grocery shops and takes care of the lawn-but that is about it (he truly doesn’t have time).  I was working per diem but I think I need to cut that way back as well.  Thank you!!!

Yes, if you are working while trying to homeschool a large family, you are working two jobs. I would only do that if we really needed the money. (Once they are teens you may be able to do a bit more.)

[Slache]

My 6th grader gets up at 6 and does Math and Japanese with coffee before anyone gets up. My 4th grader gets up at 7:30 do do her reading. She has time to do it later, but likes free time.

We make and eat breakfast from 8-9, then clean up and do family subjects, then independant work.

[alysee]

I have 6 kids spanning in ages from 13yo-9 mo. Our schedule has naturally gotten later and longer because my kids need more sleep and they have more work. 

I am up with the baby and 5yo. 

We have breakfast at 8ish and then chores and get ready for the day. 

On a good day we start by 9. If the older kids are taking a long time with chores I will start school with my 5yo. 

School from 9ish to 12. We break for Lunch and then the older kids have science/history and assigned reading and the youngest two nap/quiet time. 

After that the kids are free to do what they want. In the evenings we have lots of activities.

 

 

 

[Nm.]

wow I don’t know how you are able to get that much school done between 9-12!  Maybe part of the equation is I want to be done by lunch (usually lunch is about 1p).  I try and start at least someone’s subjects by 7:30 if not earlier.  I also could never get nap time to work.   I need to figure out a better system 😬

Edited June 22, 2023 by Nm.

[alysee]

42 minutes ago, Nm. said:

wow I don’t know how you are able to get that much school done between 9-12!  Maybe part of the equation is I want to be done by lunch (usually lunch is about 1p).  I try and start at least someone’s subjects by 7:30 if not earlier.  I also could never get nap time to work.   I need to figure out a better system 😬

My big kids only have Math, Writing, grammar, reading & history/science. My big kids do all Subjects together. 

My big kids approximate schedule

09:30 - Math

10:15 - IEW

11:15 - Fix It Grammar

11:30 - Typing

One kid helps with Lunch each day.

After lunch is science/history and reading

 

[Nm.]

What do you use for history /science?

[alysee]

5 minutes ago, Nm. said:

What do you use for history /science?

We use Bookshark Science and we switch what we use for History/geography. We have also used unit studies in the past. 

[LauraClark]

It's summer and I'm not currently doing school which is the perfect time for me to provide my schedule and make believe that we stick to it and it's not just chaos sometimes 🙂

4-I get up (ok, I've really only been doing this for the week but it has been amazing to have some time to myself!)

5-kids up (early birds...), Breakfast, chores, etc

8ish-start with Bible and memory work

8:30-12- school (independent mostly for the older two while I work with the younger two and baby)

12-I read history or science during lunch

12:30-3(?)- finish with older kids

7-bed for them

8:30-bed for me

(Kids ages 11,9,6,3,baby)

[countrymum]

15 minutes ago, LauraClark said:

It's summer and I'm not currently doing school which is the perfect time for me to provide my schedule and make believe that we stick to it and it's not just chaos sometimes 🙂

I'll quote Laura to start;) 

6:00 me up to read Bible, start 1load wash or something similar and make breakfast

6:50 kids up for 7:00 breakfast with father right during and after breakfast we do a short (like 30 min) Bible/ morning time. (Memory Verse and rotate through 2 other things hymn, charàcter study, composer, poetry, picture study, Spanish, )

7:30-9:00 bigs (12 and 10) tidy up dress, personal Bible, chores, start school

During this time I do breakfast dishes, fix girls hair, tend to toddler and baby. At

8:00 I do phonics and start copywork with the 7 yr old (who has been helping with chores and getting dressed as well. He is an early bird so he may well have done this before 7)

8:30 is littles morning time we read a devotion, a picture book or 2 at least 1 goes with AYOPS theme and start some activity or project from A Year of Playing Skillfully (AYOPS)

9:00-10:00 is math time for everyone. I start with the oldest capping lessons at about 20 minutes as I finish each they go off to do the practice part of the lesson. If they don't get it in 20 ish min it gets dropped till afternoon or finished the next day. It doesn't do anyone any good to bang with math without understanding for much more than that;)

10:00 is either spelling with 9 (2-3X) or math with 4.5 (2X she loves her "school" so I fit it in where I can)

10:15 is writing or grammar with 2 oldest

10:45 is spelling 4X a week with oldest

11:00 is science with 7 yr old (he loves science. We're trying science in the beginning 3X a week) or phonics with 4.5 yr old (2-3X a week if we have time on Friday we do both science and phonics)

11:30-12:30 is finish up lunch prep (me) if I can fit in spelling with 7 yr old here great if not it happens in the afternoon

12:30 lunch

After lunch 4 oldest clear table, do dishes, sweep dining room, and tidy 1st floor from school and toddler play. I tend to baby and toddler move laundry extra and begin to nurse baby.

Then it's quiet hour. For the first 30 min 7 yr old reads to me and then I read to him (lit or a picture history book)

The second 30 min is history geography Bible module 3 from Simply Charlotte Mason. The 7 yr old is not required to be here except for geography 1X a week

 

3:30 is snack and either Art (2X) or an activity from AYOPS for anybody who wants to do a messier activity

 

Friday I don't do phonics with 7yr old or littles am time. We all do nature study instead either inside or outside. We have notebooks from SCM for this this year to make it less prep for me.

 

Oldest is dyslexic (but reads well now) and I use fairly teacher intensive material so there isn't as much independent work. The 2 oldest have science(I bought the mp3 files for oldest here to help) math drill, math practice, literature, activity with little sibling, Book of centuries, commonplace book, and extra history book that they do independently. 7 yr old is still plodding along at learning to read....it's slow steady work. 

Children are (in fall) 12, 10, 7, 4, 2, baby we use RightStart, All About Reading, All About Spelling, WriteShop (oldest 2), and Analytical Grammar (oldest 2), youngest does copywork from SCM.

We school September to mid May. Summer is phonics only and mandatory reading for those who can;) This is a new schedule for fall, but not too different from last year's except I am going to use a timer and clock more;) and history is in the afternoon.

 

[knitgrl]

We don't qualify as a large family, but circumstances this past year forced me to reevaluate some things, which perchance might be of help to you. Are there subjects you could care less about? I decided I could care less about spelling. Dd13 did AAS when she was younger. It is an excellent program, but kind of heavy on parent input. This past year, ds9 and dd8 got spelling workbooks. And it was fine. As a matter of fact, they will continue to do workbooks next year, even though they are not as good at the teacher-intensive AAS. Our state wants us to cover health. This was also covered by a workbook which needs hardly any input from me. Are there things that can be covered with a workbook or dropped entirely?

[Nm.]

@knitgrl I think I have it paired down to the minimum.  Their math is solid but quick to teach (math mammoth- making it work and it’s actually coming together fine).  English is quick to teach and solid (rod and staff).  Most do rod and staff spelling, 2 do AAS- but I do it with tile app& dry erase board.

The hard part is wanting to make sure

#1- my pre-k’r doesn’t get “leftovers” from me.  
#2 that they are eating well (food allergies). 
#3 dd6 gets a lot of attention & fun stuff (math games, messy projects,

#4 clean organized home (I have adhd so it’s a priority).

#5 read a loud a lot

#6 play board games with olders

#7 lots of one on one time with each (probably not on the same day)

#8 more time for DH

#9 prayer/bible time

#10 lots of outside time 

#11 field trips

#12 time for my interests

etc

I think if I cut out screens (like welltrainedmind 😂) & get up at 4ish/ go to bed by 9 I should have plenty of time.

 

[knitgrl]

Lots of people read aloud during meal times.

Board games -- perhaps set aside a specific day/time? Many things if they are not scheduled in our house do not get done, especially if it seems like something "extra."

Bible time for me is just a non-negotiable. It's the thing I do with coffee once I wake up. The school day does not start until I do that, even if I need to cut it down a bit because of things happening right away in the morning.

Cutting out screens is an excellent way to find extra time. 😊

[Momto6inIN]

I don't do early mornings. I get up around 7:30 whenever my body naturally wakes up and walk/pray while kids get their own breakfasts. I start laundry and get some kind of meat out to thaw for supper.

We do school from 9-12 and then take a long lunch break and play outside and I finish the laundry. Then at 2 when the 4 year old takes a nap we start again and usually go til 5. Well, the high schoolers and I go til 5. The younger kids have much less to do in the afternoon session. Then I start supper. After supper is piano practice and my time to do misc projects/tasks. My brain turns off around 9:30 when the kids go to bed and I read for pleasure til 10:30 bedtime.

When I was schooling 5 kids and had littles, I rarely fit in exercise. Now that several are graduated and the youngest is 4, I can leave her with the 11 and 15 year old while I go on a walk and it's doable.

Cleaning is something that only happens on Saturdays here. It just is what it is. I just can't do all the things. I decided long ago that prayer was first, then educating my kids, then providing nutritious meals. Making sure I had energy left at the end of the day to unwind/refresh and be able to connect with my husband is a higher priority for me than cleanliness. 

[macmacmoo]

I have four kids. I could not do rotate by subject. I need to work with one kid and do all their one on one things, and then move on to the next kid. I call the time I'm working with any kid study hall hours. If it's study hall and they aren't working one on one with me it's basically anything goes as long as it's not fun screens. There is some assigned reading, maybe one or two specific assignments but it has a rather unschool sort of feel.

One on One lessons i have a milk crate for each kid. It's filled with all sorts of things. I have three or four things I hit daily and the rest is what every strikes my mood. A math something, a reading something, a composition something,

Ours day is something like this:

Breakfast and morning chores

an hour with second oldest kid

an hour with second youngest kid

make lunch, eat lunch, clean up (I read from our group read aloud during lunch: currently doing build your library 😎

an hour with youngest

an hour with eldest

clean the house

free time

make dinner, eat dinner, clean up

 

 

[PeterPan]

On 6/23/2023 at 3:50 PM, Nm. said:

#10 lots of outside time 

#11 field trips

#12 time for my interests

etc

I think if I cut out screens (like welltrainedmind 😂) & get up at 4ish/ go to bed by 9 I should have plenty of time.

 

I don't have lots of kids, so you can take anything I say with a grain of salt. 🙂  On the matter of sleep, a tired mom is a grouchy/snippy mom, meaning you should just flat be honest about your sleep needs and work backward. Some people with ADHD need *more* sleep than the average bear and some need less. I'm a 6 ½ hour person when well, so I would have zero issues with your 9-4 sleep plan, fine, easy peasy. My very adhd oldest was a 9+ hour a night sleep person. You need to be realistic.

Observation two. ADHD parents often have ADHD kids, so I'm wondering how much issues like processing speed (which is commonly lower relative to IQ in ADHD kids) is playing a part in your scheduling quandries. Whatever you do has to work with your kids' realities. You can of course medicate, get them all organized and on a routine, etc. Just something to factor in.

Thing three, and this is just my experience, it's not so much about what you do as *when* you do it. You can't do everything at once but you can do most things eventually. I tend to divide the year into quarters or terms and I schedule to take advantage of those. I intentionally DON'T DO certain things during one term to keep it more sane, knowing I'm planning to pick it up the next term. Over the years I've used summer term, fall term, winter term, and May term. Those might work for you. I'm chunking up life and saying this is what we focus on now and next term we'll focus on other things. Field trips especially you might decide to do during certain terms and not other times. 

I'm very ADHD/idealistic and it took me a LOT of years to learn to be very pragmatic. I learned I needed to work backward: this is the number of hours, this is what we can get done in that time, the rest has to wait till another quarter. And I had to curb back my enthusiasm and be very brutal with myself. 

Do what you want. I know moms who knock themselves out doing tons of stuff and LOVE it. It's between you and your body and how that is really working out for you and your house. If you love being revved and going going, do it. If you want to pull back, then that's how, not removing priorities but staggering them instead of trying to do them all at once.

You might look for ways that your kids can be more independent. For instance, you say "lots" of read alouds, but that could be down to *some* read alouds and more audiobooks. Are your kids having fun? Are there things they would prioritize that maybe aren't in your priorities? It's ok to do less or to do *enough* and call it good. I'm trying to think about what my kids most look back on, like what most defines feeling cared for and loved. Meals are a big deal. Maybe you can improve dinner prep efficiency and get more sleep? We often have threads for meal planning and cleaning. Those might be areas to reclaim time and up your game to make sure you're getting enough sleep.

Edited June 27, 2023 by PeterPan

[Nm.]

Thank you so much,  I think I thrive on routines.  I also need a lot more time.  The feeling of being rushed/ not enough time gives me a ton of anxiety.  I also need alone time.  Being around people (even my kids) without a good chunk of alone time quickly depletes me.  I’m excited.  I may not get to all of the list everyday.  But certainly over time I’ll get to them more often.  My goal is to go to bed when they do- around 8/8:30.  Right now they go to bed when I do which is around 10/10:30.  But then I usually stay up even later in bed online.  I don’t need more sleep- just better sleep instead of being up late not getting anything done (wasting time) I’ll have a routine and be up before they are.

[PeterPan]

Yeah, those unmet emotional needs (for adult conversation, time alone, etc.) can drive you to stay up at night. Sounds like you're analyzing it square on that you need to find ways to meet your needs. Ironically, some of your kids may have those introvert/down time needs too.

It's a very good point when you start to realize what you need to do to feel well (calm, peaceful, stabilized) in your day and build in things that meet those needs. You said you don't do a nap time but then you also are saying you need some alone/private time. It's ok to have some boundaries and say you know, from 1-2 pm the house is quiet and you go eat chocolate. You might think about making a physical retreat space for yourself, somewhere you go during that time so you DEFINITELY get the peace/recovery time you need.

Shifting bedtimes of kids from 10 to 8, good luck on that. You can use sunglasses to shift their sleep/wake times.

Edited June 28, 2023 by PeterPan

[alysee]

It's taken a lot of time for me to figure out what works best for my family. For us, you will notice our routine has us mostly doing the same subject at the same time. That helps my ADHD brain tremendously to be able to hyper focus on one subject  at a Time if a kid needs help even if the program or level is different.

[Nm.]

I love focusing on one subject at once.  Thank you!