HCATeach Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 So I was going along just fine this school year, not looking back once or asking myself if homeschooling was the right choice for us. Now, suddenly, after spending time with extended family, I'm asking myself if maybe it's time for a change. One family member asked if we shelter our kids. Another mentioned how her daughter was getting herself ready for school and to the bus stop on her own in first grade. So I look at my daughter (9) and wonder if I'm holding her back from life experiences. She's an exceptional student, very motivated... What's going to happen between me and my 9YO girl over time? Will she resent me for homeschooling her when she's quite capable of thriving in any school setting? So I have some legit questions, but I'm also wondering if I'm just burning out b/c of the extended family thing that comes with holidays. Or do I really need to re-evaluate? Just needed to vent in a safe place... Any thoughts or commiserations are welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I can't answer your questions about whether homeschooling is right for your family. However, I can give you these words of encouragement: ONLY 13 DAYS LEFT TILL CHRISTMAS VACATION!!!! :party: HTH:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Call me crazy, but I would not be sending my 1st grader to the bus stop alone. I think it is natural to evaluate things this time of year...at least it always seems to be the time *I* do it. As far as family goes, I think it is a matter of them not understanding and attaching all of the homeschooling stereotypes to you...especially if this is new to you and new to them. As far as life experiences...there is plenty to be learned at home and when she is out with you interacting with people of all ages. She can help you cook, sort laundry, find the best deal on cereal when you go grocery shopping, she can get herself ready in the morning before it's time to start school, she can locate library books using the online catalog, ect. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I ask myself those questions every day, especially when its just not me being burnt out, its the kids melt downs. But, I figure if they dont melt down here they will just do it at school. We are on yr. eleven, and I just think 4 more yrs w/the youngest. Now, college. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 So I was going along just fine this school year, not looking back once or asking myself if homeschooling was the right choice for us. Now, suddenly, after spending time with extended family, I'm asking myself if maybe it's time for a change. One family member asked if we shelter our kids. Another mentioned how her daughter was getting herself ready for school and to the bus stop on her own in first grade. So I look at my daughter (9) and wonder if I'm holding her back from life experiences. She's an exceptional student, very motivated... What's going to happen between me and my 9YO girl over time? Will she resent me for homeschooling her when she's quite capable of thriving in any school setting? So I have some legit questions, but I'm also wondering if I'm just burning out b/c of the extended family thing that comes with holidays. Or do I really need to re-evaluate? Just needed to vent in a safe place... Any thoughts or commiserations are welcome! Extended family can put a big strain on even the most determined homeschooler. Ask me how I know.:glare: That said, I don't know what is right for you and your family. My oldest is in gr2 so I have similar questions from time to time. What I say is, if it in your heart the decision you've made feels good and things are working well for both you and your dd, then keep on going. I don't think you are holding your dd back by homeschooling although I have seen some situations where I do think the kids would fare better in PS. If you're involved in her life and her interests, odds are you're introducing her to all sorts of experiences she wouldn't get if she were at school 9 hours a day. :grouphug: Hang in there. Ask away with your questions- there are tons tons of helpful, friendly voices here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Can I just ask why people think being sheltered is bad? I hate that. Is it bad that my kids don't get pushed around and bullied? Is it wrong that they are NOT learning four letter words? I just don't get it. I appreciate that everyone has their own beliefs but why is being sheltered bad? Being totally oblivious to the world is bad but sheltered? Sorry, just went on my happy little tangent.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Can I just ask why people think being sheltered is bad? I hate that. Is it bad that my kids don't get pushed around and bullied? Is it wrong that they are NOT learning four letter words? I just don't get it. I appreciate that everyone has their own beliefs but why is being sheltered bad? Being totally oblivious to the world is bad but sheltered? Sorry, just went on my happy little tangent.:001_huh: I like your tangent, makes sense to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HCATeach Posted December 3, 2008 Author Share Posted December 3, 2008 (edited) Thanks, everybody! It feels better to not be alone. ;) I would like to know from moms of older girls how your relationships are. Mine wasn't great with my mom, and I was public schooled, so I guess sending my DD to school wouldn't necessarily help (LOL). I haven't seen many real-life examples of teenage homeschooled girls since making the decision to homeschool (before my daughter ever stepped foot in a school), and I'm curious if I should expect anything in particular when homeschooling an older girl. Can you tell me about the hurdles and the advantages to homeschooling through high school? Just in research mode, I guess, and need to see a big picture! Thank you!!! :001_smile: P.S. At present, my daughter and I have a very good relationship! I'm just worrying about the future (ugh). Edited December 3, 2008 by HCATeach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I have one in high school and one coming up the bend. I think hormones are hormones no matter where you put them. The grass always looks greener. But we all know what reality is. I can remember sixteen and bumping heads w/my mom and I was in ps and had ton of friends. It just doesnt change. I am just happy I am here for my kids when they need me, and I feel if they were in public school I would not have that same closeness or understanding. There might be more rift. For right now it fits, and I take it one step at a time. I know when they were five, I would always say one more yr, and we will see what the next yr. holds. That was many moons ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH Kim Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I have one firm rule about homeschooling: I'm not allowed to quit in November, February or May. You just got through November. It's a tough month and I think pretty much everyone questions their decision to hs that month, whether it's holiday stress, burnout or change in season. Finish this year. Don't worry about deciding about next year yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowWhite Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 IMO, yes, 'tis the season for doldrums. That's why Christmas vacation is so wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 We took Thurs and Fri off and now I am catching up on housework after all the shopping (and colds). I never have the time/energy to get together with other kids. My house is always behind and the time I could use on it is used on homeschool. We don't do the fun stuff or the spiritual stuff near often enough. I am very tempted to give up, and discouraged. It is not just you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 The holidays are definitely a time to reflect and question our decisions, particularly with relatives being buttinskis. I like to remember one of my favorite movie quotes "It's a time when everyone takes stock in their lives. I say leave your livestock alone." FWIW, we take a six week break between Thanksgiving and New Year. It works with our climate because it's too hot in the summer to play outside but also, it's one less thing I need to stress about and I can really enjoy this time of year. OTOH, no school does give me extra time to think about how strained the relationship is with my family and my ILs and how my kids don't have many friends and how I need to revamp some curriculum and how I have many projects that need completing and wasn't I going to get around to reading Othello in 2008......LOL Not sure if I helped much but at least I'm as confused as you, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tara~ Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 what a timely post...I'm not alone, I'm really not! I had a meltdown yesterday. The kids were fine, but slow. Anyway, I had a terrible day. I have been feeling rather blah about it all for a few weeks but yesterday was just awful! Wondering why I was home schooling, if they'd be better off elsewhere, if I was holding them back, etc. It's a terrible feeling but I am so relieved to hear it's not just me. Others experience the same thing. *whew* And to the poster who said she won't allow herself to quit during Nov, Feb or May (was that right?)..thank you. You're right. Those are the months that I begin to question everything again. I need to make better note of that and keep pressing on. Make a note to purposely reevaluate during a 'good' month or something. But to not let those few months get the better of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 We went to the library to do our school work without toddler, then got our books for starting our Asia study, along with Russia and China. We made our notebook page for Asia today and the joy of homeschooling is back. Just sticking to the basics makes it drudgery. I have been on the curriculum boards more and that helps to keep me motivated. I also started leaving the TV off during the day, taking melatonin and getting up earlier, so I am having more time this way. Anyway, it is better for me, for now at least. :) I am not preparing for Christmas though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I would like to know from moms of older girls how your relationships are. Mine wasn't great with my mom, and I was public schooled, so I guess sending my DD to school wouldn't necessarily help (LOL). I haven't seen many real-life examples of teenage homeschooled girls since making the decision to homeschool (before my daughter ever stepped foot in a school), and I'm curious if I should expect anything in particular when homeschooling an older girl. Can you tell me about the hurdles and the advantages to homeschooling through high school? :001_smile: I have a teenage daughter- age 14. She is amazing- she is extroverted, a party animal, a socialite, she is quite different to me in many ways- she is self confident, enjoys herself, her body, being a kid and a teen- everything I would want for her. She is a little peer dominated, but we check with her about that regularly. We have an excellent relationship. She has privacy- so do I. She doesn't tell me everything in her life and I don't insist on being her best friend, but we get on well, she tells me how to dress :) and I tell her as often as i can how lucky I feel she is my daughter. I feel our relationship is much better than if she were at school because she is so extroverted and peer influenced- in order to be liked at school she would have to have disassociated from her parents by now- we would be way uncool. She was heading that way in school at age 9 which was why we pulled her out. She told me everyone in school said they hated their parents (at age 9!). With homeschooling, she has a healthy social life, lots of friends (homeschooled and through Scouts which is mixed sexes here in Australia), she has computer and phone texting to stay in contact with her friends, yet, she homeschools and has a good relationship with both of her parents. It certainly doesn't have to be bad. This kid has always been easy to parent though (and I had a rough teenage life with my mum and left home at 16). Ask me about my son some time! He is the handful, the one I butt heads with. Dd is a joy and I do go out of my way to accommodate her need for friends, so that homeschooling works for her, but I am so glad I get to spend so much time around her. I suspect one day she will fly off like a butterfly and go explore the world. She's just like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HCATeach Posted December 10, 2008 Author Share Posted December 10, 2008 Thank you, all, for your responses!!! Kim, thanks so much for your specific advice about not quitting in November, February, or May! I got through November!! Actually, soon after posting the original post, I realized that what I personally needed was to recover from the vacation and slip back into our normal routine; that did the trick for me. The vacation and family conversations had put my mind on the negatives of homeschooling, and returning to the routine reminded me of all the positives! (Of course, everything we do has positives and negatives. I just needed a perspective shift.) Peela, thanks for telling me about your relationship with your daughter. May I ask, what specific activities have you involved her in to ensure a fulfilling social life for her? I'd like to have a vision in my head of what I will be able to do to ensure the same for my daughter (a social butterfly, too). To all who have been discouraged, I hope this thread encourages you as much as it does me! We're not alone! :) Emily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HCATeach Posted December 10, 2008 Author Share Posted December 10, 2008 It sounds like you are suffering from EFIBS (Extended Family induced burnout syndrome). I love this, Christina. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I just thought I'd update my earlier response and say, ONLY 8 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS VACATION!!!! That is all:leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I think getting back to a normal routine after vacation is what we really need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HCATeach Posted December 10, 2008 Author Share Posted December 10, 2008 I just thought I'd update my earlier response and say, ONLY 8 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS VACATION!!!! That is all:leaving: :laugh: Thanks, Dorinda! :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 No problem. I'm FEELING it, and it's the only thing that gets me motivated - the countdown. My kids like it too. We can make it!!!:w00t: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Peela, thanks for telling me about your relationship with your daughter. May I ask, what specific activities have you involved her in to ensure a fulfilling social life for her? I'd like to have a vision in my head of what I will be able to do to ensure the same for my daughter (a social butterfly, too). Right from the beginning of homeschooling (she was 9 when she came home from school) I knew it was important she have homeschooled friends if it was going to work with her. It took 6 months to find them, but she clicked in with a beautiful group of girls that she is still friends with. We went on lots of field trips, such as monthly zoo days, with other homeschooled kids. Then we joined a co-op situation especially for homeschooled kids to bond with each other- and for 3 years we went there and did sport and drama once a week. And, she joined Sea Scouts, which here in Australia is open to boys and girls. She immediately clicked even as the only girl at first in the then small group. She just loved it and has been very active in Scouts ever since, with some other homeschooled friends joining her group after a while, and many girls. She has been on some amazing Scout camps, where she gets to be away from her parents. This year she did a sponsored trip to a desert aboriginal town 1000kms away. She is still in contact with all the other kids who went from all over our state, and also some of the kids up there. For her, homeschooling gives her freedom to be involved in lots of social, extra curricula activities. She also has a job now- she got that because she wanted to go on a $1000 Scout camp in January (our summer holidays) and I said I wasn't going to pay for it so forget it (just too much money for me). She asked if she could go if she could raise the money and within 6 months- she was 13 and only just 14- she had the money. I was amazed. So I worked hard at first to keep her happy socially- and now she does it all herself, basically. I am just the taxi! Texting and My Space and emails keep her in daily contact with friends. We do live in a good city for homeschooling- lots of activities, even for teenagers, though we cant possible do it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HCATeach Posted December 12, 2008 Author Share Posted December 12, 2008 Thanks, Peela! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wenn Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I have one firm rule about homeschooling: I'm not allowed to quit in November, February or May. I never really thought about it but those can be some rough months:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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