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Thoughts on volunteering


laundrycrisis
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(clears throat) Thoughts on volunteering - The charge is led by those who choose to take a chance and step up through their own business and discomfort, whether they feel qualified or not. They will meet new people, make new mistakes, and learn many new things. They will get a thousand so-called helpful suggestions, but few genuine offers from others to pitch in. Their efforts will be criticized by many people who offered nothing else. If they look like they are in charge and know what they are doing, it's because they took charge and decided to figure it out. They are normal people who decided to contribute, take advantage of a great opportunity for growth, and to help create something that others benefit from. ☮️

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6 hours ago, Margaret in CO said:

Yeah, and when you stick by the rules of the organization you volunteer for, you will be vilified by the very people who can't be bothered to volunteer. Every single decision you make will be picked over and complained about. You will be gossiped about and screamed at. But every once in awhile, you will see another person step up to help, and another light turn on in a kid that most people have written off, and it will be worth it. 

All of those things have happened in the last 24 hours.

Margaret, my Web 2 crosses over to the troop this spring and I pray earnestly that he has some leaders like you! 

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2 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:

I don't understand.   People are being criticized for volunteering?  

My experience is that we get a truckload of advice on how we should do things, but it mostly comes from people who won't help.  Then after an event is complete, there are complaints about all the things that were wrong about it, but do they want to help to make it better in the future ?  Nope.  Volunteers get nitpicked by other parents, and even by other volunteers in the same group.  It's sad. 

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6 minutes ago, laundrycrisis said:

My experience is that we get a truckload of advice on how we should do things, but it mostly comes from people who won't help.  Then after an event is complete, there are complaints about all the things that were wrong about it, but do they want to help to make it better in the future ?  Nope.  Volunteers get nitpicked by other parents, and even by other volunteers in the same group.  It's sad. 


Ok, now I understand.  My dad had a theory that you shouldn't criticize a job, unless you are willing to do it yourself (which has happened).   
I find that is good for my mental health because it gives me a yard stick on how important something is.   Lots of things become 'Not worth fussing over'.   

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Yes, I try to remember this as I am currently not doing as much volunteer work as I have in the past.

Sometimes it is hard to know how much to say when you see room for improvement.  Like the volunteer coaches my kid works with - I might have a friendly suggestion, but no, I am not willing to take it on myself, so I should probably shut up (and I do).

Volunteer work can be incredibly thankless.  Yes I sat up all night on a work night preparing these reports for this unpaid board position.  I am so sorry I didn't also predict xyz or manage to force Volunteer Y to contribute her memo etc.  Thanks for making me feel better about quitting.  😛  Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever got a single "thank you" from some of my boards.  I mean how hard is it to say thank you ... and that could be why I say it so much nowadays ....

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It's always fun too when people who have no direct experience with the organization you volunteer for criticize it and spread misinformation that, when corrected, is never acknowledged.

Some volunteers are on power trips and that is why they are volunteering. They want their own little kingdoms, where they are in charge. If you haven't run into someone like this, God Bless You. It is awful when you are the volunteer "under" them bc you aren't allowed to try something different or new bc they are in charge. I mean, God forbid you set the banquet hall up a different way than the way it has always been done. 

I have volunteered most of teens and adults years...the vast majority of the time, it has been wonderful. Thank God.

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On 1/24/2019 at 8:57 AM, HeighHo said:

in addition, one out of a hundred adults who criticized you and nitpicked heavily will eventually move to volunteering. They will see you at an event for volunteers a few years later, come over, apologize, and thank you for standing firm and setting the example.  

A child will grow up and make a decision that life is worth it, remembering that the volunteers showed kindness, sacrifice, and what a stable home life looks like as well as introducing the concept of choice.

Wow even Jesus had a better percentage with the 10 lepers...

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On 1/24/2019 at 3:12 PM, shawthorne44 said:


Ok, now I understand.  My dad had a theory that you shouldn't criticize a job, unless you are willing to do it yourself (which has happened).   
I find that is good for my mental health because it gives me a yard stick on how important something is.   Lots of things become 'Not worth fussing over'.   

I have said this to dh on the ocassions when we had a not-so-stellar sports coach for a rec team. Dh would grumble, “Oh, Coach X, he’s too __________ (whatever: soft, harsh, quiet, loud, non-competitive, hyper-competitive...)” And I would say, “I know, but he volunteered and we didn’t. So he gets a pass.” 

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If I’m not doing the work to organize something, I feel the only appropriate things to say are “thank you” or “how can I help?” Anything else is micromanaging and unhelpful.

When you organize something, there are always people who cannot stop themselves from saying how THEY would do it. People who want advice ASK for it.    

 

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There was a woman at our homeschool group registration event who kept saying "they should... they should..." Finally I had to say to her, "there is no 'They' there's only 'We' - if you'd like to see that done, I recommend volunteering, go talk to the volunteer coordinator" and she then was in a royal huff .... but the volunteer coordinator called me into her office, to laugh. LoL 

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