Not listening to stories, K/1 level, should I worry?

[Janeway]

We are using TGTB LA level K. We are only at the beginning even though son is 6 yrs old because I already felt it was advanced. Son has no problem with anything so far and we have already been using OPGTR and doing all sorts of things all year.  But now we are on the story, which is an old fashioned story about a boy moving with his parents and going out in nature and seeing things and so on. He cannot recall anything at all when I read to him.  But he seems as if he is not trying. He is a good little boy, but he does not seem to get that he needs to listen.  Should I worry about this? 

[HomeAgain]

Does he listen to other stories?

[Janeway]

10 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

Does he listen to other stories?

Not really. He will read from readers. Then he has some books he loves to listen to over and over again. But if I pull anything else out, he tunes me out. These books are all similar picture books. I had not tried chapter books with him yet.  So he loves all the books about kittens or puppies. But he rejects anything else I try to read to him. I am kind of thinking maybe too much ipad time. He has learned how to set off the location on the ipad, how to unlock it, and whenever I am gone from the house, he just plays the ipad the entire time I think.

[regentrude]

26 minutes ago, Janeway said:

Not really. He will read from readers. Then he has some books he loves to listen to over and over again. But if I pull anything else out, he tunes me out. These books are all similar picture books. I had not tried chapter books with him yet.  So he loves all the books about kittens or puppies. But he rejects anything else I try to read to him. I am kind of thinking maybe too much ipad time. He has learned how to set off the location on the ipad, how to unlock it, and whenever I am gone from the house, he just plays the ipad the entire time I think.

A 6 y/o boy who doesn't want to listen to stuff that doesn't interest him sounds entirely normal to me
Do you read to him daily? Does he ask you to read him his favorites? Do you listen to audiobooks while riding in the car?
Does he like adventurous stories?
 

[cintinative]

Does he do anything with his hands while he listens? Play with legos or manipulatives? I let my kids do that at that age when I read aloud. I know for some kids that won't work, but for others, maybe?  My sons used to set up wars with the counting bears while I read SOTW. LOL.

How long is he having to sit and listen? The other thing I encountered at this age is that they couldn't sit and listen quite as long as maybe I wanted them to.  If you break the reading up into 15/20 minute chunks, does his recall improve?

 

[Janeway]

17 minutes ago, regentrude said:

A 6 y/o boy who doesn't want to listen to stuff that doesn't interest him sounds entirely normal to me
Do you read to him daily? Does he ask you to read him his favorites? Do you listen to audiobooks while riding in the car?
Does he like adventurous stories?
 

No to adventure stories. We listen to some books in the car, but he might not listen much. Which is amazing as I cannot say anything at all privately without him hearing every single detail. When we read together, he reads from some books I have for him to read, which includes readers (BOB books which he loved but we finished, and a variety of sets of readers and the TGTB readers) and then we read to him. The books we read to him include all his books of kittens and puppies doing things normal for kittens and puppies (no talking puppies stuff) like "Kittens are Like That" and "Puppies are Like That", and "I am a Little Cat" and so on. I also read from bible stories that are from picture books. But, the chapter book from TGTB right now has no pictures and is about a boy moving to the country. We live in the city and he has never been "to the country."  He has spent much of his small life on Covid lockdown. I wonder if he even remembers life prior to this. Point being, he is either not interested in the story, or just unable to picture the idea of driving out in the country, down a big road, and seeing animals.

[Janeway]

Just now, cintinative said:

Does he do anything with his hands while he listens? Play with legos or manipulatives? I let my kids do that at that age when I read aloud. I know for some kids that won't work, but for others, maybe?  My sons used to set up wars with the counting bears while I read SOTW. LOL.

How long is he having to sit and listen? The other thing I encountered at this age is that they couldn't sit and listen quite as long as maybe I wanted them to.  If you break the reading up into 15/20 minute chunks, does his recall improve?

 

Do you think it would be okay to substitute the story with a higher interest story? Or should I keep trying to keep to this story to teach him to listen to even things he does not love?

[Janeway]

4 minutes ago, cintinative said:

Does he do anything with his hands while he listens? Play with legos or manipulatives? I let my kids do that at that age when I read aloud. I know for some kids that won't work, but for others, maybe?  My sons used to set up wars with the counting bears while I read SOTW. LOL.

How long is he having to sit and listen? The other thing I encountered at this age is that they couldn't sit and listen quite as long as maybe I wanted them to.  If you break the reading up into 15/20 minute chunks, does his recall improve?

 

He actually can sit like he is listening, but when he is asked to narrate back when he just heard, on this book, he cannot. 

[regentrude]

Just now, Janeway said:

No to adventure stories. We listen to some books in the car, but he might not listen much. Which is amazing as I cannot say anything at all privately without him hearing every single detail. When we read together, he reads from some books I have for him to read, which includes readers (BOB books which he loved but we finished, and a variety of sets of readers and the TGTB readers) and then we read to him. The books we read to him include all his books of kittens and puppies doing things normal for kittens and puppies (no talking puppies stuff) like "Kittens are Like That" and "Puppies are Like That", and "I am a Little Cat" and so on. I also read from bible stories that are from picture books. But, the chapter book from TGTB right now has no pictures and is about a boy moving to the country. We live in the city and he has never been "to the country."  He has spent much of his small life on Covid lockdown. I wonder if he even remembers life prior to this. Point being, he is either not interested in the story, or just unable to picture the idea of driving out in the country, down a big road, and seeing animals.

I would just not push this and instead read him things he is interested in. There will be plenty of times in his life when he has to listen to stuff that bores him. And at that age, I would definitely choose books with pictures if that is more engaging to him.
What does he do when you are trying to read the picture less book? is he expected to sit still? many kids listen better if they get to color or play.
 
 

[regentrude]

3 minutes ago, Janeway said:

Do you think it would be okay to substitute the story with a higher interest story? Or should I keep trying to keep to this story to teach him to listen to even things he does not love?

but why? he is SIX. Shouldn't the goal be that he develops a love for stories?

[Janeway]

3 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I would just not push this and instead read him things he is interested in. There will be plenty of times in his life when he has to listen to stuff that bores him. And at that age, I would definitely choose books with pictures if that is more engaging to him.
What does he do when you are trying to read the picture less book? is he expected to sit still? many kids listen better if they get to color or play.
 
 

He is a very calm child who will sit still a ton and listen to the books he likes. 

[Janeway]

2 minutes ago, regentrude said:

but why? he is SIX. Shouldn't the goal be that he develops a love for stories?

Yes, thank you! I feel better now. I think I will just read the story to him and if he zones out, not be worried and just move on.

[regentrude]

1 minute ago, Janeway said:

He is a very calm child who will sit still a ton and listen to the books he likes. 

Then I would not worry one little bit.

I found it so much easier to teach reading and writing and note taking to my kids using materials and subjects they were interested in. They can develop these skills on enjoyable material - and then later transfer them to not so enjoyable stuff. Works for adults too 🙂

[cintinative]

I think I spent too much time at this age trying to make sure my kids remembered stuff they didn't care about.  

I agree with regentrude. I would just use the higher interest stuff and either drop the low interest or not worry about him retelling it to you.  

If doing something with his hands helps him to listen, let him do that.  

 

[knitgrl]

Dd6 has hated audiobooks. And really did not have much interest in chapter books being read to her. She tolerates reading aloud for history. Because of her low tolerance, I only have her narrate a paragraph or two for history. It is only just the past month or two that she has not been grumpy about listening to chapter book read alouds. With this in mind, last fall, I tried reading things like Mercy Watson which has pictures and denser text to get her used to chapter book read alouds. It's gotten better. She is even enjoying Charlotte's Web right now, though that does have a few pictures. However, she has always loved having picture books read to her. Things could improve with time.

[Not_a_Number]

2 hours ago, Janeway said:

He is a very calm child who will sit still a ton and listen to the books he likes. 

Then read him books he likes 🙂 . 

Honestly, I haven't made any of my kids read stuff they don't want, including DD8 (who will be 9 this summer.) For me, the point is to make sure that they like reading and that they can understand it. 

[Clarita]

I would not worry about him not paying attention to some random story he isn't interested in.  To have him practice narrating you can first start by asking him about things during his day and having him re-tell something that he actually experienced. From there get him to summarize and/or discuss with you stuff that he is interested in. Since he seems to like the iPad make it a point to have him tell you what happened during a game he played on there, or a video he watched. (two birds with one stone - turn the iPad into work and it is now something he actively engages in as opposed to something that just entertains him. Even games can be passive entertainment.) Probably by then he can narrate stories back to you and discuss them with you whether you want him to or not.

Also, make time during day where his narration and discussion won't be corrected AT ALL. This part is super important because this shows him that you actually care about what he has to say and it's not always some test and he's trying to get to the right answer.

This is how I get my 4.5 and almost 3 year old to narrate things for me.

[regentrude]

13 hours ago, Clarita said:

Since he seems to like the iPad make it a point to have him tell you what happened during a game he played on there, or a video he watched. (two birds with one stone - turn the iPad into work and it is now something he actively engages in as opposed to something that just entertains him. Even games can be passive entertainment.) Probably by then he can narrate stories back to you and discuss them with you whether you want him to or not.

Also, make time during day where his narration and discussion won't be corrected AT ALL. This part is super important because this shows him that you actually care about what he has to say and it's not always some test and he's trying to get to the right answer.

I spent many hours listening to my son tell me about his video games, usually while we were hiking. I consider forced narration for "school" completely unnecessary - just have a conversation, have him tell you something that he is interested in, and show that you're interested in what he has to say (even if it's not your "thing" - I couldn't care less about video games, but I did care to hear what my child was passionate about). It strengthens the narration skills while at the same time being great for the relationship, because mom makes time to be attentive to what kid has to say. I am convinced this is one of the reasons I have a good relationship with my young adults.

Edited May 11, 2021 by regentrude

[Not_a_Number]

15 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I spent many hours listening to my son tell me about his video games, usually while we were hiking. I consider forced narration for "school" completely unnecessary - just have a conversation, have him tell you something that he is interested in, and show that you're interested in what he has to say (even if it's not your "thing" - I couldn't care less about video games, but I did care to hear what my child was passionate about). It strengthens the narration skills while at the same time being great for the relationship, because mom makes time to be attentive to what kid has to say. I am convinced this is one of the reasons I have a good relationship with my young adults.

I totally agree. We don’t do “academic narration” because narrating things to each other is simply a part of life...

[prairiewindmomma]

I would read some high interest stories (to him) and see how well he narrates.

IIRC, you have some non-NT kids in the mix. Do you see evidence of attention issues elsewhere in his life (inattentive ADD)? Are his language skills otherwise solidly in place? I'm not suggesting there is a problem, but I do think you are wise to pay close attention. You have several older kids--you've got a good idea of what is normal and what is not. 🙂

[AnneGG]

My 6 year old son LOVES audio books and long read alouds. I don’t require narrations, but I know that some details are slipping through. It doesn’t concern me right now. I think for him, it’s just way to relax and play quietly. Otherwise, he is talking nonstop and jumping off the furniture and living his best life. 

The TGTB K story (Billy and the big road? Or something like that?) wasn’t too successful here. He wouldn’t really answer the questions. His grandmother did a few lessons with him and she even said it was too advanced for him. Then later I would hear him putting on a show for the stuffies and, to an extent, retelling some of the story. So.... idk. I often wonder if kids know more than they let on. 

[Terabith]

In general, I think there's no reason to force him to listen to things he's not interested in.  But....is he ONLY interested in books about kittens and puppies doing real things and Bible stories?  The fairly narrow interests would concern me way more than inability to narrate or pay attention to things he's not interested in.  

I would consider taking him for a drive into the country to see some animals, or to a petting zoo or something.  Not in the middle of a gas crisis, but I'd consider trying to expand his life experiences a bit.