Peaceseeker Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 (edited) Deleted for privacy Edited February 4, 2018 by CaliforniaDreaming 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I’m sorry you’re going through this — it took a lot of courage to finally do what needed to be done. :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm sorry. I understand. You did the right thing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I can't recall ever doing this or having it done to me. Many friendships over the years have died what felt like slow natural deaths. Some hang on for 20 years even though we never see each other or hang out....and in one case she is so socially off of my mindset that I have to hide her posts sometimes.....but I do love her and can't imagine ever telling her 'friendship over.' I am sure in some cases this is necessary though if you live close and one person keeps trying to keep the friendship alive. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceseeker Posted February 1, 2018 Author Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) I thought it might die a slow natural death but it didn't work out that way. I guess we were too close for too long. I am an avid conflict avoider so that would have definitely been my preference though... It was a one sided relationship for a very long time. And I just don't have anything left to give. I can't fake it either. I am terrible at faking stuff. Edited February 1, 2018 by CaliforniaDreaming 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I thought it might die a slow natural death but it didn't work out that way. I guess we were too close for too long. I am an avid conflict avoider so that would have definitely been my preference though... It was a one sided relationship for a very long time. And I just don't have anything left to give. I can't fake it either. I am terrible at faking stuff. It makes perfect sense to me. I assume there's much more to the story than you want to share on a public board. Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I get it. I also get why you're keeping the details to yourself. It's tough for everyone involved and I hope each of you finds other friendships to fill the void. . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I’m sorry! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I feel sorry for you both. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 So sorry for you...it's difficult no matter what the circumstances are. I was there for my friend throughout her bad marriage...25 years. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer, died within weeks. I was there for all of that, as well. She immediately began dating, became engaged (I was not allowed to meet him), and married. It was a bizarre end to what had been a lifelong friendship. It bothered me at first, but I moved on. If we were to meet up now, I think it would be awkward, at best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceseeker Posted February 2, 2018 Author Share Posted February 2, 2018 (edited) Deleted for privacy Edited February 4, 2018 by CaliforniaDreaming 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 I have been doing a lot of reading on narcissism and I think that may be what I have been dealing with in this situation. I am now dealing with all the poison darts and crazy drama I knew was going to happen. It is emotionally exhausting but I am trying to stay strong and not allow myself to be manipulated or sucked back in. It's hard because I am so highly empathetic. I can't stand to hurt anyone even a tiny bit. But it's self preservation at this point really. I never connected the dots for years although there were so many signs in retrospect. Keep connecting those dots and don’t get sucked back in — not even to defend yourself. Ignore, ignore, ignore! If this person is a narcissist, she’s not hurting in the way you’re imagining, because her mind doesn’t work the same way yours works. She’s not hurting because you ended the friendship and she’s sad and she misses you as a person. She is hurting because she is losing some of the attention she craves. It’s not YOU she’s missing. It’s all of the attention you gave her that she’s upset about losing. I’m so sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like it has been a long time coming, and that it will be worth getting through this storm because your life will be more peaceful without her. Stay strong and don’t feel guilty!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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