DawnM Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 I don't have a lot of time to go into details right now, but the boy decided to do his final project his own way for a class. The professor told him it was the best he had ever seen (of what he did) but that it wasn't what the assignment asked him to do, so he ended up with a C in that class. He had to keep a 3.0. He now has a 2.94. ARGH! So, his fees are $5k more for this upcoming quarter. If he goes back. #AspieLife #ARGH! #MaybeABreakIsn'tABadIdea 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 It will depend on his school, but maybe he can go on probation for a semester and keep his scholarship another semester. Sometimes you can write a letter or talk to someone in the office. That is so disappointing 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 (edited) I'm so sorry, that bites. Had he been using disability services? Is it possible they would intervene? And no, at my dd's school if you lose the scholarship it's over, toast, never get it back. I think they're a little more pleasant about it though, like you get a semester of probation to get the grades back up. So she sort of, ahem, was pushing to the end classes she knew might tank her GPA, with the thought that at least she'd get through. Maybe talk with them? They seemed like they were trying to help you so far and it's clearly connected to his disability thinking. And unfortunately, instead of him learning from it, only you do. Unless you go sorry, we're not paying the difference. But that seems like a mess too because it would drive him to quit. I mean clearly there's an employability issue there when he's not doing what the boss wanted, sigh. My dd messed up on something she really wanted, and it took her a full year to realize what she had done wrong and why she messed it up. It was a hard lesson, because she had really wanted it. What are his counselors saying to do about how to handle it? And you're dealing with the health of your friend too, right? What a mess. My dd comes home today. We'll see what surprises she has, stuff she hasn't told us, lol. Edited November 23, 2019 by PeterPan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 That is frustrating, especially since it's so, so close for his GPA. Is there a way to put support in place for future classes, where he has some check-ins for high stakes assignments so that he can correct before veering so far off the path? That is a reasonable accommodation in a lot of workplaces (my boss expected weekly status reports, we worked on teams within our department and on mixed teams with other departments, all of which had meetings and feedback sessions), and it's a way for him to advocate for himself vs. expect people to bend to his way of thinking. Does your son see the reasoning for the grade? My son tends to be acquiesce to hoop jumping, but there are times where he just doesn't understand the directions. OTOH, my DH is terrible about directions--he tends to creatively interpret stuff, but in his case, he's the "don't pin me down" personality type that gets his back up (not diagnosed with ASD--seems to lack some of the main criteria, but that ADHD line is sure awfully close!). One sibling is the same but worse many times over. The other tends to be more of the perpetual misunderstood type (dyslexia, ADHD, almost undoubtedly CAPD, etc.). Neither had much success career-wise until their mid-40's. One does a very niche job at a niche employer, and the unusual strengths shine there. The other is doing more traditional work, but I think the job is well-structured with fewer chances for misunderstanding. It's not in his sibling's original field, but it's related. It's not an ideal situation, but if your son can learn from it, it could be really helpful down the road. My DH has lost a job over misunderstandings, though in his case, there was a middleman creating drama and lying (but he should've been checking in with someone else when weird stuff came up). His siblings have both lost multiple jobs, and his brother at least one relationship (early on, not a long-term one) over this kind of stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Oh, man!! I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweet2ndchance Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 4 hours ago, Lecka said: It will depend on his school, but maybe he can go on probation for a semester and keep his scholarship another semester. Sometimes you can write a letter or talk to someone in the office. That is so disappointing 😞 ^^^This!!! It never hurts to ask! The worst they could say is no! Especially since the grade was so close, I would definitely ask if academic probation is an option. Most scholarship/financial aid programs I've been a part of always gave a semester of academic probation before pulling funding from a student because life happens sometimes! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 24, 2019 Author Share Posted November 24, 2019 No, there are no exceptions, no letters, no probation, etc....BUT, the good news is, at this school, if you get it back up to 3.0, you get the scholarship back. We told him we will pay the extra ONCE but after that, he needs to get it back up, or pay it himself. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Dawn, I'm sorry. He came so close, it really stinks to lose that scholarship. It *is* fantastic that he can bring his grade back up and get the money back, though. I hope it helps him understand about following instructions, ultimately that would be worth the extra cost for one semester. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 So close! I am glad you are able to bridge it for him this one time. We have a constant mantra here ... "make sure you are answering the question asked." So I can totally see how that would happen. And my kids always seem to be right on the line with grades. So stressful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 I am so glad he can get it back if he gets his grades up! That would be the *best* scenario for my son with ASD to learn from. Stings for a bit, but it's somewhat reversible. If something is just over and done because something went wrong, he just gives up--it's too hard and too high stakes. I hope it's motivating and reassuring to your son as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 25, 2019 Author Share Posted November 25, 2019 Guys, he is turning 22 soon. The "maybe he will learn" is often lost on him. He lives in his own Aspie world and the world you want to smack sometimes because it makes NO sense to a neuro-typical person. Maybe he will learn.....hope springs (VERY) eternal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 I'm sorry. That's hard. I can understand your frustration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 If he likes the counselor he’s seeing, maybe he can talk with them about it. It’s definitely a social thinking issue and the consequence is landing on you, not him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 1, 2019 Author Share Posted December 1, 2019 On 11/25/2019 at 11:02 AM, PeterPan said: If he likes the counselor he’s seeing, maybe he can talk with them about it. It’s definitely a social thinking issue and the consequence is landing on you, not him. Unfortunately, she is on maternity leave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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