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What kind of dress should I get?


PeachyDoodle
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My little sister is getting married -- yay! That means I have to shop for a dress -- boo! Shopping for clothes is not my thing.

I also feel like I'm in this in between state. I will be 40 this year (my sister is several years younger), and all the dress styles I see look like they're for 20-somethings or for the mother of the bride. I need something that's in the middle. To further complicate things, I'm not in the wedding, but I'm also not just a regular guest -- I will be participating in the ceremony, pictures, etc. So bridesmaids dresses seem not quite right, but so do the usual "guest attire" suggestions.

It's a summer evening wedding (likely to be VERY hot), so cocktail attire or dressier. What would you wear? Links would be awesome!

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If it were me, I'd definitely go sleeveless. Of course the style would depend on what is most flattering on you, but I like several of these. Personally, I'd choose a lighter color, something more form fitting than flowing (better choice for my body), and I wouldn't choose black. It sounds pretty fun if you get the dress taken care of early so there's no stress about finding one! (Crossing fingers that pictures show below.)
https://www.macys.com/shop/womens-clothing/dresses/Dress_length,Sleeve_length,Wedding_occasion/Knee Length,Sleeveless,Guest of Wedding?id=5449

image.png.58f5d6f5a41b04e825e98c880ea89bd1.pngimage.png.22219ee643b9c03065361d4cd20c3f87.png
image.png.06087d95a48e762717789bbb7e5e0a69.pngimage.png.dd16dec07ad000f666ea882071f53263.png

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I found myself in a similar situation last year, and I was even more limited in dress choices because it had to be nursing-friendly.

My dress was nice, but it wasn't anything beyond what a regular wedding attendee would wear.  It had a paisley pattern with some honey-colored sections here and there, so I decided to add blingy gold pumps and a similar clutch, gold earrings, an antique gold brooch, and get my hair curled and put into a nice updo.  I felt that the accessorizing added a little extra touch to signify being a "special guest."

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01HE9BOXQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01I21XLAO/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

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These are good options, thanks! 

I probably made it sound like my sister and her bridesmaids are WAY younger than me, but there's really only about 5 years' difference. I married so young, and we're at such radically different stages of life, that I feel like I don't fit in. That's my own neurosis at play.

My sister actually gave me the choice of whether to dress like the bridesmaids (same fabric, wide choice of style), and that would be easier, but I almost never dress up and part of me wants to do something really glamorous and out of character! But I'm kind of afraid to take that leap...

I definitely don't want black -- probably something in a lighter/more pastel color, or possibly navy. The bridesmaids are wearing a dove gray, and the groomsmen are wearing navy. I have the option of wearing gray if I want, or I can choose something else. DH will probably wear a charcoal suit. I don't want to clash with the bridal party, obviously, because pictures.

I am *ahem* curvy, and something with a pretty well-defined waist in a heavier, not-too-stretchy fabric would suit me best. I keep debating short vs. long. I tend to go short, because I'm short, and long hems can make me look dumpy, but...

 

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Here's a pretty navy dress that would be great for a curvy shape. Flashy heels and earrings and it's dressed up nicely. 

https://m.jcpenney.com/p/msk-3-4-sleeve-shift-dress/ppr5007338739?pTmplType=regular&catId=cat100210008&deptId=dept20000013&urlState=/g/wedding-guest-womens-dresses/N-bwo3xD1nnujcZ1z0oj4b

(Sorry for the screen shot. Couldn't save the image.)

IMG_3388.thumb.PNG.2ec5faa486d5735bc6a82049ca45e337.PNG

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I'd go with Komarov if you don't mind being a bit spendy.  His dresses skim rather than cling, so they 'read' as heavy but are nice and cool to wear.  This one would go great with the wedding colors, and would distinguish you from the bridal party without being overly flashy:  https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/komarov-charmeuse-lace-a-line-dress/4479591?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK MONET LEAVES

These dresses hold up really well, and since they are not terribly stylish, they don't really go out of style either.  I still have and regularly wear the one I bought for DD's confirmation, and that was 8-9 years ago.  So I feel like the ROI was pretty good, even though it was a hard swallow when I first got it.

 

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If the bridal party is wearing gray and navy, and you will be in the pictures but don't want to exactly look like the bridal party, I suggest looking for a dress that is a medium to light blue. Or purple. Or if you find a dress that has a navy and gray pattern, that would be nice for coordinating for the pictures but not looking like you are an extra bridesmaid.

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Do you have a Macy’s nearby? I can almost always find a dress for this kind of occasion there. 

I agree with you about the fitted waist and right above the knee should be perfect.  Don’t rule out knit dresses (heavy knits) unless you try them on. There are a lot out there now that are firm and not too clingy that could work really well with curves. 

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9 hours ago, kitten18 said:

Do you have a Macy’s nearby? I can almost always find a dress for this kind of occasion there. 

I agree with you about the fitted waist and right above the knee should be perfect.  Don’t rule out knit dresses (heavy knits) unless you try them on. There are a lot out there now that are firm and not too clingy that could work really well with curves. 

ITA with the above, fitted waist and above the knee. The last dress I bought was a heavy knit and it is very flattering.

Of the ones above I like the navy and coral dresses regentrude posted the most. Personally, I prefer v-necks and the straps have to be wide enough to accommodate a bra.

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This is the dress I'm wearing for my daughter's wedding. I'm 40, too. It's an outdoor wedding by a lake. I wanted something neutral and without a pattern so that I blend in better in the group photos. I'm not usually a fan of this colour, but I do think it's a good fit for being in a wedding but not in the wedding party. It goes with anything. I like this dress because it drapes nicely and it's easy to wear in hot and humid weather. I'll be wearing white sandals with it for the wedding. 

IMG_0033.jpg

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1 hour ago, SarahCB said:

This is the dress I'm wearing for my daughter's wedding. I'm 40, too. It's an outdoor wedding by a lake. I wanted something neutral and without a pattern so that I blend in better in the group photos. I'm not usually a fan of this colour, but I do think it's a good fit for being in a wedding but not in the wedding party. It goes with anything. I like this dress because it drapes nicely and it's easy to wear in hot and humid weather. I'll be wearing white sandals with it for the wedding. 

IMG_0033.jpg

 

I love this dress.  Can you provide a link to it?

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1 hour ago, SarahCB said:

This is the dress I'm wearing for my daughter's wedding. I'm 40, too. It's an outdoor wedding by a lake. I wanted something neutral and without a pattern so that I blend in better in the group photos. I'm not usually a fan of this colour, but I do think it's a good fit for being in a wedding but not in the wedding party. It goes with anything. I like this dress because it drapes nicely and it's easy to wear in hot and humid weather. I'll be wearing white sandals with it for the wedding. 

IMG_0033.jpg

You look lovely!!

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