omishev Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 We are expecting #4 in about 6 weeks and my husband gets 2 weeks (or 80 hrs) of paternity leave. I am psyched because he did not get any with the other kids. How would you use those 80 hrs? All at once, half days, long weekends? And what would you do about school? My older two are in 2nd and K so it's not like school is that intense but I think keeping the routine will be helpful. I think prepping him with take a lot more time than I currently spend prepping because he is jumping in not knowing where we have been. Also, he has a hard time with crowd control so I'm wondering if I should just work one on one with each kid while nursing or whatever and he can keep the other two busy and handle the food prep, dishes, laundry etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 I would do 1/2 days - can he go in after lunch? You could sleep in a bit and probably get all the K's school done before he leaves and then I bet just an hour for the 2nd grader in the afternoon. When our 3rd was born, I had wanted dh to take Tuesday and Thursdays off for a few weeks. It did not work out that, but he took Wednesdays off for a month and that helped so much. I scheduled all the well-checks on Wednesday for the baby. It was so nice to have to take the other kids to the doctor with me. Congratulations 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Honestly, I'd want him for sure the first 3-5 days and then I'd want to play it by ear. I wouldn't make any hard educational plans ahead of time. Maybe line up some stuff kids can do with minimal intervention - read to each other, work booky stuff, kid friendly documentaries, simple kitchen recipes you might throw together quickly, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 My husband gets 10 working days, but he has to take them all at once. You guys are creative with your scheduling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 My friend’s dh took off the first 3-5 days after the baby arrived, and then took off every Friday for a few weeks. She loved it! Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, lmrich said: I would do 1/2 days - can he go in after lunch? You could sleep in a bit and probably get all the K's school done before he leaves and then I bet just an hour for the 2nd grader in the afternoon. When our 3rd was born, I had wanted dh to take Tuesday and Thursdays off for a few weeks. It did not work out that, but he took Wednesdays off for a month and that helped so much. I scheduled all the well-checks on Wednesday for the baby. It was so nice to have to take the other kids to the doctor with me. Congratulations This would be my ideal. I was severely sleep deprived and DH left by 5a each day. He only got 10 consecutive days too (including weekends). Edited October 23, 2019 by Sneezyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dynamite5 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 My husband got flexible paternity leave, too. I wanted him home around the witching hour. It was easy for me to be up in the morning, as there's no way I could sleep in with 3 littles, let alone a newborn, but I was worried I would be fried at the end of the day. He took some full day vacations right after I had given birth, then came home at 3:00 every day for quite a while. I knew I could schedule a 3:15 doctor appointment (he actually left work at 2:30). I would focus on the things you can do easily with a newborn and not worry about the rest as far as school goes. I'm thinking read a louds, creative things like art projects they can do without much assistance from you, even listening to books on tape. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 I didn't want my dh around after the first few days...wait, that sounds worse than I mean it to. I want to get back into my/our regular routine asap and that doesn't happen when he is home. So he stays home for the first 2-3 days then back to work for half days. He might go in a bit later (10) and come home at 4 or so. The first few weeks aren't as hard for me as weeks 5-8 when sleep deprivation is really setting in, so we reserve most of his time off for that stretch. Then baby sleeps at night, I sleep at night, and dh goes back to work full time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 We also did best getting back to our normal (sans-DH) schedule as soon as possible. Leading up to each birth I worked very hard to get the kids used to routines that would serve us well with a newborn. Inevitably those routines fell apart on days DH was home...and I couldn't afford to let that happen since I knew he would be back at work full time before long. DH stayed home for a couple days after the birth. Then he went back to work, but would be home by 3:30, the end of quiet time. At first he was home then every day, then three days a week, then 2 days a week, etc. After baby number two, DH actually permanently shifted his schedule such that he goes in extra early and is always home at 4:30. This has served us very well through the years. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 If it's flexible, I would also do half days or even three quarter days after taking off a couple right at the start. Spread it out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omishev Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 On 10/23/2019 at 6:56 PM, BakersDozen said: I didn't want my dh around after the first few days...wait, that sounds worse than I mean it to. I want to get back into my/our regular routine asap and that doesn't happen when he is home. No, we all know what you mean! As much as we love DH, it throws off everyone's routine to have him home. You would think we could get more done but it's quite the opposite! Being able to sleep in would be the biggest help. I doubt I will actually be able to sleep due to the noise. With our last baby I had the AC on and wore ear plugs and still had a hard time sleeping when the kids were up. Even if I can't sleep it will be nice to sit and nurse without having to get up to help a toddler in the bathroom or discipline. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 Exciting times! Hope the delivery goes really smoothly. With my 4th, my dh and I had a plan (he would homeschool the older 2 kids while I dealt with the toddler and baby) but everything went out the window. Firstly, baby was in PICU for a couple weeks, while I was at another hospital recovering from an emergency C-section. Dh spent the first week shuttling me back and forth between baby's hospital and my own. I spent my time on the phone organizing child care for out three children at home. Secondly, it turns out that ds, though an awesome high school/university teacher, does not enjoy working with early primary kids. What he REALLY loved doing was taking the baby and toddler out and about with him in the mornings while I stayed at home and schooled the older 2. It worked perfectly for us in the end. 😉 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omishev Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 4 hours ago, wintermom said: Exciting times! Hope the delivery goes really smoothly. With my 4th, my dh and I had a plan (he would homeschool the older 2 kids while I dealt with the toddler and baby) but everything went out the window. Firstly, baby was in PICU for a couple weeks, while I was at another hospital recovering from an emergency C-section. Dh spent the first week shuttling me back and forth between baby's hospital and my own. I spent my time on the phone organizing child care for out three children at home. Secondly, it turns out that ds, though an awesome high school/university teacher, does not enjoy working with early primary kids. What he REALLY loved doing was taking the baby and toddler out and about with him in the mornings while I stayed at home and schooled the older 2. It worked perfectly for us in the end. 😉 Wow that sounds really rough. Glad you found a plan B that worked for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 3 minutes ago, omishev said: Wow that sounds really rough. Glad you found a plan B that worked for you! It wasn't great, but all ended up well. It was my 4th c-section, so less nerves down there and not much pain. Baby was the giant of the PICU at 7 lbs, and going home in a couple weeks is lightning speed for those guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omishev Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 On 10/23/2019 at 7:35 PM, wendyroo said: We also did best getting back to our normal (sans-DH) schedule as soon as possible. Leading up to each birth I worked very hard to get the kids used to routines that would serve us well with a newborn. Inevitably those routines fell apart on days DH was home...and I couldn't afford to let that happen since I knew he would be back at work full time before long. DH stayed home for a couple days after the birth. Then he went back to work, but would be home by 3:30, the end of quiet time. At first he was home then every day, then three days a week, then 2 days a week, etc. After baby number two, DH actually permanently shifted his schedule such that he goes in extra early and is always home at 4:30. This has served us very well through the years. Wendy What do your afternoons look like? DH has always gotten home right in time for dinner (on the later side) and maybe 15-30 min of reading/playing with the kids before it's time to get ready for bed. I would love to be able to escape to exercise if he were home early. Since we outgrew the double stroller I have been exercising early mornings or during naptime but neither option is really appealing with a baby and homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 1 minute ago, omishev said: What do your afternoons look like? DH has always gotten home right in time for dinner (on the later side) and maybe 15-30 min of reading/playing with the kids before it's time to get ready for bed. I would love to be able to escape to exercise if he were home early. Since we outgrew the double stroller I have been exercising early mornings or during naptime but neither option is really appealing with a baby and homeschooling. Back when I was still having babies we had a pretty simple schedule. School started during breakfast and lasted until 10ish. Then, after the baby woke from his/her morning nap, we either had an extracurricular or therapy or we would go to the library or the park or just have free play inside or out. The big kids would eat lunch while I got the baby down for his/her next nap, and then the toddler would go down for nap after lunch and the bigger kids would have rest time. Rest time was over at 3:30, and the witching hour was in full force...for me and all the kids. The baby would be crying, the big kids would be making a million messes, I would be trying to get dinner on the table. For the first few weeks, it really helped if DH was home during that time. Dinner was at 5ish, and then the kids had a little bit of time with DH before the bedtime routine started. The bigger kids were all in bed between 6:30 and 7pm...right about the time the baby was waking up from his/her catnap. Then DH and I could cuddle the baby and finish up housekeeping for the evening before going to bed around 9pm. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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