Jennefer@SSA Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 This morning a lady who attends our church asked dh if we would like to adopt her 9 day old baby girl granddaughter. This grandmother (J) currently has custodial guardianship of the baby; the mother (N) had the baby while in prison. This sweet lady knew that I recently lost a baby and called us. Here is what I know: N was on the streets when she conceived. Her drug of choice was crack cocaine. We don't know anything about the father other than he was African American and a drug user too. N went to prison and found out only then she was pregnant, so since she was about 8 weeks pregnant she has had no drugs. N has 7 other children who have been adopted out through CPS. N has no history of depression or any other psychological disorders. J wants an "open adoption" so she can be grandmother as this child grows up. She has not had the chance to be grandma to any of the other 7. When I asked her to define what an open adoption looked like to her she said that she just wanted to be "Mimi" and spend quality time with her as she grew up. She wants to spoil her and send her home. Okay here are some of my questions (and I may be showing my gross ignorance on this subject by asking them - this was just dropped in my lap about 2 hours ago) : Can this grandmother really "pick" us if she only has custodial guardianship? How does adopting that way work when CPS is involved? What are the costs involved? Is is better to foster to adopt in this type of situation? How does health insurance work? Will she keep her medicaid or can we add her to our policy? The majority of her pregnancy N was not on drugs but during those first critical months she was. What are we possibly looking at long term with a baby exposed to crack during those first months in utero? Am I nuts to be considering this? After our recent loss dh said that he was willing to consider adoption. I have been interested in adopting for years. We definitely want a 4th baby I am just not sure about this situation with it being an open adoption, with grandmother attending our church and being so close, with the baby being exposed to crack... Are there any questions I need to be asking that I am not even aware enough to ask??? If you made it this far...thank you in advance. I truly appreciate it. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missplacedalaskan Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 We adopted privately....my niece is now my daughter. This sounds like a blessing, but I don't know about the "open" adoption idea. We have been open with our daughter about my sister, but she really isn't old enough to understand any of the details yet. It has been hard with the bio father sometimes (though my sis refers to him as the donor), his family has requested picture and more information than we are willing to give. We have just ignored those requests as he signed off all rights at the adoption. HTH. I'll be praying for wisdom and peace for you through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 My SIL & BIL are about to adopt 2 little girls through CPS. They're in AZ, but are adopting from MN. I'm fuzzy on a lot of the details, but someone who knew them asked a few months ago if they'd consider adopting these 2 little girls (they have 2 adopted boys, but they were private and from birth, so a different scenario). They had to wait on parental rights to be terminated, and then at the last minute there was another family member who wanted to try and adopt them, but the state chose my SIL & BIL. I got an email yesterday that they'll be getting the girls in 2-4 weeks (there's some extra paperwork because of the out-of-state). Anyway, I tell you this because they were hand picked to adopt these girls. I'll be praying for you and for this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNC Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 (edited) If CPS is using the grandma as a family foster parent then they decide what's in the best interest of the child. She can't just pursue a private adoption if they have custody of the baby. Does that make sense? I wish you the very best. I'm so sorry for your loss. Edited November 14, 2008 by LNC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I didn't adopt through CPS, but I do have open adoptions (VERY open!) and adopted twins with prenatal drug exposure. Feel free to pm me if you would like! If you are comfortable with the grandmother and have a good relationship with her, I would not worry about the open adoption aspect. Some of the strongest, healthiest adoptions are open ones (and I say this as an adoption social worker who has been a part of hundreds of adoptions of all types.). There are unique challenges and the early days of negotiating the new roles can be a little weird, but long term it has been wonderful for us! Honestly, my boys' birth mother (yes, the former drug addict!) is one of my closest friends...actually as close or closer than my own sister. She visits the house, stays the weekend, we've been to her home and met her extended family, we email weekly...it is wonderful, frankly. She kicked drugs and became a Christian, so that is a big part of it. Her grandparents are involved as great-grandparents to our boys, and that is nice, too. On the drug issue...it is very hard to say what will happen to this child. I've seen kids with drug exposure be perfectly fine, and others who were very, very sick. Personally, mine are fine but can be a bit hyper. We work it out, but it is tiring (they are twin 5 yr old boys, which is also a factor! ;)). Talk to your pediatrician, research it online, talk to other adoptive parents. Then, go into it with eyes wide open but not with fear. It will be what it will be...God still knit the child together in the womb and is still in control. I, too, am wondering about the custody situation and whether or not this grandmother can truly make this offer to you. I'd advise you to guard your heart until you get more information. Then, get any and every detail about the birth mother and the other sibs that you can from the grandmother and CPS...then, double the bad stuff and you'll probably have close to the truth. Find out if letting the grandmother have an open adoption will bring into your life a woman (or her cohorts) that might not be safe for you. Most of the time, these situations are fine...no one tries to reclaim the child or cause him/her harm. However, when it is bad it can be very bad. Know what you are getting into before you agree. Also, consider the state of your own heart and your own grief process before you proceed. If you have any doubts that you are ready, don't do it. It will only hurt you and cause the child more potential loss. Hugs to you and prayers. As I said before, pm me if you would like. You might also still have my personal e-mail from the days of the "Year at a Glance!" Feel free to use it. I'd be glad to offer any help I can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Forgot to mention this: On the CPS side of things, if this is a typical situation where they have custody, the child will likely keep Medicaid and the state will pay most or all of the adoption costs. There may also be a stipend that will be available as long as you live in-state or until the child is 18. Additionally, it is possible that you might qualify for a special needs adoption tax credit of up to $10,000 if the child has drug exposure and any expected complications. Ask CPS about this! You may be asked to foster if the parental rights are not fully terminated. I wouldn't say that it is better to foster than to outright adopt...that really just creates a bit of a limbo situation. However, it's the best option if you want the child and the terminations are still in progress. Just find out all you can about the status before you consider fostering, esp. if there is a contested termination or anything else that might cause the child to return to the bio family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 N has no history of depression or any other psychological disorders. How important is this part to you? The reason I ask is that this woman was not living on the streets, doing drugs, getting in trouble with the law, etc if she was perfectly healthy mentally/emotionally. Those behaviors are because of poor choices based on poor self-esteem, depression, mood disorder and/or a number of similar things. Nature DOES play a part in things with a child though I believe Nurture does also...and no doubt that EVERY individual, including this child as it grows, makes his/her own choices. But IF you really want to stay away from a history of mental/emotional issues, then this may not be the situation for you. Just bringing it up since you outlined that particular thing. I only WISH someone would come up and offer us a newborn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 How important is this part to you? The reason I ask is that this woman was not living on the streets, doing drugs, getting in trouble with the law, etc if she was perfectly healthy mentally/emotionally. Those behaviors are because of poor choices based on poor self-esteem, depression, mood disorder and/or a number of similar things. Nature DOES play a part in things with a child though I believe Nurture does also...and no doubt that EVERY individual, including this child as it grows, makes his/her own choices. But IF you really want to stay away from a history of mental/emotional issues, then this may not be the situation for you. The reason I asked the grandmother about this was b/c I wanted to get a clear idea of what we may be looking at in our future. I realize that when you adopt there is always an issue - otherwise the family would not be giving away a child. Yet there are some things that are more hereditary/more challenging to deal with than others. Depression is not an issue for us as most moms in her situation would be depressed. And N (the bio mom) we have learned lost her primary caregiver at the age of 8 and then was sexually abused by her bio father. Depression is only natural in this situation. A history of things like bi-polar or schizophrenia would need to be considered differently. We already know this sweet child was exposed to crack (and who knows what else) in utero. Not that any of those things in themselves would stop us...we are just trying to gather as much information as we can to make an informed decision. We have one special needs child already so we are well aware of the unique challenges (and blessings) of sn kiddos. Again, we are not against adding another child who may have special needs; we just want to learn all we can. Thanks for your feedback. This is all so helpful in helping us think through it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 I have found out more information from J (grandmother): There is no father listed on the birth certificate so we would not have any worries from that end. N's (the mother) rights have not been terminated. We would foster this child until N's prison sentence is completed (1 to 1 1/2 years). Then she would be given a chance to show that she was able to make a life for this child. If that were the case, she would get the baby back. Things running through my head: I am already 36. I will be 38/39 if/when we lost this baby. 39/40/41...when we had our fourth baby after losing her. There would be many more challenges associated with advanced maternal age for me. (Can you tell I am a planner :D I can't help but to think that far in advance) N has 7 other children that have been adopted out through the state. The chances of her gaining back this one is slim to none, yet still the thought of having this sweet child for 2 years and then giving her up is heartbreaking. Okay any more thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 My only other thought, which I'm certain you know already, is that CPS will become a part of your weekly life. Your chances of being accused of child abuse are much higher when you're a foster parent, simply because you're working closely with jaded case workers who have to notice and report any little thing. I know a family who was reported (by a social worker) when the baby had a bruise on her leg, based on that evidence alone. The child had gotten the leg stuck in between the crib bars. Also, unless you are a family member or a foster parent, I don't know if CPS can place the baby with you. I would recommend getting in touch with the child's caseworker ASAP. As for the cocaine use, the risk of a SIDS loss is significantly higher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I would be very specific about the open adoption stuff. If she take the baby for visits will the birth mom ever be present? That would bother me with my foster kids and it's the reason we declined open adoption and sibling visits for our two kids who came to us through foster care. Supervised visits only, in your home or choice of location--at least until you've established a decent relationship over many many years and you know you can trust her to honor you as mother and decision maker. If she understands and accepts that then I'd say you've got a great opportunity here. She'd have to talk with her case workers and you'd probably have to get liscensed. It wouldn't be quick. It would be emotional and a fish bowl experience. You might have to be persuasive with system too. But a beautiful child--totally worth it. My children had greater risks than you mentioned and so far they're doing fantastic--for the entire pregnancy. But go into it with your eyes wide open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 If there is a chance she could take the baby back, my heart could not take that! I know what you mean. You are in my prayers on this decision. What a hard one to make... and especially after a loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pata Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Wow, Jennefer, what an opportunity! I don't know though about fostering for two years and then waiting to see if you could adopt. I would always be afraid the let the child in completely because there was a chance of losing them. On the other hand, what a blessing you could be to this child in his most formative years. I'm sure the He will make it clear to you guys what to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Here is our story: We just 'adopted' my great niece. We chose to get a permanent guardianship (unique to Oregon) that gives us the same rights as adoptive parents but keeps her assets separate (complicated reasons). The mom lost custody at birth and the baby first went to my mom (the babies g-gma) for 5 mths until we could get the legal rights to her. We live on the border of one state and the mom/baby live in another, even though it is only 15 minutes away, it caused 5 mths in delays for us. We had to get a foster licence and raise her like a foster child for 18mths. For us this meant constant visitations with the bio-mom and dad, case worker visits, lawyer visits, casa visits, WIC, state insurance, court dates, hearings, trials and extra medical/therapy appointments for the babies issues. It has been a very, very, very busy and hard 2 years! The baby has had some kind of appointment from the list above 2-4 times a week since we got her. There were weeks in the first year that we got NO school done at all because of her commitments and needs. The baby came to us with nothing, because she grew really fast and was needing a new size up in clothes when we got her, we had to provide everything. Our youngest was 8 at the time, so we had nothing from the baby days. Between all the running around (some of the mileage was reimbursed but this was when gas was $4 a gallon so not all of it was) and provisions, she cost us about $500-900 a month for the first few months. Because she was 5mths, there was no baby shower or friends/family stopping by with gifts, everything came out of my pocket. She didn't qualify for foster funds because she is my niece and in Oregon they wouldn't pay at the time for family to care for a family member's child. Until very recently Oregon law said family should just take care of family for free. She did qualify for a small amount of monthly Washington State funding, $250. She never got a clothing allowance or any extra funds from the state because she wasn't IV-E eligible (four E eligible). It is the huge federal budget for foster kids that if she doesn't qualify for, greatly reduces any funding! Ask if she is, before you agree to take her, it will make a huge difference on your path! The best analogy I can give for our past two years has been living on a roller coaster and just waiting for the person in front of you to throw up. We never knew day to day if the baby was going to be ours or not. The mom and dad weren't in jail long term, and were trying to get her back. But bio-mom(my niece) kept screwing up (going to jail for a few days to a few months) and essentially puking all over the roller coaster! We were trying to be supportive of her getting her back and at the same time planning a life raising the baby. It was a weird feeling of wanting the mom to get her back and us keep her at the same time! We didn't know if the baby was our niece or our daughter! The foster system wasn't bad, just not that useful to us. Since the baby didn't qualify for any funding, they weren't really any help, more of a pain than anything. I had to fill out reports and keep a bunch of documentation that you wouldn't have to do for your own child. I was always having to check in and give them information. This is just time consuming more that difficult! The baby's problems are not profound but they are evident. She is in behavior therapy and OT for her sensory issues. We are trying to qualify for aquatic therapy too. She will have 2-3 appointments a week (different days to not overwhelm her) for at least the next year due to the mom's drug use. The mom smoked pot, drank and we don't know what else. He issues could be a lot worse but they are bad enough as it is. I am sorry to sound like our situation has been negative, but honestly a lot of it has. Our dd is fussy, angry, very needy, irritated, upset, over stimulated, under stimulated, and just miserable...about 10 of the 12 hours she is awake each day. To have a pleasant hour with her is wonderful! To have a pleasant hour with her requires someone to directly play and distract her constantly. She doesn't play by herself. She is very, very smart and has always been ahead of her milestones. It is her impulse control and sensory issues that have really caused the most problems. It has been devastating to dd10 school the past two school years. DD10 has also been the most affected and targeted by dd2. Dd10 needs extra attention now due to dd2s affect on her. I am looking at putting the baby in daycare full time (she already goes 3 days part days when I work) just to school dd10. I am very against it but it seems that she is happier there, since the have activities planned constantly. Unfortunately that also means that my day care bill will go up another $80 a week, on days when I am not working to pay for it! Her daycare bill will almost equal my spending money for the month. But if I don't do it, then dd10 won't get any school done so I have to do something. Negative! YES! but that is the reality of taking on a drug affected child. The baby was difficult as an infant but her true afflictions are only now coming out as a toddler! I really thought that us homeschooling would have been a positive thing for her to grow up in. To have a strong, close family, to love her and raise her. It never occured to me that she would single handed destroy our ability to do that. Her nap time is sometimes spent with me decompressing from the morning, instead of doing school...and I am an emotionally stable, high energy, activity-loving person. Dh and I agree that we made the right decision taking her in, but at the same time we really didn't understand what we were getting ourselves into either. To answer a few questions: The grandmother can recommend you, she cannot choose you. The judge will do that. First step is to call the case worker and ask her advice on the situation. Ask if the child is IV-E eligible, if she is not, find out what that means in this case. Most children in foster care will have state insurance, from birth to 18 even if adopted. An open adoption can mean many things and only you and the grandparent can determine that. Some states have grandparents rights some do not. It will depend a lot on you state on what you are bound to do legally. It is very hard for us to have another family involved in our dds life. It is very hard to have a whole nother set of grandparents, aunts, uncles and all the skeletons in the closet that comes with that. Our dd'ss gma has ongoing mental illness, and current drug convictions. I only found out because her 17yo daughter told me. She seems like a just a sweet gma. There is also genetic illnesses in the family like deafness and mental illness. I had to become a bit nosey to get the information from people who may see you as the enemy instead of the person who is saving the baby. I have to constantly reassure her family that I didn't 'take' the baby and that the judge didn't just give her to us because we seem to be a better family then her bio-family. They don't understand why someone who is on drugs and is in and out of jail, should be raising a baby! Visitations to maintain an open family are great for her and her bio-family but horrible for us! It is really hard when the call to request a visit and then I have to add it in to our already hectic week! Holidays are hard too, as now we have more peoples schedules to accommodate! We don't allow the bio-family in our house, so we have to take her to their house and I have to stay (we can't leave her with them, because they won't honor our request to limit her contact with certain family members) to give them time with her. We do this because it is important for her to grow up knowing them, but it is not as easy as it seems to have a true open adoption. Even though it is just the gma who wants contact, it isn't as easy as just having an extra gma. If you adopt the fees will be paid or reimbursed by the state and you may also qualify for a 10,000 tax credit as someone else mentioned. You will most likely have to foster and then adopt unless the baby is 'free' meaning the parents rights are already terminated. This has gotten very long and I need to run, feel free to PM me if you want more information. I understand if you wold like to run away from my negativity, but it is the reality that we find ourselves in. ~~TAP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Wow, Jennefer, what an opportunity! I don't know though about fostering for two years and then waiting to see if you could adopt. I would always be afraid the let the child in completely because there was a chance of losing them. On the other hand, what a blessing you could be to this child in his most formative years. I'm sure the He will make it clear to you guys what to do! do you know how far along the case is? That will give you some indication as to whether or not there's a greater risk of return home or now. We pretty much knew after the first case review that our foster (now adopted) son wasn't going home. Birthparents weren't meeting their goals and visits were sporadic to non-existent. Still it took almost 3 years before we got to adopt him--just last month! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhondaM. Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Jennefer, Open adoption, as some mentioned, can be wonderful. It can also be very, very hard. We independently adopted out dd when she was a year old from her parents who wanted an open adoption. Now, almost 7 years later the adoption is only open with my dds birthfather as we were forced to close the adoption to her birthmother and everyone on that side of her family. It was heartbreaking. It still is, but we were left with no other choice. I've spoken about our trials with my dds birthmother in the past on these boards, but mostly on the old boards. Still, her birthfather is a great guy and though we don't see very much of him his visits are always enjoyable for all of us, not just my dd. I am in Texas too, and just so you'll know, Texas does not legally recognize 'open' adoptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 do you know how far along the case is? That will give you some indication as to whether or not there's a greater risk of return home or now. We pretty much knew after the first case review that our foster (now adopted) son wasn't going home. Birthparents weren't meeting their goals and visits were sporadic to non-existent. Still it took almost 3 years before we got to adopt him--just last month! The baby is only 9 days old. Her mom is in prison for the next year to year and a half. She has not agreed to terminate rights. When she gets out she wants a chance to change and get this child back. That being said, she has 7 other children who have been taken away by CPS and adopted by other families. This is only one of two of the seven who was not born addicted to drugs. Thankfully since she was in prison she didn't have access to drugs. I don't think we will have any idea what we would be looking at for a year or more after having this little one and mom gets out of prison. It's really hard b/c you want to think the mom can change her life and get off drugs. That is the hope for anyone. Yet at the same time, if she does that we would lose the baby. Hmmmmmm.....Tough stuff for certain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted November 13, 2008 Author Share Posted November 13, 2008 Just thought I would bump this up in case anyone else had any advice that's on tonight! Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I would talk to the social workers and see EXACTLY what is involved. They might need to place the baby with a sibling, etc. Also, on the father, they need to make SURE SURE SURE to terminate rights on the father----even if mom didn't list one. The courts then need to terminate on the potential father (or how ever they word it). That can come back to haunt you if in 1-2 years the father finds out he has a child he never knew about. An adopted child can be added to your insurance. Not sure about an adoption subsidy--that would depend on the case when you petition for adoption. Also, once you adopt, YOU have final say about the level of openness in the adoption. I would though think long and hard about the level of openness you want (or don't want). I would say that if mom has 7 prior terminations, a history of drug abuse, homelessness, etc. then there is VERY likely some mental health issues at play here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in IL Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I want to add one thing. Try and find out about mom's alcohol use. Alcohol is much more damaging to the deveoping baby than crack. I think the rest of the advice you have been getting is good. I have adopted three children through CPS. It is definitely an emotional roller coaster as you wait to see if you will be able to adopt. I have an open adoption with my middle dd's dad and my older dd's sister. It has been a great thing for all of us, but I am always present when they visit. Pray, pray, pray, and you will make the right decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 The baby is only 9 days old. Her mom is in prison for the next year to year and a half. She has not agreed to terminate rights. When she gets out she wants a chance to change and get this child back. That being said, she has 7 other children who have been taken away by CPS and adopted by other families. This is only one of two of the seven who was not born addicted to drugs. Thankfully since she was in prison she didn't have access to drugs. I don't think we will have any idea what we would be looking at for a year or more after having this little one and mom gets out of prison. It's really hard b/c you want to think the mom can change her life and get off drugs. That is the hope for anyone. Yet at the same time, if she does that we would lose the baby. Hmmmmmm.....Tough stuff for certain. Where are the other 7 kids? If they're with relatives then who ever has the youngest will get "first right of refusal" for foster placement. They'll also get first right of refusal for adoption. Our kids were babies 8 & 9 for their birthmother. None of the other kids were lived with birth parents. However, they were all with relatives. Our kids were the first to be placed non-related foster care -- by grandma. Birth dad did show up in court with someone he wanted to adopt our son. It wasn't even considered because of his reputation with the court. Because birthmom isn't open to signing terminations doesn't mean that eventually it could end in adoption. But it does mean that it will be a looong emotional roller coaster ride in foster care for this baby. Has birthmom been getting supervised visits? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre in GA Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 i am an adoptive mom. even though there is no birth father listed you still need to have the birth father's rights legally terminated. besides the experience on the forum, you need to talk with an adoption lawyer familiar with your state's laws. our adoption is open but the birth mom is a 1000 miles away. it has been an absolutely positivie experience but my son's birth mom has turned her life around 180 degrees since entrusting me to raise her son. the dynamics might be very different if we were geographically closer and she was still in crisis. i wish you well with this decision and i commend you for considering it so thoughtfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamuelsMommy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 The baby is only 9 days old. Her mom is in prison for the next year to year and a half. She has not agreed to terminate rights. When she gets out she wants a chance to change and get this child back. That being said, she has 7 other children who have been taken away by CPS and adopted by other families. This is only one of two of the seven who was not born addicted to drugs. Thankfully since she was in prison she didn't have access to drugs. I don't think we will have any idea what we would be looking at for a year or more after having this little one and mom gets out of prison. It's really hard b/c you want to think the mom can change her life and get off drugs. That is the hope for anyone. Yet at the same time, if she does that we would lose the baby. Hmmmmmm.....Tough stuff for certain. I'm not sure what state you are in, but I used to be a case manager for DCS in TN. In our state, if the birthmom had already lost parental rights on 7 children, we would have been able to go ahead and pursue termination of rights to the baby just on that alone. We wouldn't have to wait for her to get out of jail to have a chance to prove whether or not she could parent. You should probably check with DCS and see if that is the case in this situtation or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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